A brief Switch of pace...

	OK, so you've all been treated to the start... here's more of 
the fic... don't ask me why...

----------------------

	It was a normal day in Nerima, the most atypical district in the 
world.  The sun was shining, the birds were singing (as was their wont), 
mothers were seeing their offspring off to school, and Ranma was flying 
through the air via Akane Express (as was sometimes her wont).

	Yes, it was a typical day in Nerima.

	Ukyou Kuonji was late.  She was barreling through the street in 
record time, scattering dust all about her.  "Damn damn damn damn," she 
cursed herself, for waking up so late.  "It's not as if there was anybody 
to keep me awake last night."  She stopped at that.  "Foolish girl, you 
definitely won't get anybody by moping," she finally said.  She started 
to run again, trying to make up for lost time daydreaming when suddenly...  

	Ranma crashed into the pavement right in front of her.

	Again, this still seemed like a typical day in Nerima.

	"Ranchan!!!  Are you okay?!?!"  shouted Ukyou as she tried to 
wake Ranma up, classes be damned.  Suddenly, Ranma stood up, looking 
none the worse for wear.  It seemed he was about to say something, but 
then he saw Ukyou and words seemed to fail him.

	"Ucchan," Ranma said in a voice that seemed almost like a 
gasp.  He looked upon Ukyou as if seeing her for the first time.

	This did not go unnoticed by Ukyou.  Understandably, she was 
flustered, confused, and maybe just a LITTLE bit excited.  "Ra - 
Ra - Ranchan.  Are you feeling all right?"  Ranma didn't respond.  
He seemed to be contemplating something.  This lasted for several 
minutes.

	I suppose we can all assume that this is what we can call a 
pregnant moment.  Weeeell, eventually the moment gave birth 
(argggghhhhh!!!!! That was a VERY bad pun).

	Ranma moved closer to Ukyou, as if he had decided something.  
Ukyou, at this point, was VERY nervous.  She didn't know what to 
think, what to do, or what Ranma was going to do, either.  In fact, 
she kinda seemed like a deer caught in the oncoming headlights of 
a -- tank.  Ranma stopped within inches of her, as if waiting for 
her to respond.

	Ukyou's heart was pounding mercilessly.  Ukyou was thinking:  
"This is your chance, girl!!!  All this time you've been waiting.  
Now your dreams may now actually come true.  Go for it girl.  C'MON!!!"  
Unfortunately her body didn't seem to want to respond.  It wasn't 
everyday that Ukyou was face to face and only inches from the man she 
loved.

	As it turned out, Ukyou didn't have to do a thing.  As if 
reading her thoughts, Ranma suddenly leaned forward and kissed Ukyou.  
Ukyou was only too happy to reply.  They stayed like that for a long 
time both obviously enjoying the experience.

	Okay, so maybe it wasn't a typical day after all...  

*****

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic:
Split Ends
by Pervert
proud escapee of the
Nikholas F. Toledo Zu

*****

Chapter 1: At Times Like This, Nothing's Better Than A Flashback


(The Previous Day, Late Afternoon)

	It was a slow day in the Nekohanten, which was unfortunate 
(unfortunate for Ranma at any rate...).  Cologne was busy 'overseeing' 
the cleaning of the Nekohanten by Mousse (i.e., ordering Mousse around 
and generally annoying him to no end) when Shampoo came home.  She 
looked like she just came from a fight.  She had one VERY big bruise 
on her head and, more importantly, she was stark naked.  This meant 
either of two things.  Either she got into another fight which ended 
in Shampoo getting thrown into a pool of water, or she had finally 
succeeded in (ahem) 'loving' Ranma in the way she knew best.  Seeing 
as the latter was very very very very very very (etc.) unlikely, 
Cologne asked how the fight went.

	"It go horrible, great-grandma.  Shampoo just come (on) to 
future husband (Ranma) after husband come from school.  Violent girl 
(Akane) suddenly hit Shampoo while Shampoo greet future husband (she 
nearly hugged Ranma to asphyxiation).  Then, when Shampoo about to 
challenge violent girl, she get knocked unconscious when spatula girl 
(Ukyou) and HoHoHo girl (duh!) suddenly step on Shampoo's head and 
knock her into river.  Shampoo no stand it!!!  There too many not-nice 
people after future husband," she finished as she sighed in frustration.

	Cologne took this all in immediately (she didn't even read the 
editor's notes).   However, she was a bit confused as to what to do next.  
Instead, all she did was order Shampoo to wash up and train some more.  
When Shampoo complied, she sat down and tried to see how to resolve 
their problem.  In her deep thought, she even ignored Mousse, who thus 
finished in record time and went upstairs to rest before anyone could 
stop him.

