*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)
(The future isn't what it used to be....)
"SAILOR JUPITER V.S GODZILLA 6.7"
(A Sailor Moon MSTing)
MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7
This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, games,
etc. are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc....
Sailor Moon is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and all the
distributors of her work.
"Sailor Moon V.S Godzilla" is the property of the Flashman and he's
welcome to it. I do not intend to offend him for making fun of his work
like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does.
Think of this as another form of C&C. ;)
THE HOLOCABANA
10:22 HOURS
"Damn, those alien bastards are going to pay for shooting up
my ride...." Joel grumbled to himself as he slowly made his way along
the roof. He noticed several gas tanks nearby a fan and fired two rounds
at them, causing them to explode and take out the blades of the fan,
allowing him to enter and ride the air shaft down to street level.
Joel carefully looked around him for enemies. Finding none, he
carefully made his way towards a large wooden crate....
Sudden the hissing sound of hoverjets could be heard coming
towards him. Instantly, Joel ran fast and hid behind the crates for cover
just as an alien came into view. Joel waited until the alien was in range
and then let him have it with his gun, emptying a full clip before the alien
collapsed to the ground, dead.
Joel wished he could have taken the alien's jetpack but he had
to hurry if he was going to survive the next few minutes. He jumped on
top of the crates and instantly regretted it when an alien shot him through
one of the windows.
"Damn it!" Joel cursed inwardly as he fired another volley at the
window and then made his way up on the ledge. He stepped through the
window and saw the would-be assassin's dead carcass. Taking a moment
to grab some extra ammo on the mattress, Joel was about to leave when he
suddenly remembered something.
"Isn't there supposed to be two aliens in here?" he wondered to
himself as he made his way over to a movie poster, advertising an XXX
rated film called "Attack of the Bleached Blonde Biker Bimbos." He
placed his hand against it, triggering the secret switch and causing the
wall to open....
Only to find himself dead on the floor, the victim of a shotgun
blast to the chest. Inside the space where the poster used to be, hovered
Tom Servo with a special attachment to hold the shotgun for him.
Although Tom's head was made out of a gumball machine, Joel had the
impression he was smirking.
"That's three in a row, Joel. If you trying to lull me into a false
sense of security, you've succeeded." Tom observed sarcastically.
"Sarcasm noted and appreciated." Joel replied as he got to his
feet, the chest wound magically disappearing. "But I'll even the score
eventually...."
"If you say so, Joel." Tom chuckled. "By the way, have you
seen Crow around or did you actually manage to get him before I got
you?"
"Nope, he's still...." Joel began.
"INCOMING!!!" Tom screamed and zipped back into the
space just as a large shell came through the window and exploded.
Joel walked over to another window and saw Crow T. Robot standing
on a ledge in front of the "Innocent?" sign. Joel and Tom had fought
long enough for Crow to get to the hidden bazooka and he was now
firing it at will. Joel gave him a wave and then turned his attention to
the poster, Tom was hiding behind.
"Since I'm dead, I think I'll hang around in the bar till you
guys finish up, okay?" Joel said.
"Okay, Joel. Catch you later." Tom's voice responded from
behind the poster. "By the way, can you drop your ammo before you
go?"
"Come on, Tom, that's cheating." Joel protested.
"Oh, all right! Leave me here to die then." Tom replied
sarcastically.
"Okay." Joel smiled as he called out. "Magic Voice, send
me to the bar in Episode 1, Level 2 and no monsters okay?"
The atmosphere shifted from the inside of an apartment to the
noisy bar. The strobe lights were flashing and Joel winced from the
volume of the music.
"Magic Voice, Can you get rid of the lights and change the
music? Just play something relaxing but not dull."
"Do you wish to remove the exotic dancers as well?" Magic
Voice asked.
Joel thought about it. Then he thought about it some more.
"Nah." he finally replied.
A moment later the red/blue lights vanished and the
ear-piercing music died down. Joel took a seat near the center stage as
a well endowed dancer came up from the floor and began her tease.
Joel was just beginning to relax when Gypsy's voice suddenly came
over the intercom.
"Guys? I hate to bother you but...."
Joel sighed. "Don't tell me. Let me guess...."
* * *
THE SATELLITE OF LOVE
Joel walked towards the bridge, along with a sulking Crow and
a triumphant Tom who was telling Joel how he managed to get the drop
on Crow.
"You cheated!" Crow protested. "You used your hoverjets to
knock me off my feet and shot me in the back when I was down!"
"Hey, I don't have a big foot so I have to use what I have."
Tom replied. "Besides, it's a deathmatch. Anything goes!"
"I still say you cheated!" Crow replied.
"Come on guys, the Madds are calling." Joel said as they
entered the bridge area. Dr. Clayton Forrester's face was already on the
viewscreen.
"Ah, Joel....robots....sorry to interrupt your little game in
progress but I'm afraid it's time once again for me to show off my
creativity and for you to see yet another bad fanfic. This one isn't a
lemon like the first two. After you survived a fic like...." Dr. Forrester
shuddered. "....Artemis's Lover....I've decided to go back to the basics.
But before I get into that, let's do our invention exchange. I believe I'll
let you go first this time, Joel....
"Okay, Dr. F." Joel replied as he held up a package of blue pens
and took one out of the box. "I invented this for everyone who can never
find a pen when they need it and have to resort to the nub of a yellow
pencil crayon because they're too lazy to look for one around the house.
All you have to do is click the end of it four times and it will
automatically generate a homing signal." Joel clicked the pen four
times and then continued. "Then if the pen is taken out of a certain
area....
Joel walked away from the table towards the theater door.
After moving a considerable distance away, the pen began to beep
rapidly. Joel moved back towards the table and the pen immediately
ceased beeping.
"It'll keep beeping until it's returned to it's preprogrammed area.
All you have to do is put a pen in every room and program it and then
you'll never have to look for another one again."
Dr. F hummed. "Not bad....But what happens when the pen
runs out of ink?"
Joel reached behind the table and placed a black box on the
table. "They're refillable sir. Just place them in this machine and in
seconds, the ink is replenished. The machine holds enough ink to refill
10 of these pens for at least five years. I've decided to call it *The
Inker Signature Pager Collection* or ISPC for short. What do you
think, sir?"
"An interesting, if somewhat dull, invention. Now, my
invention on the other hand....Frank?" Dr. Forrester gestured off
screen. A moment later, T.V.'s Frank wheeled in a large television
sat on a platform with wheels. Dr. Forrester turned his attention back
to Joel and the bots.
"Now, some of you may be familiar with the Cartoon Network
and other channels of that nature, allowing it's viewers to recapture
their youth through old reruns of Scooby Doo, Tex Avery, The Jetsons,
and Voltron: Defender of the Universe, to name a few...."
"What we've done...." Frank continued. "....Is set up a 24
hour cartoon channel of our own featuring cartoons that failed to gain
lasting popularity. We're talking reruns of Punky Brewster!" Dr.
Forrester exclaimed.
"Lost episodes of The Pac Man Show...." T.V. Frank chimed in.
"Rude Dog and the Dweebs...." Dr. F added.
"The Get Along Gang!" Frank sneered.
Dr. F and Frank took turns shouting out the titles.
"Captain N: The Game Master!"
"Kidd Video!"
"The NEW Speed Racer!"
"The NEW Archies!"
"Street Frogs!"
"And even....MR. T!" Dr. Forrester and Frank said at the same
time, grinning at one another. "And since nobody holds any interest
in these failed cartoons...." Dr. Forrester continued. "We'll be able to
sell them dirt cheap to syndication networks throughout the world and
unleash them on the unwitting public, softening their minds until we
finally unleash the fanfic/film that breaks your spirit and then we will
rule the world! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!" Dr. Forrester broke into
laughter again, this time joined by Frank.
They finally stopped after a minute. Dr. Forrester wiped a tear
from his eye as he sighed. "Ah, I'm brilliant, I know it and I clapped my
hands...." He turned his attention once again to the screen.
"Today experiment should bring back some fond memories of
all those *Gamera Vs.* films I made you watch in the old days. Come to
think of it, I believe you saw a few Godzilla films as well so this should
bring back some fond memories...."
The bots and Joel looked at each other. "You're sending us a
Godzilla fanfic?" They all asked at once, looking bored.
"It's a Sailor Moon/Godzilla crossover. No, actually it's a
Sailor Jupiter/Godzilla crossover. I think the author has a thing for
her or something...."
"Good, we were getting tired of fics starring Mina...." Tom
remarked.
"I wasn't!" Crow retorted.
"It's not a lemon either...." Crow's face fell. "Anyway, enjoy
*Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla* fellows and remember....If anyone pukes
on the floor again, you're cleaning it up! You know who you are!"
Crow would have blushed if he were capable. He settled for
shrugging.
"And if anyone decides to have their head explode again, they
have to pick up the pieces!" Dr. F added his image disappeared from
the screen.....
* * *
DEEP 13
As the screen blinked out. Dr. Forrester turned to his assistant.
"Put the hurt on them, Frank."
"Consider the salt in the wound, Dr. F." Frank replied.
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
Joel took his ISCP off the table and carefully put it away while
Tom and Crow continued to argue about the boundries of their game in
the Holocabana when alarms and sirens suddenly rang out.
"OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!" Joel cried out.
(Door 6: It splits into six long strips that retract into the doorframe.)
(Door 5: It's a steel door. A wheel in it's center turns and it opens.)
(Door 4: It falls towards you, missing your foot by millimeters.)
(Door 3: It's a revolving glass door.)
(Door 2. It's made of bees. They fly away as you approach.)
(Door 1: It swirls open from the center.)
(Door .7: The camera pans downward where a small hatch pops open.)
Joel walks into the theater with Tom in his arms, Crow
following close behind. Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom
from entering the theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of
the theater seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right.
SAILOR JUPITER
>V.S.
GODZILLA
THE BIGGER THEY ARE....
Crow: The longer the title?
Tom: The harder it is to fit through doorways....
Joel: It's not the size that counts.....
*********************************************************
Tom: What is it with this obsession fanfic writers have with using snowflakes
at the beginning and end of their fanfics?
Joel: Maybe they all live in Barbados?
Crow: (singing) Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow....
Hi! Flashman here
Crow: (singing) They call him FLASH, FLASH, FLASH, FLASH,
FLASH....BEAGLE!
Joel: Let's hope this fanfic isn't a flash in the pan....
