Okay folks...here's the deal.

I've been cleaning out my backlogged projects folders. I've had a lot 
of projects going which stalled in various stages of production. Some 
stalled because I got stuck, some stalled because I got sick of them, 
some stalled because they were just stupid. The ones that would never 
work under any circumstances, I threw out. 

Of the remaining projects, there are three which I want nothing more 
to do with, not counting Sailormoon Elemental which I already passed 
on to another author. Realizing that there are many talented writers 
who just have trouble when it comes to generating an idea to base a 
fic on, I decided to throw such authors a bone.

Below are the openings for three fanfics. Anyone who wishes to pick 
up on them is more than welcome to them. I don't want any form of C&C 
or comment on these, as they are, of this moment, no longer property 
of the Eternal Lost Lurker.

Do what you will with them, folks.

----------------------Fic Opening 1: A Ranma/Nuku-Nuku X-over---------
----------------

 //We interrupt our regularly scheduled program for a special 
breaking news bulletin. Another round of mysterious explosions have 
been reported in Nerima-ku...//

  Natsume Kyusaku nearly spit out his cigarrette. Kuso, he thought to 
himself, that girl's doing it again...

 //...take you now live to the Fuurinan neighborhood in Nerima-ku.//

  "What the...Fuurinkan!? That's on the other side of the district!" 


 //Well, eyewitnesses claim that the source of the explosions, 
unlikely as it may seem, are the unidentified figures you'll see 
moving into view right now...//

  Kyusaku leaned closer to the television screen, expecting to find a 
magenta-haired, teenaged girl locked in combat with either a sandy-
haired younger girl, a pair of bazooka-toting psychotic women, a 
giant mecha, a high-tech assault hoverjet, or some combination of all 
of the above.
  He was quite surprised at what he saw.

  >^_^<

  "Cut that out, you idiot! You're trashin' the neighborhood!"
  "Shut up and die, you!"
  A tall, ruggedly handsome boy with somewhat uneven teeth, travel-
worn clothes, and black hair tied with a leopard-print bandana, with 
a red bamboo umbrella held at the ready in one hand, leaped toward a 
short, cute girl with red hair tied in a pigtail, wearing a red 
Chinese shirt and black trousers that didn't fit well. The girl 
ducked as the boy swung the umbrella like a cudgel. She attempted a 
footsweep but her opponent leaped over her, spun around in midair, 
and jabbed the pavement with one finger, yelling "BAKUSAI TENKETSU!" 
The sidewalk exploded, spraying both with chunks of concrete. The boy 
was unfazed, while the girl desparately tried to block the rocks. 
Leaping away from the boy, she made a derisive hand gesture, and 
yelled, "Hah! Is that the best you can do, P-chan?"
  "WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' P-CHAN! DIE, YOU!" he screamed at her, and 
charged. <Sucker,> she thought. As he approached, she broke right and 
ran past his swing. He spun to give chase, only to find her running 
in a tight circle around him, just out of striking range. "Cut that 
out, you!" he shouted, vaguely aware that something just wasn't right 
about this situation. As he leaped straight up and dove for the 
ground with a finger extended, the girl ceased her dizzying dash and 
exclaimed, "HIRYUU SHOTENHA!" 
  Her opponent barely had time to think <Oh shit> before the girl 
plunged her fist into the air. Suddenly a raging vortex of wind, 
glowing brightly with chi energy, erupted from the ground, slamming 
full-force into him as he desparately tried to block. He found 
himself flung far into the sky, far away from his opponent.
  As the vortex died down, the girl smirked. "That idiot," she 
muttered, and walked away from the seriously damaged battlesite.
  Nobody was brave enough to try to force her to pay for the damages.


  >^_^<

  The cigarrette dangling from Kyusaku's lips had burned all the way 
down to the butt, but he didn't notice. He was gaping at the 
television and thinking aloud. "How can this be...surely Akiko didn't.
..no, not so far away from here, and if she did, why haven't we seen 
them around? What's going on? Who...this is not good..."
  He was interrupted as the door to the apartment opened, and a 
cheery voice called out, "Papa-san! We're home!"
  Kyusaku studied the magenta-haired, impossibly cute, smiling girl 
and the russet-haired, cheerful young boy who walked into the room. 
Then, extinguishing the already burned-out cig, he said pleasantly, 
"Nuku-nuku, Ryu-kun, we're going on an outing tomorrow!" 
  Nuku Nuku squealed happily, while Ryunnosuke just smiled, secretly 
wishing his mother could join them--but knowing hell would freeze 
over first.

  >^_^<

  "Akiko-sama! You called?"
  Natsume Akiko sat haughtily straight in her lavish, high-backed 
chair, and eyed her two faithful henchwenches, Arisa and Kyouko, 
critically, before slowly saying, "I assume you've heard the news 
from Fuurinkan, about the mysterious explosions."
  "We didn't do it! I swear!" Kyouko said. Arisa gave her an evil 
glare.
  Akiko chuckled. "I never said you did. In fact, I know it wasn't 
you, or the schoolgirl android." She showed them a still picture of 
the two fighting figures as they proceeded to rip up the concrete 
with their battle. "Take a good look, girls. Tomorrow, bright and 
early, I want you to go to Fuurinkan, find these two, and subdue them.
 I want them brought in undamaged. You are not to draw too much 
attention to yourselves, and you will *not* take any mecha, hoverjets,
 or any weaponry bearing the logo of MHI, is that clear?"
  "Yes, Akiko-sama," the girls replied in unison, and left the office.

  Akiko frowned thoughtfully as she studied a photograph on her desk. 
"Kyusaku," she said softly to herself, "I hope you're not responsible 
for those--I don't want our son exposed to such dangers..."
  She watched the sunset from her office window in silent 
contemplation.

 -----------------------Fic in which Soun's wife is wished back to 
life----------------------------
-----------------------------contains small Dragonball cameo----------
-----------------------------

 *THUD*
 He gave a curse as the backpack was dropped harshly on the ground. 
"This sucks," he muttered, unheard even by himself. He really, REALLY 
hated it in here. Although it wasn't nearly as bad as the time he'd 
been trapped in that big gumball machine, this was still pretty 
damned bad. He couldn't stretch out in here! Oh sure, he could do 
everything else he was known for, except show his grand physique, or 
rumble in his deep voice, or give his flashy light show. Damn kid, he 
grumbled inaudibly. Doesn't he know I'm trapped in here? Doesn't he 
understand what he's found? Does he EVER open this damned backpack?
 Four months in here now. Four long, loooooonnnnnnggg months. He 
cursed, doubly angry that nobody could hear him curse. And to top it 
all off, if the kid ever made any kind of a wish he still had to 
grant it.
 Shenron was VERY angry. If that kid makes a wish, he swore to 
himself, I'm going to twist it as horribly as I possibly can without 
violating the rules I'm bound to.
 He heard a voice outside. It sure didn't belong to the kid. He 
wondered where that stupid boy had gone off to.
 The voice outside was sobbing. Shenron strained to listen, having 
nothing better to do.

 Tendou Soun knelt before the small shrine, weeping as he gazed 
longingly at a picture of his long-deceased wife. "It's been eleven 
years now, dear one," he wept softly. "Eleven years since you passed 
away. It still hurts as though not a day had passed." Weeping more 
openly, he moaned, "Oh, how I wish you could come back to us, dearest.
 To see your daughters all grown up, and your future son-in-law..." 
his weeping increased as he turned his head skyward and shouted, "Oh 
Kimiko, I wish you were alive once more!"

 A wish. Shenron thought for a minute. On the one hand, this was 
clearly not the person who had summoned him. However, he'd been 
summoned by accident, and his summoner hadn't made a wish yet. Didn't 
even know he was around. And this poor man hurt so much...and if he 
granted the wish, he'd be free from this dusty, smelly backpack...

 "Your wish is granted. Farewell." he whispered, and disappeared.

