So, one day, your sitting around, doing nothing, and you decide to check
the ML, and the first thing you find is...
H H
HHH
H HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN JUSENKYO CURSE
With your host, Dustin Goeller!!!
(Open to a lovely day at the infamous cursed training grounds of Jusenkyo.
Pan left to right, stopping as a young handsome man [that's me!] comes into
view)
Dustin: Welcome to 'How To Make Your Own Jusenkyo Curse.' I am your host,
Dustin Goeller. (You clap and scream: DUSTIN GOELLER! HE'S SUCH A HUNK. I
COULD DIE IF I COULD GET HIM INTO... you get the idea.)
Dustin: I am here in the backwoods of China to teach you how to make your
very own Jusenkyo Spring, complete with the curse of your choice. I will
take you through each step, and here to help me is a man know only as 'The
Guide!' (Guide head pops in from side; Dustin's head turns to face him) So
tell us, Mr. Guide, what is it do you do exactly?
Guide: (Facing Dustin) Well, sir, I am guide of these...
Dustin: (Interrupting) Please, Mr. Guide, would you face the camera.
Guide: Huh? You sirs taking my picture?
Dustin: Um, No. We are on an international mailing-list. Millions... well,
hundreds... um, well, 10 or so people are watching this via FFML-o-VISION.
I would try not to embarrass... (Guide turns around and begin's to unbuckle
pants) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Guide: Me on American Television!?! Me want to be like guys on 'NYPD Blue!'
Dustin: DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?!? We are on an international
Mailing-list! _NOT_ American Television! Put your pants back on NOW! (Guide
quickly complies)
Guide: (Pants back on; Facing Dustin) International Mailing-list. NYPD
Blue. All sound same to me!
Dustin: Please! Mr. Guide! Would you please just face the camera and tell
us what you do!
Guide: Yes sirs! Whatever you say! (Turns to camera) I am guide of these
cursed training ground. Every spring have own tragic curse! My job in day
to take people here and give them exclusive tour of springs. Job at night,
male-stripper at Jusenkyo nudie-bar. (Begins to dance.)
Voice off-screen: Blech, I... I Think I'm going to be sick. (Man runs past.
Vomiting sounds are soon heard in distance)
Guide: No! No throw-up in that spring! That spring of drowned Elvis-
impersonator. Very tragic story! Elvis-impersonator drown in that spring 17
years ago. Now... *SPLASH*
Elvis Voice: (Off-Scene) Thank-you, thank-you-very-much.
Guide: Never mind.
Dustin: Egads!!! What is that thing? (Camera pans left to show a balding
man with a _very_ pronounced beer-belly wearing Elvis Garb; The man notices
the camera and does what comes naturally; He begins to thrust his pelvis
towards it)
Voice #1: (Off-Scene) Oh my GOD!
Voice #2: (Off-Scene) Someone get the tranquilizer gun quick!
Dustin: Hurry up!!! He's beginning to foam at the mouth!!!
Voice #3: (Off-Scene) Here it is!
Voice #2: (Off-Scene) Don't just stand there! Shoot the bastard!
Voice #3: (Off-Scene) But isn't there a law against shooting wild animals?
Voice #1: (Off-Scene) This is CHINA you dope! The only law is "Say only
good about the Chinese Government if you want to see your family alive
again!"
Dustin: If you aren't going to shoot him, I will. Toss the gun to me. (A
rifle is tossed to him) Damn it, (he cocks it and aims) if you want
something done, you gotta do it yourself. (He fires) *BANG*
Elvis-Impersinator: *GROWL* (He reaches down to his _large_ stomach, and
grasps it in pain.)
Voice #1: (Off-Scene) Yes! You got the little bastard!
Voice #3: (Off-Scene) Wait, what's he doing?
Elvis-Impersinator: *SNORT* (He begins to stumble slowly to the camera)
Dustin: He's not going down!
Voice #3: (Off-Scene) Someone tackle him!
Voice #2: (Off-Scene) You do it!
Voice #3: (Off-Scene) What!?! I'm not touching that thing!
Dustin: Oh for gods sake!
Guide: Sake?!? Where?
Dustin: (To guide) Keep the crappy puns to yourself!
(The Elvis-Impersinator picks up his pace, and begins to hurry towards the
camera.)
Voice #2: (Off-Scene) EEK!!! He's coming right this way!
Voice #1: (Off-Scene) Someone get the shotgun!
Voice #3: (Off-Scene) We don't have one! I sold it for ammo!
Voice #2: (Off-Scene) YOU MORON!
(At this point, the Elvis-Impersonater runs straight past the camera.
Screams are heard!)
Guide: May I make suggestion?
Dustin: WHAT!?!
Guide: Throw hot-water at it!
Dustin: Oh Yeah! Hot Water! HEY! THROW SOME HOT-WATER AT IT!
Voice #3: (Off-Scene) I think were outta hot water!
Dustin: Anything! Throw some coffee at it!
Voice #2: (Off-Scene) Hey! I'm not giving up my coffee! I need my Coffee!
My life is empty without coffee! My coffee is my nourishment! My coffee...
Voice #1: (Off-Scene) Gi'me that! *SPLASH*
Voice #2: (Off-Scene) NOOOOO!!! My poor sweet wonderful coffee!!! WAHHH!!!!
Original Voice: (Off-Screen and dizzily) Huh?!? What happened? Why is the
world spinning? Why is my skin all blistery? And why do I have the tune
'Jail House Rock' stuck in my head. Ohhh. I think I'm going to take a nap
now. (Sound of a man falling on the ground followed by loud snoring is
heard.)
Dustin: (Wiping forehead) Whew! Thank goodness that's over with. Boy,
Jusenkyo curses sure can be dangerous!
Guide: Yes! That what I always say! But do anyone ever listen to guide? No!
They think they know everything. They think...
Dustin: (Interrupting) Hey, um, I think I hear some visitors over on the
opposite side of the training grounds. Perhaps you should...
Guide: You do!?! Where?
Dustin: Umm... thata way! (Points in random direction)
Guide: Oh dear!!! That in direction of Spring of Drowned Paully Shore!
Dustin: Say what? Paully Shore Drowned? That's great!
Guide: Not great if people fall in! Me must go now! (Runs off)
Dustin: Geez! What an idiot! Anyhow, we should probably explain what
Jusenkyo is before we continue any farther. Bob, would you care to
explain...
Announcer: (Presentation Music begins to play) Sure Dustin, I'd be happy
too. Jusenkyo is an ancient training ground where many springs lie. Each
spring has it's own curse. In the past, martial artists from around the
world would come here to perfect their skills. But today, there are so many
springs no one in their right mind would come here to practice anything but
safe-sex. Which means it's perfect for commercialization. Back to you,
Dustin!
Dustin: Thanks Bob. The first thing to do is to move yer ass down to China
and find the training grounds Jusenkyo. It's located on all the major maps
of China. So finding it shouldn't be much of a problem. Unless your a
stereotypical male, and won't ask for directions. Of course, after coming
to Jusenkyo, that may not be a problem any longer.
Voice #3: Um, what's that supposed to mean?
Dustin: THINK ABOUT IT BONEHEAD! (Continues) Now, once you have found
Jusenkyo, you should get a hotel room during your stay. I recommend the
fabulous 'Jusenkyo Lodge and Hotel,' located conveniently five minutes from
the training grounds. Each room has it's own hot water, free HBO and
SHOWTIME, there's a pool out back, and best of all, kids stay free!
Voice #3: Kids stay free! WAHOO!!!
Dustin: Once you have got a room, you are going to need some equipment. The
springs aren't gonna dig themselves, ya know. If you prefer, you can just
use a shovel, but digging a large enough spring will take forever that way.
It would be a good idea to rent a digging machine of some sort. A large
bulldozer would be a good choice! You can find one in the
'Jusenkyo-Large-Equipment-Rentals.' And if you'll tell them Dustin sent
you, they'll kick you out! Now, if you'll follow me...
(Dustin walks off-scene, and the scene changes to show a large hole, about
20 feet across and 10 feet deep. A man wearing overalls and can be seen in
the hole working on some pipes.)
Dustin: For your convenience, we have already dug a hole, and that man
working inside the hole, that's Bill. He's a plumber. Let's ask him what
he's doing, shall we? (Shouts to Bill) HEY! BILL! WHATCHA UP TO?
Bill: (Shouts Back) I'M TRYING TO OPEN UP ONE OF THESE PIPES! THEY'RE ALL
RUSTED UP!
Dustin: YEA, THANKS BILL! (Turns face back to camera) I betcha wondering
why we would have a plumber out here. Well, the answer is quite simple. In
order for a Jusenkyo spring to be functional, it must use a special type of
water. This water, which is rumored to be the water collage students from
around the world use to bathe with, is delivered through a complex plumbing
system that is spread out beneath the grounds. Unfortunately, the pipes are
several millennia old, and many have become rusted. Also, the designers of
this place obviously had no idea what they were doing, and easy access to
the main piping system is a near impossibility. The only way...
Bill: YEAHHHH!!! (A giant water spout sends Bill flying out of the hole)
Dustin: (Quickly spins around) What the???
(Dustin sees the water spraying out and then sees Bill flying straight
towards him; he steps aside and Bill crashes head first into the ground,
right where Dustin was standing)
Dustin: (Down to Bill, who has his head stuck in the ground.) What happened?
Bill: (Pulls head out of ground) Huh, what did you say?
Dustin: What did you do? Why is there now a giant fountain of water
spraying from the center of the hole?
Bill: (Sheepishly) I... um... well... I think I split open one of the pipes!
Dustin: Ah crap! And you call yourself a licensed plumber!?!
Bill: 'License?'
Dustin: Yea. A Mandatory Jusenkyo Plumbing license. You do have one, don't you?
Bill: Er... Well...
Dustin: YOU DON'T HAVE A MANDATORY JUSENKYO PLUMBING LICENSE?!? WHAT KIND
OF PLUMBER ARE YOU?
Bill: Um... An Amazon plumber.
Dustin: You know, that doesn't surprise me...
Bill: But don't worry. I doubt the pressure will remain high enough for
long. It should stop soon.
Dustin: It had better stop soon. If it doesn't this entire production is
ruined! I'm going to have a little talk with my producers after the show!
Hiring an unlicensed Amazon plumber named Bill? What were they thinking?
Bill: Er... I had better be going, heh heh. (He quickly runs off)
Dustin: HEY, WAIT A SEC? WHERE DO YOU... Ah, forget it. Well, folks, looks
like we have a slight problem. Hmmm... This looks like a good time to break
into a commercial. (Fade out)
****************************COMMERCIAL BREAK****************************
Announcer: On the next 'The Young and the Retarded...'
*****
Jane: Billy, I don't what I am going to do?
Billy: Don't worry honey. We'll find him! Your
evil-twisted-half-twin-sister-who-was-locked-in-the-attic-for-twenty-years
can't just take your son and get away with it!
Jane: But Billy! Joeys autistic! Martha won't know how to take care of him.
Oh Billy...
*****
Announcer: Joey has been kidnapped by Martha, who, as we just learned in
last week's episode, is a lesbian!
*****
Martha: HA HA HA! So, my child, what do you think of your new home?
Joey: WEEE!!! Me like to spin things around! WEEE!!!
Martha: HA HA HA!
*****
Announcer: And Doctor Chris Jones is discovered to be having an affair -
with three women and two men!
*****
Sarah: How, how could you do such a thing to me?
Chris: Sarah, dear, they meant nothing to me...
Sarah: Even Bob, the accountant?
Chris: Even Bob, the accountant.
Sarah: Well, it doesn't matter any longer. I have just found out I am
pregnant, with an alien's baby.
Chris: No, honey! You cheated on me too? Why?
Sarah: Because Zarvio324 treats me like a real person!
*****
Announcer: All this and more, on the next 'The Young and the Retarded.'
Watch it during FFML Daytime.
*******************************END BREAK********************************
Dustin: (Standing in front of the same spring, this time it's full of
water; the water sprout is gone) Welcome back! That little problem we had
before has been fixed. And look, the spring is all filled up and ready to
go. Gosh, those commercials fix everything don't they?
Voices: (Off-Scene) NO!
Dustin: HEY, WHO ASKED YOU? (Continues) Once the spring is full, the next
step is to drown someone or something in order to generate a curse. It can
be your pet, your best or worst friend, or even a relative. For this
demonstration, I have decided that my annoying younger sister, Lindsay,
should be the drownee. (Turns head to side and calls) Oh Lindsay, would you
come here.
Lindsay: (Off-Scene) NO! I don't want to be seen anywhere near you, you
gross disgusting pig!
Dustin: LINDSAY! Come here now, or I'll tell mom about the incident with
the car...
Lindsay (Off-Scene) Al right! I'll come, but keep at least 5 feet away! I
don't want to smell your disgusting breath!
(A girl, of about 16 years of age, walks into scene; She has short, blond
hair, and stands at about 5'1; She is wearing a sleeveless shirt and some
short pants.)
Dustin: What do you mean 'disgusting breath?' My breath is just fine!
Lindsay: Don't lie, Dustin! Everyone knows your breath stinks!
Dustin: Yea, whatever! How come your the only one who seems to notice, Huh?
Lindsay: Because I am forced to live with you!
Dustin: You _live_ on the opposite side of the house from me!
Lindsay: I can smell it even from there!
Dustin: I just think your jealous that I have my own bathroom!
Lindsay: The only reason why you get your own bathroom is because it smells
and no one would dare share with you.
Dustin: Your just jealous!
Lindsay: Am not!
Dustin: Are too!
Voices: (Off-Scene) WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP ARGUING.
(Dustin and Lindsay both look sheepish)
Dustin: Eh heh heh! Um, well, now you see why I choose to elect my sister
to be the one to drown!
Lindsay: You're elected me to WHAT?!? I DON"T THINK SO! (She whips out a
giant mallet)
Dustin: (_Very_ surprised) HOLY *BLEEP*!!! When did you learn to do THAT?!?
Lindsay: This girl named Akane taught me! (She swings mallet)
Dustin: EGADS! Not Akane Tendou?!?
Lindsay: Yea, that's the one! I met her when the track team went to Japan!
Why do you care? (She holds mallet in a _malleting_ position)
Dustin: The track team went to Japan? Why did the track team go to Japan?
And how did you meet Akane?
Lindsay: I met her while doing my morning run! (She lowers mallet) We kind
of ran into each other, literally. After she helped me up, I told her who I
was and she decided to show me around. She also introduced me to Ranma, her
fiancee! God, from what I here, he's almost as big a jerk as you!
Dustin: HEY! I'm not a jerk, most of the time! And I am certainly not a
bigger jerk than Ranma!
Lindsay: How would you know? Have you ever met him?
Dustin: Well, not personally! But who would want to meet a pompous ass like
Ranma? Half the time he acts like a brain-dead female and the other half
he's acting like big stupid idiot!
Lindsay: Yep! Just like you!
Dustin: I'm only 5'6!
Lindsay: Dustin, did I mention Akane and I became friends! (She forms an
evil grin on her face)
Dustin: AAAHHHHHHHHH! My sister and Akane friends! That's... that's
absolutely horrible!
Lindsay: What do you mean _absolutely horrible?_
Dustin: The two most violent tomboys on the planet, friends?! (He shutters)
The hour of the apocalypse is upon us!
Lindsay: Hey! I'm not violent! (She drives the mallet into Dustin's skull.)
Except for when I'm around you!
Dustin: (Dizzily) Ohhh my... I think I see my life flashing before my eyes...
Lindsay: You have a life? I wasn't aware of it...
Dustin: (Still dizzy) You weren't? I must show you it to you sometime...
(Snapping back into reality) Huh... HEY! Wait a minute! I have a life!
Lindsay: Ha! You couldn't get a life if it crawled into bed with you!
Dustin: That's it! (Dustin suddenly takes out the biggest fraggin' frying
pan in the history of the universe and swings into Lindsay's face, sending
Lindsay into unconsciencness and then into the spring where she quickly
sinks to the bottom!) Boy, did that feel good.
Voice #3: Hey, where did that frying pan come from!?!
Dustin: Special effects... ILM to be more precise!
Voice #2: How could you do that to your sister?!?
Dustin: It was quite easy, actually! It's too bad though. She could have
told me where all those mallets come from. Must be France. Oh well, no
matter. Viewers, I hope you try a different method of drowning someone!
There are much simpler ways of drowning a person. The ol'
sedative-in-the-drink method works well. Just hitting them over the head
with a blunt object is also a good choice. Whatever your method, it is
advised that you wait at least five minutes after dumping them in before
you make any attempt to test the spring. Any less, and, well, it may not be
pretty! Speaking of tests, let's bring on our tester, my former physics
teacher, Jeff Krupnik!
(A man in his mid to late twenties walks into the scene. He is well built,
obviously from all those weekends working out at the gym. He is where a
white tee shirt and some jeans. He has very short hair, and there is a
semi-displeased look on his face. He is also carrying a bottle full of blue
liquid.)
Krupnik: Whadya want, Goeller?!?
Dustin: Shutup and Drink your 'Blue Thunder' Krupnik!
Krupnik: (Takes a sip of the blue liquid) Goeller, you bring me all the way
out to China for this, whatever this is, and then you refuse to tell me
why!
Dustin: Haven't you been paying attention!?!
Krupnik: Ha! I would never pay any attention to you, Goeller! Especially
since you turned that one lab report in!
Dustin: I am sorry about the lab report! I didn't think you would take it
so seriously! Hell, I didn't even think you would read it! I still think
the _purpose_ part was correct!
Krupnik: "To drive all the students insane so the teacher can get a week
off" is not an appropriate purpose!
Dustin: You wouldn't know an _appropriate purpose_ if it came up and bit
you on the ass! Oh, and speaking of asses, how's your fiancee?
Krupnik: Don't you insult my fiancee, Goeller! I could easily beat you to a
pulp! Look at me, a whoppin' 300 pounds of shear muscle. (He flexes) I
could tear you to shreds!
Dustin: Yea yea, sure you could. But seriously, where is she? Didn't you
bring her along?
Krupnik: Naw, she didn't want to come along.
Dustin: She must wanted to get away from that horribly disfigured face of
yours! (He grins)
Krupnik! Listen, Goeller! I don't have time for chit-chat right now. Just
tell me what you wanted me for.
Dustin: I want you to jump into that spring right there.
Krupnik: Why would I do that?
Dustin: Er, um... (He starts talk in a cavalier voice and begins to fan
face) Boy! It sure is hot out here! I bet you could sure use some time to
cool off in this relaxing spring.
Krupnik: Huh? What are you talking about? It's only about 70 degrees!
Dustin: Um, yes! 70 degrees Celsius! Damn it is hot!
Krupnik: I mean 70 degrees Fahrenheit!
Dustin: (Returns to normal voice) Yeah, well, if you don't jump, I'll put
you in there myself!
Krupnik: Ha! I like to see you try that, Goeller!
Dustin: Ok. I think it's been close enough to five minutes. (He takes out a
remote control from his pocket)
Krupnik: Hey! What's that!?! You going to watch some tv or something?
Dustin: Naw. I'm just going get you a little wet. Stand still. (He fiddles
with the remote, and a giant fork grip comes down over Krupnik, who is
totally oblivious to what is about to happen, and picks him up)
Krupnik: AAHHHHH! What the hell... GOELLER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!
Dustin: I am going to do what I said I was going to do. Put you in the
water myself! (An evil smirk appears on his face)
Krupnik: (Struggling) This isn't fair! I didn't know heavy machinery was
invloved!!! Put me down this instant!
Dustin: So you can pummel me? I don't think so! (He maneuvers Krupnik
directly over the water) I'm enjoying this too much anyway.
Krupnik: Damnit Goeller, If you drop me...
Dustin: Drop you? Okay. Heh heh heh! (He presses a button on the remote and
Krupnik is released)
Krupnik: (Falling) AAHHH... *SPLASH*
(Bubbles rise to the surface, shortly followed by Lindsay's head emerging)
Dustin: Ha ha! It worked!
Krupnik-Lindsay: AUGH! What did hell did you do to me Goeller?!?
Dustin: I only TURNED YOU INTO MY SISTER! HA HA HA! (To camera) Now
viewers, as you can see, this spring is functioning properly. If yours is
not, please refer to page 184 in your Jusenkyo manual.
Krupnik-Lindsay: YOU TURNED ME INTO WHAT!?! That's it. Your not passing my
physics class!
Dustin: Um, Krupnik, You already passed me. It's to late.
Krupnik-Lindsay: Damn, your right! Well, then it's a good thing I brought
along Mr. Pierce!
Dustin: You WHAT?!? Oh *BLEEP*!!! You brought Pierce! One physics teacher
is enough, but TWO?!?
Krupnik-Lindsay: Hey, Pierce! Come here!
(Another muscular man walks into scene. He is wearing what can only be
called a giant chicken suit)
Dustin: My GOD! What is _Mr. Tucson_ doing in a chicken suit?
Pierce: Ah, keep quiet. You know how much the school pays it's teachers. I
had no choice but to get a summer job at KFC. Say, who is this? (Points to
Krupnik) She looks a lot like you...
Dustin: Doesn't anyone pay attention to me!?! You always shout at me when I
don't pay attention to you!
Pierce: What can I say Dustin? Your Dustin...
Krupnik-Lindsay: (She pulls herself out of the water) Look what this punk
did to me!!!
Pierce: Huh, what is she talking about?
Krupnik-Lindsay: It's me Pierce! Jeff!
Pierce: Your name is Jeff?
Krupnik-Lindsay: No, _Edmond_! I'm Krupnik!
Pierce: Edmond?!? (He takes a step back in disbelief) You called me
Edmond!?! Only two people call me that! My mother and Krapper, I mean
Krupnik! And since my mother is currently locked away... Holy... Cow! What
happened to you?
Krupnik-Lindsay: This moron here (she points to Dustin) through me into
this pond...
Dustin: (interrupting) It's a _spring_!
Krupnik-Lindsay: He through me into this _POND_, and somehow I turned into
this!
Pierce: (Turns to Dustin) You see, look what you've done know! Huh! You
turned Krupnik into a girl!
Krupnik-Lindsay: And not just any girl. He turned me into his sister! Of
all people!
Pierce: You turned Krupnik into a _GOELLER_!?! That's a fate worse then death!
Dustin: HEY! It's not that bad! Of course...
Voice: (Off-scene) THERE HE IS!
Dustin: Wha..? (He turns around; His face turns to worry) Uh oh...
(The camera pans left to show two individuals, Ranma and Akane)
Ranma: Call me a pompous ass will you!?!
Akane: And how could you do that do your little sister? She was so sweet and...
Dustin: Are you sure this is my sister you are talking about?
Akane: Yes! And you dishonored her so much by throwing an arrogant physics
teacher into her spring!?! You deserve to be punished!
Ranma: Oh yes! Your going to be punished a right! Insulting me like that?!?
You called me a BRAIN-DEAD FEMALE!!! I hope you bought some Jusenkyo health
insurance cause your going to need it!
Dustin: Eh heh heh! Er, well, I think I'm covered...
(The guide appears; He looks very displeased)
Guide: And you tricked me! I almost fall in spring of drowned toilet paper
wad! That put me into violent mood!
Dustin: Even the guide is upset with me!?! I can't win!
Pierce: Look what you've done now! You've gone and upset all these people!
Dustin, you never cease to amaze me with your stupidity!
(Krupnik-Lindsay Suddenly comes running towards Dustin with a _very_ large
physics book)
Krupnik-Lindsay: I AM GOING TO KILL YOU GOELLER! TURNING ME INTO YOUR
SISTER IS EVEN WORSE THEN WHEN YOU DREW THAT PICTURE OF ME ON THE
CHALKBOARD!!! DIE!!!
Dustin: (See's Krupnik) YIPES! (Begins to run past the spring and towards
the center of the training grounds)
Ranma: Oh no you don't! (Starts chasing after Dustin) I'm not letting you
get away! Come back here! Fight like a man!
Akane: (She follows Ranma in chasing Dustin) I'm going to make sure you pay
for what you did to your sister, you barbarian! (She whips out a mallet
even larger than Lindsay's)
Guide: And you going to experience what it like as bowl of tofu! (Also
starts chasing Dustin)
Pierce: (And he too begins to chase Dustin) And I want just want to hurt
you for no particular reason!
(Zoom-out to show Dustin running in between various springs, followed by an
angry mob consisting of several humans and a large bird)
Dustin: (Shouting behind him as he runs) Come on guys, can't we all just
get along?
Angry Mob: NO!!!!!
Dustin: (Still running and shouting, this time to camera) Well, bye folks!
That's all for today. I hope you enjoyed this. Um, this would be a _real_
good time to role the credits!!!
********************************Credits*********************************
Written by......................................Dustin Goeller <Spiffy>
Produced by...........................................A Bunch of Idiots
Directed by.....................................................He Quit
Music by...............................................There was Music?
Edited by.....................................I knew I forgot something
C&C by...............................................The FFML Hopefully
Filmed using..............................................FFML-o-VISION
Featuring.........
Dustin Goeller <Spiffy>
A Bunch of other people who really don't matter
Special Thanks....
Me - For Being Such A Good Writer (Not)
Rumiko Takahashi's Lawyers - For Not Suing The Pants Off Me
The FFML - For Reading This
My Dog - Wait, I Don't Have A Dog
My Computer - For Not Crashing Once This Week
No Jusenkyo Springs were harmed in the making of this fic. Humans on the
other hand...
Copyright 1997 SmartAss Productions (Or so I wish)
******************************End Credits*******************************
Dustin: (Still being chased by the angry mob) Hey! You guys. Do you really
think this is safe running around these spring like this? Once of us is
bound to fall in? Oops....
(Fade Out)
************************************************************************
<COMMENTS N STUFF>
I should note that this is only a first draft. I would like to expand this
farther. Please, e-mail me any ideas, comments, flames, hate mail, etc. It
will be very appreciated! C&C would also be nice. :-)
When I first started this piece. I wanted to see how well I could portray
real people from my life into a fic. It was more difficult than I thought.
But, I came close to succeeding. Krupnik, Pierce, and my sister pretty much
all act this way in real life. My character, Dustin, is slightly
exaggerated at the beginning(I'm not handsome), but it's an ok depiction of
me. FYI, things like lab report incident really happened. I don't know
about Pierce's mother though...
Seriously though, I really would like some C&C. I mean, how am I supposed
to become a better writer if no one sends me C&C. If you have any ideas,
like some more characters I should put in, tell me. Also, tell me if you
got a good since of who the characters were. I need to know if I should
define them more. (I am talking about the non-Ranma characters.) And could
someone suggest an idea for an ending. I really don't like the one I have
very much. It's too typical.
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Dustin Goeller (Spiffy; Has this Nick been taken yet? If so, GET A NEW ONE!:))
e-mail:stinky@azstarnet.com <---- Send Flames Hear, Not To ML or Girlfriend.
Web Page:Get real! Me make a web page? Yea, whatever...
(For the two of you who can't read this,
---- '' ----- __--- \ / this is my first name written in katakana.
| | / | / Why? Cause I felt like wasting space!
-- / /\ ------- / Maybe I should replace it with the
/ / \ | / kanji for bakamon. But, I don't know
/ / \ | / if my mother would be too happy about
that...)
"When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
-A Student Blooper From 'Anguished English.'
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