* * * * *
In Dome City II a very bad thing was happening.
MIKE: DIC was redubbing BGC?
BOTS: Noooo!
"Torek, do you have the
schematics?"
"Yes, Mi' Lady. They are right here," he said over the Com in his quarters.
TOM: Come and get 'em!
CROW: So, he contracts 'my lady' and leaves 'they are' alone?
"Good. I'll send my daughter to get them later at the docking bay. Be
ready," a woman's commanding voice ordered.
MIKE: She'll be wearing a trenchcoat, fishnet stockings, and a smile.
The Com clicked off. Torek put the pad down on the table. He suddenly shook
his head with dizziness. "Why is it so dark in here?"
CROW: Perhaps because the lights are off?
He turned the lights
on. Torek had forgotten the conversation already.
TOM: Oh, those forgetful Vulcan clones!
CROW: Parts: The Vulcan Horror.
He wondered how he had
gotten to his room.
MIKE: I'm guessing mass transit.
* * *
Meanwhile, in the Wing Command Center,
ALL: Noooo!
TOM: Wing Command too? What's next, EVA?
a place for the Doman Star Fleet, a
warning signal beeped.
CROW: Another crossover coming in. Evasive action.
"Sir, multiple unknown fighters coming off port bough. There's 14 of them,
heavily armed."
MIKE: Ramos honey, it's a bit late to introduce an actual plot.
"What? On screen." On the big screen at the head of the large room,
TOM: Which held no-one of interest.
a piece
of outer space appeared.
CROW: Okay, who wants some outer space?
TOM & MIKE: I do!
"Magnify." It did and showed 14 Inter-galactic
fighter ships in some kind of attack formation. "ETA?"
TOM: No, E*V*A. Neo Genesis Evangelion.
"Twenty minutes until they reach Dome City II at Warp 6."
"I'm not trained for this. Get the Prince in D24.
CROW: Hit.
We don't want to risk a
soul and he's the best at negotiations."
MIKE: He walks loudly and carries a small twig.
TOM: Nice analogy, Minako.
"Iye sir."
CROW: Iiiiie!
MIKE: No means no.
* * * * *
Wesley was on the couch next to Vanessa. He was leaning in for a kiss.
Almost there...
CROW: Mike, if this scene doesn't stop right quick, I'm ripping out my eyes.
Beep. Beep. Beep. "Huh?"
TOM: It's a buh...a buh...a buh...
MIKE: It's not a buh. It's a bomb.
Vanessa pulled away from him. "Wesley, it's your Com."
CROW: COMMMMMMM!
MIKE: That's it, I call no more Star Trek II refs.
"Oh no." He tapped on his wrist, and his Com-link appeared. "What is it?"
TOM: You are under arrest for statutory rape and being an overall unappealing character. Report to central casting immediately.
"Sorry to bother you sir. But we have a yellow alert in Wing Command. We're
requesting your presence.
CROW: At the marriage of Ramna Saotome and Akane Tendo. RSVP.
* * * * *
"Oh it's so nice out. Isn't it the perfect day, Darien?"
TOM: Dear God, the fanfic's recycling itself!
CROW: Just once, I want to see a fanfic day that *isn't* perfect.
The two were in
the park again on a date.
"Yeah it's beautiful," he replied to Serena.
Suddenly a shadow passed over them.
MIKE: And Chibi-Usa fell from the sky.
TOM: No, you mean Chibi-Chibi fell from the sky.
They looked up and saw 7 fighters like
the ones in Dimension 6, earlier.
CROW: Whew! If it were five we'd have a possible sentai crossover.
One broke from the attack formation and
came back to loom over Serena and Darien. "What's that?" she cried.
TOM: It's a fighter like the ones in Dimension 6.
"I don't want to know! Ahh!" A tractor beam came over them and started
MIKE: Tractoring them. It was the damndest thing.
lifting them off the ground. It was going to take them aboard!
CROW: Now, if that ship's run by anyone named Rubeus...