	"If only there was a way to get rid of the other fiancées," 
Cologne thought.  She continued, "getting future-son-in-law out of this 
district would actually be easy if not for the false fiancées.  Clearly, 
I cannot just take Ranma without invoking the ire of half the people in 
Nerima.  There must be a way of taking Ranma without arousing their 
wrath, but how?"

	After several minutes of deep thought, she seemed to have finally 
made a decision.  She AH-HAd in a how-could-I-be-so-stupid voice and then 
proceeded to the kitchen to prepare.  She took out yet another dusty old 
cookbook of Amazon recipes and prepared to cook.  She cooked for 
approximately three hours (sorry, I don't really know how to cook, so I 
can't describe how) until she had what seemed a VERY large bowl of ramen.  
Suddenly, she remembered something.  

	"How could I forget the titanium dioxide, without it... this is 
worthless (well actually, it would just require constant refrigeration)!" 
She then, in a supreme lack of judgment, went upstairs, woke up Mousse, 
and told him to go to the drugstore and buy some titanium dioxide.  This 
was incredibly stupid because, well... how can you expect a person who 
can barely recognize Shampoo, the woman of his dreams, the mother of his 
future children, the face that launched a thousand ships, etc. to be able 
to read the tiny labels of medicine bottles?  Even so, after a couple of 
minutes of waiting, Mousse finally returned to the Nekohanten with a tiny 
packet of powder.  In Cologne's excitement at finally solving the fiancée 
mess, she committed another crime against common sense by not reading the 
tiny packet of powder.  If she had, she would have seen the label:

                           Monosodium Glutamate
                           Do Not Confuse With
                             Titanium Dioxide
                                 EVER!!!!

	Be that as it may... Cologne finished up.  She ordered Mousse to 
clean the kitchen with his tongue and then proceeded to the Tendo Dojo 
carrying the large bowl of ramen.


(Later that night, at the Tendo Dojo)

	Ranma was sitting, alone, on the Tendo table.  He watched in fear 
as, ever so slowly, his death sentence was being prepared.  Each minute 
was slow torture for him as he waited for his nemesis.  Not Kuno, not 
Mousse, not Ryouga, not even Shinnosuke (where did that come from?).  He 
was about to face the one thing that he has never defeated.

	Akane's cooking.

	While waiting for his doom, Ranma wondered why it seemed that only 
he could say to Akane that her cooking stunk.  "It wasn't as if it was 
some big secret, or something," Ranma thought.  "And how come I'm the one 
who has to eat it?  When Akane cooks, all of a sudden people disappear or 
find something important to do.  Alas, the things I do for l--" Ranma 
suddenly stopped thinking at this point,  part of his mind not wanting to 
admit the implications of what he said and another part wondering where he 
got that Kuno-esque line.  
	
	 In any case, Ranma was saved from his culinary dilemma by the 
intervention of a higher power.  In this case, Cologne.  Cologne suddenly 
popped up carrying a VERY large bowl of ramen, as you observant types 
should already know.  In any case, when Cologne arrived, so did everybody 
else, it seemed.

	"Thank you boy!!!  You've saved your father from starvation!  You 
do your father proud!!!"  exclaimed Genma as he rushed to get the noodles, 
only to be bopped on the head by Cologne and rendered unconscious.  

	"I apologize, Genma, but this bowl is reserved for son-in-law ONLY." 
Cologne said to the unconscious man/panda/chicken.  

	The rest of the Tendo denizens then came into the dining hall.  
Including Akane with a big smile on her face.

	"Uh oh," thought Ranma.  "I'm in trouble now..."

	"What's she doing there?!?!"  exclaimed Akane when she saw Cologne 
sitting next to Ranma.  "She's probably up to no good!!!"

	"Calm down, child.  I merely wish to give your fiancée here a bowl 
of ramen as a supplement to his diet," answered Cologne.	

	This seemed to mollify Akane somewhat.  It also helped that Cologne 
acknowledged that Ranma was her fiancée.  So she regained her happy 
disposition.  "It's just as well that Cologne brought ramen here.  I just 
finished making the desert, seeing as the ramen I made seemed to have 
this... odd flavor.  That's weird, considering I already added mayonnaise 
and strawberry jam to liven it up.  In any case, the jello I made seemed 
to be okay.  Though I honestly don't remember putting any purple food 
coloring," stated Akane in a sweet voice and cute smile.

	Ranma's mind worked overtime upon hearing the possibility of pain 
inflicted by:  1) Akane's cooking;  and, 2) Akane's reaction to Ranma's 
reaction to Akane's cooking.  Immediately, his brain latched upon an idea 
that seemed to give maximum pleasure for minimum pain.  Another plus was 
that the plan didn't even require carnal acts (darn).  All he had to do, 
he thought, was eat so much of Cologne's ramen that he would be too full 
to eat Akane's dessert.

	Thus, Ranma started to eat the bowl of ramen with gusto.  So intent 
was he on the bowl of ramen which was his salvation that he didn't notice 
the ramen disappearing once, twice, thrice, and finally 5 times as fast as 
when he started.  The one thing on his mind was: "I will not eat Akane's 
cooking.  I will not eat Akane's cooking, I will not eat Akane's
cooking...."  
Because of this, he didn't notice anything unusual.

	However, everybody else did.  The entire audience witnessing Ranma's 
gluttony (including you, I hope) was surprised to see first one, then
another, 
then a third, then a fourth Ranma appear next to each other, all still 
slurping away.  After the third Ranma appeared, another figure appeared, also 
eating the ramen, this one appeared to be the female version of Ranma.  Next, 
to the left of the female Ranma appeared a little boy, who looked exactly
like 
a 6-year-old Ranma, eating the ramen like there was no tomorrow.  Finally, 
another Ranma appeared, dressed in all black, also eating the ramen with
gusto.  
This was strange, everybody thought, even for Nerima.  

	Eventually, all the Ranmas (or reasonable facsimiles) were able to 
finish the ramen.  They all looked up, saw one another, and, being the men 
among men that they are, fainted.


Chapter 2: Wherein the Author explains what the hell is going on.

(nowhere)

	Hi!  I'm trying something new here.  Instead of trying to put 
author's ramblings on the end of a fanfic.  I decided to put it in 
the fanfic instead.  Just to be original.

	Wait!!!  Don't scroll to the next chapter.  This chapter is 
actually relevant to the plot.  This is where I explain what actually 
happened, instead of just copping out and letting Cologne or someone 
else explain everything.  I don't really intend for Ranma and Co. to 
know what's going on.

	Oh yeah, I'm supposed to explain what happened.  Well, the recipe 
that Cologne followed was actually a recipe to create doppelgangers.  It 
was developed early on by the Amazons when they first realized how small 
their village actually was.  If the Amazons were ever threatened by 
outsiders.  They would just make their best warriors eat the doppelganger 
ramen and *poof* - instant army!  The duplicates would then fade after a 
couple of days, more than enough time to cream whatever army came the 
Amazons' way...

	Cologne originally planned to make Ranma eat the ramen and then, 
when a double was created, steal the original one to ship overseas before 
anybody would notice Ranma was gone (which would be when the doppelganger 
disappeared after a week).  However, there were complications.

	When Cologne fed Ranma the ramen, because of the monosodium glutamate, 
instead of creating exact duplicates, it split Ranma into different 
components of his personality and then exaggerated these aspects.  These 
duplicates can thus be described as follows.

	The original Ranma is still there.  But since most of his personality 
is split up, he's a bit... toned down.  He's not as proud, not as selfless, 
not as stupid, etc.  He'll be known as Ranma1 for the rest of this fanfic.

	The next Ranma is the smart Ranma.  He got the logical aspects of 
Ranma's personality.  Since that wasn't saying much, the Gods also gave 
this double most of Ranma's selflessness and love of friends.  We'll call 
him Ranma2.

	The third Ranma is actually a manifestation of his arrogance and 
pride.  'Nuff said.  We'll call him Ranma3.

	The fourth Ranma is a hentai.  He's the embodiment of Ranma's lusts 
that, considering he's a guy, makes this overblown part of his personality 
sort of like Ataru on steroids.  He's Ranma4.

	The Ranko look-alike actually IS Ranko.  She's the curse made flesh.  
She's actually one of the most normal of the Ranmas because she is 
basically Ranma's girl half.  The only thing that sets her apart is that 
she thinks she's a girl.  Let's just call her Ranko.

	The cute little kid is the manifestation of Ranma's innocence and 
childishness.  He basically acts like a little kid and often requires 
constant supervision.  Let's call him SD Ranma.

	And the seventh Ranma... that would be telling.  Allow this humble 
author some surprises at least.  

	This author would like to thank tons of people for their help and 
support:

	Thanks to Nikholas F. Toledo Zu for their numerous suggestions on 
the development of this storyline.  I'd also like to thank my inspiration 
X, who has known me these past few years and still manages to be my friend.  
Thank you for the C&C which you will, hopefully, dole out to comment on 
this offering by yours truly.  Thanks to God and showers for giving me the 
idea for this fic.  TY for your support.

	Ranma is owned by Rumiko Takahashi and/or Viz and/or Shogakukan 
and/or anybody else I don't know and who happens to own these characters.  

	Now... on with the show...   

----------

	Not yet, though.  
	C&C can be sent here, or to lirag@misa.irf.ph.net.
	Goo'night!