Tom: He's a maniac! Maniac!
to bring you the mismatch of the century. We're
talkin' MAJOR mismatch here.
Crow: Spiderman Vs. Superman?
Tom: Gosunkugi Vs. Shampoo?
Joel: Catkiller Vs The FFML?
First of all, I will be using the new Godzilla timeline to tell this story.
(Godzilla 85 to Godzilla V.S. Detroyer)
Joel: So this takes place before *King Kong Lives* or after *Guyver: Dark
Hero?*
Tom: That's the great thing about godzilla films, it's not the time line,
dubbing, special effects or plot that makes them so great, it's the
ambiance.
Crow: That's deep, Tom.
One word of warning if your not a Sailor Jupiter fan,
Tom: Tough.
like my first FanFic "Personality Split"
Crow: Hey, this guy must be related to Roy Rim!
none of the other Sailors will be here.
Crow: Awww! They snubbed the Sailor Senshi Venus 5 again?
This story will have Mako and Mako alone.
Crow: Mako!
Tom: Pluto!
Crow: Mako!
Tom: Pluto!
If you have any suggestions, any comments on stuff I've got posted
already, any complaints, please, Please, PLEASE, E-Mail me
Tom: Geez, you think he's lonesome tonight?
Crow: (sobbing) S....Somebody talk to me....for the love of god!
Joel: Say, please....
at MXJK67C@Prodigy.com.
All: (sung to the tune of Mickey Mouse) MXJ....K67....@Prodigy.com....
Legal things: Godzilla is the trademark of Toho Studios. Sailor Jupiter is
the property of Naoko Takeuchi. On With The Show!!!
All: (singing) Why don't we get things started....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Crow: Dashes. 76 of them.
Tom: Must be 110 spaces right behind.
Joel: (singing) Trouble with a capital T, which rhymes with G, and
that stands for Godzilla!
(As our story opens we see the city of Tokyo.
Joel: Is it day or night?
Crow: Day for night, I think....
Tom: (monotone voice) This is the city....
Suddenly, the loud, whinning, unmistakable sound
Joel: C-ko?
Crow: Usagi?
Tom: Soun?
Joel: Urkel?
Crow: Princess Vi?
Tom: Chibi-usa?
of an evacuation siren goes off. Also we can hear someone
over some kind of P.A. system saying.....)
Tom: (imitating P.A.) This is the principal. Would anyone who
knows the identity of the person who pulled the fire alarm for the
billionth time, please turn his ass in for a $50 reward so we
may give him a severe beating. That is all.
Crow: (imitating P.A.) To all members of the procrastinators club.
Today's meeting has been canceled due to lack of interest. Thank you.
Joel: (imitating P.A.) Will the owner of a 1994 Ranma 1/2 lemon fanfic,
"Okonomiyaki Orgy" please come down to the FFML to pick up your
C&C....
VOICE: Evacuate imediatly! Godzilla has been sighted in the Tokyo
Bay area and is moving towards the city! Evacuate in a clam
Crow: (whining) But it's too clammy in there!
Tom: What about Pearl? We can't just leave her behind!
Joel: Oh, clam up you clowns!
and orderly fashion! Do not panic!
Tom: Do not be alarmed when Godzilla approaches you. Ignore his
footsteps as he comes closer, shrug off your doubts when he breathes
fire at you, put on a happy face when you're a pile of goo on the bottom
of his pinkie....
(Naturaly, everybody IS panicing.
Joel: Naturally.
People grab bags, fill cardboard boxes with momentos they can't part
with,
Crow: It's the L.A. Riots all over again!
Tom: (imitating Princess Vespa) It's my industrial strength hair-dryer....
AND I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT!!!
Joel: Quick! I've got to find my brown paper packages tied up with
string! They are a few of my favorite things!
grab children by the arms,
Joel: Oh, they're arming themselves....
Crow: Talk about a call to arms....
Tom: Isn't that armful to the kiddies?
Crow: What about those poor children that have no arms. They'll be left
behind....
Joel: Ah, what's the arm?
and run, get on trains, planes, and automobiles,
Tom: Meeting up with John Candy and Steve Martin....
and generaly do whatever it takes to get out of the city before the giant
bohemoth arives.)
Tom: Never mind the giant bohemoth! What about Godzilla?
(However, the scean focuses on an apartment complex and one
apartment in particular.
Joel: 222?
Tom: Ikkoku-kan?
Crow: 3-G?
In this apartment we see a tall, green eyed, brown ponytailed,
girl. Her name is MAKOTO.
Tom: They call her ma ma ma ma Makoto!
Joel: Man, that Makoto is one bad....
Tom and Crow: Shut your mouth!
Joel: Hey I'm just talking about Makoto, can you dig it?
At this time she is furiously packing bags and mutttering words
under her breath which are not fit for print.....)
Tom: So they're incomprehensible?
Makoto:(VERY angrily)[Unprintable] [Unprintable] [Unprintable] [Unprintable]
monster, [Unprintable] [Unprintable] [Unprintable], why'd it have to come
here?!?
Crow: Allow me to fill in the blanks....
Joel: Careful, Crow....
Crow: *Ahem* Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid monster, Stupid,
Stupid, Stupid, why'd it have to come here?!?
Joel: Somehow I expected more....
Tom: *Makoto swore to herself* would have been much simpler.
