Hazards of Divinty
An Oh My God? Story
by
Brett Handy
Part 2 - Section A
As the shifting patterns finally resolved into a
coherent image, I felt a tremor run along Urd's hand and I
looked at her in concern. "What's wrong", I asked worriedly.
Urd smiled, "Nothing at all", she said, smiling, "I think
I just got all my powers back".
I looked at her in surprise and she nodded, "I'm feeling
better than I have in weeks", she insisted, "There must be a
powersource here that we can tap into".
We'd appeared in a clearing, in what looked like a deep
forrest. The trees looked almost normal, a bit like oak
trees. The sun was shining and the sky was a brilliant blue.
I took a deep breath and savoured the sweet smell of morning.
"Well", I said, "At least the air's nice and clean".
Urd stretched her arms and recited a quick spell, a
glowing bolt of energy flew from her hands into the sky,
"There's definitely a powersource here", she said firmly.
There was a rustling in the bushes and a small child
broke from the treeline, fleeing from some unknown predetor.
The young boy noticed us and waved his arms, shouting, "Run!
some trolls are coming this way!".
Urd and I exchanged a confused glance as the boy ran
right past us and into the bushes on the other side of the
clearing. A moment later we realised what he was talking
about, as a pair of hulking figures lumbered into the
clearing. They were carrying huge axes and stood a good ten
feet tall. On spotting us the two of them charged.
I drew my sabre and stepped in front of Urd, "I'll keep
'em busy", I said.
Urd threw me a curious glace, "Why bother?", she asked,
raising her hand. This time a rolling ball of fire leapt
towards the two startled trolls. They didn't have time to
wonder what had hit them as they were consumed in Urd's magic.
"Where the hell did those come from?", I wondered out
loud.
"There are creatures like that all over the country
Milord", a voice answered me from the trees.
A middle-aged man stepped out from cover, the young boy
was clinging to his leg. He was dressed in tattered clothing
and his eyes looked tired, "Ever since the monsters' homeland
was destroyed, the surviving creatures have been causing havoc
all across Valus", he explained.
"Valus?", I asked.
The man gave me a confused look, "That's this country's
name", he explained, "I used to be mayor of a village just to
the south of here. You must be from a distant kingdom indeed
Milord...".
"You could say that", I replied, then I noticed that
there were several other people watching us from the treeline
and I put the sword away. "What about your village?", I
asked.
"It was destroyed two days ago", an old lady said,
stepping out from where she was hiding. One by one the
villagers appeared, until there were nearly thirty people in
the little clearing, "Our soldiers couldn't stand up to the
monsters advance".
"And you've nowhere to go?", I frowned.
The mayor shook his head, "We are on our way to the
capital", he explained, "to beg help from the princess, but we
were attacked by those creatures...".
I exchanged a glance with Urd and she nodded, "How far is
it to the capital?", I asked.
"Three or four days walk to the south", the Mayor
replied, giving me a hopeful look.
Urd tapped on my shoulder and we walked a little apart
from the villagers, "You realise that we've still got to find
the next portal", she reminded me.
I gave her a curious look, "You'd just abandon these
people?", I asked.
"NO!", she denied quickly, "But if we're going to get
home, we can't be stopping off to help everyone we meet".
I pulled Skuld's tracking device out of my pack, "Where
is the next portal that will take us closer to Washu?", I
asked it.
The screen lit up with a map of our general area and
there was a blinking arrow point off to the southwest of the
screen. I showed it to Urd, "It's not really that far out of
our way", I said carefully.
Urd huffed slightly, "All right!", she said, "let's get
moving".
We walked over to the mayor, "Lead the way!", I said,
"We'll go with you".
There was a small cheer from the villagers and several of
the younger children swarmed around us as we took to the path
through the forrest. Urd's expression, which started out
rather downcast, brightened at the children's antics. As it
neared evening we came to the edge of the forest and the Mayor
turned to me, "Should we make camp here Milord?", he asked.
I sighed, throughout our conversations the Mayor insisted
on called me 'Milord', no matter how hard I protested that I
wasn't a noble. "That's probably a good idea", I replied, "We
don't know what's waiting for us outside the forest". The
villagers split up and began to locate wood for the fire, and
water to drink. In no time we had a nice little camp all set
up, some of the village women began cooking some food over the
campfire.
I leaned up against a comfortable tree and watched the
embers of the fire drift up into the air. After a few minutes
one of the younger women approached me cautiously, "Here
Milord", she said carefully, holding out a plate of food.
"Thank you", I said noticing how empty my stomach felt,
I began to eat it until I noticed that the young lady was
sitting close by, watching me.
I looked at her curiously and she blushed, "Oh", she
said, in an embarrassed tone of voice, "It's just that I've
never met a Lord before".
"Well", I said carefully, "I'm not exactly a Lord".
******
Urd shook her head in frustration, they were suppose to
be finding their way home, and here Brett was playing 'Knight'
to a bunch of refugees. She took a few bites of the food that
the village women had prepared and grimaced at the taste.
"Brett's cooking was much better", she muttered, placing the
plate on the ground.
She looked around and noticed Brett sitting talking to
one of the younger village women, he was laughing and she was
blushing slightly. Urd frowned and muttered a quick spell.
No one noticed the small pop and the three little figures that
appeared in her place. The Mini-Urds scattered into the
forest, moving around to where Brett was sitting.
"What do you mean you're not a Lord?", the girl asked,
"You're wearing beautifully crafted armour and a sword like
we've never seen".
Brett shook his head, "A good friend of mine made this armour
for me as a birthday present", he explained, "And this type of
sword is quite common where I come from".
The girl looked confused, "But you've got a sorceress
serving you!", she protested.
The mini-Urd's bristled, until Brett laughed again,
"Urd?", he laughed, "Serving me?!??!". He laughed for a few
minutes, as the girl became more and more confused.
"What's so funny?", the young woman asked.
"Urd wouldn't serve anyone", he replied, "She's the
second most stubborn person I know!". The Mini-Urd #1 had a
strong urge to smack him with a tree branch, she was
restrained by the other two.
The girl looked confused, "If you don't like her, why are
you travelling with her?", she asked.
Brett shook his head, "I didn't say that I didn't like
her", he replied, looking up at the stars and smiling,
"Exactly the opposite actually".
"Oh", the girl said quietly, her eyes downcast, "I didn't
realise the two of you were promised to each other".
"What?", Brett asked, his eyes snapping back from
stargazing, "We're not engaged or anything", he said.
The girl's eyes sparkled slightly, "Would you like some
more food?", she asked, noticing that Brett had finished his
plate.
Brett nodded, "Thanks", he said, "I'd appreciate that".
"My pleasure", she said softly, hurrying back to the
fire.
The mini-Urds pulled back slightly to have a conference.
"I still want to smack him for that stubborn comment", Mini-
Urd #1 complained.
Mini-Urd #2 had an serious expression on her face, "That
girl could be trouble", she said, "I recognised the look she
was giving Brett, even if Brett didn't".
"Brett would never even consider her", Mini-Urd #3
commented, "He's too stuck on us!".
The three sat down to consider, "How about we turn the
girl into a frog?", Mini-Urd #1 suggested.
"We could talk to her", Mini-Urd #2 added.
"I keep telling you that she's no competition!", Mini-Urd
#3 insisted.
"What do you think you're doing?", came a trio of voices
surrounding the Mini-Urd's. The three little Urds looked
around to find themselves confronted with three equally little
Bretts.
Mini-Brett #1 gave Mini-Urd #1 a steady look, "What's
this about turing someone into a frog?", he asked.
"Talk to who?", Mini-Brett #2 asked.
"Who's no competition for who?", Mini-Brett #3 inquired.
There was no response from the three little Urds. The Mini-
Brett's exchanged a knowing look, "They're jealous!", all
three concluded at once.
"WE ARE NOT!!!!", the three Mini-Urd's fumed. What
followed was a rough and tumble brawl. In the end the score
was 3 to 0 in Urd's favour.
