Here it is... My first ffml attempt at a not-so-serious fic.
While it's not Evanjellydonut, it's a try. (At least it messes with the
Ranma:Eva ratio a bit.)
Send your CnC to tom-cnc@tr.ml.org.
Tom
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Neon Genesis Evangelion - For a Change. 1.0
Part 1: In which Shinji is broke and orphans are preferred.
Spoiler Info: This occurs in the alternate universe that is defined in
episode 26 of the series. Or at least, it's inspired by
it, sorta.
Don't archive this version, except in the FFML archives. I'll post
this to the Eva ML and RAAC in an archivable form.
Evangelion is copyright GAINAX/Project EVA. As a point, it's not worth
their while to sue me.
"Orphans Preferred" is probably trademarked by the US Postal
Service. Or at least it should be.
The characterization is not what you're used to. This is quite
intentional.
If you were expecting a serious fic you'll be disappointed. I have a
few of them bouncing around, but none ready to be written. So you get
this instead. Enjoy.
"Persons attempting to find a motive in this
narrative will be prosecuted;
persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished;
persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.
By Order of the Author
-- Mark Twain, "Tom Sawyer"
Shinji sat silently, reviewing the results of the morning, trying
to rationalize them in his mind. Who's fault was it, he asked himself.
Shinji.
But surely it couldn't be his fault. He'd done everything the
usual way. It couldn't be his fault, could it? So whose fault was it?
Shinji!
No! No! Every fiber in his being protested against this. How could
he be to blamed for what happened? It was her fault, it must have
been!
"SHINJI!"
Asuka's slap broke his train of thought. He looked around, seeing
only the empty desks of the classroom. "Class ended five minutes ago."
He folded his laptop shut, and the two of them proceeded to the
door.
"You've been thinking about the new girl again."
"I was not!"
"You were too, stupid pervert."
"But I wasn't..."
--------------------------------------------------
A darkened room, several hundred meters below.
"The next move is yours, Ikari. We will not wait forever."
"I understand. But I will not move until the time is right." The
younger man pushed the glasses back up his nose. For a split second
they reflected a non-existent light.
--------------------------------------------------
"I'm bored, Shinji."
"You're always bored."
"Well, I'm even more bored today." Asuka looked around the apartment
where Shinji lived. "I want to do something."
"We could do some fanfic reviews..."
"Stupid Shinji!" She threw a pillow at him. "I'm not _THAT_
bored!"
"Well, you suggest something."
"Ok, I will! Why don't we go to a movie."
"No."
"How about the Marmalade Boy movie?! I hear there's over two
minutes that aren't flashbacks!"
"No."
"Men in Mauve?"
"No."
"Spaceballs 2: The Search For More Money?"
"No."
She flung another pillow at Shinji. "Why not? Do you have
something better in mind?"
"No, I'm broke."
She would have flung yet another pillow at Shinji, but she had
already thrown the ones within reach. "Broke?! How come?"
"Well, I have no money, and I have no job. It's as simple as that."
"So, we have to find you a job. It's as simple as that. And, of
course, I will have to work at the same place so as to keep you out of
trouble."
"Of course." Shinji grumbled.
"Yes, I will find us a job, but first I will go and get us
drinks."
And with that, Asuka walked into the kitchen, and into destiny.
--------------------------------------------------
Ritsuko looked at the ceramic cats, and smiled. Soon, she would
get some pilots for her Evangelion. Yui and the others all had better
things to do, and they had stuck her with the giant robots. But now,
with the new pilots soon to arrive, she would get even with them.".
She looked at the cat statues on her desk. "Yes my kittens, I will
soon have my revenge!"
Her rant was interrupted by a voice from the back of the room.
"Hi Ritsuko! They hired me to work with you and the pilots!"
There was a thud as Ritsuko's head hit the desk.
--------------------------------------------------
"What's this?", Asuka asked. It was a photocopied sign,
obviously, but this wasn't what triggered Asuka's reaction. Rather it
was what was on the paper that triggered her interest. "Shinji, get
over here now."
As he arrived, she handed him the soda. Together they read the
sign.
------------------------------
Want an After-school Job? Need some money?
Become an Evangelion Pilot!
You can change mankind's fate...
While maintaining flexible hours!
Join NERV... See the ground!
To apply, call 555-NERV, extension E.
Orphans Preferred.
------------------------------
"Orphans preferred?" Shinji wondered out loud. Of course, by that
time Asuka had already picked up the phone.
To Be Continued...
Next Time in Evangelion - For a change:
- Shinji and Asuka get the job.
- Kensuke codes in PERL.
- And many more of your favorite characters!
Don't miss it!
1.0 6 Oct 1997
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Send your comments to tom-cnc@tr.ml.org.