(Mako finishes packing and grabs her bags.
Crow: WHAT?!?!
Joel: Not *those* kind of bags, Crow.
Crow: Whew! Much relief!
Two duffle bags on each arm, a suitcase in each hand, another duffle
bag around her neck, and another clenched firmly in her teeth.)
Tom: Whew! I'm all finish.....Oh no! Where did I put my wand?
Joel: Tom....
Crow: When fleeing from a big green lizard, always travel light....
Makoto:(Thinking) I would much prefer to fight this thing than run away, but
Luna says that, "To destroy Godzilla would take more energy than it did to
destroy Queen Metallia... and you know how much THAT took."
Tom: Yeah, it took a sappy, long winded song, a colorful light show and
a crescent moon wand with a cubic zirconium gem.
Joel: The battles in Sailor Moon are repetitive, aren't they?
Tom: Sailor Moon has nothing on Drag-on Ball.
Crow: WHAT?! Dragon Ball's battles are way better!
Tom: Says you.
Joel: Guys....
I sure do Luna,
Joel: Is Luna in the room with her?
Tom: I think she's talking to herself....
Crow: The mind snaps when confronted with Godzilla.
it's a moot point anyway since Usagis father decided
that they should leave a week earlier. I guess his parinoia paid off
for a change.
Tom: So Usagi's father advises the scouts?
Crow: I'd be paranoid too if my 14 year old daughter was dating a
college student....
Joel: He must have seen "She's Out Of Control" about 50 times now....
(Makoto rushes out the door with her bags whipping in all directions.
Crow: Cool! S&M with tote bags!
Joel: Crow....
Tom: (singing) Whip it....Whip it good....
As she reaches the street she sees a large contingiant of tanks, jeeps,
Joel: Check it out, the author's trying to use a vocabulary word.
vehicles with large devices that look like satalite dishes on top
Crow: I'll bet they get the Sci-Fi Channel!
Joel: While they're fleeing for their lives, they can watch reruns of
Momma's Family....
Tom: Ewww....
[Mazer Tanks], jet planes, and all sorts of military hardware moving to
face Godzilla. Loud explosions can be heard comming from the Bay
area.)
Tom: Oh, they must have had baked beans for lunch.
Crow: Either that or they're listening to the 1812 Overture.
Makoto:(Thinking) Good luck you guys, you're going to need it.
Tom: Heh heh heh....suckers.
Joel: Hey, I'm a sailor senshi, I don't do mutated lizards.
(Now we see GODZILLA himself.
Tom: The Lizard, The Myth, The Legend.....
He is swiming in the bay, approching the city rapidly. He is not
unopposed though, the Japanese navy is dumping everything
they've got at him.
Crow: Okay, you fiend, let's see how you handle the *Turd* battalion!
Joel: Crow....
The ships and helicopters are firing shells, rockets, torpedos, and
bullets. They all explode against Godzilla's reptilian skin,
causing absolutly no damage.
Tom: Where's Lo Wang when you need him?
He roars in anger at the foolish little mites who think they can hurt
him.
Tom: (imitating Godzilla) You aren't *mighty* enough to hurt me!
Joel: I'm sure he's hOWLing with laughter.
He rears back his head and then shoots it forward
Crow: Cool! He's modular!
releasing his patented burst of blue flame.
Tom: Blue Flame (C) by Toho, All Rights Reserved....
Crow: Godzilla must have some pretty big matches to light a fart that
big....
Everything in its path is obliterated and Godzilla roars in triumph as
he continues his march to Tokyo.)
Crow: (singing) The mutant comes marching step by step, Hurrah....Hurrah....
Solider1:(Watching from nearby and putting down a pair of binoculars as he
turns toward his friend, SOLIDER2)
Tom: I'll bet they were beaten up a lot in grade school....
Crow: They're either a new wrestling team or a new children's show.
Joel: (Singing) Bananas in pajamas....are coming down the stairs....
Crow: Now who's the hentai.
Did you see THAT?!?
Tom: Huh? Oh, sorry, I was trimming my nails. Did something happen?
Solider2:(Nods nervously) Yeah.
Solider1: Afraid?
Tom: Of course I am, you idiot! With names like Solider 1 and 2, how
much do you think our life is worth?
Crow: Scared? Not at all! I'm just losing control of my bodily functions
because I feel like it.
Solider2:(Laughs nervously) Terrified.
Solider1:(Pats a Sailor Moon braclet on his right wrist.) Don't be. You
forget we have the Sailor Senshi on our side.
Crow: (imitating Solider 1) Yep, as long as we stay strong and buy tons
of Sailor Moon merchandise like this bracelet, we'll live a long and
happy life.
Tom: Proof of a happier life through fanfiction....
Solider2: I never thought that you'd believe in THAT myth.
Crow: Yeah, live in the real world, like Godzilla!
Solider1: I tell ya they're real.
Joel: As sure as my name is Solider 1, the sailor senshi are out there!
Crow: (hums the theme to the X-files)
Tom: This fanfic is out there....
Solider2: Man, if they were, do you think they would be able to go
anywhere without getting mobbed. I mean there all babes, especialy
Sailor Jupiter.
Tom: Yeah, I'm sure it's Makoto's dream to be admired by the
unknown solider.
Crow: (imitating Makoto) My mother told me never to hang around
army privates....
Joel: Something tells me I should be scolding you for that....
Voice of a General:(Yelling) YOU TWO! BACK TO YOUR
REGIMENTS! BE PREPAIRED TO MOVE TO POSSITION
DELTA!
Joel: (looks around for the source of the voice)
Tom: (imitating General) POSITION ALPHA, BETA, AND GAMMA
ARE BEING GUARDED BY THE IMPORTANT SOLDIERS SO HAUL
YOUR EXPENDABLE ASSES OVER TO DELTA, NOW MISTER!!!
Crow: Ah, the general's all talk.
Both Soliders: Yes Sir!
Joel: Whatever you say, General Casper, sir!
(Back to Makoto. We now see her running through the streets. It's quite
obvious that she's lost.)
Crow: (imitating Makoto) I can't understand it! That cute boy with the
yellow and black bandanna said the exit was this way....
Mako:(Thinking and looking left)
Crow: Yeah, but can she rub her tummy and pat her head at the same
time?
Maybe it's this way. (Looking right) ...or maybe that way.
Joel: All roads lead to roam.
Crow: Nice pun!
Tom: (singing) I've been walking these streets so long...
(Looking forward) Oh, I'm never going to find my way out of
the city to the evacuation center.
Tom: Here's some advice. Look for something that somewhat resembles
the Jolly Green Giant and then run *away* from it.
(Loud, rythmic booming sounds, like footsteps, along with screaming
is heard.
Crow: It's the remake of Breakin 2: Electric Bugaloo!
Joel: No, it's STOMP on their world tour!
Tom: (singing) Giant steps are what you take....
Makoto looks in the direction of the sounds and her eyes go wide.
Tom: Hey, there's some 501's on sale at the Gap!
Joel: Wow! They're showing anime films at the Cineplex!
Crow: (imitating Makoto) Now's THERE'S a guy that looks like my
old boyfriend!
She gets a first-person view of the King Of The Monsters
Crow: Wasn't that a game for Super Nintendo?
Tom: Woah Nelly! That's the second biggest mutated lizard I've ever
seen!
Joel: Good thing this fic is from a third person perspective or Makoto
would really be up the creek.
crashing through the streets. She also sees that Godzilla is about to
step on a bunch of frightened children who are hidding under a large
cardboard box.)
Crow: Aw, let them die if they're stupid enough to think a cardboard
box will protect them!
Joel: That's not nice, Crow....
Tom: Robert Miles is not amused.
Mako:(Thinking) Oh My GOD!
Joel: ....ess?
Crow and Tom: It's Megami-Sama, Joel!
Joel: Oh, bite me.
I've got to do something. (Shouting) MUPHEPER FAR FOUMER!
MAFE PUP!
Tom: I get it! She'll speak german so Godzilla will think he's
attacking the wrong city! Brilliant!
Crow: UPHEPERMAY ARFAY OUMERFAY AFEMAY UPPAY!!!
Joel: That's pretty lame, Crow.
Crow: Itebay emay.
(Spits the duffle bag strap out of her mouth and drops all
of her other bags.)
Tom: You know what... I truly thought she was actually speaking a
different language. I completely forgot that she had something in her
mouth....
Crow: Yeah, imagine all the possibilities.
Joel: Crow...
Lets try that again. JUPITER STAR POWER! MAKE UP!
Crow: (Imitating Makoto) Don't worry kids! I'll be with you as soon
as my 10 second transformation sequence is finished!
Tom: Too bad they only show an outline of her nude body or Godzilla
might be distracted long enough for the kids to run.
Joel: This isn't Venus 5, Tom....
(Makoto transforms into SAILOR JUPITER. The symbol on her
transfomation pen spins and she is surrounded by lightning.
Joel: Eat your heart out, Raiden!
Then the lightning bends over her
body and turns into a sailor uniform with a green dress and a large
green bow on her chest.)
Tom: Hey, Sailor Jupiter and Godzilla are color coordinated!
Joel: (singing) It's not easy being green....
Sailor Jupiter:(Jumps onto a nearby roof and aims at Godzilla)
SUPREME THUNDER!!!
All: (singing) Thunder! Na na na na na na na na....
(A lightning rod pops out of her tiara and a large bolt of lightning
comes down from the sky.
Tom: Lightning bolts provided by Zeus Inc. Their rates are so
reasonable, it's a real shocker.
The lightning connects with the rod and Jupiter directs it through her
body and at Godzilla.
Crow: I've always wondered if Lum and Makoto ever swapped trade
secrets....
The lightning hits Godzilla and he turns toward Jupiter in anger at the
little creature who actually thinks that it can hurt him.)
Joel: Looks like she sparked his interest....
Jupiter: Come on Big Boy, follow me! SPARKLING WIDE
PRESSURE!!!
Crow: What the heck does that mean anyway?
Tom: Ummm....You're guess is as good as mine.
Crow: Maybe she sticks a firecracker up her....
Joel: CROW!
Crow: ....nose.
(A concentrated ball of electricity forms in Jupiters hands and she
flings it at Godzilla. Godzilla raises a hand to block the ball
Tom: (imitating whistle) Hey, no goal tending, Godzilla!
and it explodes against his outstretched palm.
Crow: Denied!
He roars in pain as the blow actually succedes in stinging him. Naturaly,
Jupiter has no problem getting Godzilla to follow her now. Just to make
sure, she periodically fires bursts of lightning at him as she leaps from
roof to roof.)
Jupiter:(Her confidence growing) Hey, I might be able to beat this guy after
all. You know what they say, "The bigger they are...."
Tom: The worse they smell when they die.
(Godzilla's back spikes begin to glow. He opens his mouth and lets out a
large stream of blue fire. The fire obliterates the roof, along with the rest
of the building,
Joel: (singing) To everything, burn, burn, burn....
Jupiter is on and she gracefully leaps [o.k., o.k. she
actualy gets blown head over heals] off the roof and lands face first
in a pile of rubble on the street.)
Tom: Jupiter didn't realize the gravity of her situation....
Crow: Nice form! I give her a 6.7!
Joel: Suck up....
Jupiter:(Grogily)".....the more stuff they break."
(Jupiter looks up and wipes away blood that drips from a small gash
on her forehead.
Crow: I ain't got time to bleed....
She sees that even though the attack started only about an hour
ago, Godzilla has already decimated a good portion of the city.
Tom: That's a politically correct way of putting it....
Joel: He came, he saw, he deep fried.
Crow: Emerge, Lay waste, Submerge, Repeat. Emerge, Lay waste,
Submerge, Repeat....
The landscape in front of her is a mural of collapsed and burning
buildings. She hears Godzilla's ear spliting roar and flips over on her
back and looks up. She sees Godzilla rear back his head and she rolls
for her life.
All: (singing) Rolling....Rolling....Rolling....Keep them Senshi rolling....
Crow: We're on a roll, folks!
The stream of blue flame misses her enough where it doesn't kill her
but it does hit her in the arm and she screams in pain as it gives her
third degree burns.
Tom: Next time....on....Emergency....911
Now Godzilla is about to step on her.)
Jupiter:(Cringing) Oh Man! What a lousy way to go!
Joel: Yeah, being killed by a youma would be a much more honorable
death.
(Just as Godzilla is about to put his foot down,
Tom: (imitating Godzilla) That's it! I'm tired of playing second fiddle
to a puny sailor girl. Get my agent on the phone!
jet fighters shoot a volly of missles at him and hit him square in the
back. The force of the blast sends Godzilla a few crucial inches
forward and his foot misses Jupiter by mear inches.
Tom: Missed her by THAT much!
Crow: If his foot missed her by inches, does that mean his toenails
missed her by millimeters.
Tom: Only if he trimmed them.
Joel: Okay guys, let's get back to the fanfic....
Crow: Uh oh! Now Joel's putting his foot down!
Joel: (groans)
Her body flops out from the wind blast, but for some reason she
doesn't go flying off.
Jupiter: That was too close. (Trys to get up.) Hey, what's going on? I
can't get up.
Joel: She would be perfect as the new spokesmodel for medic alert.
Tom: I know what the problem is. She seems to have one foot in her
grave already.
(Meanwhile, the military has arived and is firing everything it's got at an
angry Godzilla. Tanks fire their shells, soliders fire bazookas, Mazer Tanks
fire their blue energy beams.
Joel: We'll start with the blue beams and if that doesn't work, we're
prepared to try every color in the rainbow if necessary!
More squadrons of jets arive and fire their missles. A soilder runs
over and we see that it's Solider2 from before.)
Solider2:(Kneels next to Jupiter) Are you alright?
Jupiter: Yeah, but I can't move.
Solider2: Why not?
Tom: I'm in check.
Jupiter:(Face flushed with embaresment) Godzilla's... uh... he's
standing on my ponytail.
Solider2:(Draws his survival knife) Then I guess it's time for a haircut.
(S2 uses his knife and cuts Jupiter's ponytail near Godzilla's foot. Then
he helps her to her feet.)
Joel: I don't know about you guys but they could shave all of Makoto's
hair and I'll STILL envision her with the same pony tail hair style.
Crow: (imitating Makoto) You idiot! I asked for the Larry Fine, not
the Sinead O' Conner!!
S2: I'm disobaying orders trying to rescue you, so let's get out of the
line of fire.
SJ: Fine by me. (Thinking) What a HUNK!!!
Joel: A hunk of what?
Tom: (Elvis imitation) A hunk-a, hunk-a, burning Grunt....
Crow: The senshi formally known as Jupiter and the solider formally
known as 2 will now be played by SJ and S2 respectively.
(The two of them run away from Godzilla as the military continues
to fire. They ocasionally swerve to avoid stray shots that miss their
targets.
Joel: Hey, they're faster than a speeding bullet!
Crow: Super!
Tom: KNEEL BEFORE GOD....ZILLA.
One shot blasts the two of them into the air
Joel: Jeffery Wong in a cameo role....
and SJ grabs S2 and carries him further.)
S2:(Shocked) Hey! How are you.... Hey wait a minute! Your Sailor
Jupiter!
Tom: No, I'm SJ!
Joel: Hey guys! S2 is shocked because he's meeting Sailor Jupiter!
Crow: So?
Joel: Shocked....you know....Jupiter's powers.....S2 is shocked from
meeting....Oh, forget it.
I thought you ladies were just a myth.
SJ:(amused) Do I look like a myth?
Tom: No, you look like a sexual fantasy of men with LoLITA
complexes....
Joel: Tom....
S2: Definatly not. (Thinking) Doesn't FEEL like one either.
Crow: SAILOR JUPITER HAS IMPLANTS!?!?! SAY IT ISN'T SO!!!
Tom: It isn't so.
Crow: Thanks.
Joel: (singing) Feelings....Nothing more than feelings....
(Finally Godzilla has had enough. Instead of his regular burst of flame,
his fire comes only a few inches out of his mouth.
Joel: (singing) The passion is gone and the flames died down....
Tom: The last thing we need is another flamewar....
This encourages the military and they fire with more intensity.
Tom: (imitating an intense Captain Kirk) FIRE....
However, it seems the flame was just a signal that the big G was
powering up a more powerful attack. Beams of light shoot from his
form and one big burst of white light fires out in all directions from
his body.
Tom: Do you see the light?
Joel: The band....THE BAND!
Tom: Do you see the light?
Joel: Yes! Yes! I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!
Crow: They're on a mission from God....zilla.
The Nucular Pulse Blast spreads out and SJ and S2 [Who SJ has put
down] watch as the Blast destroys every last military vehicle in sight.
Tom: Meanwhile, the military vehicles that *were* out of sight weren't
stupid enough to get any closer.
They also notice that the Pulse Blast is aproching rapidly. S2
trips and falls to the ground.)
Jupiter:(Stops running) Hang on! I'll carry you.
Solider2:(Waves her off) No time. My legs busted. Get going.
(Pushes her away hard)
Joel: I said get going and I meant it!
Tom: (imitating Solider 2) We'll always have....uh....well, I'll always
have that cheap feel I copped from you.
The names Michles...(smiles) it was nice knowing you
Crow: Michles?
Tom: Michele....Micheal....?
Joel: Wait, it's MITCHELL!
Tom: So S2 was Joe Don Baker the whole time!
Crow: Wait a minute, Joel! We haven't seen Mitchell yet! How can
we know about him?
Joel: It's a fanfic. You should really just relax.
(The Pulse Blast hits Michles and he screams in pain as he is obliterated.)
Crow: Farewell to thee, Mitchell.
Tom: What will his momma say?
Joel: I guess that means Solider 1 was John Saxon....
Jupiter: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I-I just met him.
(The Blast convinently fades as it's mere centimeters from Jupiter. Godzilla
sees the little mite in green and a dim memory of a being like that trying to
hurt him flashes through his mind. He decides to destroy this little problem
once and for all. The chase continues to the docks and Jupiter is more than
a little distrested.)
Jupiter:(Hysterical) I just met him. I just met him. I just met him. THAT
DOES IT!!! OKAY YOU BIG GREEN ASSHOLE!!! THIS IS IT!!!
FINAL SHOWDOW!!!
Crow: It's the big showdow at the O. Corral!
Tom: (singing) It's the final showdown....da da da da....da da da da da....
(Jupiter turns to face Godzilla and crosses her arm across her chest.
Joel: I pledge allegiance to the flag....
The giant saurian growls.)
Jupiter:(Concentrating) Oh great and mighty Jupiter, I call for you to
give me all the power you command to help me destroy this evil being
that stands before me.
Tom: Beep Beep Beep....We're sorry....All of our lines to Jupiter are
busy right now. Please stay on the line as we numb your mind with
elevator music....
SUPREME THUNDER DRAGON BINDER!!!!!!
Crow: Binder?
Joel: Oh yeah, those things can really hurt you when you catch your
fingers in the rings....
(Gigantic bolts of electricity form into a gigantic dragon, it flys toward
Godzilla and wraps around him. Then it explodes and the ground
Godzilla is standing on is atomized. He is knocked backwards into
the sea and goes under the waves, out of sight.)
Crow: (imitating Makoto) I kick ass for the FANS!
Tom: (whistles) Talk about Divine Retribution....
Joel: Is Davey's Jones Locker wide enough for Godzilla?
Jupiter:(Obviously exausted and in great pain) I-I g-g-got h-h-him.
Tom: And developed a stuttering problem.
Joel: Tom....
(Her power exaused she turns back into her normal self. As soon as
she does Godzilla rises out of the sea and roars. He looks none the
worse for wear.)
Crow: How much worse could a 50 foot lizard with heartburn get?
Tom: (imitating Godzilla) Pulling it together....Sucking it in....
Makoto:(Eyes wide in shock) No. It can't be.
(Godzilla stands and looks at the city. The one he is searching for is no
longer there, so the city holds no more interest for him and he decides to
swim for home.)
Tom: That was needlessly cryptic.
Crow: I'd be peeing my pants if I wore any.
Joel: Crow....
Mako: He's leaving? (Laughs hystericaly) That's right, run away! Ha, Ha!
All: RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
Crow: You silly lizard! I empty my nostril in your general direction!
(Mako faints dead away from the pain in her arm and exaustion. She
awakens an unditermined time later in a hospital bed.
Tom: Joel, how long is an unditermined amount of time?
Joel: Long enough to attribute her awakening to the fact that she hasn't
died yet.
She looks around and sees LUNA, a little black cat with a gold cresent
moon mark on her head, standing on her chest.)
Tom: Oh that's a relief. I thought it was Luna Vachon.
Crow: Or the Luna from Eternal Blue.
Joel: That's LUNAR, Crow.