"LET US UP!!!", Mini-Bretts 1 through 3 shouted angrily.
Each of them were tied up and being sat on by a very satisfied
looking Mini-Urd.
"No!", chorused the three Mini-Urds.
"COME ON!", Brett #1 insisted, "That girl will be back
soon!".
"All the more reason you should stay here!", said Mini-
Urd #2.
Mini Urd #3 thought for a moment, "If we let you go,
you've got to answer the next three questions we ask you with
a 'Yes'!", said.
The other Urds nodded. The three Bretts exchanged
forbidding glances, "What kind of questions?", Mini-Brett #2
asked.
"That's for us to know and you to fear!", Mini-Urd #1
said, "Now is it a deal?".
The three Bretts exchanged a long suffering look at each
other before they all nodded. With a puff of smoke Brett and
Urd reappeared in their normal forms, just as the young
village girl returned. She passed Brett the food and looked over
Urd closely. Brett cautiously ate the food, giving Urd a nervous
glance occasionally. There was a palpable tension in the air
as the three sat quietly looking at each other. After a
marathon effort, Brett managed to eat the rest of the food and
smiled at the young girl, "Thanks for the food, I appreciate
it".
"Not at all", she replied, blushing, "After all you saved
our lives".
"Actually", Urd said, breaking into the conversation,
"*I* was the one that blasted the trolls".
The girl looked at her with distaste, "I'm sure that if
you hadn't have been here, Lord Brett would have defeated them
all anyway", she said quickly.
Urd laughed, "Brett would have been squashed to a pulp",
Urd said, then she looked at Brett, "Right?", she asked.
Brett sighed, "Yes", he replied blandly.
The girl looked at Brett in amazement, "You can't mean
that!", she said, "You're a Knight at the very least!".
"But Brett wouldn't know what to do without his loving
wife", Urd continued, "Right?", she asked Brett, wrapping one
of her arms around him.
Brett's face blanched, but he replied with a weak, "Yes".
The young girl did a double-take, "He's your husband?", she
asked Urd in amazement.
Urd shrugged, "He said that didn't he?", she asked.
She then proceeded to slap Brett and walk off angrily.
Urd was grinning broadly and Brett gave her a look that could
freeze water, "Was that necessary?", he asked
"YES!", Urd replied grabbing him by the chin and looking
him in the eyes, "You are mine!". She then proceeded to kiss
him soundly.
"Geeze!", Brett sighed, "You're really possessive!".
After a few moments Urd grinned, "Now will you please
take me back to our tent and make wild passionate love to
me?", she asked.
******
The next morning we broke camp as the sun rose and
started out into the plains. Not only wasn't Urd talking to
me (that stems from me *not* saying yes to her last question),
word had somehow gotten around that I was married to her.
Most of the people had kept a polite distance from Urd
yesterday, not wanting to go too near a powerful sorceress.
Today I found that I had the same problem, only the Mayor
walked close enough to talk to easily.
As we moved across the rolling grasslands, he told me the
tale of how the continent was formed. Apparently the Gods and
Demons of this universe had fought each other to extinction,
and in the process had split the continents. The sub-
continent we were on was called Lodoss. I slipped back in
line to where Urd was walking, "No wonder there's power here
to burn", she commented after I'd retold her the story.
I nodded, "We're the only ones that are tapping into a
power that was meant for hundreds", she continued.
I grinned at her, "You still haven't noticed have you?",
I asked curiously.
"What haven't I noticed?", she retorted.
"Remember last night?", I said, she nodded and I smiled,
"How do you think I did that 'split into three' trick with no
powers?".
Urd's eye's widened and she examined my brow
thoughtfully, "Well that's unusual", she said, looking
closely, "Both the marks are there". She offered me a small
mirror and I examined myself carefully. Urd was correct, the
single diamond-shaped marking that I'd received with my wish
had returned, but the vertical lines were still there too.
"So what does that mean?", I asked, confused.
Urd shrugged, "Damned if I know", she replied, "I've
never seen anything like it before".
"You're a great help!", I said sarcastically.
Urd smiled innocently in response. The march south was
pretty uneventful, aside from Urd's continued attempts to...
bring us closer together (which were becoming quite routine
by now). In a little under the four days that the Mayor had
suggested, we crested the top of a hill and before us stood
the royal city of Valus. The crowd of villagers let out a cry
of delight and began to barrel down the hill towards the
distant city.
Urd and I were walking down the hill at a more sedate
pace, until I noticed a troop of horseman riding out of the
city, directly towards our refugees. The two of us quickened
our pace and caught up to our group just as the horsemen
arrived.
The captain of the troops pulled his formation up in a
straight line, "HOLD!", he cried out.
The Mayor stepped forward, "Why are you stopping us?", he
demanded, "Our village was destroyed.. we've come seeking
shelter..".
"I'm sorry", the Captain said, he eye's were downcast,
"We cannot allow you into the city".
The villagers murmured uneasily, "What are you talking
about?", the Mayor asked in a shocked voice, "Since when are
we no longer allowed in our country's capital?".
"We're under orders not to allow anyone into the city",
The captain repeated, "that means everyone!". He straightened
up in his seat and drew his sword, "You must leave now", he
ordered.
I pushed my way through the crowd and up beside the
mayor, "Captain", I asked, "What reason were you given for
stopping us?".
He looked at me carefully, noting my body armour and
sword, "Monsters have been appearing all over the country,
some disguised as peasants... we cannot compromise the cities'
security", he explained, "Do not come any closer or you will
regret it".
The villagers groaned in disappointment, "Could you at
least provide some supplies or tents for us?", I asked, "It's
been quite a walk..".
"No", he said bluntly, "We cannot spare anything".
His men shifter uneasily and I shook my head, "I don't
think much of your hospitality", I replied, I felt an uneasy
stirring in my stomach and my hands tense
There was an angry mutter from the villagers, agreeing
with my assessment and the bowmen amongst the troops half-
raised their crossbows. "We don't want to kill you", the
Captain said, "But if you don't leave right now...".
"You'll kill all these defenceless people?", I asked,
pointing at the villagers, "They've lost everything and now
you want to take their lives?!?!?".
Urd must have caught my expression, because she began
moving quickly forward through the crowd. The stirring that I
had felt had quickly grown into a burning. The soldiers must
have noticed something because the Captain drew back in fear.
The villagers began backing away from me, leaving a wide
circle.
I felt Urd tugging on my arm, "Brett!", she insisted,
"Come on, settle down".
I shook off Urd's grasp and pointed at the Captain's
sword, incanting a force-bolt spell. Instead of the familiar
blue lightning that the spell usually produced, a writher of
black flame lanced out from my hand, melting the startled
officer's sword in an instant. The crossbowmen reflexively
loosed their quarrels at us. Urd covered the two of us with a
hasty forcefield and the quarrels bounced off harmlessly.
"NO!", Urd shouted, as I looked towards the bowmen, she
redoubled the strength of her shield. I shook myself slightly
and gave Urd a confused look, "I wouldn't hurt them or
anything", I said in a unsteady voice.
The footmen had reached the edge of her shield and were
banging against it with their swords. I looked at them
steadily, "Leave", I ordered firmly, "If you don't you'll end
up like that sword". For effect I held up a hand, wreathed in
black flame.
"Retreat!", called the Captain, "We can't defeat such
sorcerers!". The troop of men quickly retreated, racing back
across the plain to the city.
Urd dropped the shield and gave me a cautious look, "Are
you all right?", she asked.
I looked at the hand that was still wreathed in black
flames, "Not really", I replied, "What the hell is this
stuff?".
Urd grimaced, "Hell is right", she said, "That kind of
flame can only be produced by a demon... and at those
levels... a pretty powerful one at that".
I shook my head, "I cast those spells exactly the same
way you taught me", I argued, "With my normal powers back,
they should have worked right!".
Urd shrugged, "Well", she mused, "Remember that not only
were the Gods destroyed, so were the Demons, there must be a
lot of untapped evil energy in this universe...".
I shuddered, "And now I'm the focus of it?", I asked.
Urd walked over and hugged me gently, "Brett", she said
seriously, "Just remember who you are and why we're here,
that's all I ask, don't let it change you and it won't make a
difference".
I smiled slightly, "Oh?", I asked, "I thought *you* were
the one that wanted to make some changes about me?".
"Of course!", Urd replied, smiling, "But those are
changes that I know we both would enjoy".
******
The frightened villagers had regrouped a few hundred
meters away and were looking at us fearfully. "Please Lord
Sorcerer", the mayor begged of Brett fearfully, "Don't harm
us...".
He shook his head, "I'm not a sorcerer", he said calmly,
"I have no intention of harming you".
The gates to the city which had opened for the soldiers
to retreat through opened again, this time a smaller group
rode through the gates. Brett tried to relax, taking several
deep breaths. The people riding towards them didn't appear
very threatening. One was wearing a long set of robes, with a
hood and carrying a large staff, the other was wearing white
clothing and was carrying some kind of mace. Between the two
men rode a young woman, she was also in white robes and her
expression was one of grave concern.
They approached slowly and dismounted from their horses,
"Greetings to you, travellers", the tall man said, throwing
back his hood.
Brett nodded cautiously, "G'day".
"I'm to understand that you are here to attack the city,
destroy everything and sacrifice all the women and children to
a dark power", he said, leaning against his staff, "Or at
least that's the impression that I was given by the guard
captain".
Brett sighed, "Not at all", he replied, gesturing to the
villagers (who reflexively gasped), "These people had their
village destroyed, were attacked by monsters and your guards
wouldn't let them into the city!".
The younger man in the white robes looked around in
concern, "There *is* some kind of dark power around here,
Slayn", he said to his companion.
Slayn nodded, "I feel it too", he agreed.
"But there's also something else", the woman with them
announced, "Something powerful... yet gentle... something
kind... yet chaotic...".
The two men looked at her strangely and she shrugged,
"That's what I feel", she said.
Brett gave Urd a small smile, "She must be reading you",
he whispered. Urd gave Brett a frosty glance and then nodded
to the newcomers, "Who are you?", she asked bluntly.
Slayn smiled, "You already know my name", he said, then
he indicated his companions, "This is Laylia, a priestess of
Marfa and Eto a priest of Falis".
Urd nodded, "My name is Urd", she introduced herself.
The three then turned to Brett and he shrugged, "My name's
Brett", he said.
"Why did you attack the garrison from the city", Slayn
asked carefully, "Do you usually go around burning swords?".
"Only if they're pointed at me", Brett said blandly.
Brett then looked at the villagers, "Those men were ready to
hurt these villagers", he explained, "They couldn't defend
themselves against armed men on horseback!".
Eto nodded, "I understand", he said, "It is every good
person's duty to defend the helpless".
Laylia looked at Urd closely, "Where are you from?", she
asked curiously.
Urd gave her a blank look, "Very far away", she said.
The mayor of the village (who had found the courage to
stand close enough to listen) spoke up, "They appeared in a
clearing, right out of thin air", he said, "and saved us from
a pair of trolls".
"Trolls?", Slayn asked, "How close?".
"Three days march to the north", Brett replied. Brett
looked at the trio in front of him, "Can I assume you three
will take care of these people now?", he asked, "Because Urd
and I have somewhere else we need to be".
"Where's that?", Eto asked curiously.
"None of your damn business!", Urd snapped.
Slayn smiled gently at Urd, "If you tell us where you're
going we might be able to provide you with some transport or
supplies", he said.
Brett shrugged, "We're going south west", he explained.
Laylia looked concerned, "That's very dangerous country",
she warned.
Urd smiled, "We're very dangerous people", she replied,
grinning.
Eto laughed, "That may be the case", he allowed, "But if
you'd like to rest before your journey, I'm sure that we could
find you room in the city".
