Ranma 1/2 - "All mixed up" part 1
-By Harper-

Disclaimer: The extremely funny and unique characters belong and are
copyrighted to the talanted and humourous Rumiko Takahashi, Viz
Communications, Shogakukan Inc. and other such clever companies who know
something good when they see it (ie, Ranma 1/2).

(XXX) = actions/description
~XXX~ = sound effects
[XXX] = signs (mostly Genma-panda but not always)


Chapter 1: One fine day...

(It is a warm and breezy summers day. Birds flutter in and out of trees and
cars push themselves through the puzzle they call a road network. People walk
their dogs along the unusually quiet streets of Nerima. It is still quite an
early morning in the ward of Nerima. Two high school students are seen
running down the lane, together. What is unusual is that they are a half-hour
early for school and also they are not fighting. Neither of them is talking
but both seem quite contented.
     Coming up to the opened gate, the boy and girl sigh in relief as they
notice the schoolyard is empty. They run in, their feet tip-tapping on the
concrete.)

Boy: (with a chinese shirt on) it looks like we've missed them.
Girl: yeah, now let's get to class, I can't really face all the -

~RUMBLE~

Boy: or maybe not... c'mon, we can still make i - 
 
(A flood of students suddenly surround the two from no-where. The noise
distracts the two students and they back up against each other, the boys
crowd on one side of the pair, the girls on the other. It seems like the
whole school is facing the two. The pair each recognise familiar faces and
voices in the crowd, ready to interrogate them.)

Sayuri: - hey Akane, what happened, are you alright?
Daisuke: - Ranma, who are you marrying?! Me and Hiroshi will have the other
two fiancee's! I'll have the Chinese babe if you don't want he -
Hiroshi: (to Ranma) - is there ever going to be a wedding or wh -
Yuka: (to Akane and Ranma) - does this mean you two really love each other?
Ranma: well....
Akane: you see....
Crowd: (waiting) what?!
Ranma: bye! (grabs Akane's arm and leaps over the crowd and bounds away over
the school fence and down the street)
Akane: Ranma! What are you doing?! We have school!
Ranma: you call that school?! I'm not in the mood for interrogation!
Akane: (tugs her arm free) but I have an assignment due in!
Ranma: the teachers will thank us for it. We'll just be too much of a
disturbance for the class, the school asking questions an' all that.
Akane: (suspicious) you just want a day off ...
Ranma: that's right!  
Akane: well I'm going back.
Ranma: are you sure you want to do that?
Akane: (Picture of earlier scene in schoolyard flashes past her eyes) I guess
I could do some work at home... (waits for insult, none comes) (she looks at
Ranma, surprised) 
Ranma: (smiles) what is it?
Akane: (a smile gradually appears, causing Ranma to lose a few hundred
heartbeats) nothing... nothing at all.

(It is now about 9.00am by the time they get back. Nabiki is sunbathing out
the back, and  Genma in panda form is being scolded by Nodoka for eating her
breakfast.)  

Genma-panda: [but I thought it was Ranma's!]
Nodoka: Genma dear, how can you be a good male role model to (notices the
two) hi son! Hello Akane! You two are back early!
Ranma: yeah, mom, we're not feeling too well.
Kasumi: (comes out to the garden with lemonade for everyone) Yes, Nabiki's
feeling the same...
Nabiki: (in swimsuit, lying back on a lounger, listening to her CD Player and
reading "New Men ") yeah, I'm psychologically distressed by the failed
wedding and need recuperation. (gets handed a drink) Kasumi, do you know were
my Smoke City CD has gone?
Kasumi: I think you left it in the kitchen when you got those chocolate chip
cookies.
Ranma: (narrowed eyes) I can see its traumatic effect on you.
Nabiki: (sipping on her lemonade) I'm in deep shock.
Ranma: (looks around and notises comeone missing) where'd Akane go?
Kasumi: I think she went for a little lie down...
Ranma: why, what's wrong?
Soun: you _do_ care? Oh joyous day!! (pats him on the back and starts crying)
Ranma: what are you talki -
Kasumi: daddy, you know you should take it easy, Dr. Tofu said that the
trauma of the wedding has made you more emotional than usual. I hope you have
been taking your medica - 
Soun: (to Kasumi) - will you get married, dear daughter? I would be so proud!
Just one wedding is all I ask !! Dr. Tofu is very nice and he does like
you...(turns away) Nabiki? You're a pretty girl, why don't you marry that
handsome gentlemen who's always round, what's his name, Tatewaki?
Kasumi: I think you should have a lie down....
Nabiki: amen to that!
Soun: you're always so right, my lovely Kasumi. What would I ever do without
you? (starts to cry and Kasumi gently leads him inside) 
Nodoka: now Genma, you are going to start to teach Ranma how to be more manly
and no tricks to get out of it!!
Genma-panda: [But I'm just a panda. I know nothing.]
Nodoka: (grits teeth) husband...   
 
(Half hour later)

Ranma: (flicking channels) nothing on.... nothing on... nothing on....
(switches TV off) (thinks) I wonder what's up with Akane? She's been awful
quiet these past few days...I'll go see her. (gets up and goes up to her
room, knocks on the door, no-one answers) (out loud) Ah well, what the heck.
(opens door slightly and looks in) Hey Akane, you awa - (starts, when he sees
Akane sleeping on the bed, her hair all messed up and a smile on her face)
You really are beautiful, what took stupid me so long to 
see it? But do you think of me the way I think of you? 
Nabiki: (behind him) (fully dressed) for 5000 yen I could find out.
Ranma: N-Nabiki! How much did you hear?  
Nabiki: oh, more than enough to pay for Oasis' new album...
Ranma: (grumbles) I'm going for a walk!
Nabiki: whatever you say... (watches Ranma leave house) (a smile grows on her
face) ...future brother-in-law.

