At 11:04 AM 7/29/97 -0400, Coutuva wrote:

	After a few more minutes of resistance, Hitomi chased Kikyo off to
the bathroom, but as she started to get out of the bed, she abruptly
stopped and stared at Hitomi's bare midsection.
       "Is something wrong, Kikyo?"  Hitomi asked, checking herself.
       "Forgive me, Hitomi-chan.  I just noticed your scar." she replied,
quietly.  "I didn't mean to stare."
       Hitomi bigsweated;  She had seen the scar on her torso, but
had no idea what caused it.  Thinking *very* fast, she came up with a story
that sounded reasonable.
       "Oh... Well, I don't like to talk about it, but my parents forced
me
to get married to a neighbour's son, and he got me pregnant.  When the baby
was stillborn, he decided that I was no good as a wife.  We were divorced
soon after."  she related, sadly.
       Kikyo's face softened with sympathy.  "Gomen, Hitomi-chan...
I didn't mean to pry."  she said, thinking back to how her own parents
had not agreed with her lifestyle.
       Inwardly, Hitomi breathed a sigh of relief.  She felt absolutely
rotten about the lie, but on the other hand, as far as she knew it could be
the truth.

  Why such an elaborate tale?  Why not just say "I was hurt in an accident"
or something similar.  If Ranma is aware that the scar is from a caesarian,
then why doesn't she wonder more about her missing past?  A pregnancy in
one's past is not a minor event to be easily dismissed.  

	"Goody.  So, any sign of our boy wonder yet?  The family's really
starting to get edgy over here."
	"No.  I have not seen or heard anything about the suspect.  No
Martial Arts incidents, no bodies turning up, and no stories about
strangers.
There has been nothing."  she admitted, resignedly.
	"Kuso... he must either be dead or have moved on somehow.  Okay...
here's the deal. You *stay* in contact with me on this... Like I briefed
you before, he disappeared in your area at first, so you should be the one
to see him.  If you do, you know what to do."
	"Hai, Nabiki-sama.  I do."  she assured, rolling her eyes.

  I find it difficult to believe that Nabiki did not furnish her agents
with info and pictures on male and female Ranma.  Would Nabiki really just
tell them to look for martial artists and provide no other details? 

	"What the fuck...?" the man snarled, whirling to see Hitomi
standing in the corner of the room, eyes glazed and her body bathed in a
bluish glow.   She held her arms out before her with her hands encircling a
wispy image... the image of a dragon's head.
	"For those who would dare to kill innocents... and those who would
harm the one that I love, there can only be one fate..."  Hitomi continued,
her voice seeming to fill the room, despite her slow, even speech.
"Death." she stated, and set her feet.  Taking a deep breath, she glared
at the stunned criminal angrily.  "Dragon Fire!" she yelled, and a blast of
eldritch flame exploded from her hands with a booming roar, incinerating
the screaming thug where he stood.  When it was over, nothing remained of
him save a hole in the back wall of the building.

  I guess that the (forgive me, Ranma) cat is out of the bag.  Wouldn't
Nabiki have told her people to be on the lookout for chi attacks?  

	"Stay back...!" he yelled, twitching the shotgun. 
	From behind Hitomi, a single shot rang out, striking the fat man
in the wrist, making him drop the shotgun.   Hitomi leapt forward, and as
she landed in front of the stunned thug, grabbed him and threw him across
the room, safely away from the children.

  Since Ranma would not be depending on Kikyo's shot, I would think that
the scene would be more impressive if Ranma just used her speed and
reflexes to avoid being shot while taking out the guy. 

  More than enough time has passed that I would expect Akane to call the
one Canadian she knows to ask for help or at least inform her of Ranma's
disappearance.  There is no indication that Akane has contacted Elysse.  

  This is an intriguing story, but my suspension of disbelief is challenged
by the points I've listed above.



              dml