I'm done mentaly warping my students for another week. (Mwahahaha) Now I
have to grade tests....wah....
Heres Escape 3, I'll post 4-6 tomarrow.
Most characters are Takahashi's. Miss. Spelling is my fault.
Matthew Trotter, yes, a member function CAN change a member variable w/o
a reference...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Escape From Nerima
--------------------------
Part three: Paranoia
--------------------------
Just because I'm paranoid
doesn't mean they're not
out to get me.
--------------------------
To his credit, Dr. Tofu made a good recovery, for about three seconds,
until Morphine side stepped to give him a better view of Kasumi. She was
looking radiant, she had a good reason. Dr. Tofu lost it. Morphine evaded
the inquisition and took the groceries into the kitchen. Akane grimaced
as Dr. Tofu twisted Ranma's arm over her head[1]. Poor, Ranma, even she
didn't deserve that kind of abuse[2]. Akane reached out and tapped Dr.
Tofu on the arm.
"Doctor, I think Ranma is cured now..."
Dr. Tofu turned his happily oblivious gaze on her, "What was that Ranma?"
"I'm Akane, doctor, I think Ranma is cured now."
"He is? Congratulations Ranma."
Ranma twisted her arm back in socket, "Thanks Akane. You're a life
saver."
Akane blushed, Ranma never said things like that to her. Well not
very often. There was something in the air. Maybe this was the start of
something special. Maybe Ranma was going to change...maybe they could
finally fall in love. Everything would be new and special. Nabiki and
Kuno could get married when they did. It would be great...then again it
could just be the author of the fanfic messing with people's minds again.
"What are you blushing about? It's not like I said you're cute or
nothin'"
"WHAT?!!!!"
"opps"
<POW>
-------
[1] Yeah, it doesn't sound very impressive, but I couldn't think of a
description for a slip knot.
[2] Besides, if she did, Akane preferred to be the one to hand it out.
-----------
Nabiki was curious. It was in her nature. She wanted to know what
was going on, then she wanted to make people pay her to stay quiet about
it. It was in her nature. Morphine had taken the groceries into the kitchen
over ten minutes ago. During that time, Tofu had talked to Kasumi, a hat
rack, and the door jam. Ranma had managed to get clobbered. And father
had lost to Mr. Saotome. Nothing seemed out of place. Or very likely to
be something to keep quiet about. Except that Morphine was still in the
kitchen. Since she was naturally curious, and exceedingly bored, Nabiki
decided to find out what was going on in the kitchen.
He had his back to her. She could see that he'd put away the
groceries, and started dinner. There was an unwritten rule at the Tendo
hall, only Kasumi cooked in the kitchen[1]. It was her part of the house.
It was more hers than her room. It was the kind of thing that you ask
before doing. Maybe there was some money to be made after all...
"Well, you know how it is. Kasumi's busy and if I ask, she'll feel
obligated to do it herself."
He never even turned to look at her. Nabiki felt a drop of sweat roll
down her back. And there was definitely no way he could know what she was
thinking...
"Unless I have ooky scary powers. I was an evil sorcerer you know.
You pick these things up."
"You're reading my mind."
"If you don't tell I won't."
"That's my line."
"No, your line is, 'If you don't pay I'll tell'"
"Good point. If you don't pay, I'll tell."
"You win, what do you want?"
"What do you mean, what do I want? I want money. I thought you could
read my mind."
"Are you sure you want money? I mean barter is far more negotiable
and Tatewaki probably wouldn't mind if people just owed you favors."
"That's pretty low."
"Oh come on, why do you think I started this conversation. Surely you
don't think I care if you tell anyone."
Nabiki could feel the sweat all over her body. No one just tried to
help people for free. She was really going to be in trouble here. Who
knew what an evil sorcerer would want in trade....
"How about your soul."
"What?"
"It was a joke. Tell you what, you go back out there and ask Kasumi
what I'm talking about, about the store, and then don't do anything."
"That's stupid."
"Well there you go, you get the better part of the deal."
-------
[1] Well, Akane tried, but that didn't count as cooking.
-----------
He looked at the board carefully. His strategy had to be perfect or
he would loose the piece. The indications were all there. The nervous
glances, the false confidence. Yes, it had to be . . .
"A5."
Soun's eyes got really big, then, "Whhhhaaaa you sunk my battleship!!!"
Genma smiled, the world was good. He noticed Nabiki coming back out
of the kitchen. The perfect ploy.
"I wonder what Nabiki was just doing in the kitchen?"
Soun turned to look. Perfect. The sub was nearly destroyed, it
should probably go up to the top of the board. Soun had been searching
down the game board, moving the sub up the board would assure its safety.
Genma wondered if there was time to get the carrier to safety, but Soun
was turning back...
"She was probably just helping with the groceries."
"Without a bribe?"
"Hmmmm, you're right Saotome, that is suspicious. Do you think it may
be an omen?"
"You could be right Tendo. But is it good or bad? Oh well, its your
turn Tendo."
"A1."
Damn. It was a trick strategy. It should have been obvious. Clean
out a good chunk of the board and then let him move his pieces there.
Very clever.
"That's the sub Tendo."
"Did you hear that Dad?"
"What is it Akane?"
"Kasumi won a trip to the mountains! To a ski resort!"
Soun leapt to his feet. Now there was the perfect distraction, Genma
switched the sets. Ah, yes Tendo's fleet was in much better shape than
his. Now he could join in the celebration.
"That's wonderful Kasumi. When is this trip scheduled to take place?"
"Its for next week, Mr. Saotome. The plane leaves on Monday morning."
Soun began to do a little dance, "We're going skiing! We're going
skiing!"
"Ah, it will be good to get away from the daily grind for a while."
Ski resorts were really good places for romance. The cold evenings
of sitting around the fire and cuddling up for warmth. It was perfect.
This would put Akane and Ranma on the road to marriage for sure. Genma
grabbed Soun's arm, and whispered a plan in his ear.
"Saotome! You're a genius!"
"This time for sure!"
-----------
Ranma looked at Akane, and Akane looked at her. It was the "oh shit"
look. They had developed it over the past couple of years to help
communicate the inevitable ring. It was obviously going to be showing up
on this trip. And where the ring went, fights followed. It might have
been nice to get away, but not now. Now the trip would be spent worrying
about the ring. Damn.
"aw man, i'm sick of this. why can't we just make up our own minds
about our marriage."
Akane managed not to faint. Ranma had said "our marriage". It hadn't
been a question. It was a statement of fact. She was going to marry
her. She didn't even hint that it wouldn't happen. For some reason it
wasn't a complete shock. Maybe it was just acceptance, but maybe it was
love. There was no way to be sure...then again...
"they just want you to make a commitment ranma."
Ranma looked at her. For a long time. Akane started to sweat.
"quit staring at me ranma."
"do you want me to make a commitment?"
"what?"
"do you want me to make a commitment?"
Akane thought about it. This was probably Ranma's way of testing
her. Well, if Ranma thought she'd back down she had another thought coming.
"yes ranma. make a commitment."
"will you marry me akane?"
The world fell over[1]. Akane was sure it was the world. She
couldn't possibly feel this light headed just because Ranma had... .
..Ranma proposed....oh god....it couldn't ... ..she had always though...
.. . .well there should have been. . ...flowers. ...candle light . .
.something . . ...the man of your dreams didn't whisper a proposal .
..while no one is paying attention...
-------
[1] Probably in shock. Who would have thought Ranma would propose to
Akane in a fanfic. Why it was a one in a million thing...then again
there were a lot of fanfics[2].
[2] Most of them were done by Richard Lawson last weekend.
-----------
She did not get the better end of the bargain. It was next to
impossible just to sit there and not do anything. Ranma and Akane were
whispering to each other. The look on Akane's face told her it had to be
something juicy. Mr. Saotome had just switched his game pieces with
daddy's. That was all sort of normal, but Kasumi had a sad yet happy
look on her face...Nabiki tried to remember the last time she had even
seen Kasumi look sad. It had been years. The question was why? Would
it be considered doing something if she asked? If it was up to her it
would. That was the problem, she would be judged by her own opinions.
She was screwed.
Tofu was looking at Kasumi in an odd way. He seemed to be the only
other person in the room paying her any attention. Daddy and Mr. Saotome
were plotting Ranma and Akane's next ring episode. Ranma was watching
Akane who was apparently trying not to faint. Kasumi was just waiting
patiently.
"Kasumi? Is something wrong?"
Nabiki was impressed, Dr. Tofu had managed to speak coherently. He
also managed to speak directly to Kasumi. Maybe there was more to Dr. Tofu
than met the eye.
Kasumi turned to look at him, she smiled a little smile, "Well, there
are only five tickets."
The room went silent. Suddenly it was filled with the sounds of
people counting. It was still technically silent, but it was a different
kind of silence. It was the silence behind deep thought, it was filled
up with numbers and mathematic symbols. It was embarrassing how stupid
her family seemed to be. It took more than a few seconds for most of
them to realize that someone was getting left out.