(Ranma wanders aimlessly for a a few hours, thinking mainly about Akane. He
doesn't notice the scenery changing from Nerima to a small woodland nearby or
his stomach grumbling for food.)    

Ranma: how'd I get here? Better leave! (stops when he hears a voice calling
from outside the woodland)
Shampoo: Today, husband marry me and no have to deal with pervert girl
anymore! Life so good! (skips away out of sight)
Ranma: (comes out of shadow) close...I think I'll hole up in these woods for
a bit. Funny, I've never seen them before. (wanders more deeply into them,
the shadows getting more and more acute)

~rustle~

Ranma: ? (tenses) (pause) must have been my imagination.

~crack~

Ranma: who's there?

~sshhh~

Ranma: Gosunkugi?

~thunk~

Ranma: Ryoga?

~creek~

Ranma: Whoever you are, show yourself! 

~wooosh~

(Before he could react, Ranma sees a black object moving towards him at
incredible speed.)

Ranma: Ryoga?! Is that you? (prepares to strike when the black thing dives
under his legs and up to his head) wha - ? 

~Clong!~

(Ranma unconscious now.)

Voice: (dragging Ranma away) it's for your own good, boy.

(Over Nerima.....
Clouds start to form....)

~plish~
~plash~

Kasumi: I think I'll take the washing in, it's starting to rain...
Nabiki: what kind of rain is that? I've never seen purple rain before...
(goes outside to investigate, Nodoka is helping Kasumi.)
Akane: (practising kicks on a pig-tailed dummy outside, around one side of
the dojo) weird? (puts out hand to catch the mutated water) Very wierd... 

(An hour later...in some hut somewhere in the woodland....)

Ranma: (starts to wake up, rubs back of head and sits up) Owww, where am I?

~Click~

Ranma: (rushes to closed door and opens it) Where...who? (looks around and
sees the forest) What? (sees note stuck to door) What's going on? 

Note: [ Please forgive me. But if I hadn't kidnapped you would have met a
horrible fate. I would have liked to save your friends but you are the only
hope now. A strange rain will have, by now, fallen onto the ward of Nerima
and only the ward of Nerima because of it's paranormal attracting force. Take
the pills attached to this and you will suffer none of the side-effects of
this rain. It will fall once more and then never. Just be careful, your
friends personalities will have been twisted and you have to discover the
antidote. With deepest sympathy, 
X ]

Ranma: (disbelieving) oh really? Where's Mulder then? (turns over the piece
of paper)

Note: [By the way, in a matter of great urgency and importance....who plays
the dum guy in Friends? Write it here if you know. 
           P.S. this isn't the X-Files, dummy, it's real.]

Ranma: (not quite sure what to make of this) I'll just play it as it goes...
(Puts box of pills in pocket) (walks off)

(Five minutes later.)

Ranma: (running down street at 'normal' speed) Finally, back in Nerima!
(looks at ground and sees purple patches of water) hmm...maybe that guy was
right. (swallows pill) can't hurt. (enters the Tendo's) Hey everyone!
(no-one's in the front room) (looks round house) that's odd. (hears talking)
Sounds like Mr. Tendo... (goes to Tendo's room)
Soun: (lying on futon, flat out) (murmuring) Akane, Ranma, do have a piece of
your own wedding cake. It's so nice you got a cure and Ukyo, Kodachi and
Shampoo left willingly. Here, have some sake, I'm so happy you two got
married... 
Ranma: at least something seems normal... (leaves room) 

~Whump~

Ranma: (accidently bumps into someone) s-sorry! (steps back and looks at the
sight before him, the leather-jacketed, short-haired girl smoking a
ciggarette in his face) K-Kasumi?
Kasumi: if the name fits....y'know? (chews some gum) You gotta problem?
Ranma: yeah, what happened to you? Is this some wierd nightmare?
Kasumi: the only thing that was a nightmare was my life! Jeeze, I was, like,
dull. Now things are gonna change. I'm gonna get a Smashing Turnip's album
and then trash a few stores. See ya'!

~boom~

Kasumi: oh yeah, that's right! I put something in the oven, a tin of beans.
Forgot about it. Well have to go! I'm outy! (leaves with a swagger)
Ranma: Kasumi can't cook?! Why?!! Of all people?! Does this mean I have to
put up with Akane's cooking?! Oh, the inhumanity of it all!!! Get a grip
Ranma, stop talking to yourself! (smells the burning kitchen) Guess I'll have
to call the firemen! Unless they've gone wacko Jacko on me, too!

~slam!~

Ranma: (sees Akane running in, upset) what's the matter?
Akane: (with a half disgusted, half upset look on her face) I loathe you on
site! (starts crying and runs upstairs) 
Ranma: somethings never change... (follows her upstairs and is about to knock
on her closed door)
Akane: (in her room) (talking to no-one in particular) Why Kuno-chan? Why?! I
wuv you, can't you see that?! (cries even more) I luvvy wuvvy you!!! I'll be
a good wife and cook for you and do the housework and even give up martial
arts for my darling!
Ranma: (a couple of major electrical stroms in his soul later)
K-Kuno-_chan_?! Kuno-chan? I mean, c'mon, Kuno-chan?!  Luvvy-wuvvy?! (takes a
couple more pills) Is there anyone sane left? (hears noises in Nabiki's room)
Nabiki? (knocks on her door)
Nabiki: come in!! Please do, oh yes! (starts singing)
Ranma: uh right. (thinks) Please do? (opens door) (outloud) Nabiki?! What's
happened to you?! 

End of chapter 1.......

C&C desperately needed! This sorta thing's never been my forte! And I wrote
it within a day.