Note:
If you want something reviewed, let me know.
If you got reviewed, a good way to return the favour would be 
to C&C "Love is What", by myself.  (Every time I post it, the 
list crashes, so I don't get much response...)
 
 
Double Life
A Ranma 1/2 fanfic
By Jonathan Lung
 
No linewrap.  Otakufic.  Deleted.
 
 
The Price of Heaven
by Richard Lawson
 
1) I detest the introduction.
2) I honestly think that you've taken "Heart of the Home" as 
far as you can in "Magic".  
3) A day ago, I would've voted you "least likely to do throw a 
crossover in part 21 of a 21-part series".  You should've kept 
that title.
4) I'm just failing to be impressed.  Sorry.
5) I find myself chanting "Tell the moondog, tell the 
march-hare" while reading this...
 
From: Jeffrey Lee <jeffrey_lee@hths.mcvsd.k12.nj.us>
To: fanfic@fanfic.com
Subject: [FFML] Ranma's destiny: The Legacy of Ranma
 
 
Well, my version got corrupted past line 300.
But from what I can read...
The introduction just doesn't grab me.   This strikes me more 
as a background for a video-game character than a Ranma fic.  
Notes of training fail to impress.  Suggested reading: Jang 
Choe's "Obsession", which has some of the best training scenes 
around.  Also, why use Ranma's name?  It doesn't strike me as 
him...Call him Joe or Pete or Taisugawa.  Putting Ranma in a 
straight good-evil fight is a bad idea too... that sort of 
thing is just not there in the manga, and for a reason.
 
 
From: Jang Choe <yinyang@altered.com>
To: fanfic@fanfic.com
Subject: [FFML] [FanFic][Ranma]Pumpkin Dunkin
 

If you're going to give me any response on this, and I know you won't, 

I've C&C'd a number of your works..  I really hope this isn't 
one of those "Everything goes hideously wrong for Mousse"
things.  (I liked "Obsession", except for the ending.)
 
 

Mousse:  I don't know, people in Nerima all look the same.

Cool!
 

Cologne:  Now get you ass down there and serve them!

This ain't Cologne's kinda talkin.
 
Clean up the language...
 

    back, and Mousse looks at him in a cool fighting stance, his

desc the stance.
 
Hmm....
You put in events without taking any of them to their logical 
conclusion.  Explain why Mousse is talking to whichever 
inanimate object happens to be closest.  Have Mousse and Keiko 
finally get together...do *something*
Overall...much room for improvement, but has potential.
 
 
From: Kiyoshi <toboholm@telusplanet.net>
To: fanfic@fanfic.com
Subject: [FFML] [FFML][Ranma 1/2] Raven's Wing
 
Intro: Too slow.
I'd reccomend taking any non-essential characters out.

"So have you gorthaks gotten any better at fighting?" Raven asked.

Keep it normal, unless the story won't work without gorthaks.
I mean...don't make things more complex than they have to be.
All-in-all...you've set yourself up for something tough.  Good 
luck.
 
 
Subject: [FFML] <seek C&C><fanfic><ranma original flavor><great chefs>
 
I want more.
 
 
 
 
From: Sachs <sachss@db.erau.edu>
To: tempffml@humbug.org..au
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic][WiP]Mother's Son
 
I want to see more.

Terrence Marks
Remember-Jesus is your friend.
normal@grove.ufl.edu