Darien took
out his Communicator and pressed it frantically.
CROW: WE NEED VOLTRON!
* * * * *
"Prince Wesley, distress signal coming in. It's from 20th Century Earth in
Dimension 24."
TOM: A 20th Century Fox production.
"On screen." The screen showed a tractor beam pulling two people up slowly.
Darien probably dropped it.
MIKE: What's up with him and his moments?
The two waved their arms. "Help! Help!" they screamed.
CROW: Heaven forbid they transform or something.
"Those are the same fighters as here!" someone exclaimed.
TOM: That's copyright infringement!
"I don't think so. Radar,
<all begin humming the M*A*S*H theme>
send 5 Fox Wings over there. I want those other
fighters taken care of. Sequence 1, 5."
"Iye sir. Fox Wings 1-5 prepare for battle and time-travel.
CROW: Yeah, I'm sure they hold regular time travel drills.
Destination:
TOM: Love!
20th Century Earth. Sequence 1, 5. Chase those bastards into space and bring
MIKE: Some souvenirs. And not those stupid mugs, either. They get old right quick.
them all back here, dead or alive," an officer said over Com.
CROW: Over Com's Dead Body: the D24 story.
"Send 14 Eagle Wings on an intercept course with the aliens. Peace
TOM: Out!
formation, shields up and weapons on stand by. We're gonna see if we can
talk this over."
MIKE: Now precisely who said that?
A young woman said, "Iye sir. Eagle Wings 1-14 lay in an intercept course
CROW: To wackiness!
for the unknown approachers. Peace..."
"Launch Fox Wings, Radar," Wesley ordered.
MIKE: Launch the radar? Don;t you think you're going to need it?
"Iye sir. Fox Wings, launch."
"Acknowledged base. Launching."
"Bay doors opened. Fighters are descending. Time portal open. They're
safely through."
"Good. Eagles launch."
"Iye sir," the woman said. "Eagle Wings launch."
"Acknowledged base. Launching."
"Bay doors opened. Fighters are descending. They're out."
TOM: So, to recap: they're launching?
CROW: That's what it sounds like.
* * * * *
Somewhere above 20th C. Earth, a big portal opened and 5 gray fighters emerged.
MIKE: And were shot down by SDI.
CROW: God bless you, Ronald Reagan.
"Fox 1, Copy."
TOM: I try not to, it's dishonest.
"Fox 2, Copy."
CROW: 10 cents per copy. See the desk for change.
"Fox 3, Copy."
MIKE: Unauthorized copying of this motion picture...
"Fox 4, Copy."
TOM: And paste.
"Fox 5, Copy."
CROW: Rinse, Copy, Repeat.
"We're going in," Fox 1 said. They began to fly into Earth's atmosphere
TOM: And burned up.
toward Tokyo. When they arrived, their cloaks were initiated so people
wouldn't see them.
MIKE: Oh, they have cloaks. How convenient.
TOM: They're fully loaded.
CROW: Yeah, this fanfic's loaded all right...
"Fox 1, this is Fox 2. I'm reading seven alien fighters in the vicinity.
TOM: They have challenged us to a game of tag.
Four of them are tractoring humans. Over."
"I copy. Each of us are going to save the humans.
CROW: Screw the whales.
MIKE: Save the humans. Collect all six billion.
Then we chase 'em into
space. Over."
TOM: Captain Oevre, Mr. Dunne, Mister Dunne, Captain Oevre.
MIKE: Dunne, Oevre.
CROW: Oevre, Dunne.
"We copy. Over." Four of the fighter plane-like ships separated and went to
four points of the city. One stayed behind to monitor the situation.
TOM: Juuban News at Ten! Now with advanced superdimensional traffic reporting!
* * *
"Let go of me, you hunk a junk!" Raye screamed.
MIKE: Yuuichirou turns to the dark side...
CROW: <Grandpa> Yuu...I *am* your father.
