The story is very well written, and your writing style is easy to read.
 It does a good job of showing Ranma willing to suffer a fate worse than
death (TM) for Akane.

    That said, I hated it.  Don't get me wrong, I don't like most great works
of fiction.  I can enjoy the writing, but they get me depressed, and that
makes me never want to read it again.
    However, what most turned me off was you pushed one of my buttons.  You
brought in mental control, especially with love.  I HATE love potions, and
all that other mind control.  Such a violation of who you are.  Just my luck
it's a common plot device, eh?  So I liked the story, and feel it was well
done, but it invokes a great feeling of loathing in me.  (Of course, I feel
this way, to a lesser degree, about Iago in "Othello," so you''ve got goo
company.

  Sorry, I had to get this out.  Thanks for listening.

Matt