Crow: My mistake.
Luna:(Very worried) Makoto are you all right?
Mako:(Weakly) Yeah. How'd you get in here?
Joel: (imitating Luna) Well, Mars and Mercury wanted too much
money, Moon was on a date with Tuxedo Mask, Venus has a previous
commitment in another lemon and Artemis is suing Oscar for
defamation of character....
Luna: I snuck in the window. Usagi and the others are in the waiting
room. (Sounding angry) I WARNED you not to fight Godzilla, but
would you listen to me? Noooo. You're getting as bad as Usagi.
Joel: Nag nag nag....Get off my back, already!
Crow: You're not my mother!
Tom: That darn cat....Scat, darn cat!
(Gestures at Makos arm) Do you know how lucky you are that you
didn't get radiation poisoning from this?!! (Grows worried again as
Mako groans)
Crow: (imitating Makoto) Leave me alone! I just lost another substitute
for my old boyfriend and I'm going through a lot of pain right....say....
that male orderly that passed by looks a lot like him....
Are you really all right? You did good you know. You won.
All: FOR NOW....
(Makoto looks out the window, runs her hands over her cut ponytail
and remembers Michals and the disinterested and disapointed look
she would swear to her grave she saw on Godzillas face as he turned to
leave.
Tom: (imitates Godzilla) First that pig-tailed kid and now this! Who's
next? Hello Kitty?!?
She sighs.)
Makoto: Did I?
All: (hum suspenseful music)
And on that chearful note.......
THE
END
********************************************************
Tom: (singing) Snow....Snow....Beautiful Snow....
Crow: Well, this fanfic was a walk in the park compared to the last two.
Joel: Better not let Dr. F hear that or we'll be reading Artemis's Lover
II in no time.
Crow: (shudders) Don't worry. I won't.
Well, that's that. Hope you enjoyed it. I've always wanted to write
something with Godzilla in it. Now that this is out of my system, I'll go
back to finishing Endworld: Moon Run. Hang in there, I've only got a few
chapters left. See you then!
May The Spirit Preserve You.
Crow: Hey, he must be from St. Louis!
Tom: Or a Samurai.
Joel: The Samurai from St. Louis. Sounds like a MSTable fic to me!
Tom: Let's go create it in the Holocabana!
Crow: Cool!
* * *
DEEP 13
As Joel and the bots left the theater, Dr. Forrester rubbed his
hands together and softly chuckled to himself.
"You may think I'm getting soft, Joel, but sooner or later I'm
going to find the ultimate fanfic to bring you to your knees. Maybe
not this one, maybe not the next one, but soon....
"Dr. F?" Frank's voice called out.
"What is it, Frank?" Dr. Forrester asked in an annoyed voice.
"I think your invention's malfunctioning...."
"WHAT?!?" Dr. Forrester shoved Frank out of the way to
get a better look and gasped in horror.
"That isn't....Don't tell me...." Dr. Forrester stammered.
"I think it's a episode of Momma's Family...." Frank finished
for him.
"Turn it off! That T.V's meant for the world! Not us!" Dr.
Forrester snapped.
"I've been trying but....well...." Frank hesitated nervously.
"But what, Frank!" Dr. Forrester's voice was low and
dangerous.
"The knob's stuck." Frank finished sheepishly.
"Well, where's the remote control!" Dr. Forrester asked.
"I....um....misplaced it."
Dr. Forrester grabbed Frank by his collar, his voice low and
dangerous. "Well I suggest you find it NOW or perhaps you would
like to join Joel on the Satellite of Love? Hmm? I think I could
modify the *umbiliport* to squeeze you in...."
Frank's eyes widened with horror as he frantically began
searching for the aforementioned remoter control. "You just have to
know how to motivate them...." He thought to himself. Then he
remembered the button and seeing Frank was busy decided to push it
himself.
THE REAL END.
(Feel free to hum the closing theme as you read my author's notes.)
My third MSTing is complete, I can't believe I managed to finish it in
a week! I think I'll finish Part 2 of "Past Encounters" before I do the
next one....
I'd like to once again thank Timothy McLees for being nice
enough to post my MSTings on his webpage and Flashman for sending
me this fanfic to MST and being a good sport about it. ;)
I'd like to especially thank Jeffery "Oneshot" Wong, whom, without
his help and C&C, I wouldn't have been able to finish this MSTing.
He took time out to help me and I can't thank him enough.
My next MSTing has yet to be chosen. If you have a fanfic that you
would like to see MSTed, lemon or otherwise, feel free to send it to
me, I'll be sure to give you due credit. :)
C&C is welcome, as always.
Sincerely,
Megane 6.7
The Official Homepage of Jeffery "Oneshot" Wong
http://www.isc.rit.edu/~jkw7063/fanfic/#sailor moon
100% Anime Fanfiction
http://www.smoky.org/~cberg/fanfics/
Tenchi's Realm O'MSTings
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Hills/9867/MSTings.html
Zen's Fanfiction Page
http://www.mindspring.com/~databank/fanfics.html
"Makoto:(VERY angrily)[Unprintable] [Unprintable] [Unprintable]
[Unprintable] monster, [Unprintable] [Unprintable] [Unprintable],
why'd it have to come here?!?"
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights
reserved.
Keep Circulating the Fanfics....