'If only I could transform,
then I'd blast this thing! But I can't even access my powers!'
TOM: For whatever obscure reason.
CROW: I think we *did* get a reason.
TOM: Well, after a couple hours your mind starts to go.
she thought
as a fighter slowly took her. A blast came and hit the fighter plane, making
it release Raye, and letting her fall from ten feet off the ground.
MIKE: Looking at that scene, I can only say: Ratliffian.
The bad guy began to back away. But then it paused and seemed to change its
TOM: Diaper.
mind. A large laser cannon came out of its front and fired several red beams
CROW: Slight discharges, blood in ur-
<Mike doubles over and clutches his area>
at its new target. The one who saved the Shinto priestess
MIKE: Instantly regretted it.
flew towards the
sky, the alien close behind.
"Ow. What was that all about?" she asked herself.
TOM: Search me.
* * *
Mina was almost inside of the ship tractoring her. Not many people cared to
watch the sight and left.
CROW: Juuban folk are a lot like New Yorkers in that respect.
TOM: Um, *we* don't care. Can we leave?
A blue fireball shot from another fighter and
impacted onto its side. The alien's ship was immediately destroyed with a
MIKE: -sound and fury.
blast of colors. Mina was four feet off the ground when a different tractor
beam caught her. It slowly let her to the concrete.
TOM: Hey! Raye falls ten feet but Mina gets a powered landing from four?
Then her savior picked up the debris of the other ship and quickly left.
Mina was dumbfounded.
CROW: As usual.
* * *
Amy's mother watched in horror as her daughter was precociously being
CROW: Precociously?
MIKE: That tractor beam! It's such a scamp! <chuckles>
picked up. The blue light of the tractor beam made her shimmer in the light.
TOM: <singing, a hair less than falsetto> Kiss the Starlight, Kiss the Moonlight...
All of a sudden, another aircraft came to her rescue.
TOM: Nexton...Rescue...911!
Mrs. Anderson fainted
with a sigh.
MIKE: And she calls herself a doctor?
CROW: No, dozens of fanfic writers do.
Amy was dropped to the ground as her capturer fled the seen.
TOM: And the Unseen.
MIKE: <Usagi> Look, I got this green stuff all over your shirt, Rei! Let's go in the bathroom and clean it off!
CROW: Mike! Quoting from a lemon!
MIKE: Well, it was better than anything Oscar would write...
TOM: Mike-kun, *anything* would be better than Oscar.
The good guy soon gave chase.
<all start humming the Benny Hill theme>
* * *
Darien and Serena were not so fortunate. They were taken aboard and the
CROW: <singing> We're expecting you...
ALL: <same> The Death Boat, soon we'll be making another run!
ship was quickly leaving the area. When they entered, they saw something
TOM: Matter.
CROW: My God! Matter!
sitting in a chair a few feet in front of them. The being turned around and
showed its yucky alien face.
MIKE: For a description, send $19.95 to the address at the end of this fanfic. Thank you for participating in our Shareware Fanfic Program.
Outside, "Fox 1, I found one of 'em. But it has two humans on board.
CROW: And they're nekkid!
TOM: This isn't #200...
MIKE: ...and that was only Usagi.
Requesting orders. Should I shoot? Over." Fox 4 asked.
TOM: "Roger, Fox 4, shoot first, ask questions later. Over."
"Negative. Whatever you do, don't shoot. We can change this world's time
CROW: Pardon, but you crossed over into this dimension for whatever the hell reason it was already. I think the time to worry about polluting the timestream is past.
line if those humans die. What's it doing? Over."
TOM: Uh, it's like flying n' stuff.
"Heading into space at impulse. No cloak. Over."
MIKE: No cap, either. It has a mantle and umbrella, and that's it.
"Follow it. Keep your cover. And transport those people out if you can. Over."
CROW: Should I bother ask what they're doing with transporter technology?
TOM: Nothing, until Ramos decided to throw them in as a plot device.
"Uh, sir. You must remember, my transporters are down from the last battle.
Over."
"Shoot. Track its portal. Over."
TOM: Over? How do you over, over?
"Yes, sir." The fighter followed the alien into space, careful not to let
it detect him.
MIKE: I'd think that a cloaking device would simplify that a bit.
A purple beam shot forth and a portal opened. The good guy
CROW: <Ken Harrelson> Hit one out to left, and you can put it on the boooooard...YES!
scanned it and recorded the information. The other disappeared into it
before he knew it.
TOM: Roger, we have pronoun overload, over!
* * * * *
"Prince Wesley. Fox fighters are reporting in."
MIKE: A History of the Second Sailor Wars, by Michael Nelson.
CROW: Enough with the Orion plugs, Mike.
"Okay, later. Right now, are they there yet?"
TOM: No, but they'll be there yet in ten minutes.
"One minute till arrival."
CROW: So I guess that means they're not there yet.
"Eagle Wings, hail them."
MIKE: Sieg Heil!
"No answer, sir."
TOM: I'm getting their voicemail, though.
The view screen of the Eagles
CROW: Eagles on their own 34, third and long...
showed a heavy blast to the leader. "Eagle 1
to base! I'm hit! I'm hit!
MIKE: A palpable hit!
The bastards fried my warp coils! Shields are
TOM: Brooke?
goin' down! Falling back on thrusters!"
"Damn. Eagle Wings advance on attack sequence now!"
CROW: Now! Attack the attack sequence with extreme prejudice!
"Iye, sir," Eagle 2 replied.
MIKE: No tallyho?
"How 'bout the Fox fighters?"
TOM: <snotty> I don't know? How 'bout 'em?
"Six of the alien ships on Earth have been destroyed or captured.
CROW: Yeah, that's nice. What about the Fox fighters?
One of
them took two humans. It got away. Fox 4 did record its destination though."
MIKE: Nerima. Know anybody there?
"What was the destination?"
TOM: Oh, if this was any other series I'd gladly say Tokyo, but...
"Some unknown dimension."
CROW: A dimension of sight and sound.
"Relay it to Secondary Ops.
MIKE: Secondary Ops. The long awaited series by Jon Carp.
TOM: Following that, read the charming story of how Haruna, Grandpa, Naru, Umino, and Shingo get involved in a twisted tale of sex, violence, and the afterlife in: Tertiary Characters! Coming soon to Artemis and Luna's!
Tell them to take a look at it. We need those
humans back."
CROW: I want you to search every roadhouse, doghouse, outhouse...
Another's voice spoke up. "Sir, five of the aliens are heading toward the
city.
TOM: <Jack Webb> This is the city. Tokyo, Japan. I work here. I'm a cop.
MIKE: ADP, most likely.
They are powering up their weapons and are targeting us."
CROW: Let us do something about it.
"Shields up. City-wide Red Alert. All personal to your battle stations."
TOM: Somehow, this doesn't give the same thrill of excitement.
CROW: Personal?
"Fox 8 to base. Five more of us are down. Requesting backup."
MIKE: Base to Fox 8, uh, we're all out or something. Kiss your asses goodbye. Over.
"Acknowledged. Eagles 15-20 back them up with heavy arms."
CROW: Force of Arms. By Jack McKinney.
TOM: How many Eagles do they have?
"The Eagles are leaving now."
MIKE: Houston, this is Tranquility Base. The Eagles have left.
CROW: Houston, we have a problem...
TOM: Houston, Houston, do you read?
Just then a transmission came in. "This is the Prime Commander Gorax of the
TOM: Gorax? Sounds Cardassian.
MIKE: Please, no DS9 crossovers.
TOM: Relax, it could always be Voyager.
MIKE: That's supposed to make me *relax*?
Maug Fleet. Resistance is futile."
CROW: Now where have I heard that before?
"Now where have I heard that before?" Wesley said to himself.
CROW: Aaaah! Get out of my head!
