I was wondering if anyone has written a fib so disturbing, it even
disturbs the author?  Well this one disturbs me.  Its just cold and
evil.  Yes this is a dark fic, but it can also be considered a fic.
Enjoy.  By the way, I would really like to know what everyone thinks of
this one so please give C+C.  Thanks.

All characters in this story don't belong to me, I'm just borrowing them
without permission.  So if you object to my using them, its too late so
there.

I'm Shinji Ikari

"Hello there, I'm Noriko Idohara."  The young woman in a white coat sat
opposite Shinji Ikari who was nervously looking around the room.

"I'm Shinji.  Shinji Ikari.  What is this place?  This isn't the NERV
hospital."

"This is a special mental trauma center.  I'm here to see how you are
doing."

"Mental trauma?  Why would I be mentally traumatized?  Who is that woman
over there in the window?"

Noriko takes a deep breath before continuing.  "Lets start from the
beginning.  How would you describe your childhood?

Shinji starts to calm down as he answers her question.  "Well, its been
eventful.  Ever since my mother died, its been hard.  We had to keep
moving all over because of father's job and the problems caused by the
Second Impact, but we've managed to get by I guess."

"Tell me more about your father."

"He's been great.  He took it really hard when mother died, but he's
done everything he can to give us a better life."

"Who is 'us'?"

"Oh, you mean me, father and Rei."

"Rei?"

"Yeah, she's my sister.  She took mom's death hard too.  She's really
quiet, but we get along well."

The woman writes something down on her clipboard, but Shinji couldn't
see what it said.  "Now Shinji, could you tell me more about your
sister?"

"Well, like I said, she's really quiet, but she helps out as much as she
can.  But for some reason, she doesn't like my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?"

"Ya, Asuka.  Why are you asking me these questions?"

Noriko set her pencil down.  She felt this examination needed to be
stopped so Shinji could understand exactly what happened to him.

"Listen, you received some extensive psychological injury in your last
fight with an angel.  What you have just told me is not exactly
reality.  Rei and Asuka are Eva pilots just like you..."

"NO!  You are lying!  You are keeping me from my family.  Why?  I want
to know why am I here?"

"Shinji, this is not really you."  She was speaking in a soft voice,
hoping he will calm down.  "You work for NERV and..."

"Father works for NERV, me, Rei, Asuka, we are just kids.  We don't go
out and fight those things."

"Shinji, you know what you are saying isn't true.  You are..."

"I know who I am.  I'm Shinji Ikari!"  He suddenly stands up and looks
straight at the figure in the window.  "I'm Shinji Ikari!  SHINJI
IKARI!"

Two doctors grab a hold of Shinji and pull him away to his room.  Noriko
stands up and exits the door.  She then goes over to the young woman and
takes a deep breath.  "Well it looks like he didn't even recognize you."

"It looks that way."  Misato looks through the glass again just in time
to see Shinji pulled into his room.  Well doctor?  What's wrong with
him?

"It appears his memory has been damaged so much it has effected his
memory.  From what the neurologist said, I think this is irreversible.
This means,"

"This means he won't be able to pilot again."

"I don't think he will be able to cope with society again."

"I didn't want to be the one to say it, but I think you're right.  Would
it be ok if I brought Asuka or Rei here to see him?"

"Not anytime soon.  He needs some time to get things sorted out.  Its a
mess up there in his brain and I think that if he saw them not as he
thinks they should be would only make things worse."

"I see."

Four hours later, Misato meets Gendo in his office.

"I'm afraid Shinji will not be able to pilot Unit 01 again."  Misato was
forlorn as she gave details of the examination.

"So the doctor doesn't think he will ever see the outside again."

"She also feels Shinji shouldn't see anyone.  It would only disturb him
even more."

"Does anyone else know about this?"

"No.  Besides Risuko, everyone else thinks he is at the hospital
recovering."

"Good.  He knows too much sensitive information about Evas and NERV.
Since its been determined he is no longer of use to us, I'm afraid we
will have to dispose of him."

"What? You mean kill him?  How could you say that?  You're his father."

Commander Ikari is still able to keep his cool voice and unmoved by
Misato's comments.  "I know who I am.  He has served his purpose.  And
besides, it seems it would be better if he doesn't have to suffer."

"I don't think its necessary.  For the first time, he has happy
memories.  The doctor said Shinji has been upbeat since he had been
there for the past two months with the examinations being the
exception."

"Still, it would be detrimental to NERV should he fall into the hands of
our enemies.  I am going to order the doctor to inject an air bubble
into his bloodstream when he gets his medicine tonight."

Author's notes:  Since everyone knows I work in a minimum security
mental hospital, for those who are curious, no this is not a real
psychological disorder that I'm aware of.  Its a combination of symptoms
of different memory disorders I know of, plus some I made up.