On Fri, 26 Sep 1997 15:47:37 -0400, Eric Adams
<eric.adams@decisionone.COM> wrote:

Gary Kleppe wrote:

Finally! This one took one heck of a long time, but here it is. Let me
know what you all think, and any suggested changes, major or minor.
Thanks to prereaders Chris McNeil, Matt Posner, and Adrian Wong for
their comments and suggestions.

Yes I agree far to long.  Its about bleeding time :)

Tell me about it....

                           SHAN PU: BIE LIAO

what does this mean again?

"We'll never meet again," according to Viz.

        For more info on the series, read the Info post I sent to FFML
(archive # 40384), or see the section for this fic on my web page,
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics#ham. The previous part can be found
here as well.

this archive thingy where is it how do you get into it?

I'll post a seperate thing explaining that.
 

        "Air China flight 69 for Tokyo and San Francisco is now ready.
At this time, we would like to begin by boarding passengers in rows one
through six."

Not to be nitpicky but it might go something like this instead.

... San Francisco is now ready for pre-boarding.  At this time, we woud
like to begin by boarding passengers travelling with small children and
requiring special assistance.

Okay its a nitpick but it did bug me. *shrug*

This is dubbed from the Chinese, remember; I'm not sure if they have
pre-boarding or not. (I'll resist the urge to start doing George Carlin
here; but note that Shampoo got IN, not ON, the plane. :))

        Hundreds of people rose from their seats in the airport lounge
and crowded into the small gangway tunnel.

Sarah: Damn thats a big plane.

International flights usually are...

Eric: gah what in gods name are YOU doing here?

Sarah:  I was just passing through looking for you evil cubicle and well
just thought you might want some company.

Eric's an evil cubicle? I never suspected.

Someone had said that Ririko wasn't really Akane's child, only Ranma's;
Shan Pu was curious as to whether there was any truth to that.

Eric: Aren't we all.  Boy did the Ranma cheat on her or something? 
Hermaphoriditic budding?

You'll find out. :)

Sarah:  Huh?  Isn't Akane the girl and Ranma the guy?

Not always...

        That was a place that she did not want. Shan Pu had always 

Eric: Shan Pu had always been good ...

Oopsie.

        Kuno Tatewaki had gone ahead to Japan, to bring together
whomever he could to help the Amazons. Shan Pu knew that Tatewaki was
attracted to her. Whether she wanted to pursue a future with him, she
could not say. Perhaps she needed to know him better. Perhaps she could
no longer trust her own heart, after the pain that loving Ranma had
brought.

Eric: wow after five years, boy this does not inspire me with confidence
about my recent breakup.

Well, it IS Kuno we're talking about...

Eric:  Wow I never thought it possible for me to sympathize with
Shampoo.  Evoking emotion in me, well done.

Thanks!

        How good it was to have the strength of an Amazon warrior.

Eric:  not to be picky again but you seem to waver between Shampoo
embracing her strength and chastising herself for failures.

The point is that she's hanging on to what strength she has in order not
to break apart completely. (Nothing wrong with being picky, BTW.)

Sarah:  doesnt she always refer to herself as Shampoo.  Shampoo not love
you, Mousse.  You know what I mean?

Depends on how you dub her. Viz has her do that, but the subbed anime
doesn't. I decided that she wouldn't do it in this series, because I
couldn't think of any real reason that anyone would actually talk like
that, unless it was to deliberately annoy people. :-P

        "My passing threatens to change things. Sometime in the future,
our village will be in great danger. I do not know when, or because of
whom. I do know that when it happens Shampoo and her sisters will need
your help. Your fighting skills, as well as your leadership ability."

Eric:  She had a foretelling?!?

Maybe even five or six tellings. ;-)

Sarah:  Also arent there others in her village that are trained and
leaders and may resent Ranma?  Like that woman who trained Kuno?

Ranma isn't supposed to lead the Amazons; just the Nerima gang, who are
mostly too... eccentric... for Lan to keep in line.

        "I had originally hoped that you would marry Shampoo and lead
your friends into combat as her husband. It is now clear that that isn't
going to happen."

Eric:  Is that why she was so persistant?

Yup.

        There was no question in Ranma's mind what his response would
be. To use his skills to protect those in need... it was what he had
quite literally spent his entire life training for. "I'll do everything
I can."

Sarah:  Sounds like a half hearted promise to me.

Eric:  You might want to think of making it something a little more
profound.

I'll see if I can think of anything...

        "So will I. You can count on both of us, Shampoo." Akane
extended a hand toward the young Amazon. Slowly, hesitantly, they shook
hands.

Sarah:  Humm, shaking hands seems so umm out of place here you know?

Really? What do you think would be better?

Sarah:  I'm confused though, i think Gary meant that what was going on
the room with Cologne was something that ought to be on television.

Yeah.

        Hikaru Gosunkugi listened through his headphones to the voices
coming onto his tape recorder. Ranma, Akane, and Mousse were making
their goodbyes, about to leave Shampoo alone with her great-grandmother.

Eric:  It might be somewhat more powerful if we heard there good byes.

I left it to the readers' imaginations. Couldn't come up with anything
all that great for it.

Eric:  Gosunkugi?  Gosunkugi?  I thought this was Shampoo's story.

