A quick warning : This story begins very darkly.  It is my intention for it
to have a happy ending, but sometimes these stories write themselves, so no
guarantees.  I do, however, think I know where it's going this time.

Stormy : Shut up and send it!

Me : All right, already!  Here goes.


Douglas A. Reeves <dougreeves@earthlink.net> presents . . . 

     Ryouga tossed fitfully in his sleep . . . the nightmare was
coming again.  He had relived this moment five thousand times, it
seemed, and it still would not let him go.

     "Bakusai Tenketsu!" he screamed frantically, shattering the
massive boulder that pinned Ranma to the ground.  Quickly he swept
aside the rubble, trying to free his friend.
     His friend.  For so long, he had only wanted to see Ranma dead. 
After many trials and shared struggles, he had finally worked through
that, and the two of them were quickly becoming close. 
Unfortunately, it seemed that he would be getting his old wish; Ranma
was dying.
     The wounded martial artist's eyes opened slowly, and he
struggled to speak.  A trickle of blood ran from the corner of his
mouth as he forced out the words, his voice weak and cracking. 
"Ryouga . . . protect Akane.  I . . . won't be around to do it
anymore."
     "I will." Ryouga answered automatically.
     "I . . . know," Ranma tried to smile, then convulsed in a fit of
coughing, spitting up more blood.  "Tell her . . . tell her that I
love her."
     "No!  Ranma!" Ryouga protested "You can't . . . ."  It was too
late.  Ranma's eyes had closed already, and his chest heaved one last
time before he lay still.  Desperately, Ryouga fought to revive him,
to restart his breathing, but his efforts were to no avail.  Ranma
was dead, and there was nothing he could do.

     As always, it was at this point that Ranma awoke.  The
depression was overwhelming, and he had to have a release.  The
agonized cry was seemingly torn from his chest; "Shishi Houkoudan!"
     The devastating column of ki, in its most perfect form,
shattered the night; the thunderous shockwave drowned out Ryouga's
own cry of suffering.  Then it was subsided, and he fell to the
ground as if dead himself.

*********************************************************************

                         Tainted Honor
      A Ranma Nibbunoichi Fanfiction by Douglas A. Reeves
*********************************************************************
                           
                                
Chapter One - Ill Tidings

     With an effort, as if his feet were formed of lead rather than
flesh, Ryouga slowly climbed the few steps.  He had somehow made it
this far without getting lost; the irony was not lost on him.  He had
never been able to find this place when he had wanted to, but right
now he would rather be ANYWHERE but here.  Yet here he was, against
all his instincts.  For the first time in his memory, he wanted to
run.
     He could not.  Honor demanded that he deliver this message, that
he face the young woman he was now sworn to protect.  She would not
take it well, but she must know.  Summoning all of his courage, he
knocked softly on the door.
     After a moment it opened, and Kasumi stood before him.  She
opened her mouth to deliver her usual cheery gretting, then snapped
it shut again at the sight of him.  For a moment there was silence as
worry overcame her, and finally she spoke.  'Ryouga . . . ."
     She stopped again, horrified by the sight of him.  His clothes
were tattered and soaked through by the driving storm.  His hair was
unkempt and ragged, the bandana which kept it out of his face now
missing.  He stood rigidly still, his bearing that of a man haunted,
and the fear and agony were written on his features as if carved in
stone.  Most frightening of all were his eyes, cold and lifeless.  It
seemed to her that she was looking at a ghost.
     Still more terrifying was the fact that he was alone.
     "Ryouga," she echoed his name in horror.  "What happened?"
     "Just get Akane," he answered tonelessly.
     "Ryouga . . . ."
     "Do it!" he hissed, suddenly intense, the sheer vehemence taking
Kasumi aback.  She nodded quietly and disappeared up the stairs.

     Akane knew something was wrong from the haunted look on Kasumi's
face.  She hadn't seen that look since . . . she didn't want to think
about that.
     "Ryouga is here . . . he wants to see you," Kasumi said, her
voice hollow.
     Akane's eyes widened with terrifying realization.  "Ryouga?  Oh,
no . . . ."  She broke from her room, pushing by her sister and
running down the stairs in a dead panic.  When she saw Ryouga, she
froze; he looked more depressed than she'd ever seen him.  This was
bad.  Tears began to form in her eyes; she knew.  "Ranma . . . ?"
     "Ranma . . . ." Ryouga began, struggling to finish the
statement.  "Ranma . . . didn't make it."
     Akane fell backward as if struck.  "NO!  He can't die!  He
can't!"
     Ryouga hung his head.  "He . . . his last words . . . he told me
to tell you he loved you."
     "NO!" the last scream tore itself from Akane, and she threw
herself at Ryouga, sobbing violently.  Ryouga just put his arms
around her, holding her tightly.  It rent his heart to see her in
such pain, and he stayed there with her long into the night.

                       * * * * * * * * *
                                
     "So, how did it happen?" Genma asked wearily.  The shock left
him numb still, and he wanted to hear the story before grief made it
unbearable.
     "The relic," Ryouga indicated the ancient symbol which lay on
the floor before him, "was at the top of a towering cliff.  We had to
climb for it, and Ranma got there first.  Immediately he used it, and
the magic worked.  We . . . ." he closed his eyes, not wanting to
remember.  "Nobody told us about the guardian."
     "The guardian was," he continued, his voice devoid of emotion,
"well, I guess it would be best described as a dragon.  It was
terribly powerful, and it shrugged off every attack we threw at it. 
It ignored techniques, ki-blasts, everything.  We couldn't touch it."
     "Ranma . . . he screamed at me to get clear, then leaped in with
the most powerful ki-blast I've ever seen.  I think he made it up
right there."  He paused again, his mouth suddenly very dry.  He
swallowed and continued.  "Whatever it was, it worked--the guardian
fell--but it took out the cliff face with it.  Ranma fell," Ryouga's
voice broke, a flicker of pure agony crossing his face, and he hung
his head, "and I didn't get to him in time.  A boulder fell on him,
crushing him.
     "Before he died, he asked me to protect Akane, and to tell her
that he loved her."
     Genma nodded solemnly, pangs of grief barely tangible through
the numbness.  "A warrior's death.  It . . . it honors him."
     "He died a whole man," Ryouga responded quietly.
     "And bought wholeness for many others as well."  Glancing down
at the relic darkly, he added, "I would gladly trade mine, though, to
have him back."
     Another flicker of agony registered on Ryouga's face, and he
whispered, "as would we all."
     An audible sob from Nodoka interrupted them.  She had been
sitting quietly, her head bowed with tears streaming down her face. 
Looking over at her, Genma sighed.  "Thank you, Ryouga.  Would you
please leave us now?"
     Ryouga nodded silently.  Slowly he rose and made his way out
into the rain.  The sensation of the droplets on the skin of his face
was one he was still not accustomed to, and there were times when he
did not appreciate it.  Right now, he would almost have liked to have
the curse back.  P-Chan could have hidden from the pain.
     That line of thought led to Akane, and Ryouga felt tears welling
up in his own eyes. <Oh, that I could ease her suffering.  Why,
Ranma, did you have to die?>

     At the same time, in her room, Akane was asking the same
question.  Staring out the window into the tempestuous night, she
remembered his final words to her.
     "I've got to do this," he had explained.  "I can't live with
this stupid curse any longer."
     "Baka," she whispered desperately.  "Didn't you understand that
I loved you the way you were?"
     More of his words came to her in repsonse.  "I'll be back for
you, Akane.  Once I have this, nothing can stand between us. 
Nothing."  At the time, her heart had thrilled to the words.  He
still hadn't said "I love you," but she had known then.  Eagerly she
had awaited his return, until one night . . . 
     She had known, even before Ryouga's arrival, that something had
gone dreadfully wrong.  A sense of foreboding had overcome her,
filling her with dread.  For the first time in her life, she wished
that she had been wrong.
     "Why, Ranma?  You said you'd come back!  Why did you die?"  The
night gave her no answer.  She was alone.

                       * * * * * * * * *
                                
     The cemetary was oddly quiet, considering those present.  Ukyou,
Shampoo, Kodachi, Akane . . . it was a battle waiting to happen,
except that nothing remained to fight for.  Others were there, as
well.  Kunou was present, though he himself was not sure why.  The
Saotome and Tendou families were, of course, there as well.  A few
friends, and even some old enemies, had arrived also.  Some were
invited, others were not, but all had come to pay respect to the
fallen warrior.
     For the first time since that fateful day, Ryouga was thankful
for the cure.  A light rain was falling on the assembly, and Akane
needed a man to comfort her.  P-chan . . . well, P-chan could have
been no more.  Even without the cure, Ranma had charged him to
protect Akane, and he could not take advantage of her in such a way
again.  He could not, and he would not.  That he had done so in the
past was abhorrent enough.
     Looking at Akane, he realized for the first time just how much
she had loved Ranma.  She wore the look of one shattered;
hopelessness and depression were engraved on her face--a look Ryouga
knew very well, as he'd seen it in the mirror a thousand times. 
Akane hardly spoke anymore, not even in anger, and she had not smiled
even once.  It was as if her heart was gone, Ryouga reflected. 
Perhaps it was.
     The memorial service passed, but Ryouga himself noticed very
little until the end, when each of Ranma's acquaintances was given a
chance to speak.  First, oddly, was Kunou Kodachi.
     "My Ranma-sama," she began, eliciting a glare f rom each of the
other women present, "was brave and strong, and handsome."  A single
tear formed in her eye, seeming rather out of place as it rolled down
her cheek.  "He was everything to me, and will be so forever."
     "Ranma was so strong, and skilled.  He would have made a good
husband, and brought glory to my people," was Shampoo's comment.  Her
voice falling to a whisper, she added, "You I love, Ranma. 
Farewell."
     She was followed by Ukyou, who spoke at more length.  "Ranchan
was as much a friend as anyone could ask.  He was loyal, and
trustworthy, and kind.  He would have done anything for any of his
friends, and often did.  He feared nothing, save the occasional cat,"
she smiled for a moment, then the levity dissolved into tears.  "I am
glad to have been his friend, even if I was nothing more."
     Akane looked up, recognizing the implication and knowing that it
was her turn to speak.  "Oh, Ranma . . . how can I live without you? 
We fought, and argued, and said things we would both come to regret .
. . but deep inside I loved you.  I only hope that you knew, since I
never told you . . . ." her voice cracked and faded, and she burst
into a violent sobbing.  "Oh, Ranma."
     For several moments, that was the only sound to be heard. 
Ryouga had not intended to speak, but somehow he was compelled. 
There was a side of Ranma yet to be addressed.  Stepping forward, he
summoned voice to his thoughts.  "If Ranma was anything, he was
honorable, even if I have accused him of being otherwise in the past. 
He always kept his promises, and he always stood up for his friends. 
He fought as fairly as he did skillfully, and he never quit.  If he
wronged someone, he sought to make it right, even when they would not
allow it.
     "I wish I could claim to be as honorable as he."
     As he finished, he could feel a tear forming in his eye, and he
tried to prevent it from falling.  Not wanting to be seen as weak, he
stepped aside, and moved to stand by Akane.  Depression overwhelmed
him as the memories returned.

     Akane stood silently at Ranma's grave long after the others had
gone.  Ryouga, concerned for her, loitered some distance away.  He
was hidden behind a large tree, and was relatively sure that she
hadn't seen him.
     She was devastated, he realized.  The defiant flame that had
burned perpetually in her eyes was extinguished, and her movements
were labored.  Life itself seemed a burden to her, and to see her
suffer so tore at his heart.  He wanted to help her, but he knew
nothing he could do save watch over her.  That he would do to the end
of his days, if need be.
     Nearly an hour passed before Akane moved; with a sigh, she
turned to walk away.  It was at that point that she spoke.
     "Thank you, Ryouga."
     <Nani?> he thought, startled.  "You . . . knew I was here?"
     Akane nodded sadly.  "Yes.  Thank you . . . for watching over
me, and for what you said earlier."
     "He . . . he asked me to protect you."
     She smiled wryly, a smile which faded as quickly as it came on. 
"He would."
     "I would be here, even if he hadn't."
     "I know.  Can you," she hesitated, sighing, "Can you walk home
with me?"
     He nodded.  "Anything you ask."
     "Thanks . . . again."
     An eerie silence fell over them as they walked back to the
Tendou home.  All the interruptions, the battles large and small . .
. they were all over now.  Ranma had been the center of Nerima's
chaos ever since his arrival, and it died with him.  The calm was
oppressive, driving home the sense of loss.
     <Dear Akane,> Ryouga sympathized, looking at her. <It hurts me
so to see you in such pain.  I wish I could help you.> Instinctively,
he put his arm around her; she stiffened, and he feared he had made a
mistake.  Slowly, though, she allowed herself to relax in the
comforting embrace.
     "Akane," he half-whispered after a while.
     "Yes?"
     "I . . . I'm sorry I didn't save Ranma."
     She looked surprised, and compassion filled her eyes.  "Ryouga .
. . you told me the story; there was nothing you could have done."
     <I wish I could believe that, Akane, but I know better,> he
thought sadly.  "Maybe . . . I wish that I had died in his place. 
Then you would not be so sad."
     She looked genuinely touched.  "That's . . . noble of you,
Ryouga.  Still, I would have been very sad if you had died, as well."
     Ryouga allowed himself a slight, sad smile.  "Thank you, Akane."
     Silence reigned for another few minutes, until they reached the
dojo.  Turning to face him, Akane whispered, "Thank you, Ryouga, for
being here."
     Ryouga nodded solemnly.  "I will always be here, anytime you
need me."
     "I . . . appreciate it.  Good night, Ryouga."
     "Good night, Akane."

     Once she had gone inside, Ryouga suddenly realized that he had
no place to stay.  Still, Ranma had other friends, surely one of them
could put him up for the night, considering the circumstances. 
Deciding to try Ukyou's first, he set off for her shop.
     Again alone, he faced the disturbing memories.  The elation of
seeing Ranma dump a canteen of water over his head without changing,
the momentary celebration, and the interruption that was a dragon's
roar.  He remembered the battle that raged then, with all his attacks
ineffective; he couldn't even throw a decent Shishi Houkoudan, as the
thought of being cured had robbed him of his depression.  Then came
Ranma's final attack, a devastating explosion of ki-energy that had
shattered the cliff face, and Ryouga's desperate dive to catch him
before he fell.  He had missed him by less than a second, even a
half-second--and he knew well where that precious time had gone.  He
knew . . . and the knowledge broke him.
     Tears began to fall as he walked away.

***********
End Part One

Author's notes : I must first state that the background story here
was inspired by Nicholas Leifker's "Journeys" (though obviously with
a different ending), and I owe him thanks for that.  My debt to him
does not end there, though . . . his friendship and encouragement are
greater gifts for which there are not adequate words to express my
appreciation.  I would also like to extend special thanks to those on
my prereader list.  Thanks.

This story is my first Ranma work of any length (the only other being
19 lines or so), so I would really appreciate C&C on this.   The
comments I've received so far have been wonderful, but if someone
could find the time to really pick it apart I'd be most appreciative. 
As I've said before, I prefer brutal C&C (so long as it's
constructive) to polite.

Again, special thanks for Nicholas Leifker.  As is often the case,
this work has had nagging flaws that I can't quite pinpoint but that
mar the work sufficiently to make me not feel good about it.  As
ususal, he found them for me.

In this gamma version, I tried to add more detail throughout,
especially in the second and fourth scenes (telling Akane and the
funeral), as well as more foreshadow.  Tell me what you think. 
Thanks!