TOM: Great minds think alike, Crow! <snickers>
"Prepare to be boarded." The head ship shot out a purple beam at the city's
shields. They faltered and then faded away.
TOM: Pretty weak attack.
A second beam shot at the
primary weapons leaving them defenseless against the invaders.
TOM: What about the shields...oh. The *shields* faded away.
"Sir..." Radar reported everything, "And now we're being invaded!"
CROW: Ms. Ramos, lazy writing is not going to cut it on USENET. Now go to the blackboard and write 'I will spend more time thinking about what I'm going to write' 100 times.
"Great. Call Princess Vanessa, tell her to start evacuating the citizens
immediately."
MIKE: Heaven forbid they do it theirselves.
* * * * *
It was a couple of days later.
CROW: And now, the results of that trial.
Valerie had no luck getting any response
>from calls to the city.
TOM: WHAT CITY???
CROW: Shinjuku. She's calling her demon agent.
She had already met up with the Scouts, and they
were going frantic looking for their missing queen and king-to-be. So it was
decided that Valerie would go there and figure out what was wrong.
MIKE: Go where?
CROW: Some dialogue would have been nice.
TOM: It's the Michelle Ramos story hour!
She stepped in through a portal, turned around, and closed it.
CROW: Close doors. Save electricity.
TOM: I thought these were the kind that opened and closed for you?
MIKE: You remember a detail like that?
TOM: Well, we've kept the 'moment' gag going all this time, haven't we?
When the
portal in front of her disappeared she wasn't all that surprised to see
CROW: Counting Crows.
MIKE: <singing> So it's one more day up in the canyons...
Secondary Ops in ruins. But its what she found that surprised her.
TOM: Yeah, I hate when those 'what she found that' things surprise me.
MIKE: Nani?
TOM: Think it through.
Dead
bodies of the crew everywhere.
CROW: How, precisely, does one crew a planet?
Killed by laser blasts. That was unusual,
people here were killed usually by pure energy.
TOM: Whereas in Juuban, a lack of it will do.
Knowing there was nothing else she could do for them, Valerie moved on. As
MIKE: Moving On. A new fanfic from the creators of...wait, there *is* a fanfic called Moving On.
the princess walked through the halls, she found nothing but the dead. Not a
CROW: There's tie-dye everywhere. Sad, really.
living soul in sight. Little did she know of the silent shadow following her.
TOM: Dark Shadows. Next on the Sci-Fi channel.
She started to worry when she saw the invasion report
MIKE: On PBS.
in one of the battle
stations. And even more so when the computer didn't detect anything alive.
CROW: Including herself.
Not even a Terrilian dog. She picked one of the report pads and set it to
TOM: Self destruct.
MIKE: <Don Adams> This message will self destruct in five seconds.
record information. She began to head for the door when she dropped the pad.
CROW: SHE DROPPED THE PAD! And there's a wild pileup for the pad on the 45 yard line...
The shadow closed in and made a grab for her. Valerie bent down to get the
TOM: Soap.
MIKE: No, Tom.
pad and the shadow missed. It fell over her and disappeared. She didn't even
notice and walked out.
CROW: Was that comedy?
TOM: For the author's sake, I hope not.
MIKE: For all our sakes, it better not have been. Pain was funnier.
First she went to her guardian's quarters.
TOM: Diana?
CROW: No, don't give her any ideas.
Actually she didn't really need
Eddie, but he was still there when she needed him.
CROW: Especially on those...*special* nights.
She didn't find a thing.
His place was a mess, too. Looked like somebody was searching for something.
TOM: The Rainbow Crystals?
MIKE: The Moon Princess?
CROW: The Rabbit?
TOM: The Talismans?
MIKE: A pure heart crystal?
CROW: A pure star seed?
The shadow appeared behind her. A beeping came from her com-badge.
MIKE: The price of soybeans went up 2 and 7/8ths.
She tapped it. "Yeah?"
TOM: <gruff> Whattya want?
"Find anything yet?" Mina inquired.
CROW: Bad visual gags...
"Nothing. I'm sorry to say, everyone's dead." She walked over to a small
room looking for clues but found nothing.
MIKE: Need the Mystery Machine.
"What happened?" Raye asked.
TOM: I'd guess they all died, but that's just me.
"There was an invasion. No doubt it was Droid. But he could never do this
CROW: Apparently he can.
before, never had so much power." Valerie sounded thoughtful.
MIKE: As opposed to shocked, which anyone in their right mind would be.
"Where could he have gotten power like that?" Amy chimed in.
<Tom does the bit from the Westminster Chimes>
"Who knows? He obviously had help."
TOM: *Obviously*.
"Well, keep searching. We'll let you know if anything comes up here on
Earth," Raye concluded.
CROW: The honorable gentlewoman from Juuban yields the balance of her time to the jerk from Dimension 6.
"Sure. See ya later." She tapped at her com as she walked around.
MIKE: The woodpecker-like motions disturbed the others, though.
Suddenly, she was grabbed from behind and a sharp object was put to her
neck.
CROW: It was actually a really sharp spoon, but she didn't know that.
A voice, a scraggly, frightening voice, sounded. "Now you will listen
TOM: To Beck.
MIKE: Nooo!
CROW: Hey! I like Beck!
to me," it commanded harshly, "you will stay quiet and cooperative or I'll
give you a painful death." The shadow turned into a man.
CROW: That trick didn't go over so well in Vegas, though.
"Sure. Whatever you say," she said, her human side making her a little scared.
TOM: Since humans are inferior n' stuff.
"You're going to give me the security codes to get to the Time Crystal.
Then you will activate it and give it to me."
MIKE: <man> Then you will take me to McDonalds and get me a #3 value meal...Super sized!
"What do YOU want with that?"
MIKE: <same> Eat it, of course!
"Uh uh uh. Can't tell you that.
MIKE: <same> Gotta keep this farce of a plot going.
Now come on!" The man pushed her forward.
They arrived in a room with many jewels, diamonds, gems, and crystals in
CROW: Lemm guess, one of these is a special crystal from the Silver Millenium that grants the bearer immense powers, and would do terrible, irreparable harm if it fell into the wrong hands?
TOM: Exactly! You *have* learned something from all those fanfics.
cases along the wall. A room for crown jewels. "Which one is it?" Val
CROW: <Harrison Ford> The cup of Christ, the cup of Christ...which one is it?
TOM: You have chosen...poorly.
pointed to one of the crystals in the casings. "Get it out. Now!"
TOM: Oh, that's the crystal with the exploding ink pack.
"Just don't push me. Computer, release Time Crystal. Authorization Valerie,
alpha, omega."
MIKE: Great password, really.
TOM: Well, it beats 'the rabbit in the moon pounds mochi.'
The casing slid up into the ceiling and vanished. The crystal floated
CROW: -in water, with a density of .54 g/cm^3.
there, gleaming in all its beauty.
TOM: I suppose it looks nice, then.
MIKE: Shame she couldn't describe it.
She picked it up and concentrated. He
grabbed it from her hands and started laughing. His laughter soon faded as
CROW: -it ceased to be funny.
TOM: I'm sure I'd be concerned about his getting the Time Crystal if I knew what the hell it did.
deadly electricity started pouring into him. Now he was screaming in agony.
MIKE: <falsetto> It's fun!
"Had enough yet?"
"Y...yes!" Valerie concentrated a moment and the electricity stopped. The
TOM: But Valerie had had her first taste of real power. As she plotted to establish a police state, she laughed evilly to herself.
crystal was halfway towards the ground when it hovered over to the princess.
TOM: Well trained crystal, too.
She grabbed it and said, "It's my turn to give orders now.
MIKE: It's whips and chains time!
You're going to
answer my questions or I give you a painful death. Got it?"
CROW: Yes, mistress!
TOM: You do that too well.
CROW: It takes years of practice...
"Never."
She looked down at her attacker on the floor. "Too bad. I set the crystal
MIKE: -up for a great date with the ginzuishou. Oh well.
to paralyze you and that electricity you felt was really truth serum.
MIKE: Liquids that feel like electric currents, on the next Bill Nye!
You
have no choice but to answer me." He groaned. "Now, who sent you?"
CROW: Why are you here? How did you get in my house?
He struggled. "The Queen."
"The queen of what?"
TOM: Diamonds.
CROW: Neo-Tokyo.
MIKE: New Orleans.
"Of the realm of Dinara. Queen Rodhunda. <roe-dund-uh, for all you care!>"
TOM: All none of us.
"Who? What the Hell? What does that lady want with a crystal?"
CROW: She wants to rule the world and/or universe. What else does a fanfic villain want?
"She's collecting all of the Jewels of Nalaria. Yours was next."
MIKE: In a well organized essay, explain the significance of the Jewels of Nalaria.
"And she had to destroy the city? Why all this trouble?"
"I don't know. Something about her daughter and some prince living here."
"Which prince?"
CROW: Dimand.
TOM: Endymion.
MIKE: The tennis racket.
CROW: The singer formerly known as.
"I don't know."
CROW: Uh-oh, someone's going to get slimed!
"And the daughter?"
"Princess Arche. <are-ke (as in the ke in kept)> I know nothing more."
TOM: Not even the principal reasons for the Louisiana Purchase? Geez, he's pathetic.
"Fine. Is your mother dead?"
"Yes. Why?"
"Because your just about to meet her, if you're that lucky."
MIKE: I think we've found an adversary worthy of Marrissa.
CROW: No, we've just found Marrissa.
Valerie
created a small but strong powerball.
TOM: Z?
CROW: We tried that.
It flew to the man and disintegrated
CROW: Oh yeah, that's a *great* weapon, falls apart when you use it.
him.
CROW: Oh.
It might have seemed cruel to some, but he knew too much. She couldn't
risk it, considering there'd still be something ro risk.
MIKE: And in any case, every killing spree has to start somewhere.
TOM: Somehow, as long as this tripe is, I don't care that somebody was just murdered in cold blood.
* * * * *
Screams were heard through Raye's thoughts. She broke out of her trance
CROW: Along with the audience.
and looked up at the fire. The girls sat behind her and noticed a change in
the fire. It flared up. Raye turned around. "The Supermarket! They're
TOM: Precisely what the hell's going on?
attacking the same market that the Four Sisters attacked!"
"Then let's go!" Mina shouted. "Venus Star Power!"
"Mars Star Power!"
"Mercury Star Power!" They all quickly leaped to the market.
CROW: Hell of a leap. Are they going to Sydney in 2000?
* * * * *
When they got there, people were already killed.
MIKE: We're sorry, that's incorrect. Please try again in the correct passive voice.
Not drained, KILLED. "Why
TOM: <singing, dark> Because we *hate* you.
you idiotic fool! How dare you murder innocent people!!" Raye yelled.
CROW: Uh, let's leave the speeches for Sailor Moon, okay?
"Mars
Celestial Fire Surround!!!"
MIKE: Dimension 6. In Fire Surround(tm) where available.
"Venus Love Chain Encircle!!"
"Mercury Ice Storm Blast!"
The three attacks hit the unknown monster dead on. He survived unscratched.
TOM: <Mars> Oh poopie.
As expected.
CROW: What? As expected by who?
MIKE: The author.
The bio began to attack the only Sailor Scouts left.
TOM: You mean Chibi-Moon, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Saturn, Chibi-Chibi, Maker, Healer, and Fighter? And that's not counting the evil ones.
Mercury
dodged as Mars and Venus kept his attention.
CROW: Is there something about Mercury we don't know about?
Mercury started working on
gathering the last live shoppers and getting them out of here.
MIKE: <singing> She's got the whole market in her hands!
"Hey over here!" Mars shouted. The monster turned towards her but then a
crescent beam shot right past his face. He turned around to Venus and then a
fireball hit its back. He charged at Venus.
MIKE: Seeing as how the separation between Venus and Earth was several million miles, this would take awhile.
She jumped away and hit him with
a meteor shower.
CROW: Lucifer's Hammer II: Minako's Revenge.
TOM: Meteor, not comet, Crow.
This kept him busy long enough for Mercury to get the
suvillians out safely.
TOM: Except for Ed. To hell with him.
As soon as she finished she called Valerie.
"Aghh!"
TOM: You said it, lady.
"Venus! No!" Mars ran over to her fallen friend. She had been hit by the
bio. Her chest was smoking.
CROW: Better her chest than her area.
She soon fell unconscious. "Venus wake up! Ooh,
TOM: <singing> ohh o-oh! Fire Soul Bird in Love...
MIKE: Are we going to ref the entire SM vocal collection?
TOM: Or die trying.
you're gonna pay! MARS CELESTIAL FIRE!!! SURROUND!!!!" She put all her power
into that one. It singed the bio.
CROW: I sing the bio electric!
He got mad and fired his energy at her. Mars didn't have any time to dodge,
it was coming so fast. But instead of falling, "Shield!" Valerie was at the
other end of the isle and had thrown a huge green boomerang-like beam at
Mars. The vertical flying shield luckily protected her from harm.
TOM: Right, so Mars can't move a couple meters to either side, but Valerie can come out of nowhere, size up the situation, come up with an appropriate defense, and executes it flawlessly?
MIKE: Uh, yes.
TOM: Okay.
<Tom sceams a scream of defeat>
Valerie
jumped up and came down hard on the bio.
CROW: Don't hold back now...
It struggled to free itself, but to
no avail.
TOM: Okay, she's done what no other senshi could have. I'm ready to call her omnipotent, and therefore treat her as Evil(tm) incarnate.
MIKE: Sounds good to me.
Mercury leapt in down besides Venus. She began to check her vital signs.
Valerie prepared to destroy the bio. "MARS STARFIRE... aghh!" She grasped
her head in pain. She fell back off the bio onto the floor.
MIKE: Hangovers always come at the worst times, huh?
The freak got up
and readied some energy for her.
TOM: I'll have your energy in just a moment, ma'am.
"Aghh. Ohh, it hurts!" she screamed. The
power of the bio hit her. Valerie went up in flames.
<wild unrestrained cheering from our heroes>
The bio then started for the Scouts. "Oh no!" Amy exclaimed, "Without
Valerie to destroy him we don't stand any chance!"
<cheering ceases>
End Part 6
<cheering begins again>
Yo. Long ain't it?
<cheering ceases again>
To me at least, I'm the damn writer! If you were lucky
enough to unzip this file
TOM: -and keel over before actually reading it...
you just read 14 pages. Almost 15. This one was
probably a boring one, and yet it was so long!
MIKE: Gee, whose fault could that be?
At least it was a little more
revealing on the basis of this story, whatever that means.
CROW: If I ever find out where she lives...
You should know by now that I'm a Star Trek fan and I included some in here.
TOM: Noted and added to our list of grievances.
It doesn't center around spaceships exploring the galaxy though. So don't
MIKE: That's BSSO.
worry about it. I liked Wesley
MIKE: That's it. I officially hate her.
and since he had such a small part, I gave
him a real life.
TOM: Or rather, tried, and failed miserably.
And a new girlfriend. Vanessa's never been real until now.
CROW: Clara? Is that you?
Please E-Mail me to tell me what you think.
TOM: Believe me, you don't want to know.
You all are thinking someone
else will do it for you, but you're wrong.
MIKE: Two wrongs don't make a right, sister.
So please give me your comments
and thoughts.
E-Mail me at <eoramos@ix.netcom.com>
CROW: May spambots everywhere remember that addy.
(continued)