Heres part 7. Um...about 6b....um...its just one of those things ok.
I'm going to take my medication now....
Characters by Takahashi.
Matthew Trotter, all work and no play makes Matt a dull boy. All work
and no play makes Matt a dull boy. All work and no play
makes Matt a dull boy. All work and no play makes Matt a
dull boy. All work and no play makes Matt a dull boy.
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Escape From Nerima
--------------------------
Part seven: Akuna Matata
--------------------------
It means no worries
For the rest of your days
-like I know who wrote that
--------------------------
He was in front of the fire. It was warm. It was comfy. It had been
a long time since he actually woke up in a house. Well, besides when he
was P-chan. Ryoga knew he'd miss waking up in Akane's arms...but still,
it was better to be whole. Ryoga cracked an eye, where the hell was he?
Was he back home? Were his parents...no, wait, this was that mountain
resort that Ranma and Akane were at. Kasumi had told him it would be
all right for him to sleep in front of the fire since the manager was
feeling sick and wouldn't bother him. Ranma and Akane. He didn't like
the sound of that. Ranma was sleeping with Akane. She had said it was
ok since they were both girls. That and there was Ranma's
mother....RANMA WAS SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED AS AKANE?!?!?!?!!!!!??!!!!!
"Good morning, Ryoga. Are you ready for breakfast?"
"Huh?"
"Were you still asleep?"
"Uh, no, Mrs. Saotome. I, uh.."
"Oh don't worry, I'm sure Ranko and Akane will be up soon. I'll just
put on something for everyone. Hello, Kasumi, how are you today?"
"Hello, Mrs. Saotome. Hello, Ryoga."
"So did, you and Ranko make up last night?"
"Uh..yes..we...uh made...uh up."
"You doe, when you make up your supposed to giss."
"Glad you're feeling better today, Nabiki."
"Good morning, Nabiki. Good morning, Ranko."
Ryoga just sat there. It was like a circus. Any time now Akane would
be down, and that....RANMA SLEPT WITH AKANE!!!!! No! nonononononononono
if he thought about it there was a definite kiss and make up on the
horizon. Akane and Ranma was bad, but kiss and make up was worse. There
had to be something else to think about. Akane said she wanted to go
skiing today. He had never skied, but it didn't look to hard. If he
concentrated on that...but the injustice...nononono...he had to wait.
Yes, he could kill Ranma when they got on the slopes...only Ranma didn't
look much like a slavering drooling pervert right now...she looked like
she had just woke up.
"Hey, Ryoga, you ever ski before?"
"What?"
"Did you ever ski before, Mr. Frosty?"
"I can do it if you can. Anything you do doesn't take much skill."
"Oh yeah? At least I can ice skate."
"Shut up!!"
Ranma's mother walked over to her, "Ranko, don't tease Ryoga. You two
can learn to ski together. It will be romantic."
I will not respond to that. I will not respond to that. I won't kill
Ranma till we're on the slopes. I won't kill Ranma till we're on the
slopes. Akane thinks we're friends too. I....damn....he was never going
to get to kill Ranma at this rate.
--------------------------
OK, she was a big girl. She could admit to herself when she made
mistakes. Like with Akane Tendo...UHG! (How in the hell did Ranma's
mother talk her into taking a bath with Akane?) Don't think about that,
don't think of it...OK. Now maybe it wasn't the brightest idea to wear a
leotard up a mountain when you were planning an ambush. Maybe, just
maybe, it would have been a better idea to put on some warm clothing.
Not that, after two hours on top of old frosty (or whatever this stinking
mountain was called), it would have made much difference. If Akane Tendo
didn't show up soon, Kodachi guessed, the only use Ranma would have for
her would be as a drink cooler.
It just wasn't fair. She never got the good side of anything. Any
time she tried to do anything Akane Tendo showed up to wreck it. Her big
kiss with Ranma, the repulsion potion, everything! It was too cold to
wait in the tree any more, after this I won't ever, EVER wear this stupid
leotard again. Kodachi landed next to the tree. The snow was ankle
deep. And DAMN COLD!!!!! She rushed over to a rock that was still
uncovered and began stamping the snow off of her slippers. It was too
damn cold! Next time her brother told her to sit by a fire and not
bother someone she was damn well going to listen. This was stupid. She
rubbed her legs to warm them up. She should just go back to the lodge
and forget Akane.
"Come on you two, I thought you were men."
Akane Tendo? Kodachi looked around, Akane was just coming into
sight. She was leading the pig tailed girl and her boy friend Ryoga.
Kodachi smiled, at least the pig tailed girl knew when she was beaten.
Now if only Akane Tendo would accept defeat so quickly. Men? Who else?
Of course! Ranma had to be around here somewhere!! Throwing herself
into motion, Kodachi closed on the unsuspecting Akane.
"Akane Tendo prepare to,"<stumble>
Akane was looking around, it would have been too late for her, if not
for the snow covered rock a few steps back. Now she watched in amazement
as Kodachi rushed by. The humiliation of it would have been too much,
but Kodachi was worried more with stopping before she went plunging down
the side of the snow covered slope. Somehow she managed. Spinning
around, she faced Akane once more.
"Akane Tendo you must die!"
"But, Kodachi..."
"No! After what you did to me last night I will destroy you!!!"
Akane moved forward apologetically, "Kodachi, I'm sorry. It ... it
was... it was my fault, I should have known better."
Kodachi took a step backwards, there was no way she was going to let
Akane get close to her. Not after...uh oh. The word plummet rose to the
top of her mind unbidden. The ground, too, rose to her mind, but a lot
harder...<POW>
As she slid/tumbled/rolled down the mountain it occurred to Kodachi
that a bit of <bonk> forethought <bipity bap> might <ouch> have <whud>
prevented[1] <bounce> that was going to leave a bruise <POCK> good thing
that snow bank was there to break the fall...so soft and cushiony...almost
like being in bed...call me for supper momy....
--------------------------
[1] Help Tip #35: Walking backwards down a mountain may result in bodily
harm. If you want to turn off these worthless hints type
"deltree Brain95" at the BOS prompt.
--------------------------
She watched as Kodachi tumbled down the mountain. She was probably
OK, but maybe...
"I think we ought....wh. .why are you looking at me like that?"
Ranma and Ryoga continued to stare at her, finally Ranma spoke,
"What...what did you do?"
Akane blushed, she couldn't help it. She could remember the feel of
Kodachi's silky warm body squirming under her touch. It had been a bad
idea, though it seemed funny at the time.
"I tickled her when we were in the bath and she slipped and fell. It
was all my fault, I just wanted to lighten the mood. What? What were
you thinking?!"
"N..n..nothing."
Ranma looked guilty, Ryoga looked relieved. It could mean only one
thing...those . . .those . . .PERVERTS!!!!!
"I .... I can't believe you were... YOU... YOU IDIOTS!!!!!"
Ranma shoved Ryoga toward the slope and slid after him, "Come on
Ryoga, I think Akane wants to be alone right now!"
Those idiots, neither of them knew how to ski, you could tell...nobody
with any dignity would wave their arms and scream that much unless they
were genuinely terrified. She couldn't believe Ryoga though...she had
always thought he was so nice...it was probably Ranma. She had probably
told Ryoga. . .that . . .well...come to think of it, it was true....stupid
Ranma. It didn't mean she had to tell everyone...Akane pushed off, and
headed down the slope. There was no sense in letting those two get
lost. They would probably end up in a fight again...
--------------------------
Ryoga had straightened up a bit. He wasn't doing too bad....except
for that rock up ahead of him...
"R. r.r...ry.y..Ryoga," Ranma pinwheeled her arms for balance, "look
. .loook ooout!!!"
It was really embarrassing that Ryoga could figure out how to balance
on skis before she could. She could see Ryoga looking around
desperately, no hope, he was going to hit the rock. Maybe it was
small enough he would . ...n' . ..t ... his skis stopped dead when they
hit the rock, Ryoga flipped head over heels twice before coming to rest
on his back. Ranma knew how to stop. She'd seen it done on TV, all you
did was turn side<FLOPPOW>w.w.a.a.y.y..s.s.
"hehehehe..."
That sounded like Ryoga...it was hard to be sure with half her body
buried in the snow like it was though...what was that idiot laughing about?
"hehe...you just fell over...hehehehe..."
"Yeah? Well you did a flip pig boy!"
"..hehehe...you just fell...hehehe...your face...hehehehe"
"Its not that funny Ryoga! Do you have a brain injury or what?"
"ahhahahaha..hehehehe"
Maybe Ryoga did get hurt...Ranma tried to push up right, but the skis
slid in the snow and she lost her balance and fell back into the snow.
"Ryoga! I can't get up!!!"
"hahahahahehehe...you've fallen ...hehe...and you can't get up...hahahaha"
Ranma laughed, she couldn't help it, that was funny. She could hear
Ryoga moving around back where he'd fallen. Some snow slid down and
pelted her.
"hehe, I'm up! I'm, waaaaa!"
Something heavy landed in the snow next to her, and someone[1] grabbed
her. Then they both started to slide...they stopped after a few feet.
"hehehe...I fall down and go boom..."
"Wahahahahahahaha..."
--------------------------
[1] ooooh the mystery I wonder who that might be?!
--------------------------
She found them there, half way down the slope, laughing their heads
off. They were half buried in the snow, it was obvious one of them had
pulled the other down. Probably Ranma, she was the type to be jealous of
Ryoga for learning to ski.
"Look, Ryoga, its Akane! She came to save us...hehe"
"We fall down and go boom...hahahahahaha"
"Are you two OK?"
"hehehe..."
"...hahaha"
Akane shook her head, they would deny that they were friends to the
dying breath, but here there were laying in the snow laughing together.
Sometimes you had to wonder. Well, it was obvious that she was going to
have to help these two idiots up...
"Ryoga, give me your hand, I'm going to pull you up."
Ryoga's eyes glazed over and he stopped laughing, "Yyy.y.yYes, Akane..."
She got Ryoga on his feet, he was facing the wrong way, but that was
something to worry about in a minute, she still had to drag Ranma off her
butt.
"Hey, Akane, I see you looking at him! He's all mine, my mom said
so...hehehehe"
Ranma must have REALY bumped her head...
"RANMA!!! SHUT UP!!!"
Akane yanked Ranma to her feet, this was really getting to be too
much. Why did she have to baby sit theses two idiots. Ranma's eyes were
wide, and she was pointing and waving...
"Ryoga! Put your skis together! Turn sideways!!! Ryoga!! Fall down
or something!!!"
She heard Ryoga utter a short but incredibly helpless sounding "mommy"
before he started screaming again. She looked up in time to see him
really begin to pick up speed. She had thought he had looked panicked
going down the hill before, since he was going down backwards she had a
clear view of the terror on his face as he picked up even more speed.
Ranma was practically throwing a fit, she threw her arms around Ranma's
waist to keep her upright, "Ranma, stop it we're going..." they slid
forward about an inch, "to fall.." Ranma had stopped moving, she was
leaning against Akane fearfully, it felt good. After all the times Ranma
had saved her, she could finally...they slid forward almost a foot...finally...
oh shit...they started sliding forward, and this time they weren't stopping.
--------------------------
She had always been pretty. In fact, if you sat and talked with her
for hours, you might begin to realize how beautiful she was. It was not
just the cut of her hair, or the shape of her body, though they were as
much as any man might be want to ask. It was who she was that made her
more than just pretty. It was the person beneath the need for money. The
person who used that money for her family. He had always wondered what
she was using it for. Some she was saving for college, but most she had
to spend on her family. She had almost convinced herself that it was not
charity, that she planned on being reimbursed.
She told him about her family and friends, their troubles and their
lives. He listened, and watched her. Maybe she knew that you could read
a persons soul by her actions, maybe not. But as she spoke she painted a
picture of them with her words, and of herself with her opinions. She
was angry inside. No one seemed able to see the stupid things they were
doing that made them miserable. She found that she could not point it
out, but if she made it expensive enough people would change their ways.
She was frustrated because she could see herself making the same
mistakes, but she let her emotions take her down the wrong paths. He
smiled. It was easy to look at another's life, but to see your own
mistakes before it is too late, it was something only the greatest men
could accomplish. It was something he hoped he might refine in his own
life. She was angry. Everything she had thought she wanted was wrong.
Money did not make you sleep well at night. Servants did not make your
heart stop aching. He wished he could tell her he understood, but it
would be to hard to explain his way to the point. She had no ear for
long speeches. She was just starring at him. She had just asked him to
explain why he was just staring at her.
"Does my attention seem inappropriate to the occasion? If this seems
so, let me deny it. There should be no limit to the attention paid to a
siren of your entrancing beauty."
"You don't even know what I said do you?"
"I believe it was something to this effect, 'I know I'm beautiful, Kuno
baby, but you don't have to drool. Are you paying attention to me? You
aren't are you. I don't know why I bothered even talking to you.'"
She blinked, and looked astonished.
"Previous to that you told me, 'I don't think Ranma and Akane have
fought nearly as much since you stopped chasing Akane and the pig-tailed
girl around. I guess that really did upset Akane. I feel bad sometimes
since I started so much of that'. I personally think you need not worry,
my behavior toward them was always poor, even with out your instigation."
Her mouth was hanging open, "Tatewaki? Do you really remember
everything I said?"
"Yes, Nabiki, I have committed your every word and motion to memory as
though it were the lyric to the greatest of plays."
She had gotten over blushing every time he started complementing her,
"What was the first thing I said to you this morning?"
"You told me that your longing for my body went beyond normal
reasoning and that you would soon vent your desires in a torrent of
passion that would surprise even me."
She crossed her arms over her chest, "Don't quit your day job, Kuno."
"Good morning, Kuno baby, did you sleep well? Kasumi and Mrs. Saotome
are making breakfast. Apparently the cook is still sick, so the lodge
will be abusing their hospitality a little longer. If you want
something, just go on in the kitchen, I'm sure they'll be slaving in
there all day."
She stared at him, after a little bit he began to feel self conscious.
It was a new kind of feeling. He wished he could go back to being
sure he was the most perfect person on the planet. She would have been
admiring him then...right now he wondered if she was not questioning his
looks versus his sanity...
"Tatewaki, have you ever failed a test?"
"Not as such, no. Though I did almost make below a ninety once when I
did not remember to read a chapter before the test."
"Where did you learn to do that?"
"It appears to be an inherited trait of my family. Perhaps one of
the few useful traits I seem to have picked up. Not that its wise for
me to divulge this to you, but I seem to have inherited both my memory
and madness from my father."
"Tatewaki, everyone feels crazy sometimes. I don't think your any
crazier than the rest of us. I used to think you were, but after this
vacation, I think your about the sane as the rest of us."
He opened his mouth to tell her that it was her interest in him that
was clouding her perspective, but he stopped. That would irritate her,
it also sounded pretty egotistical now that he thought of it. Maybe her
judgment was clouded, then again maybe she knew what she was talking
about. In any case, the topic was moving toward an angry resolution if
he did not steer them away from it.
"You are sounding much better now Nabiki, I believe you are recovering
from your cold quite well. Perhaps you will be recovered enough to walk
with me tonight."
She looked at him again, she appeared to be on the verge of saying
something, then stopped. After a moment she smiled, "I would like that,
Tatewaki."
--------------------------
This was Ranma's fault. It had to be, everything else always was.
Now he was lost in the middle of nowhere. On skis. Great. He could
still see Ranma .. .. come to think of it he did remember something about
Ranma trying to tell him to be careful...damn. It wasn't Ranma's fault.
That had never mattered before, but now . . .it was no use, the author
was probably one of those people who thought that he and Ranma ought to
be buddies(UGGGH). That still didn't change the fact that he was alone in
a vast[1] wilderness with nothing but the cloths on his back and a pair
of skis[2]. Ranma had probably convinced Akane to forget about him by
now(hey that's better), they were probably...no they were both girls...um
they were probably....probably...uh...what did Ranma and Akane do when he
wasn't there...fight? They were probably fighting...hmmmm...hard to be
jealous of that...there had to be something else...they were probably at
a really good movie! Yeah, it was just like Ranma to ..drag...Akane...OK,
OK, there wasn't a theater for miles.. . . .....that left...oh yeah!
They were probably back at the lodge having a nice warm lunch( when did it
get so late? Better make that late lunch) that Kasumi and Ranma's mother
cooked. Man, a nice warm anything was starting to sound pretty good.
This was all Ranma's fault! He was going to....
"Wait, Akane, look! In the trees!"
That sounded like . . . Ranma?
"Ryoga! Hey! Ryoga! Over here dummy! Come on, dummy, its freezing
out here!"
Damn! This was one of those buddy stories after all. As Ryoga
trudged toward Ranma and Akane he felt the depression and angst melt
away[4].
--------------------------
[1] Well, vast for a guy who gets lost on the way to his own backyard...
[2] That's the great thing about skis. You always know where you are with
a pair of skis[3].
[3] You're on a pair of skis. The real question is, where are the skis?
[4] Which just served to annoy him even more.