Gos has a part in it, though. All of these characters are interrelated.

<Shampoo bursts through the wall>

Shampoo: You take back! Voodoo-spike-boy not Shampoo's relative!

Gary: That's NOT what I meant!!

Sarah:  whose gosunkugi?  he wasnt in any of the animes I saw.

You don't know who Gosunkugi is?? Go ye forth and read Viz' Ranma
"Graphic Novel" #4!

        Gosunkugi removed his headphones. He stashed his small receiver
unit and tape recorder behind a garbage can, with the tape still
running. For now, Cologne was dying. He had only met her a couple of
times while eating at her restaurant. Nevertheless he felt he ought to
say goodbye. It was all he could do. Maybe he would listen to the tape
when he returned. Maybe not.

Sarah:  Well how exactly is he going to explain he knows?

He could just go in asking for ramen and pretend he didn't know.

Sarah: wow, no curiousity at all.  No wonder some people think she's a
bimbo.  Blindly following orders. sheez.

Yup, that's her.

        "Ranma and his friends are skilled, but even they might not be
enough to tip the scales in our favor. There is a secret weapon,
concealed by me in the village. You must use it if you judge it
necessary. Listen closely...."

Eric:  I knew it!  Ancient Chinese Secret!

It's a teleporter! "Calgon, take me away!!"

Eric: well now that they're married he better stop thinking of her as
sexless.  sheez.

But they haven't had their honeymoon yet!

Sarah:  she's dead?!?  Already?!?  No touching death scene?!?  *power
blasts Eric again* did I miss it when you're stupid cubicle fell on me?

Cologne: *cough* I'm not... QUITE dead...

(Maybe I should put in something to establish that here.)

Sarah:  Oh no she's clueless *sigh* i always liked the smart Kasumi
better.

Eric: *groans* you only ... ever... saw her in the anime.

She's not meant to be *totally* clueless here... this scene probably
needs more work. I hate to cut it, since it's about the only funny scene
in this chapter...

        "Oh my, yes," Kasumi answered without missing a beat. "After
all, he founded the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts and trained
both of our fathers. Imagine how much work and dedication that must have
taken. If not for the techniques that he invented, refined, and passed
along, neither of you two would have anywhere near the level of skill
that you do now. Why, if not for..."

Sarah: didn't he save miss hinako as well?  

Yeah, that too!

        "Young lady, I'm sixty-nine years old, and I don't have your
Amazon constitution. I can't fight the way I did back then. But there is
something else that can be done."

Eric:  how long ago does Inu Yasha take place?

Not the same Kaede.

Eric: oh my gosunkugi.  But he's a complete incompetent!

Me, do the obvious? Nope. Interesting the way you phrased the comment,
though. :)

        "Shampoo! Are you..." Mousse's voice carried down from above.
"Are you trying to tell me something?"

Eric: *hefts a brick* Here Shampoo use this. its less subtle.

Sarah: *hefting an anvil* this might work more.

Heh. Don't bet on it...

        Someday, somewhere, she knew that this would mean trouble.

Sarah: you think? humm could be a bit more dramatic or maybe not as uhhh
cheesy.

I'll see what I can do.

        Cologne gazed into empty space through closed eyes. Her spirit
now stretched ahead into the future.

Eric: are you sure stretched is the right word?

Um, is there a better one?

        Cologne's brow tightened as her mouth opened. "No... not
Shampoo. No...."

Sarah: no too much foreshadowing!

Eric: she could be cringing at the thought of Shampoo falling for Kuno.

Ha ha! Blade said the same thing.

        Great hardships. Whatever they were, whatever else the future
would bring, Shampoo would have to deal with it. Alone.

Sarah: seems a tad cold for her to think in that manner.

Given the circumstances...

        Cologne's only response was silence, and the blank stare of
motionless eyes.

Sarah: humm perhaps a better word other than motionless.

I'll see what I can think of...

Eric: coincidentally when did she reveal she was looking for someone to
train?

Mousse and Shampoo blabbed it.

Eric: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Interesting reaction. :)

Eric:  Gary lead us astray?

Would I do that?? ^_^

        Some people have asked why I'm using different spellings for
Shampers' name. Basically, I'm trying to get away from the old

Eric: like say... Shampers?

Shampie? Shampster? The Shamp-meister?

"toiletries" spellings. For continuity's sake these are still used in
the flashback scenes, but in the future scenes I use the pinyin Chinese
forms, Shan Pu and Mu Si. I'm not sure what the correct one for Cologne

Eric: Isn't it like Khu Lon or something like that?

Nope. Pinyin doesn't even have a "kh".

Eric: ahem overall the best of your prologues so far.  It had emotion
and feeling.  It also evoked emotion in the reader which isnt easy.

Thanks, I appreciate hearing that.

Sarah:  I'm also curious as to want role Kaede may play.

Eric: yes i like the little mini-crossover.

Er, it's not much of a crossover. Kaede is sort of based on the
Inu-yasha character but really isn't her.

Sarah: Mousse is a truly  despicable character in this.

Is he coming off *that* bad? Ah well...

Eric:  I hope you're next story lets him grow up some.

We'll see...

Anyways good job on this one.

Sarah: *clapping* yes it was fun... well bye!

Thanks for the review, you two! It was lots of fun!



Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics