I like your story so far, but there are a few things you need to
deal with.

	First is the fact that whatever word processor/mailer combination
you're using is causing all of the quotation marks and apostrophies to
come out as control character combinations.

	This can be both annoying, and interrupt the story flow for the
reader.

	There are a few consistant mis-spellings. A good example is
phonix. This should be phoenix. There are some others, but there are
minor, and do NOT detract from the story.

	Otherwise, nice start. I will be looking forward to seeing chapter
4. 

	Best of luck, okay?

	Ed Becerra

	"Dreamers may die, but the dream is eternal..."