Brett jerked a thumb at the villagers, "Does that go for
our friends too?", he asked.
Eto nodded, "Of course", he said, "I would never turn
anyone away, neither would the princess". The three climbed
back on their horses and set off at a slow walk. The
villagers clambered after them. Leaving Brett and Urd
standing in the middle of the field, looking at each other
wearily.
"I could do with sleeping on a bed for a change", Urd
allowed, "And I could do with a bath".
Brett nodded, "A bed would be nice", he said, "But I
wonder what they want in return.. there's always a catch".
The two companions began to trudge after the mob, heading into
the city.
******
Brett and Urd were led into the main audience hall of the
palace, "Looks like they're not taking any chances", Brett
commented to Urd quietly. They were being escorted by at
least fifty armoured knights.
A man in herald's robes approached them as they neared
the entrance, "You'll have to leave your sword here", he said
apologetically to Brett. Brett shrugged and turned it over to
the official.
"Now then", the herald continued, "Do either of you have
any titles?".
Urd frowned, "What does that have to do with anything?",
she asked.
"Well", the herald said, "I have to know how to introduce
you to Her Majesty".
Brett and Urd exchanged thoughtful looks, "If I remember
correctly", Urd said, thinking hard, "When you first arrived
it was to replace Destiny...".
"And that means?", Brett asked curiously.
"Well", Urd said, "He was always called 'The Lord Of
Destiny'".
Brett frowned and looked at her strangely, "Why's that?",
he asked. Urd shrugged, "It's a title you've got anyway", she
said.
The herald looked satisfied, "Very well then", he said,
"The Lord of Destiny then?". Brett looked a little
uncomfortable, but nodded. Then noticed a strange feminine
figure walking across the hall and he stared curiously, "Who
or what is that?", he asked one of the Knights, indicating the
person.
The Knight laughed, "What?", he asked, "Haven't you ever
seen an elf before?".
Brett confused, "Elf?", he asked.
The Knight nodded, "She's a High Elf", he explained.
Urd was discussing something with the herald when Brett
returned. A few moments later the entrance doors opened and
the two companions followed the herald into the room,
"Presenting Lord Brett and Lady Urd, from the Land of
Destiny", the herald announced grandly.
Brett shot Urd a disapproving glance as the two of them
walked into the room, to which she just smiled sweetly. They
approached a large throne at the end of the hall, on it sat a
rather young girl, wearing a too-large crown. "Greetings
strangers", she said formally, "I welcome you to my kingdom".
"Thank you your majesty", Brett replied, bowing slightly.
Urd also bowed, and mumbled something polite. There was
an awkward silence in the room which was broken by Slayn
clearing his throat, "Perhaps our new guests could enlighten
us as to where they have come from?", he asked.
"I told you there would be a catch", Brett said blandly
(and loudly) to Urd. There was an angry muttering around the
room, "Please don't think that I'm being rude", he said,
smiling apologetically to the Princess (who was looking on with
an air of disapproval), "I'm just feeling a little tired".
The young Princess smiled slightly, "Well then", she said,
"Perhaps we should continue this tomorrow... ". She looked
across the room to where Eto was standing talking to a young
man dressed in armour, "Eto, would you and Parn please show
our guests to their room?".
Eto smiled and nodded, indicating that Brett and Urd
should follow him. As the newcomers left the room there was
another angry muttering around the room, "Your Majesty!", a
guard captain exclaimed, "How can you tolerate such bare-faced
insolence?!?".
"He's right!", another said, "They're sorcerers damn it!
who knows what kind of devilry they're capable of!".
"Yes", Slayn commented sarcastically, "You never can tell
with sorcerers!".
The courtier that made the comment blanched slightly, "I
didn't mean you Milord Slayn", he apologised.
"Enough", the Princess said sharply, "They're guests for the
moment, and I want them treated as such!". She stood and
walked down from the throne, "I think that they've got quite a
tale behind them", she commented to Slayn as he escorted her
from the room, "A most interesting tale".
******