Ranma: Ooookay.  That was weird.

Ryoga: ...

Ranma: I mean, this is what, the third time this was released to the list?
At least a new chapter was attached to it.  

Ryoga: ...

Ranma: The story itself isn't bad. I like the setup and the plot lines.  And
the part about my mother was real eerie.  So it has some promise to it.

Ryoga: ...

Ranma: Oh, for God's sake, Ryoga, what is up with you?!

Ryoga:  M-m-me...and...*Nabiki*?!

Ranma: Oh, brother.

Ryoga: Nabiki and m-m-me?!

Ranma: Ryoga...

Ryoga: *Me* and *Nabiki*?!?!?!?!

(Ranma punches Ryoga out of his seat.)

Ranma: Man, snap out of it!

Ryoga: RANMAAAAA!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THAT!

Ranma: Hey, could be worse.  Look who Ucchan was paired up with.

(Ryoga freezes.)

Ryoga: Oh, yeah.  Now that's scary. A beefed up Gosunkugi. (shudder) I think
I'm gonna be sick.

Ranma: Well, with the way the story flip-flops back and forth between
between scenes that took place a few minutes ago, I can see why.

Ryoga: Yeah, that did get kinda annoying after a while.  For a moment, I
thought the writer had accidently copied some passages twice.  Turns out
that it's just a writing technique.  Still, reading the same words over and
over got boring after a while.  I wound up skipping down several passages.

Ranma: So did I.  Going to one scene, then jumping back to several minutes
before, then jumping back tends to lose the reader's focus.  Doing it once
in a chapter is okay, but several times can really confuse us readers.  Give
it a rest, huh?

Ryoga: Other than that, I thought the story was good, though I thought
Mousse was dead for good.  Shampoo now has his ghost trailing after her
forever.  Man, does that guy ever let up?

Ranma: Dude, I'd be more scared of Shampoo.  You know, for a dark story,
this sure has a lot of humor bits.

Ryoga: Maybe the writer meant as the story deepens.  I mean, the part about
your mother made me real uneasy.

Ranma: Same here.  We'll get to see Shampooo in action, I hope.  And I'm
rather curious to see *your* kid, Ryoga, heh, heh.  I think I like this
pairing a lot more than me and Akane's.  

Ryoga: (groan) Oh, man, don't remind me.  I could've swore I was with Akari
in the last rewrite he sent out...hey, wait.  If Nabiki and I had a kid,
that would mean that we would've, wouldve--urk!

(Ryoga passes out in a fountain of blood.)

Ranma:  Boggles the mind just thinking about it, huh?  Hm...what exactly is
a Wunderkind anyway?
============================================================================
/===\     LaShawn M. Taylor (tbone@ccm.net)     MSTie#83924
|^ ^|\    "I never want to be satisfied.
 \v/\|    Just when I thought I knew everything, 
    |\    it was a lie.	
    \|    For so long now, I've been wasting time, wasting time..."
	                 -- PFR
T-bone's cafe is being moved to a new place--look for it soon!
============================================================================