I had tried to send this directly to David but it kept on coming back to
me as undeliverable.  

Ranma cocked an eye at doorway and by implication

                        ^
 "at the doorway"
     ^^^
  

The chauffer-driven black limousine drove

     ^^^^^^^^
 "chauffeur"
  
 <your... the *family's* promise to the Tendo family is
                                        ^^^^^
 Not a big problem, just an inconsistency.  Earlier you spelt Tendo 
 with an ending 'u' (Tendou).

    "You, be quiet!"  Nodoka gestured violently with
her katana in Genma's direction, and the blade flew
out of the scabbard and zipped past his head.  The
hilt banged into one of the thicker edge uprights of
the shoji to land untidily on floor behind him.
    A suddenly-pale Genma was instantly still.
    "Oops," said Nodoka embarrassedly.

  
 Great piece of comic relief.  I love it.
 

this point to him earlier.  She had chased after

            ^^
 "with"?
 

once.  If fact, she was smiling too, a smile that

        ^^
 "In"
 

esure no harm came to Akane.

 ^^^^^
 "ensure"
 

*your* fault.  Even your curse... and believe that

                                       ^^^^^^^
 "belief" or maybe "conviction"
 

viscious risposte using the side of the spatula

 ^^^^^^^^
 "vicious"
 

      He turned to see that Akane was holding her own
against Kodachi, with Ukyou struggling against the
pain of her ribs to lift her spatula.  He skipped
behind Akane and spoke into her ear.  "Can I help
you?" he asked her.

 
 Very nice way of illustrating the change in their relationship.
 

Nodoka turned her gaze from her her prospective

                                 ^^^
 second her is not needed
 
 
I had read an earlier version that was on your web page, (the one  
that ends with a scene with Ranma and Akane talking in her room.) I 
like the ending of this version much more.  It makes more sense in 
light of what has happened earlier.  Nodoka being added was a 
definite improvement and her thoughts at the end add a needed 
dimension to her. And she brings up a good point: Why did she let 
Genma leave with her son for so long? 
 
I am looking forward to the remaining parts. (Don't be tempted to 
rush things just to finish it. If you need 10 more parts to bring it
to a satisfactory ending, do 10 more parts.)
 
Peggy