Mr. Saotome snapped his fingers, "Ha! We can leave master Happosai at
the dojo!"
Daddy slapped Mr. Saotome on the back, "Saotome, you're a genius."
"Happosai would make seven Daddy. Someone else has to stay here with
him."
Something small bald and perverse dropped into her lap and snuggled up
to her breasts, "Ah, my dearest Nabiki, how kind of you to volunteer to
take care of me while everyone is gone!"
"if you don't get off my lap right now, i'll tell everyone that you
spy on mr. saotome when he's bathing."
"but, but i never..."
"they don't know that."
"Ranma," cried Happosai launching himself from her lap toward Ranma's
chest, "comfort me at your..."
<POW>
"Oh no. Saotome, the master has become lodged in the roof. What will
we do? I guess we will have to leave him here at home while we go to the
resort with all the beautiful women."
There was some muffled ranting coming from the roof, but everyone
ignored it. Daddy and Mr. Saotome appeared to have forgotten the real
problem and were celebrating Happosai's defeat. Ranma was looking riled,
and Akane was looking at Ranma.
"I suppose I will stay here and take care of the house while everyone
is gone."
Nabiki wanted to scream. Everyone went right along with that. Kasumi
won the tickets, and now she was going to be stuck at home while everyone
else went off to have fun. It wasn't fair. Not that fair was really her
strong point, but Nabiki was beginning to get a little annoyed with this.
The person being left at home should have been Mr. Saotome, or maybe
father. It was just too much. And here she was stuck. She had promised
not to do anything. It wasn't worth it. Morphine could ask for
something else. There were foot steps behind her. It had to be Morphine.
"Tofu. Tofu! HEY PUNK!"
Morphine. It was like he was two different people. He treated
everyone one way, except Dr. Tofu. He treated Dr. Tofu like...well she
wasn't sure if it was friendship, or brotherhood, or something else she
just couldn't fathom. He was always teasing Dr. Tofu. Dr. Tofu never
seemed to mind. It seemed like it must have been malicious sometimes,
but then Dr. Tofu would turn around and laugh with him about it. It was
weird. Not as weird as Ranma and Ryoga, but it was weird.
"Did Kasumi tell you?"
Dr. Tofu actually turned toward Morphine, "Tell me what, Ranma?"
"About the tremendous angst and despair that the world feels every
minute. About the starving millions in out there in the streets. Of the
soldiers bleeding in the gutters. Did she mention any of that to you?"
Dr. Tofu's glasses lost a bit of their fogged look, "What?"
Morphine smiled, "It didn't really seem like the kind of thing she'd
say, but I thought I ought to check. Well, barring that, did she tell you
the good news?"
"About winning the trip?"
"Oh, no. She invited us to dinner tonite. She really wanted to have
dinner with you."
As she fell over Nabiki noticed Tofu's glasses fogging over. She also
noticed how Kasumi blushed and uttered a startled "oh my". Her sister
was blushing. Kasumi never blushed. It was unimaginable. It...it meant
that she really did want Dr. Tofu to come to dinner. It meant that she
was thinking about him. It meant things were going to make a big change.
What would happen if Kasumi started going out with Tofu? Well, he'd
probably lose a lot of business...
"Oh dear, I've forgotten to start dinner."
"That's, odd. Dinner was on the stove when I left the kitchen. Are
you sure?"
Nabiki tried not to fall over again, Kasumi never gave anyone that
critical a stare. It was like she was judging everything about him.
There were going to be changes, there was no doubt about that.
"Perhaps I should go check and see if the dinner in the kitchen is done."
Nabiki started sweating, it was completely out of character for her
sister. It was...
Dr. Tofu turned to Kasumi, "You'll have to forgive him, he does good
deeds on impulse."
Nabiki put a hand on the floor to help keep herself up right. Dr. Tofu
had just said something completely rational. To Kasumi.
Kasumi's look softened, "How sweet."
Nabiki waited, any minute now the world was going to end.
-----------
The world didn't end. It didn't even think about it. It had already
hashed through this end of everything scenario a bit back. It had come to
the conclusion that death was over rated and that it would rather fade
away. Not that this made any difference to the doommongers[1] and
terminally depressed angst junkies. They figured the world would get sick
of them any time now and just kick it all off. They were also not
featured in this story, so forget you read this part.
-------
[1] Most of the doom players didn't care either. They were just waiting
for ID to fix the Internet sync bug in Quake. And for a map editor
that was in some way intuitive and easy to use.
-----------
They had dinner. The food was good, everyone said so. Kasumi looked
embarrassed. Akane looked thoughtful. Ranma looked hungry[1]. Tofu
looked distracted, and Morphine looked happy. Until SHE came. Then
things started to go wrong[2].
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
Everyone knew that voice. It was followed by the inevitable twin
splash of two people avoiding ritual suicide[3].
"ranma you were already a girl."
"i was just making sure."
"Mrs. Saotome! Its so nice to see you again. We were just having
dinner, won't you come in and join us."
"Why thank you Kasumi. I was actually just stopping by to see if you
had seen Ranma or Genma recently. I was hoping to see them, just once.
Even if they aren't done training. Just for a little while. I get so
lonely."
Ranma looked like she might bust out in tears any minute, Akane was
looking at Ranma looking miserable.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. You are all so nice to me, and here I am putting
my troubles off on you."
"That's all right, we understand."
"Guess what Mrs. Saotome, Kasumi won a trip to a ski resort!"
"Why that's wonderful! Kasumi you must be very excited."
Kasumi didn't look very excited. She looked worried, "I suppose."
"What's the matter Kasumi?"
"Well, there are five tickets, but, " now there was the problem of
explaining the overcrowding. Mr. Panda didn't count as a person any
more.
Mrs. Saotome looked at Mr. Panda and then at Soun, "Oh, I see the
problem. Who will stay and take care of Mr. Panda, and who will go to
act as chaperone? Soun Tendo, you poor man. Why didn't you just come
out and say so. I'd be more than glad to help. I can stay here and take
care of Mr. Panda while your gone. It would be no trouble at all."
"Well, that's a ... um.. very nice offer, but ...um... Mr. Panda
requires special care. I think..."
"But are you sure? I mean, its not often that you have this kind of
chance."
"Oh, I'm sure we'll manage."
"If your sure, then I'd be more than happy to chaperone your daughters
on this trip."
"But...I ... we...whaaaaa!"
Mr. Panda was waving a sign: Pets travel free!!!!!!!
"Oh its all right. It will be nice to get away. I hope you and Mr.
Panda have fun at home while we're gone..."
Soun stopped wailing and turned to look evilly at Mr. Panda, "Oh yes.
Fun. I'm sure we'll have fun."
Mr. Panda started to sweat: Uh oh!
Morphine looked up at the roof, "You're doing this on purpose aren't you!"
Everyone watched Morphine yell at the roof[4], Nabiki explained to
Mrs. Saotome that he was insane and not to pay any attention to him.
Everyone had a good laugh, and the author figured everyone would ignore a
poorly worded closing paragraph.
-------
[1] Big surprise there.
[2] You were wondering where this was going weren't you...
[3] Some people have got no sense of adventure.
[4] Except Happosai. He wasn't sure what it was he was being accused of,
but if they weren't going to tell it to his face he wasn't going to give
them a reply.
-----------
"Hey don't look at me! I didn't do anything!"
Fellowship opened her mouth to reply to Sarcasm, but she realized that
he wasn't talking to her. He was talking to Morphine. Morphine couldn't
even hear him. It was stupid. Sarcasm was arguing with the table of the
gods. Fellowship wanted to scream. This was so stupid. It was also so
typical of Sarcasm. He cared if someone thought he was controlling their
fate. No one else cared, but Sarcasm did. It was the way he cared about
stupid things and didn't worry about the important stuff. That's what
made her so mad. She couldn't understand anything he did. There were
just no good reasons. She wanted to make him tell her what in the world was
going on. Why did he know everything. Why did it matter whether the
mortals thought he was in control or not? It was driving her crazy. How
could he just watch?!
"There is no control, Fellowship. You let the world run itself, it
doesn't need much help."
"Then what are we here for?"
"To give insight into human emotion and motives to THE ONE."
"But THE ONE is gone, Sarcasm."
"Is he?"
"Have you seen him?"
"Occasionally."
That was even worse. Now Sarcasm was seeing the first of the
Gods...well the young gods. Sure. Sarcasm was just crazy. He was
saying that to make her mad and she didn't care if he read that off he
mind or not!
"Let me guess, I'm supposed to be offended now?"
-----------
She stood up. Now mother was going to be going with them. It felt
good, but it wasn't going to be easy. She was going to have to be
careful. Akane leaned over to her.
"Ranko,"
"What?"
"Yes."
"Yes? Hey whadda ya mean yes? Should I. . . .know....yes?...yes...but
that. . . .they..she....Akane?..."
"Oh dear, Ranko's fainted!"
"The poor girl, the excitement must have been too much for her."