Subject: Re: [FFML] [Ranma][Lemon] Ranma Nibun no Ichi 8 - Moments (First Draft)
From: David Lerman
Date: 6/15/1997, 12:17 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com


  Kun-chan is back.  Oh happy day.  I'll leave the detailed C&C to others,
but here are a few minor comments and questions. 

  Wouldn't it make more sense for Ranma to consider describing "Ranko" as a
Tendo cousin?  It is not unlikely that one of those other mothers would
eventually find out that there are three Tendo sisters and none of them are
named "Ranko".  A favorite female cousin of the same age looking after a
child is not that uncommon a situation in countries with strong family
structures.

  As soon as I read that Akane had a boy and Ukyo had a girl, I figured
that the fathers would get around to engaging them, but that scene and the
aftermath were still funny to read.

  Will there be some way for Hinak-sensei to stay in adult form long enough
so that some future partner won't feel like a pedophile?  Perhaps Kodachi
can develop something.  

  If the others find out about what Mikado and Kodachi do in their spare
time, I don't think any local restaurant will ever again serve them any
drink with ice.  

  Good story.  

                                                                     dml