 The old woman who washed out the gutters each day peered curiously 
at the confused-looking young woman who stood across the street. The 
woman wore a white dress, and was glancing about with an expression 
of total confusion on her face.
 "Miss? Can I help you?"
 The woman blinked at her, then stepped forward, bowing. "Yes, please.
 I...I'm not exactly sure where I am, I'm afraid."
 The old lady nodded. "I could tell. You're in Nerima district."
 The young woman gasped. "N...Nerima!? Impossible!"
 The old lady squinted. "Say...you aren't related to that kid with 
the bandana who I've seen around here are you?" The younger woman 
looked more confused, and shook her head. "So, where are you supposed 
to be miss?" she asked.
 The younger woman blinked. "I...I'm not so sure." she said.
 "Hmm...well, miss, what's your name?"
 "Kimiko. Tendou Kimiko." She bowed.
 The old woman's eyes widened. "Tendou eh? I suppose you're looking 
for the dojo then."
 "The...dojo? Yes! Yes, the dojo please."
 The old woman gave a nod, then pointed with her ladel at a dark-
haired pigtailed boy in Chinese clothes who was running along the top 
of a fence nearby. "Follow that boy there. He lives at the dojo."
 Kimiko's eyes widened. "Lives...?"  The older woman nodded. Kimiko 
bowed, thanked her, and took off to intercept the boy.

 Ranma was in a hurry to get home before oyaji ate all the snacks 
Kasumi would have made. He hadn't had much lunch today and was 
starving. 
 A woman waved at him from the sidewalk. She looked vaguely familiar, 
but he couldn't put a name to her. "Excuse me!" she called out. Ranma 
sighed. Snacks or no, he couldn't simply ignore her. He slowed and 
peered down at her. "Yeah?" he asked.
 Bowing, she said, "Pardon me, but I'm looking for the Tendou 
residence, and I heard you live there...could you take me there?" 
 Ranma blinked. "Sure, I guess. You lookin' to train with Tendou-san?
"
 "Not train exactly. Just...anxious to see him again. It's been so 
long," she said bemusedly.
 "Ah, an old friend of his eh? Well, c'mon!" Ranma said with a grin, 
then leapt to the sidewalk and walked at a normal pace. "So, what's 
your name miss?" he asked.
 "It's Kimiko."
 "Nice to meet you," Ranma said cheerfully. "I'm Saotome Ranma."
 "Saotome? Not related to Saotome Genma by any chance?"
 Ranma grinned. "Yep, Genma's my old man."
 Kimiko smiled. "It's nice to meet you. Your parents are both old 
friends of mine."
 "Well ain't that somethin'?"

 They arrived at the dojo a few minutes later. They hadn't had much 
conversation in the meantime. As they entered the gates, Ranma called 
out loudly, "Kasumi! We got a visitor!"
 "Oh?" Kasumi's voice drifted out from the house. "Who is it?" She 
stepped out of the house--
 --and turned whiter than cotton. "Oh...my..." she said, and fainted.


 "Kasumi!" Ranma said, shocked. He ran over and checked on her. 
Kimiko did the same. 
 "Oh dear," she said. "Poor thing..."
 "Yeah...wonder what happened?"
 Kimiko sighed. "It's my fault, I'm afraid. The rest of them will 
faint when they see me too."
 Ranma looked at her curiously. He was about to ask what she meant 
when a cry of surprise came from the porch. "KASUMI!" Akane rushed 
out and examined her sister. "Oneechan! Ranma, what happ--" she 
trailed off as she got a look at Kimiko. "M--" was all she got out 
before she collapsed on her sister's limp form.
 "Aw jeez, how uncute of you Akane," Ranma muttered. Kimiko bopped 
him lightly on the head. "That wasn't nice," she said.
 "Jeez, sorry," Ranma said sarcastically. He sighed. "C'mon, help me 
get them inside." They lifted the two girls and carried them into the 
house.

 Hibiki Ryouga ran around upstairs. Eventually he bumped into Soun, 
who was emerging from his room, puffy-eyed.
 "Hello there, Ryouga...what brings you here?" he asked.
 Ryouga bowed. "Hello Tendou-san...I was just looking for my backpack.
..I thought I left it in the front entrance..."
 Soun nodded. "Which means it must be up here someplace." He started 
looking in all the rooms, then when he opened his own door, he 
blinked. "Would that be it, boy?"
 Ryouga looked past him, and nodded. "Yeah. How it got in there is 
beyond me." He darted in, shouldered it, and darted back out. "Sorry 
about that, sir," he said, bowing.
 "No trouble, Ryouga, no trouble at all," Soun muttered absently. 
He'd gotten used to this kind of thing. He did kinda wish the boy 
would stop hanging around Akane as a pig like he did, but he wasn't 
about to say anything. He'd seen the kid take apart concrete with one 
finger, and he knew that if he said anything about Akane's pet she'd 
clobber him. So he just kept his mouth shut.
 He was drawn out of his reverie by a shout from downstairs. "RANMA! 
WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO AKANE AND KASUMI YOU BASTARD!?"
 "Akane...Kasumi..." Soun ran downstairs.

 Kimiko's gaze shifted from Ranma to this strange boy with the 
bandana as the two squared off. Ranma smirked. "Man, what the heck do 
ya gotta go blamin' me Ryouga? I didn't do nothin' got it? They both 
passed out when they saw her!" He aimed a thumb at Kimiko.
 Ryouga glanced at her, then dismissed her. "Yeah right Saotome. Your 
tricks aren't going to work on me this time. Ranma, prepare to DIE!"
 Kimiko cleared her throat. "Excuse me, Mr...?"
 Ryouga blinked at her. "Hibiki. Ryouga Hibiki."
 Kimiko nodded. "Yes, well, Ranma's telling the truth. He didn't have 
anything to do with the girls passing out. I'm afraid it is my fault.
"
 Ryouga blinked, then scowled. "I don't know why you want to help 
Ranma lady, but save it. I know he's responsible and I'm going to 
make him pay."
 Kimiko got angry. "Look, boy! Didn't anyone ever teach you respect 
for your elders? If I say Ranma didn't make them pass out, then RANMA 
DIDN'T MAKE THEM PASS OUT!!! Got it?"
 Ryouga blinked. So did Ranma. Kimiko had inflated to an enormous 
purple demon, with bulging eyes and a snakelike tongue. Ryouga backed 
away from her. "Yeah...yeah, okay sure. No problem here. heh heh..."
 Kimiko returned to normal, and went over to check on the girls again.
 "Man, something awful familiar about THAT," Ranma mumbled. 
 Just then, Soun barreled into the room. "Here now, what's all the 
fuss?" he bellowed, inasmuch as Soun is capable of bellowing. 
 Kimiko looked up, saw Soun, and beamed. "DEAREST!!" she bellowed, 
running to him and glomping him much the same way Shampoo likes to 
glomp Ranma.
 "DEAREST!?" Ranma and Ryouga both said, blinking and staring.
 "K...Kimiko?" Soun gasped. "Is...is...it...?"
 Kimiko smiled. "Yes, it's me, my husband."
 Soun blinked. "How...how...?" He, too, fainted.
 Ranma blinked, as did Ryouga. "Uhhh...what do you mean, husband, 
Kimiko?" Ranma asked.
 Kimiko looked up and smiled. "I'm sorry for not telling you earlier 
but I didn't think you'd believe me. See, the reason Kasumi and Akane 
fainted is because I'm their mother."
 Ranma blinked. "Their...mother? But...but...aren't you dead?"
 Kimiko nodded, smiling. "I was. I'm not anymore."
 "Oh...kay..." Ranma said. Then he, too, fainted. As did Ryouga.
 Kimiko observed the roomful of unconscious people, and tilted her 
head to one side. "Goodness," she said. 

 Genma and Nabiki walked in the front door. Genma was grumbling while 
Nabiki leafed through a wad of yen clutched in her hands, grinning. 
Her grin faded as she looked around and observed her sisters, father, 
and the two boys lying around the room, all with compresses on their 
heads. "Hey," she said to Genma. "What do you suppose happened to 
them?"
 Genma adjusted his glasses and looked around. "They all seem to be 
unconscious," he said. "But who put the compresses on their foreheads?
"
 "I did," called a voice from the kitchen door. Kimiko stepped into 
view, smiling. "Hello Genma-san, Nabiki-chan. It's so good to see you 
again. I made cookies." 
 Genma stared, and seemed to be about to pass out. Nabiki's eyes 
widened. "Mom?" she said.
 Kimiko smiled. "I knew you wouldn't faint on me. Always the sensible 
one in the family." 
 Genma adjusted his glasses again. "Hmm. Well, Kimiko-san, I'm sure 
you have much to tell us when everyone wakes up. Now...how about some 
of those cookies?" he said, smiling.

------------------------------------Ranma/Gremlins crossover----------
-------------------------

	Excerpt from the ancient Joketsuzoku text on mythical creatures in 
China, 33rd revision, by elder matriarch Khu Lon:

 	"Perhaps among the most terrible of mythical creatures originating 
in the wilds of China is the Mogwai. Many discount the Mogwai as a 
harmless creature, perhaps even a 'cute pet', due to its initial 
stage appearance. However, the Joketsuzoku have had a long history of 
terrible dealings with this hated beast.
	"To understand the nature of the horror of the Mogwai, a number of 
things must be known about this dread monster:
	"1. Mogwai are impervious to all known forms of magic, including the 
legendary power of Jyusenkyou. However, it has been found that they 
are quite susceptible to herbal and chemical compounds.
	"2. Mogwai, in their first stage form, are immortal, assuming they 
live to adulthood.
 	"3. Exposure to water triggers the reproductive cycle of the Mogwai.
 If the Mogwai comes in contact with a small amount of water, it will 
spawn one infant Mogwai. The more water it is exposed to, the more 
infants it will spawn. If immersed in water, the Mogwai will spawn as 
many as a dozen infants, spawning twice per minute. If the Mogwai is 
not removed from the water before it can spawn ten times, after the 
tenth spawning it will dissolve.
	"4. Mogwai which reach adulthood are peaceful, meek and timid 
creatures, with an aversion to water and bright light, and will not 
feed if the moon is in the sky.
	"5. Young Mogwai are more curious and bold in exploration of their 
environment, and must be watched closely.
	"6. In small groups, Mogwai tend to stay near the place they 
perceive to be their home, and are content to eat, sleep, and 
occassionally explore their familiar surroundings. However, in larger 
groups, Mogwai develop a wanderlust similar to the Western rodent, 
the lemming. Mogwai in large groups will choose a direction at random,
 and take off. Wandering Mogwai are extremely dangerous, due to their 
second stage form.
	"7. If a Mogwai feeds between the time the moon rises to its full 
height and the time the early sun appears on the horizon, it 
undergoes a metamorphosis into its second stage form. Second stage 
Mogwai are much unlike their first stage forms: where the first stage 
Mogwai is small, furry, and to many people 'cute', the second stage 
Mogwai is a gruesome monster: tall and slender, with scaled, slimy 
green hide, reptilian eyes, large claws, needle-sharp teeth, and 
large leathery ears.
 	"8. Second stage Mogwai, commonly referred to as 'Gremlins', are 
destructive monsters. They delight in destroying anything and 
everything they can get their claws on. Houses, crops, infants...
nothing is safe from them.
	"9. However, Gremlins are much easier to kill than Mogwai, if they 
can be forced into the open. 
	"Gremlins will, like Mogwai, reproduce if exposed to water. However, 
unlike Mogwai, immersion in water will immediately dissolve a Gremlin.

	"Like Mogwai, Gremlins cannot tolerate bright light. However, where 
Mogwai are merely annoyed by it, it is harmful to Gremlins. Bright 
light will blind and burn a Gremlin. Direct sunlight will fry it to a 
smoking spot of grease.
	"The Joketsuzoku have as yet failed to discover the actual source of 
these creatures. Every two decades, an expedition is sent from the 
village to hunt for the birthplace of the dreaded Mogwai, in an 
attempt to exterminate the species."

		Ranma 1/2: MOGWAINIICHUAN

----------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------

That's it, folks. Those are the three fics which I had plans to write,
 but couldn't bring myself to either continue or toss into the 
Recycle Bin.

Do what you will with them, as of this moment I wash my hands of them 
and deny all knowledge.



____
------------------------------------------------------------
Ignorance is a disease best cured by maiming the patient.
"The Eternal Lost Lurker"
squn29a@prodigy.com
EtLostLurker@hotmail.com
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