On Sat, 07 Jun 1997 20:31:32 -0500, Keener wrote:

Okay, here's part two of my fic devoted to painful memories, dreams,
hiding behind masks and Martial Artist/Wu-Jen/Assasign/Ducks. See Gary?

:-P

	C&C would be appreciated... and lorded over the rest of the FFML as my
right of conquest ;)

You wish. Actually this'll cost you 4000 yen. :-)

	The acrobats tumbled and the lions roared, yet neither made any sound

Roaring without sound? Must be a dream sequence. (Gary looks at the
title and says "Well, duh.")

as they leaped about the stage.  Paper dragons danced around to
noiseless drums and men painted up as monkeys gave out small trinkets
while they patted children on the head. Yet, the children laughter was

childrens' laughter

	Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a robbed magician. The figure

robed. (A robbed magician means someone made his money disappear.)

woman disappeared in a soundless explosion of pink smoke. Where the
woman had been but a moment before, there was now a sleek jungle cat. It
was as beautiful, in it's own way, as the woman had been. Powerful and

its ("it's"="it is")

regal with a strange intelligence gleaming in it's green eyes. 

its

	The weapon felt almost too real to be a dream dagger. Its colors were
too dull and it's weight too heavy. A faint haze, like heat waves,

its. (BTW, "its weight too heavy" seems redundant to me since heavy also
specifically indicates weight. Maybe this should be "its weight too
great".)

	Mousse turned to see that the beast had perked up at the sight of the
knife and was now watching him with glittering, almost possessive eyes.
He fumbled with the weapon and looked back at the crowd. They were
smiling at him and the magician bowed his head again. When the martial
artist turned around, the jungle cat was right beside him, it's breath

its

heating up Mousses body, its eyes boring into his soul. Slowly, the cat
moved forward, the blade parting it's fur and scrapping roughly against

its fur and scraping

	With a voiceless cry, he dropped the knife. It fell with all the
passiveness of unavoidable fate, seemingly unhurried. The choice had
been made and there was no need to rush. The wizard, now wearing a tear
covered mask, shook his head sadly. When the weapon finally made it's

its

	A low moan escaped Mousse's lips as he slowly regained consciousness.
Whipping sweat from his forehead, the young man fumbled for his glasses

Wiping

and stretched. Trying to shake the fuzziness from his head, he began his
early morning kata's. 

katas.

	The Nekouhaten did a brsik buisness that day. Male customers brought in

Nekohanten did a brisk business

their hard earned yen for a bowl of ramen and a glimpse of Amazon
bounce.

Cologne's still got it! ;-)

Mousse went through the day with little trouble. The nights pain

night's

	Where Mousse's work blosomed by his new found attentiveness to the job

blossomed

at hand, Shampoo's faltered. Amazons hated change, they had remained
true to tradition for a couple of mellieum and were, by their very

millennia

nature, creatures of habit. Cologne was no help to her either, she'd
just say, "Yes, very omnious." and then muse quietly to herself while

ominous

noding at something Shampoo couldn't hear.

nodding

	Finally, after Shampoo thought she'd explode if Mousse didn't at least
walk into a wall while staring longingly, and in the wrong direction, at
her; Ranma showed up. "Ummmmm, hi, I just came by to see if..." His
query was cut short as he was smothered in soft, bouncy curves and sweet
smelling lavendar hair.

lavender

	"Ai lien!" Shampoo shouted, her arms encircling Ranma's body in a death

Ai ren!

	"Ack!" Ranma's senses went into overload, Shampoo rarely held him so
close, or with all of her Amazonian strength. While a part of his brain
was busy fighting his incredible arousal, another more sensible part
just spent it's time worrying about breathing. "I-I can't breathe

its

Shampoo, you-your killing me." he wheezing.	    

"you're"; "he wheezed", or "he said, wheezing".

	Mousse walked out of the back with a towel draped over his shoulder.
Without giving the couple a second glance, he began busily wiping an
abandoned table. Shampoo watched him closely and then sighed heavily,
releasing the Ranma who fell to the ground, gasping for air. The young

Take out "the" before "Ranma".

	"Look Ranma, I just had a bad dream, okay? Everythings fine now."

Everything's

	Turning to leave, Mousse's voice stoped him. "Ranma? Thanks for trying,

stopped

	"Alright, just remember your welcome at the Tendo's, just leave all

Tendos

	"Sure thing." Ranma grinned, things seemed like they were going to okay
afterall.  

after all

	It wasn't a throwing blade. There was no balance to it and its edges
were not blunted, but sharp and hard. This wasn't a magician or

magician's

	Letting the boy's wonder and happiness flow into himself, Mousse danced
around, his arms outstretched. Spinning to a crouching position to the
child, he silently asked him to join his dance. The little boy clapped
his acceptance and together they spun about the dreamscape. As they
turned and pivoted, hand in hand, the world seemed to reform around

re-form

	The magician appeared before them in an explosion of purple smoke. With
a bow to Mousse, he crouched down to the young boy's level, his mask
changing to a conspiratal wink; he pointed the boy to a small stage.

conspiratorial

	Cologne listened to Mousse's screams as he awoke, shaking her head
woefully. If that scream was any indication, there was worse to come. If
only she had been there eight years ago, maybe she could of... no, she

could have, or could've

chided herself, that situation had been beyond her control. Besides, no
matter what she did, something was bound to resurface. Whatever it was,
it was past time the boy confronted it. As she slowly climbed the stairs
to her own bedroom, she contiued muttering to herself, not noticing the

continued

pink cat looking worridly at Mousse's door.

worriedly

	Elsewhere, a young women sat atop an blossoming cherry tree, her mind

woman sat atop a

flooded with old memories. Absently, she reached into a pouch and
touched a carefully flattened flower. "Do you remember me Mu Tsu? Do you
remember Lo-shun?"

The End Part II Dream Circus

Well, that looked to be very well written. I guess Mousse accidentally
caused the death of Lotion's child? I'll have to wait and see -- that
means please keep going on this!

Gary Kleppe
kleppe@execpc.com, Home page http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe
My fanfics and the FFML map are on my comics/manga page,
       http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics