On Tue, 19 Aug 1997 23:34:42 -0500, Keener <otakunxs@bellsouth.net>
wrote:

	If they had trusted her with all three of her gems, this would all be
over by now and she could be recieving her just rewards from a greatfull

receiving; grateful

and perhaps even willing, Tenchi. She wasn't sure what annoyed her the

either take out the comma here, or put another one after grateful.

most, the fact that she had only been allowed the let use one of her

allowed the use of one of her

	"Your giving her gems back? Are you out of your mind?" Ayeka's face

First your should be you're

turned a deep red as Tenchi looked at her abashidly. Scarlet colored her

abashedly

cheeks as she regained some of her composure, but her path was clear and
not even embarrassment was going to slow her down. She continued in a
quieter yet resolved tone. "Lord Tenchi, really, think about what your

you're

doing. She's already destroyed the house three times with just the one,
the woman has no control."

The

	"Listen little princess, I'll have you know I've been doing this a good
millenium before you were even a gleam in your mother's eye. I have

millennium

	Sitting opposite the discussion at the dinner table, studiously
ignoring the vapious blonde beside her, and only partially paying

vacuous, or vapid

attention to the argument in front of her, Kiyone sipped from her soup
bowl. "Point Ayeka." she interrupted into one of Mihoshi's police
stories, something about chasing Cabbits down holes and eating mushrooms
to get bigger, just what she needed, thought the first class detective,
MORE Mihoshi.

Oh dear, that WOULD be a problem, wouldn't it? (Pay no attention, just
trying out my Mihoshi imitation here. :))

	Ryoko's normally pale features flared under the red of her face as she
gritted her teeth. "Having reached puberty does NOT make one old.
Besides, I told you what I need was my other Gem. If you want me to help
defend your highness' highney, I need my Gems."

I think it's "hiney", unless she's making a pun.

	Her last thought came to a close as she let out an incredible assault
on the latest the Borg had to offer. Though their shields had improved
almost to the point to deflect it, the raw force of the blast was enough

I'd say 'almost to the point of being able to deflect it'

to send the cube spiraling. That gave Ryoko her first genuine moment of
satisfaction. The angle of it's spiral, it's subsequent running over of

its (both times)

	Just great, thought Ryoko, how do I explain this? She landed beside the
cube that had inserted itself rather nicely into the natural satellite,
burying for all times the man made satellite. Strangely enough, the
space telescope had NEVER given clearer images of the moon. Sighing to

What's strange about that? :-)

	"Where have you been? The Sol systems been attacked by these freaks,

system's

you can see what they did to the Moon. Just when we needed some kind of
dimensional whatsit and you're off promoting your stupid book."

She has a book?!?

	"Well, you see, it's partly my fault. Think back to a time when the
universe was younger, before Kagato, before even you. Think back to a
little girl, a super genius and exceptionally cute." Ryoko sighed as she
used the power in both her gems to lift the cube from its resting-place.
Washu crawled under and began surveying the devastation, a holographic
computer pad in hand. "Now think what happened when she accidentally
breaks open her hybrid, techn-organic Ant Farm."

D'OH!!!!!


Not bad at all, very amusing. It seems very balanced in terms of
Ryoko/Ayeka, which is commendable given the author's known pro-Ryoko
disposition. (R 1/2 authors take note!!)

Now, has anyone done Tenchi/Who? "How dare that Davros steal the credit
from a genius like me?!?" :-)


Gary Kleppe
kleppe@execpc.com, Home page http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe
My fanfics and the FFML map are on my comics/manga page,
       http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics