Let's see if I can now start the daunting task of finishing old stuff...
In light of what I've posted this past year, RNA^2 seems like a warm
perfect Sunday afternoon, without homework, without troubles...  Well
enough of that... :P

Hopefully I used to write decently... this is the first time this story
has been posted... :P

RNA^2

Introduction.

    A giant pitch-black room.  The only thing visible, a tiny
sphere in the center transfixed by some invisible source of
light.  

    Karin Aoi, ace DNA operator, soon to be world-savior,
silently rode the lift down.  As she approached the murky bottom
below, the tiny gleaming sphere ever so slowly grew.  The lift
lurching to it's silent stop, Karin step out, her cape billowing
in the still air (by no means, an amazing feat), her mind lost in
thought and rapture.  'Oh, how history must have waited for this
moment!  Soon, I shall rid the world of all the Mega-playboys in
one swift blow!  I Karin Aoi!  Top DNA Operator!'  Unable to
contain her joy, she finally verbalized her feelings.

    "Oh!  This is so COOL!"  she shouted to no one in particular. 
She just said that for the rush.

    As she approached the sphere, a thin line in the shape of the
doorway appeared on the seemingly perfect unblemished surface,
and an openning revealed itself.  Without slightest hesitation,
Karin bounded up the steps into the time machine.

    The interior of the sphere was a stark contrast to the
darkness outside.  The inside was a shiny hue of light, and for
some strange reason, almost no shadow was cast on the ground as
Karin walked in.  As soon as she entered, her excitement was
almost immediately surpressed by the silent, hypnotic hum that
seemed to flow through her.  

    "Time transfer in T minus 60 seconds."  The computer
continued with its monotone countdown.  Confident about her
impending success, Karin stood patiently.  'Oh this is such an
easy mission!  Just shoot the Mega-playboy, and return!  And I
get my dreams of a sweet home, a cute home, and a husband!' 
Before Karin could lament about not having a husband yet, a few
cells in the way back recesses of her head screamed.

    "Oh my god!  Oh my god!  Oh my god!"  Karin pranced out of
the room, and scrambled wildly in the darkness, looking for
something.  "How could I forget the special bullet!"  She
amazingly found her workbench in the darkness in seconds, and she
grabbed the first thing that feels like a bullet.  Satisfied, she
ran back into the sphere, just in the nick of time.

    The countdown slowly reached zero, and the entryway to the
sphere was sealed off.  As hundreds of hyper-capacitors charged
up, the time machine slowly levitated, and electrical energy
arced over its hull.  Finally, enough energy was collected, and
all of it was released in a micro-instant, propelling the time
machine to the past.

Chapter 1: The Mega-playboy awakens!

    Kasumi Tendo, her face filled with expectation and joy, a
certain springiness to her step, and humming a cheerful tune,
slowly walked, ladden with only a basket containing a freshly
prepared lunch, a delicious, yet simple meal of perfectly
prepared eels over steamed rice, with some salted seaweed.
(Personally, I'm one of the rare type of people who gag on
Japanese cuisine, whose main staples are seafood, which I detest
strongly.)

    Kasumi looked hopefully ahead, as she thought about what to
do.  Surprisingly, she was determined about what to do.  She knew
that she loved Dr. Tofu, from the first moment she had seen him. 
Kasumi was fourteen years old.

    Kasumi was only fourteen years old when she assumed full
responsibility of bringing up her younger sisters.  Before then,
her father had tried valiently to raise them.  But unfortunately,
it seemed that Akane had inherited her particular style of
cooking from her father.  (As well as the author's sister.  If
any of you have the misfortune to eat my sister's cooking, I give
my apologies ahead of time....)  Well, that's besides the
point...

    One day, Kasumi happened to be walking home from market, when
something caught her attention.  Looking in the window, she saw a
young man, no older than twenty years of age, working very hard
on a patient, while his strict master constantly shouted
instructions at him.  Despite his stern but kindly master's
constant tirade, he bravely continued, as if he really wanted to
help the patient.  And then coincidentally, he turned his head,
and saw Kasumi standing in the window watching.

   He smiled, just before his master knocked him on the head for
not focusing on the patient.  With a sigh, the young man turned
back to his patient.  She would later learn that this man, who
seemed to be the epitome of dedication, diligence, and maturity,
was no other that Dr. Tofu.

    But soon after, drastic changes happened in Kasumi's life,
and she, as most girls around 14 years of age, fully bloomed, and
became a woman.  Men started to notice her, and such, but for
Kasumi she felt only one man was right for her.  However, as she
bloomed, not only did other men notice, so did Dr. Tofu, and he
had a particular reaction whenever she showed up.  He just went
crazy.

    Kasumi stopped reminiscing about the past.  She was now
looking at the future, and she fervently wished that Dr. Tofu
would once break through his strange behavior and tell her his
true feelings.  Kasumi's heart felt as if it were on some wicked
seesaw, her friends and family telling her that Dr. Tofu was in
love with her, and Dr. Tofu just acting completely ridiculous
whenever she was around.  She wanted something more, she wanted
commitment, and she wanted proof.  She loved Dr. Tofu with all
her heart, and she felt it was about time that he reciprocated
that feeling.

    That was objective of Kasumi's mission that day.  She
desperately seeked Dr. Tofu to determine the truth of his
feelings.

* * *

    "Dr. Tofu, can you really help my father?"  Dr. Tofu felt a
bead of sweat roll down his forehead, as he looked at the young
and pretty woman next to him.  With the back of his hand, Dr.
Tofu wiped away the sweat and cleaned his glasses, which were
just had a hint of white to them.  Dr. Tofu then taking a few
deep breaths to calm himself of his nervousness to cute women,
focused on the patient who was moaning in pain on the table.
(Ok, so I took a liberty with Dr. Tofu.  It's the only thing I
could think of to parallel Junta's Allegy to Women.)

     It took Dr. Tofu only a glance to determine the problem.  It
was a combination of a pulled back muscle as well as a misaligned
vertebra.  Smiling, Dr. Tofu knew that the solution was quite
simple.  'Just a couple minutes of massage, and he'll be as good
as new.'  Dr. Tofu's gentle yet powerful hands probed into the
patient's back, massaging out the kinks.  To the woman's delight,
her poor father's began to show relief.

    At that moment, the door to the clinic slid open.  "Hello,
Dr. Tofu, are you in?"  Dr. Tofu, who was so intent in curing his
patient, didn't quite hear the newcomer.  But his mind slowly
realized who had just entered his clinic, and it was no ordinary
person.  Dr. Tofu's mind started to grind as if on a marathon. 
'Kasumi!  Oh my god!  What should I do!  I should tell her my
true feelings!  Yes!  I should tell her that I love her.  Yes! 
You can do it!  It's easy!'  Dr. Tofu felt confidence flow
through him, and he turned his head slowly to meet Kasumi.

    As soon as their eyes met, his confidence melted like butter
over a blowtorch, his iron will corroded away, and nervousness
took over Dr. Tofu's mind.  In an instant, his glasses were
fogged up thicker than any fog in London.  Dr. Tofu felt all
reason and rationality leave his mind.  All that was left in his
head was a chaotic swirl of conflicting ideas and notions. 
Standing up, Dr. Tofu accidentally pushed his unfortunate
patient's backbone into a disarray.  The screams of a dying man
and his horrified daughter could be heard a block away.

    "W-Wh-Why Kasumi!  What bring you to this place?"  Almost
immediately Kasumi felt the possibilities of a romantic mood dim. 
Like who can be romantic when a man in his death throes is
screaming next to them.

    Kasumi still couldn't help but verbalize her concern for the
man on the examination table.  "Oh my!  He must be in pain!  Dr.
Tofu, what's wrong with him?"  Dr. Tofu looked back at his
patient, and blindly poked around, aggravating the damage
further.  The screams of a man in agony could be heard up to a
mile away.

    Kasumi mentally groaned at these developments.  She felt that
there was no way that their conversation be pointed at a more
personal and more romantic topic.  But for the sake of her own
desiring heart, Kasumi tried to salvage the conversation.  "I
brought you some lunch."

    Dr. Tofu took the basket, and took a huge bite out of it. 
"How sweet of you Kasumi!"  Dr. Tofu chewed uncontrollable, his
mouth somehow miraculously making the straw safe to swallow.  He
savored the gritty texture as the mangled straw slide down his
throat into his stomach churning with enough acid to melt
anything.  "And how considerate!  I always thought my diet lacked
fiber!"  With that said, he commenced the mindless consumption of
a straw basket.  Everyone could only watch and wonder what was
going through the doctor's mind.

     That was almost the last straw for Kasumi.  For many years
she had been trying different ways to attract Dr. Tofu.  She
offered food, she was polite, graceful in his presence.  Maybe
what called for was a show of trust.  Keeping that thought in
mind, Kasumi decided however she was experienced, she might as
well try body language.  Holding her breath, Kasumi nudged Dr.
Tofu.  

    Contrary to Kasumi's prediction, the nudge served to push
poor Tofu farther away from sanity, and his glasses fogged up so
much that it seemed that some miscreant had painted the glasses
with white paint.  Dr. Tofu stumbled around a bit, and in his
feverish attempts to regain control of the situation, he tried to
help his patient, who was still flailing about wildly on the
table.

    Dr. Tofu grabbed, and pulled.  He was so nervous that his
mind short circuited, his hands were trembling, and he didn't
notice that he had just given his patient a nasty case of
whiplash.  Kasumi almost flinched.  'So that didn't work.' 
Kasumi was about to give up.  She had hinted, and still even with
the most obvious of techniques had failed.  Kasumi thought about
leaving, but her heart throbbing for love from Dr. Tofu forced
her to stay.

   Dejectedly, Kasumi looked up at Dr. Tofu.  "Who do you love?" 
For a moment, the chaos in Dr. Tofu's mind cleared up a bit as he
digested when Kasumi said.  'Yes!  Yes!  Say that you love her! 
Say that!' a couple insignificant neurons were firing off in his
head, but a couple neurons tend not to be a match for a couple
billion screwed up brain cells.  However, Fate seemed to be
smiling, and Dr. Tofu managed a step towards Kasumi.

    "I love..."  his lips were saying, as if he were struggling
to talk.  Tofu's hand's slowly raised, and Kasumi felt her hope
raise again.  She too took a step towards Tofu, but that was not
good.  As soon as he registered an approaching Kasumi, he
completely lost his mind, turned sharply, and glomped on top of
the terrified woman next to him, trying to revive her fainted
father.  "you!"

    Stars went became black holes, planes crashed, and Kasumi's
hope was suddenly put to an all time low.  Holding back her
tears, Kasumi dashed out of the clinic trying not to think about
Dr. Tofu and his lover.  With every step, a tear would manage to
sneak out, and soon her self control degraded, and she cried.

* * *

    Dr. Tofu replayed what happened back during lunch time, and
he found that a huge portion of his memory was still lost.  He
had completely forgot the block of time between Kasumi appearing
at the clinic, and him paying a very distraught man and his
daughter a hefty sum for damages.  Dr. Tofu stared at himself in
a passing window, and almost cursed himself for his nervousness. 
'Why can't I just go and tell Kasumi that I love her?  Why?'  Dr.
Tofu decided not to dwell on negative thoughts, and he continued
wandering slowly thought the market.

    Through stands he wandered, pausing to pick up a couple
vegetables or so for a dinner.  Frowning, Dr. Tofu looked at his
selection, and felt his stomach churn at another spartan dinner. 
He continued shopping for groceries.

    On top of a building, a person peered down at Dr. Tofu. 
Almost disappointed, Karin watched her computer analyse Dr. Tofu
to come up with a 99.9% probability that the doctor indeed was
the Megaplayboy in the flesh.  She grimaced as she watched the
doctor calmly mingled in the crowd of people.  No women were
crying out passionately.  He wasn't even preying on the women. 
In fact, he seemed to be somewhat avoiding all of the cute women. 
Karin muttered to herself.  "I don't think he is the
Megaplayboy."

    Yawning, Karin contemplated wasting another hour watching Dr.
Tofu rather quietly buying groceries.  She looked at her watch,
and complained to herself.  'And I thought this would be
interesting....  I guess I nothing is going to happen.'

    Well, fortunately for Karin, a lot of things happen in
Nerima.  "Ah!!!!! It's not my fault!"  Karin's head snapped up,
and she saw a rather nice looking boy dash madly from roof to
roof trying to avoid a mob behind him.

    "Ranma!  I will crush you for kissing Akane!"  Karin looked
at the person immediately behind the person they called Ranma. 
He too was kind of cute, and had a stylish bandanna in his hair. 

    "Shampoo make Ranma love Shampoo!"  Karin flinched when a
cute girl with purple hair, dangerously waving two giant maces
appeared, in hot pursuit.

    The boy in lead screamed.  "It's not my fault, Ryoga!"  He
looked straight ahead, and suddenly noticed Karin who happened to
be in a rather dangerous position, in the path of an oncoming
mob.  He instantly turned, and everyone followed suit, except for
the boy named Ryoga who seemed to be lost and crashed through a
chimney, and through a maze of television antennae.  Karin almost
flinched everytime that unfortunate boy crashed through an
obstruction.

    Suddenly, a woman wearing a skimpy leotard and trailing a
long ribbon landed on the roof right next to Karin.  She looked
down at Karin as if she had some superiority.  "Where did my
lover, dear Ranma-sama go?"  Karin stared blanked, and she
pointed in the direction Ranma took off.  Without a reply, the
woman leaped off screaming and laughing insanely.  "Ranma-sama,
your fiance is coming!"

    Karin shook her head, for the events just detailed happened
in a brief span of eight seconds, a guaranteed mental overload
for any normal person.  She sat there, and allowed the experience
to slowly sift through her head, and then she suddenly remembered
her task.  She turned back to the street to find that the entire
market had closed, and everyone gone.

    Karin swore, "Shit!  I should have put a bug on him."  She
slapped herself for not thinking ahead, and she exhausted herself
for the next hour or so, looking for the Mega-playboy.

* * *

    Gasping hard from a grueling run from rooftop to rooftop,
Karin found her quarry in the most unlikely place, back at his
clinic!  Karin sat down on the roof to ready herself for a long
time of observation.  She looked down, and she belief in the
Mega-playboy slowly weared away.  Dr. Tofu had the trappings of a
nice person.  He respected women, and he was dedicated to his
job.  He definitely didn't fit the description of the
Mega-playboy.

    Yawning, Karin almost fell asleep until by chance, a cute
woman walked into the clinic.  Her eyes snapping open, and her
sagging posture straighting up, Karin fiddled with her head gear,
and focused in on Dr. Tofu and their conversation.  Her face
looked eager waiting for some slip up to reveal his Mega-play. 
Unfortunately there was no slip up.  Dr. Tofu didn't try to make
out with his patient.  In fact, Dr. Tofu's pulse noticeably
increased when he saw the woman.

    Dejected, Karin mumbled.  "Maybe the Mega-playboy within
hasn't surfaced yet."  Again, Karin slowly wandering into the
realm of sleep, when a scream woke her up again.  Rubbing her
tired eyes, Karin grumpily stared down into the street, only to
find Dr. Tofu bidding his patient goodbye, when on the horizon, a
crazed red-haired girl dashed towards the doctor.

   Without hesitation, the girl leaped into the doctors arms and
shouted.  "Get it off of me!  Get the cat off!  Get off!  Get it
off!"  Karin almost laughed when she looked down.  The girl
obviously had some sort of negative thing for animals.  A cat was
fiercely digging into her back.  A cute tiny black pig had locked
its jaws into the poor girl's thigh, and a crazed white duck was
tugging at the girls' pig tail.  Surprisingly, Dr. Tofu seemed
not to be nervous around this girl, and he calmly shooed away the
animals.

    Karin sat down looking away from the scene below.  There was
no way in hell that Dr. Tofu acted like the Mega-playboy.  Maybe
there was another person that looks exactly like him.  Maybe a
one on one interview was called for.  Karin slowly poked her head
above the ledge, and watched the girl slowly walk away.  Making
sure the street was clear, Karin leaped down from the roof, and
drew her sidearm at the doctor.

    "Excuse me, may I have a few words with you?"  Dr. Tofu took
one look at the huge barrel that was pointed straight at his
head, and he acquiesed.

* * * 

    Dr. Tofu looked at the strange person seated across from him. 
For one thing, who in their right mind would wear a heavy coat
and a rather silly looking helmet during summer.  Dr. Tofu shook
his head, 'The heat must be unbearable!'  Understandibly,
everyone else in the cafe had similar thoughts, and their
attention was directed from their everyday lives to Dr. Tofu and
the stranger.

    Karin looked nervously at all the people around, staring at
the two of them.  For one thing, Karin prefered to work
inconspicuously, and her being the focus of a lot of attention
proved to be unsettling.  She whispered to the man across from
him.  "Why is everyone looking at us?"

    Dr. Tofu politely whispered back.  "It seems that your choice
of clothing is inappropriate for this weather.  Why are you
wearing that helmet and heavy coat?"  Karin looked down at her
standard issue all-weather uniform.  Strangely, she didn't think
her choice of clothing was inappropriate at all.  In fact, her
choice of clothing was the rage in 2096.  'Perhaps, the people of
1996 don't have any taste at all.'  

    "Would it be better if I got rid of the helmet?"  Karin at
least wanted to make Dr. Tofu feel at ease before his treatment. 
Dr. Tofu nodded vigorously.  He too didn't like the fact that he
couldn't see the face of the person he was talking with.  Karin
pushed a button, and the helmet slowly deflated with a very
noticeable hiss.  She tossed back the helmet, and allowed her
lockes of blue hair scatter over her shoulder.  

    Understandably, Karin's friends always said she had good
looks, and the fact that Dr. Tofu's pulse jumped a little and his
glasses fogged a little was justification.  Besides, a lot of
boys in the cafe turned their heads away from their girlfriends
to Karin.  Karin looked at Dr. Tofu, and continued earnestly. 
Dr. Tofu made an obscure observation.  "So you probably think
you're from the future?"  he half-joked.

    This evoked extreme surprise from Karin, and she
half-recoiled out of the seat.  "What!  How did you know?"  Dr.
Tofu shook his head.  'This is one seriously delusioned woman.' 
Karin calmed herself down, it just wasn't professional when the
DNA operator is panicking.  "Never mind.  Are you familiar with
DNA operation?"

    Dr. Tofu's face screwed slightly.  He had heard his master's
dreams of being able to manipulate DNA, and he was quite
influenced by the ideas..  But, he still was quite unfamiliar with
the theory and mechanics of accurately manipulating DNA.  "Not
really, just the basics."  Karin looked up, quite impressed that
her target was well-educated.  She had spent a great deal of time
hunting down targets that proved to be dull-witted idiots who had
limited ability to comprehend such simple topics.

    "Well, then I can cut to the chase.  In this time, a certain
character, the Mega-playboy, a genetic mutation, appeared.  He
had this power over women, and he slept with 100 women who
subsequently had 100 children.  Of these children, all of the men
inherited the power of the Mega-play from their father, and each
of these men slept with 100 woman, and so on."  Karin was quite
surprised by the look of horror on Dr. Tofu's face.

    "You're telling me that there with be a population
explosion?"  Karin nodded.  "So what are you doing here in the
past?"  Karin shook her head, Dr. Tofu besides being well
educated also seemed to be an observant individual.

    "I'm a DNA operator, and I created this bullet to neutralize
the threat of the Mega-playboy."  Karin pulled out a bullet, and
showed it to Dr. Tofu, whose eyes openned even wider.  "This is
the DCM that contains the DNA to neutralize the Mega-playboy."

    "So you hope to fix the future by eliminating the first
Mega-playboy?"  Karin was glad that this conversation was passing
by rather quickly.  She hated it when she had to delve into deep
explanations.

    "Precisely.  Besides, this is a well paying job."  Karin's
voice soon reflected the fervor and determination that forced her
to go to the barbaric past.  "As soon as I complete my mission, I
get to fulfill my dreams of a cute pet, a handsome husband, and a
sweet home!"  Karin's face dimmed slightly, a contrast from the
brilliant glow that she had.  "But I haven't found a husband
yet."  Dr. Tofu laughed uneasily.  For some reason, his instincts
were telling him that something weird was going on.  Perhaps this
girl in front of him was just a tad too insane, a la Kodachi, or
this girl was just playing make-believe.

    "Well, it's been nice chatting with you.  I really have to
return to my clinic."  Dr. Tofu stood up, but Karin waved her
hands around crazily to stop him.

    "Just a moment!  What's your name, and what's your blood
type?"  Dr. Tofu looked confused for a moment.  'Why would she
want to know my name and blood type?'  Well, he decided that
there was no harm in telling her.

   "Tofu Ono, type AB"  Karin's eyes lighted up, for his name as
well as blood type matched.  There was no mistaking it now.  She
now had sufficient proof to verify the true identity of Tofu. 
"Well, it's been nice meeting you."  Dr. Tofu stood up, and
proceeded to walk away.

    Karin pulled out her sidearm, and chambered the DCM.  She
could help but feel a little sorry for Dr. Tofu, who seemed like
a really nice individual, as she aimed.  "Goodbye, Mega-playboy." 
Dr. Tofu froze stiff, as reality struck him.  He braced himself,
heard a gunshot, and felt himself fly forward, and land on the
ground.  Consciousness faded away.

* * *

    "Yahoo!" cried out Karin Aoi as she ran from the cafe,
ignoring the screams of the other patrons.  Karin didn't bother
looking back, but she felt this doubt slowly growing in her
heart.  She surpressed it, as she focused on her complete
success.  'Not only do I get away from this barbaric past!  I get
my sweet home, cute pet, and handsome husband!'  Karin grumbled
as she stubbed her toe on the curb.  'But I haven't found a
husband yet.'

    Eventually, making note to avoid the screaming emergency
vehicles that sped down the street periodically, Karin made it
back to her hide out.  Climbing into the time machine, Karin
settled down into her seat, and allowed her trembling heart to
calm down.  She did have to admit, it felt nice that her mission
was over.  She really didn't want to shoot Tofu, but for the
future's sake, she had to pull the trigger.  Suddenly, a monitor
sizzled with static, and the image of her boss appeared.

    "Ouch!  Aoi!  So did you find the Mega-playboy?"  Karin
whirled around her chair, and flashed a confident smile.

    "Yes!  I found him, and the problem's been taken care of
already.  He should be coming out of his coma any moment now!" 
She suddenly felt her gut tighten.

    "Oh dear!  There might be a problem!"  Suddenly the screen
dissolved into static as the intertime communication link was
broken.  Furious, Karin leaped out of the chair, and began
hammering her control panel.  (According to the troubleshooting
guide of my computer, "If all else fails, hit the computer.")

    "What!  Don't hang up!  What!"  Drops of perspiration slowly
formed and rolled down the side of her face.  Karin looked
desperate as she attempted to comprehend the meaning of her
boss's message.  Fortunately, she didn't have to think hard.  

    The static refocused back.  "Ouch!  Sorry about that!  Karin,
weren't you supposed to use this bullet?  The one with the red
band?"  He head up a bullet that indeed had a red line scribed
around it.  Karin's mouth dropped open.  Mentally she replayed
the scene when she shot Dr. Tofu.  The bullet didn't have a red
band...

    'Oh my god(dess)!  I put the red band on the bullet so I
wouldn't forget which bullet to take!'  Karin hot sweated as she
looked at her boss.  "Well, that means that you need to shadow
the target, and reaccess the threat.  Until then, don't even
think about returning."  Omniously, the screen faded to black,
but Karin kept staring at the screen.

    Trying to backtrack her mistake, Karin's mind furiously
thought to find a way out of this quagmire.  She thought for a
second, when it occured to her that it would be nice to know what
the DCM she gave to Dr. Tofu would do.  "Computer, can you give
me the serial number and signature of the DCM I just used?"

    The Computer answered without delay.  "It was an unregistered
bullet.  Therefore, no serial number has been assigned.  No
signature exists."  

    Karin felt the world around her trying to crush her into the
ground.  Floundering about as if she were drowning in air, she
said quite nervously.  "There's a crime against using an
unregistered bullet?  And why didn't you tell me the DCM wasn't
registered?"

    The computer unemotionally replied.  "The punishment for
using an unregistered DCM is a minimum of six months of hard
labor to a maximum of death.  And you never asked me."  Karin
slapped her head.  'Just what I need, the world's best super
parallel computer, and it doesn't have the common sense to tell
me when I'm going to make a mistake.'

    "So can you calculate what is the most probable effect the
DCM is going to have on Tofu Ono?"  Karin silently chuckled on
herself.  'There's no way this computer can calculate that...'

    "I've already taken the liberty to calculate that.  The
probability that Tofu Ono becomes the Mega-playboy is now 120%!" 
Karin was amazed on two levels.  One, the computer for once
actually came up with an understandable answered.  And two, she
was responsible for the Mega-playboy.  She collapsed onto her
knees and screamed.
Chapter 2: The New and Improved Dr. Tofu.

    "Oh, do you think he's dead?"

    "Nasty!  Getting iced on a such a good day!"

    A small crowd had gathered around Dr. Tofu's prostrate body. 
Surprisingly, despite being shot at almost point-blank, very
little blood had been splashed.  Dr. Tofu laid there for what
seemed like eternity, in a dreamless state.  Slowly, he
eventually regained consciousness, and his mind, still hazy from
the incident, eventually regained full capacity.  Groaning, Dr.
Tofu wobbily struggled to his feet, and suddenly realized that
there was nothing wrong with him.  

    To the astonishment to everyone else, they thought that Dr.
Tofu had merely come back from the dead, for if he had been
really shot with a real bullet, there was no way he could have
survived.  The crowd immediate gave room, and Dr. Tofu with a
hesitant smile and left the cafe just as an ambulance screeched
to a halt outside and paramedics dashed into the restaurant.

    A few minutes passed by, and Tofu felt a slight headache as
he walked, as well as a strange tingling in his chest.  Finally
realizing that he had been daydreaming about Kasumi, he found
himself outside the Tendo Dojo.  'Hmm, what a coincidence.  Why
not?'  Dr. Tofu took a step to the main gates, and let himself
into the Tendo Dojo.  With a certain confidence, he walked over
to the door, and knocked briskly.

    Kasumi rose from the kitchen table, still depressed about
seeing Dr. Tofu grab another woman, and dutifully, made her way
to the door.  In the background, the sobs of Soun could be heard,
and five pairs of sympathetic eyes followed Kasumi to the door. 
Kasumi not expecting anyone special, openned the door, and almost
jumped when she saw the visitor.

    Dr. Tofu had expected someone like Ranma, Akane, even Nabiki
open the door.  He hadn't expected Kasumi.  Nervous terror and
fear grabbed Dr. Tofu, before he could make a fool of himself,
the tingling in his chest became stronger, and he felt his body
vibrate.  Suddenly, everything appeared different.  He was not
nervous at all, he was calm, and he knew what to do.

    Kasumi grimaced to herself, and prayed to her mother for
forgiveness, and she tried to slam the door in Dr. Tofu's face. 
But, she couldn't, Tofu had suavely jammed his foot in the door,
and he helped himself in.  Kasumi almost felt overpowered by his
presence, and she feared it for she had loved the Tofu that she
had grown up seeing.  Yet, she found herself drawed to him.

    Tofu warmly embraced Kasumi.  "My dearest Kasumi, how just
seeing you brightens my day."  Kasumi almost swooned, for Tofu
had suddenly aquired an eloquence that even 1000 Tatewaki Kuno's
could never hope to achieve.  Her sorrow was quickly replaced by
love, but still in the back of her mind, she found herself
somewhat doubting the new Tofu.  However, love has a tendancy to
blind reason.

    "Dr. Tofu, why don't you come in?"  Tofu flashed a smiled,
and he smoothly walked in and wrapped his right arm around
Kasumi's waist.  Kasumi shivered in his grasp, and for a moment
she was lost in emotions.  But she forged her way through the
confusion, and she led Dr. Tofu to the dining room where the rest
of the family was.  

    As Dr. Tofu entered, heads turned, and people facefaulted. 
Ranma climbing up from the floor, almost cringed in fear, for
Tofu was so close to Kasumi.  He remembered what happened last
time Kasumi showed up, and Dr. Tofu went so insane that the poor
doctor dislocated his neck.  Ranma then turned and was surprised
to find Nabiki drooling at Dr. Tofu, literally.  Akane on the
other hand was not looking at Dr. Tofu at all.  But Ranma could
tell that Akane wanted to stare at Dr. Tofu for a long time.

    Ranma tapped Akane on the shoulder.  "Hey, what are you
doing?  Thinking about Dr. Tofu?"  He started to mimic a girl's
voice rather badly.  "Oh! Tofu!"  Akane, whose mind had been
temporarily drawn to Dr. Tofu, broke completely free of his aura,
and she grabbed Ranma to give him a throttling that he'd never
forget.  'Damn Ranma!  Since when does he have the right to
accuse me of being unfaithful?'  Akane reflected on her own
feelings, and she did admit to herself that she was momentarily
attracted to Dr. Tofu.  But she fervently believed that Tofu was
meant for Kasumi.  As Akane dragged Ranma rather painfully by his
pigtail, she shot a glance at Nabiki, whose eyes were locked onto
Tofu like a heat seeking missile. 

    Nabiki felt a little faint when Tofu had entered, and
consequently she was afraid.  Never before had she experienced
this feeling, except for the time she went on a rollercoaster
with a full stomach.  Her head dizzy, she almost felt this tiny
force drawing herself closer to Tofu.  Nabiki didn't know how
handle situations like this, for typically she tried to be as
emotionless as possible, for emotions did not mix with business. 
Nabiki heard Tofu say such honey-sweet words towards Kasumi, and
she felt a tiny chain forged between her heart and Tofu.

* * *

    Karin, her eyes bloodshot and tremendous black circles under
her eyes, fought valiantly to stay awake.  Last night proved to
be a rather bad night for her, as she couldn't sleep at all
thinking about the deep hole she had dug herself into.  Groaning
to herself, she was partially satisfied as she had seen three
very beautiful women wander into Dr. Tofu's clinic, and not a
single time had he taken advantage of them.  Suddenly, she
noticed a girl, barely older that her, running towards the
clinic.  It was Kasumi.

     Kasumi had enjoyed every moment with Dr. Tofu last night,
but she still had doubts about this sudden change in his
personality.  In reality she was worried about Tofu, for living
with Ranma had exposed Kasumi to many forms of personality
changes.  "Hello Dr. Tofu?  Are you in?  It's Kasumi?"

    Dr. Tofu who had been reading some medical books on the
examination table jumped up, and promptly ran into the wall. 
"Why Kasumi!  Where are you?  I can't seem to find you."  Kasumi
looked strangely at Tofu with his face embedded into the wall,
that she guided him away from the wall.  As soon as her hands
made contact with him, he dashed free from the wall, and tripped
over the examination table.

    Karin stared in amazement as one trip up lead to another mess
to another mess as Dr. Tofu, obviously nervous walked into walls,
and tripped over his furniture.  Suddenly he grabbed at a
skeleton that had been hanging in the corner, and started dancing
with it.  Karin couldn't help but laugh out loud at the inanity
of the situation below.

   Kasumi's eyes openned wide, and she took a step back.  Maybe
last night had seemed like a dream.  Maybe Dr. Tofu had multiple
personalities.  Maybe it was a dream after all.  Crestfallen,
Kasumi left Tofu alone with his "Betty." 

    Karin watched Kasumi leave the clinic, and she frowned for
Kasumi clearly had a heart broken face.  But then again,
preliminary research around town, had revealed that this girl had
always loved Dr. Tofu for some while.  She had been frequently
seen walking down this street with something for the doctor.  So,
Karin breathed a sigh of relief.  So far, it seemed that the DCM
had no effect on Tofu.
 
    Eventually Dr. Tofu managed to find a way out of his
insanity, and he settled down, still surprised to find himself
hugging his skeleton.  Shaking his head in confusion, Dr. Tofu
put back Betty, and he seated himself to study up on genetics. 
No more than an hour passed, and Karin was surprised to find a
girl running down the street.  Zooming in with her binoculars,
Karin was surprised with the emotion of the girl's face.  This
girl was stricken with lovesickness.  Karin's optimism dissolved
into dread.  There seemed that there was no way out.  Dr. Tofu
had become the Mega-playboy
 
    Nabiki breathlessly ran, and dashed into the clinic.  She
recalled every last detail of the Tofu's visit to the Dojo last
night, and he seemed like a different man.  She had always
respected his serious nature, but that new personality to Dr.
Tofu made him seem like Mr. Perfect.  Nabiki almost laughed to
herself that a couple days ago, she would have never thought of
being in love with Dr. Tofu at all.

    Dr. Tofu leaned back, and helped himself to some tea as he
relaxed slightly.  Hearing the door open, he threw the cup of tea
away, and leaped to his feet.  He heard a girl call out rather
softly.  "Hello?  Dr. Tofu are you there?"  

    Dr. Tofu looked up from his book surprised to see Nabiki show
up at the clinic.  Unlike the Akane or Ranma, Nabiki seemed to
have an ability to avoid damage.  "Nabiki!  What's wrong?  Are
you hurt?"  Nabiki almost melted when she heard the concern in
Tofu's voice.

    "No, but do you think we can talk somewhere else?"  Dr. Tofu
nodded.  Experience had taught Tofu a variety of facial
expressions, and right now, Nabiki was serious.  Dr. Tofu also
made a mental note not to make any dumb deals with Nabiki, the
last time she had conned him out of quite a sum of money.

* * *

     Tofu hadn't seen quite an emotional Nabiki before.  She had
been polite to him.  She had even laughed, but from the look on
her face, he knew that she was about to shed tears.  Both Tofu
and Nabiki were seated across from each other, in what
coincidentally happened to be the same cafe that Tofu had been in
the day before.

     Nabiki looked at the table, as if showing her respect by
avoiding Tofu's eyes.  "Dr. Tofu, have you ever felt alone before
without someone who loved you?"  Nabiki knew that she felt this
way.  She had always felt this way, ever since she took up
business with a passion.  And for the first time, she realized
that she didn't like the way it made her feel, being without
love.

    Tofu shook his head.  "I can not say that I do.  I'm
fortunate to have a caring mother and a master who loves me as
his own son."  Tofu suddenly realized the purpose of Nabiki's
question, and he held his breath as she continued, unsure what to
do.

    "I have, and I can say that I don't like it one bit.  Not one
bit.  Tell me, do you love someone?  The answer is very important
to me."  Nabiki looked at Tofu, and he couldn't help but notice
the tears that were streaming down her face.  Subconsciously,
during this conversation, Nabiki had also slowly leaned forward,
closer and closer to Dr. Tofu.  He felt at a lost for words.  He
felt immense sorrow for Nabiki.  He felt a tingling in his chest.

    'What's this feeling?'  Tofu thought to himself almost in a
panic, and suddenly his confusion cleared, and he knew
instinctively what to say.  "There there Nabiki.  I'm sure that
someday you will find a person to love you."  Nabiki's eyes
openned in surprise as she saw a completely different Tofu in
front of her.

    "Like I say, how can a man not resist a face as pure and
beautiful as yours?"  Nabiki felt a blush surface to her face,
for that was the first time that anyone had called her beautiful. 
Her heart did somersaults.  Before, she had felt that she loved
Tofu, now she was madly in love with him.

    "Dr. Tofu, I've been meaning to say this,"  Nabiki paused for
a moment.  "But I love you."  Dr. Tofu's face barely revealed
surprise, as he smiled back.

    "How surprising!  I too have same feelings for you."  Dr.
Tofu gently held her face, and he slowly approached Nabiki.

    "Damn!  Shit!  He's the Megaplayboy, there is no mistake
now!"  Karin desperately watched the scene unfold below. 
"There's no hope," she sobbed.  "The world is going to end."

* * *

    "How dare the insidious Nabiki Tendo break off a deal with
the great Tatewaki Kuno, Blue Thunder of Furinken High!  I shall
have to meet with her and entreaty her to sell me photographs of
the divine pigtailed girl and Akane Tendo.  It isn't like her to
miss an opportunity to provide pleasure to a person as great as
I."  Tatewaki muttered to himself for the millionth time as he
scoped out the popular meeting places that he and Nabiki spent a
great deal of time.  'Methinks that Nabiki must be in the coffee
shop.  I shall arrive and persuade her to provide me with the
photos.'

    Meanwhile, Ranma walked alongside Akane on their way home
from no where in particular.  For some reason that day, when
Akane went out, Ranma almost immediately followed her.  Well, it
provided a means of entertainment for both, for the entire
journey had been filled with almost constant quibs and rude
remarks between the two.

    "Pervert!"  Akane shouted at Ranma, for he had said some mean
things previously.  However, to Akane's surprise, Ranma didn't
even bother to shout back at her.  He was too busy staring at the
window of the nearby cafe.

    "Hey, Akane, isn't that Nabiki?  And she looks like she's
going to kiss that guy!"  Akane pushed Ranma out of the way, and
she looked in on the rather amazing scene that was unfolding
before here.  Her surprise and anger at Ranma proved to be a weak
point, and in seconds, Akane's mind was held by a desire to get
as close as possible to Dr. Tofu.

    Akane left Ranma's side, and she walked into the cafe. 
Within seconds, she had broke through the crowd of girls that had
crowded around Tofu, and she stared at him.  Ranma didn't like
this at all.  He hated every bit, and he strongly desired to make
Dr. Tofu give up his hold on Akane.  But then again, coincidences
in Nerima are common day occurances, and Ranma felt Tatewaki Kuno
land on him.

    "Oh, the fiendish Doctor, seeking to rob young maidens to
satisfy his Loita complex!  Oh how the world his sunk to these
levels.  Fear not!  I Tatewaki Kuno shall wreak vengence upon the
Dr. Tofu!"  A valiant speech on Kuno's part, but not much of a
valiant effort.  Kuno fearlessly charged Tofu, only to find out
at the last moment that crashing head on into a two inch thick
plate glass window was not a fun thing to do.

    Leaving a pretty spiderweb pattern in the window, Kuno fell
backwards without groaning.  Karin Aoi, fearing the situation,
had planned on interfering, but then she realized the possibility
that she too could be affected by the Mega-play powers. 
Fortunately, Ranma was a person quick to temper.  

    "Oh, so Akane thinks she can brush me off like this.  I'll
show her."  With that oath, Ranma walked into the restaurant, and
proceeded to fight his way through the crowd.  After causing a
few screams and squeals, he finally reached Akane, and he gently
tugged on her sleeve.  "Akane, do you want to go home now?"

    Akane pushed Ranma backwards, and shouted.  "Not now Ranma,
can't you see I'm busy?"  Unfortunately Ranma fell backwards into
a girl who in self-defence, accidentally gave Ranma a spray of
iced cappicino.

    Karin strained her eyes as she saw a struggle form in the
crowd, and all of a sudden, the red-haired girl miraculously
appeared, and she grabbed Tofu's collar as if readying to kiss
him.  However, as soon as the Mega-playboy saw the girl, his
Mega-play faded.

    Karin could only gasp.  That girl was screaming her lungs out
at the poor Dr. Tofu, and that could only mean one thing.  That
girl was immune to the Mega-play!  Quickly an idea formulated in
Karin's mind.  'So this girl can resist the Mega-play.  If I were
to get the two of them together, then my mission would be
complete!'

    In joy, Karin leaped up, but she managed to slip on the edge
of the roof, and down she went.  She fainted as she impacted the
pavement.

* * *

    "Oh, where am I?"  Karin looked around, and stared up only to
find Dr. Tofu and the red-haired girl looking at her, with a
little concern.  Karin suddenly sat up, and looked around wildly. 
She was inside Dr. Tofu's clinic.

    "Hey, take it easy."  Dr. Tofu pushed her back onto the bed. 
"We found you lying in the street.  Apparently, you bumped your
head, and that's what caused you to faint.  Plus, you seem to be
exhausted.  Sleep is not a thing that you should skip."  Karin
impatiently batted away his arms, and she sat up.

    "No need to mind me. I already get plenty of sleep."  And to
punctuate her point, she yawned and stretched quite sensually. 
Both Ranma-chan's and Dr. Tofu's mouths dropped wide open, and
Dr. Tofu's glasses started to fog slightly.  

    Karin stared at Dr. Tofu in surprise.  Even she could notice
the instability in Dr. Tofu's DNA.  Right before her eyes, he was
rapidly switching back and forth between Mega-playboy and mild-
mannered Dr. Tofu.  She could recognize this by the fact that
every few seconds or so, she would find herself attracted to Dr.
Tofu.  Amazingly, the red-haired girl did show any signs of being
attracted to Dr. Tofu.

    Karin felt that she needed to act.  Leaping out of bed, she
bowed formally to Dr. Tofu.  "Thank you for you help, I'd better
be going."  Karin ran out of the clinic, dragging Ranma-chan
behind her by the hand.

    "Hey, what do you think you're doing?"  Ranma-chan
indignantly asked.  Karin grumbled to herself.  'Now here's a
girl who probably needs a huge amount of help with her manners.'

    Karin looked around, and found nobody around.  She started to
talk.  "Sorry about dragging you out here, but I need to know. 
What is your name?  What's your status with Dr. Tofu Ono?"

    Ranma-chan looked weirdly at the girl beside him.  Seeing no
danger, he answered.  "I'm Ranma.  And Dr. Tofu is my doctor." 
Ranma shook his head.  'As if that weren't obvious.'

    "So how would you feel if I said that Dr. Tofu was interested
in you, as a girlfriend?"  Karin wasn't prepared for the look of
horror and disgust that surfaced on the rather beautiful girl's
face.  

    "Dr. Tofu?  In love with me?  I'd be disgusted, horrified! 
It's not right for me to be in love with men!"  Karin stopped,
sensing that there might be a slight obstacle to her otherwise
perfect plans.

    "Wait, let me get this straight.  You don't like men.  Do you
like women?"  Karin serious dreaded the answer for this was going
to make her solution rather difficult to obtain.

    "Yes!  Isn't that obvious?  It's only proper that I go after
women rather than men."  Ranma gestured as if the answer was the
most obvious thing in the world.  The only problem was that Ranma
forgot that he currently looked like a girl.

    "So I see.  Thank you for your time."  Karin walked away and
shook her head.  'So the only woman who can resist the Mega-
playboy happens to be a lesbian, and it seems that no other woman
in town are capable of resisting his powers.'  Karin seemed
dejected, as the attempts to joining Ranma and Tofu seemed like
hammering square pegs through octagonal holes.

    "But then again.  I'm the best DNA Operator there is!  I'll
just have to change her DNA slightly, perhaps with a sample from
me, and she'll be hunting boys down in no time!"  Karin started
to laugh, with a slight tone of insanity.
Chapter 3: It's usually better to solve the problem without
creating another.

    Three days have since passed, and Karin Aoi, through her
devotion and lack of sleep, had successfully created a DCM from
simple chemicals in a toy chemistry set.  Staring at the bullet
before her, Karin grimaced as her eyes threatened to slam shut in
protest against sleep deprevation.

    Karin looked at the bullet, and she decided that asking the
computer about the effectiveness of the bullet would be a good
thing.  "Computer, would this DCM effectively make subject Ranma
act like a girl?"

    The computer clunked and flew through it's probability
calculations, and it soon churned out an answer.  "Yes. 
Probability of 110% that subject Ranma will act like a girl who
is interested in members of the opposite gender."  Karin cheered,
her hard labor and moments of nerve-fraying guesswork had finally
paid off.  Now, all that she had to do was to deliver the DCM.

    Then, Karin suddenly realized something.  The time was 2:00
AM in the morning, and she didn't know where Ranma lived. 
Groaning, Karin muttered.  "My sweet home, cute pet, and handsome
husband had better be waiting for me when I get back."  Gritting
her teeth and fighting off her fatigue, she ran out of the time
to look for Ranma.

    "Hey Ranma!  You're getting soft boy!  Dodge this!"  Genma
made a rather convincing feint that left Ranma wide open for an
attack.  Shouting and waving his arms wildly, Ranma succeeded in
backpedaling himself into the pond.  Genma started to laugh at
his easy victory.  "Boy!  As you can see, you are sloppy.  Even
one with minimal martial arts training could have seen that
attack come a mile away."

    Ranma hated it whenever he took a dunk in the Tendo pond. 
Besides having to feel the slimy fish run past him and getting
himself a little muddy, Ranma hated turning into a girl every
morning.  It served as a reminder to his dreaded curse which
basically made his life rather difficult, considering the insane
people at the Kuno family.

    Just then, Kasumi called out.  "Breakfast!"  That was just
the magic word.  In a flash, everyone had vacated the backyard,
and was in the dining room, eating yet another feast, courtesy of
Kasumi.  Ranma was the only one left in the pond.

    "Yeah, well disciplined he says.  And the instant someone
calls food, he's no where to be found."  Ranma climbed out of the
pond, when he heard someone on the other side of the fence call
his name.

    "Hey!  Ranma!"  Ranma was intrigued, so he easily vaulted
over to the other side of the fence, to the amazement of Karin. 
She had never seen quite an athletic girl before.  'She must be a
real tomboy.'

    "Hey, what's up, um"  Ranma paused as he tried to recall the
girl's name. Eventually, he gave up.  "What's your name?"

    "Karin.  By the way, I know why Dr. Tofu has been acting
strangely."  Karin noticed quite happily that Ranma's attention
level had jumped up an entire level.  "Dr. Tofu has a genetic
mutation that causes women to go mad for him.  He's the Mega-
playboy."

    Ranma muttered to himself.  "Dr. Tofu, the Mega-playboy?  Ha
that must be a joke.  He's the nicest and most considerate person
I know.  He would never think to take advantage of women.  If
anyone in Nerima deserved to be called a playboy, it'd have to be
Tatewaki Kuno, or even me."  Ranma grimaced to himself, because
for Akane's sake (and his own personal well-being) he'd wish his
other fiancees would stop bugging him.

    Karin stared at Ranma strangely.  'That girl sure has a
different way of looking at things.'  Karin continued as if she
never heard Ranma's comments.  "Anyways, the Mega-playboy will
eventually sleep with 100 women and successfully create 100
children.  And of the children, all of the boys become Playboys,
and their sons, and their sons' sons."  Ranma's eyes openned wide
as he saw the implication.

    "So you're trying to eliminate Dr. Tofu?"  Karin couldn't
help but notice a slight belligerent tone in Ranma's voice.  And
she decided that it'll be best that she keep Ranma from thinking
about violence.

    "No!  I tried to cure him with a DNA bullet but the treatment
failed.  Now, I believe the only other treatment is to find him a
suitable mate.  One who is immune to his Mega-play, and would
keep his DNA stable."  Karin pulled out her sidearm, and
chambered a bullet.  For some reason Ranma didn't notice.

    "So who is Dr. Tofu's perfect match?  Personally I'd think
Kasumi would be good."  Ranma knew that Kasumi and Dr. Tofu had a
mutual interest in each other, just that both were shy to admit
it.

    Karin shook her head.  "No No.  I believe that Kasumi can be
affected by the Mega-play.  On the other hand, you can't."  Ranma
looked up completely shocked, just enough time to feel a tiny
pellet penetrate his chest.  Ranma managed to maintain
consciousness, and he stumbled towards Karin.

    "How can you?"  Ranma felt his vision melting in front of
him.  "I'm a guy," he slurred before collapsing down onto the
ground in a temporary coma, very much like the one Tofu was in.

* * *

    Karin watched Dr. Tofu cleaning out his clinic with the aid
of something big and white and black.  Trying to determine the
thing sweeping the entryway to the clinic, she refocused her
binoculars, and found that a giant panda was polishing the
windows.  She could only mutter in amazement.  "What the hell?"

    Reaching into her pocket, Karin pulled out an envelope that
happened to be sealed with a red heart sticker.  Karin very well
knew that within, there was a forged letter from Ranma declaring
his love for Dr. Tofu.  Karin shrugged her shoulders.  'If Dr.
Tofu is a normal guy, he wouldn't really stop himself from this. 
Ranma's a pretty cute girl.'

    Waiting for the coast to be clear, Karin leaped down from her
hiding place, and secreted the letter into the mail slot.  She
then leaped back to the roof to see the results of her labor.

    Dr. Tofu heard a little envelope flutter to the ground. 
Looking out at the empty entryway, Dr. Tofu cautiously picked up
the pink envelope which had been sealed with a red heart.  Dr.
Tofu shouted out.  "Hey, Mr. Saotome, is this letter for you?" 
Tofu waved the envelope at the panda, who shook his head.

    "That's funny." muttered Dr. Tofu, "This letter looks like a
love letter."  With a shrug of his shoulder, Tofu had the letter
open in a flash, and rapidly skimmed the contents.  His face
darkened, and he motioned the panda over.  The panda slowly
plodded over, and glanced at the note.  It fainted.

    Dr. Tofu looked out the door, and sure enough there was Ranma
walking around with Akane, both not really in a good mood.  Dr.
Tofu swiftly openned the door, and pulled both Ranma and Akane
into the clinic.  "Ranma, what is the meaning of this?"  Dr. Tofu
asked kindly as he presented the letter to Ranma and Akane.

    Akane looked at the letter, and she kind of gave a gasp. 
"Ranma is this true?  Do you prefer men over women?"

    Ranma almost choked.  "What?  No!"  The panda was dancing
behind Dr. Tofu while crying waving a sign.  "Don't deny the
proof, son!"  

    "What proof?"  Ranma shouted out, but for some reason, a fear
touched Akane's heart, and she ran out of the clinic crying.  A
fear that her fiancee didn't love her at all.  Dr. Tofu looked at
Akane running away in tears, and he desired to help her.  'But I
can't!  I don't know what to say!'  Tofu felt again a tingling
and a change wash over him.  He looked ran out of the clinic,
after Akane.

    Almost simultaneously, Ranma too felt different, but it
wasn't just a tingling and a change.  He felt pain, he felt that
he was burning up.  He felt that he just wanted to immerse
himself in a large body of water, and stay under forever.  He
stumbled unsteadily as he felt pain down into his core.

   Karin watched Ranma stagger about in the clinic, and she
focused on him.  Her mini-computer immediately displayed "DNA
Cascade!"  And to Karin, who actually knew the term, it was a
very dangerous condition.  She leaped down from the roof, and
dashed into the clinic.

    Ranma almost cringed in fear when Karin showed up.  He
screamed, "Don't shoot!" but she didn't quite get the meaning of
his words.  

    She kneeled next to him, and tried to soothe him.  "I'm not
going to hurt you.  I just want to make you feel better."

    Ranma gasped.  "Give me cold water.  A lot of it."  Karin
could agree with that.  For some strange reason, Ranma was
burning up, and cold water would help keep him cool.  Karin
filled a bucket and gave it to Ranma.  And to her surprise, Ranma
dumped the entire contents of the bucket on himself.  Karin
gasped as she realized that the man before her was no longer a
man.

    As soon as the bucket full of water splashed on himself,
Ranma instantly felt his body relax, and his mind promptly
underwent a complete change.  Standing up, and looking around,
Ranma decided that there was nothing fun to do in the clinic and
she left.

* * *

    Karin Aoi, completely shocked by the turn of events, decided
that it was time that she and the ship computer had a little
chat.  A little talk about what the hell was going on.

    "Computer!  You said that the DCM would work completely fine
on Ranma!  Tell me exactly what's happening!"  Karin screamed at
the ship computer.  Somehow, she was getting a feeling that
despite all of technology's advances, computers were still dumb
machines.

    The computer whirred for a moment.  "The DCM did work fine on
Ranma.  You just never specified to what degree and in what
manner would the DCM work.  In this current status, Ranma in his
girl form will undergo certain DNA changes whenever Tofu Ono
undergoes DNA changes.  For Ranma, he will become a girl."

    Karin tried to digest what the computer said.  "Let me get
this straight.  You're telling me that both subjects have
unstable DNA?  Then what is the status on Ranma?"

    The computer answered without delay.  "I've taken the liberty
to calculate that.  Ranma would appear to be appropriately called
the Mega-playgirl."

    Karin shook her head.  The situation just seemed to be
getting worse and worse and worse.  "Mega-playgirl?"

    The computer answered.  "Well, it's a lot better than calling
her the Mega-slut."  Karin gritted her teeth, and she slammed her
foot into the console.  'Damn computers!  They don't do anything
right at all.  I hope nothing bad happens.'

* * *

    Akane walked alongside some of her friend in the mall. 
Unfortunately, Akane hadn't seen Ranma since the morning, and she
was still a little worried for him.  But anyhow, she was in the
mall with her friends in an attempt to calm down, before she
resorted to using violence and ol' Mr. Hammer.

    Suddenly, one of Akane's friends shook her head in disgust. 
"Look there!  What a slut!"  Everyone in the group turned their
heads to find a red-haired girl, wearing an extremely tight and
revealing dress, snuggling up with a boy, while a group of boys
were looking quite jealous.

    One of Akane's other friends gasped.  "Hey!  That slut's
feeling up my boyfriend!"  Akane watched her friend go into a
frenzy as she rushed the crowd of men and one girl.  "Hey you
hussy!  Get off of my boyfriend!"  The girl calmly turned, and
Akane almost collapsed.  There was no mistaking it.

(Err, for lack of confusion, Ranma's alternate is Ranko by
default and standard operating procedure.)

   Ranko let go of the boy, who promptly fell onto the ground. 
"Well, he's yours.  I didn't like him anyways, not enough
endurance for me."  Ranko turned to another drooling guy, and
then grabbed him in for the most passionate kiss Akane had ever
seen Ranma give anyone.

   Akane felt a primal growl climb out of her throat, and she
started bashing the boys who had crowded around Ranko.  In
minutes, Akane had grabbed Ranko by the wrist and was dragging
her out of the mall.  "Ranma!  What the hell is wrong with you? 
We're going home."

   "Akane Tendo!  My... oh my goddess!  Please allow me to be
your one and only suitor.  All women droop in your comparison,
all men weep when you do come forth!"  Akane felt herself roughly
shoved out of the way by Kuno!  Akane felt a burning in her
forehead.  'Kuno of all people, giving up on me?'  Akane turned
just in time so see, Ranko passionately kissing Kuno on the
ground, in the process of taking off Kuno's robe.  

    Now that got Akane really angry.  "Ranma!  Your coming home
now!"  Akane pulled Ranko off Kuno, who was in shock for he had
caught a glimpse of Ranko's ample bosom.  Akane didn't waste time
in beating the stuffing out of Kuno.  "You pervert!  Trying to
take advantage of women!"

    Akane turned back to Ranko.  "Ranma, we're going...  Ranma! 
Where are you?"  Akane quickly whirled around, but Ranma was
nowhere to be seen.  'Pervert!  He must have wandered off to look
for someone else!  Ooh, I'd better find him before something
dreadful happens!'

* * *

    "What!  I didn't do nothing!"  exclaimed Ranma for the
millionth time as he followed Akane back to home.  "I tell you I
just felt really sick this afternoon, and I decided to take a
rest.  I have no idea why I was in the mall this lousy excuse for
a dress!"  Ranma-chan gestured down to the almost transparent
attire he was wearing.

    Akane, on the other hand, didn't trust Ranma one bit.  She
had seen Ranma act rather weirdly in front of other men, as if
she really wanted to get laid.  But then again, that Ranma seemed
to have been a completely different person.  She could understand
the sudden personality change in Ranma, and Dr. Tofu as well. 
Suddenly, it dawned on her that there might be a minor connection
between Dr. Tofu's and Ranma's sudden change.


    "Ranma did you know what you were doing?  You were about to
make out with those men!  First, Kuno and that other brainless
muscled idiot!"  Akane watched Ranma quiver in disgust.  

    "You'd think that I'd ever want to make out with Kuno!  You
must really think I'm an idiot!  I'd never even think about being
with Kuno!"  Ranma gagged slightly at the thought of Kuno.  He
was just one of those anally retentive people who made everyone
else wish he had a sock stuffed in his mouth.

    "Whatever, Ranma.  I spent a lot of effort and time fishing
you out of that mess you got yourself in, and I'd think you'd
better clean up before you father sees you like this."  Akane had
almost vomited when she finally found Ranma, about to engage in
amorous activities with a random guy in an alley.  'Thank god I
found him before he did something stupid.'

    Ranma nodded in agreement.  His feet ached from the high
heels, and his chest felt constricted in the ultra tight shirt
she wore.  And plus, Ranma wasn't really that desperate to give
his father a heart attack, so he thought that changing clothes
would be a great thing to do.  Suddenly, he groaned.  "Darn, I
don't know where my old clothes are!"

    Akane gave Ranma a strange look.  "Never mind, I'll pick up a
clean set from home, and meet me at Dr. Tofu's clinic."

* * *

    Karin sighed in relief as she watched Dr. Tofu busy himself
with yet again sweeping the front of the clinic.  Fortunately, it
had seemed that after Dr. Tofu had transformed into the Mega-
playboy, he ran after Akane, all the way back to the Tendo Dojo,
where he was detained for a while.  Nothing serious really
happened, but after a couple hours, the playboy left with Kasumi,
who luckily seemed to have a special power of the Mega-playboy.

    Karin sighed in relief, as she felt the danger level and the
possibility of a gigantic paradox drop to new lows.  But that was
before she saw the "new" Ranma.  Yawning, she peered over the
edge of the street, just in time to see Ranma-chan, clad in
clothing that would make cheerleaders blush, walk into the
Clinic.  Karin was paralysed by shock.  Perhaps, there was still
some danger in having the Mega-playgirl running around, wildly.

    Dr. Tofu heard the door open, and he looked up expecting a
patient with a cramp or a bad back.  Instead, he received an
eyeful of Ranma-chan's womanly attributes as well as a huge
amount of pure white skin flashed in front of him.  Dr. Tofu
reacted in a very big way.  However, sexual arousal wouldn't be
the proper term to apply to this situation.  The mother of all
facefaults would be a more accurate description.

    "Ranma!  Did Akane hit you again?"  Dr. Tofu remembered the
last time that happened.  Ranma had been acting like a virtual
duplicate of Kasumi.  Akane vigorously shook her head.

    "Here, Ranma your normal clothes."  Akane dumped a bundle of
clothing on the table, for Ranma.  Then naturally Ranma peeled
off his clothing, and proceeded to change, right in front of Dr.
Tofu and Akane.  Instinctively, Akane and Dr. Tofu averted their
attention elsewhere.

    A few stray wanderers, who happened to take a look at the
clinic while passing by, got more than an eyeful.

    Ranma made as if to throw away the trashy clothing that he
had found himself wearing, but some how, he couldn't part with
it.  Without any additional thought, he crammed the clothing in
the the small purse that he had been carrying.  Expectantly, the
clothing lacked so much cloth, that it was hardly difficult to
fit them into a small purse.

    Jamming the purse into his pocket, Ranma grabbed Akane who
had been staring rather impatiently at the wall, and both left
the clinic, making sure not to step on the pile of men outside.

* * *

    "Dr. Tofu here?  Shampoo want see Dr. Tofu!"  Dr. Tofu was
taking a brief nap between appointments, because he had spent the
entire night reflecting on the changes that were surfacing in him
and Ranma.  Shampoo impatiently watched Dr. Tofu napping in his
chair, that she woke him by impatiently tapping the floor with
her giant mace.

    Dr. Tofu, being such a nervous individual, immediately sprung
out of his chair, and looked around, expecting the worse possible
thing to happen.  Instead, he found Shampoo dragging the
unconscious body of Mousse with a bonbori stuck to his head. 
"Ah, Shampoo, what is wrong with Mousse?"

    "Mousse have argument with bonbori.  He lose, and Great-
grandmother back in China."  Shampoo looked down at Mousse with
scorn, but still she had to admire him for his faithfulness as
well as determination.  Deep down, she knew that he would always
make a great second to Ranma, and considering the recent
developments between Ranma and Akane, Shampoo felt that she soon
might have to settle for Mousse.

    It wasn't that Mousse was bad looking.  It wasn't that Mousse
was so pigheaded that her refused to wear his glasses at all.  It
was just that the Amazonian rule that men must prove themselves
to the women in battle.  For some reason, Mousse had always
failed to defeat her, and that was what infuriated her.

    Dr. Tofu smiled knowingly, "It's no problem.  I'll just get
some ice.  It is mostly superficial."  Dr. Tofu walked over the
refrigerator, and openned the freezer to pull out some ice.  As
he turned around, he was surprised to find that Shampoo appeared
to be confused and angry.

    Dr. Tofu plucked the bonbori from Mousse's head, and he
carefully balanced the ice pack on the giant bruise.  He couldn't
help but ask what was wrong.  "Shampoo, you seem to have a lot on
your mind."

    Shampoo shrugged her shoulder.  "Shampoo wonder why Mousse so
stubborn.  He always loose.  He not know Shampoo hate beat him
all the time.  Shampoo tired of stubborn Mousse.  Why Mousse not
understand, Shampoo marry Ranma?"  Dr. Tofu flinched a moment as
he tried to digest the broken Japanese.

    Dr. Tofu smiled weakly.  "Well, we all know that Mousse
really loves you a lot."  Dr. Tofu seated silently, not knowing
what to say.  Dr. Tofu knew that the talk of love was not his
forte.  In fact, one might consider Dr. Tofu naive in the ways of
love as Kasumi was naive in the ways of evil.  Dr. Tofu sat for a
moment, his concern completely focused on Shampoo's confusion.

    "Well, love sometimes make people forget their minds, and let
their hearts roam free."  Dr. Tofu had felt a tingling in his
chest.  Shampoo looked directly at Dr. Tofu, and found herself
looking at a complete stranger.  A handsome, completely
desireable, sexy person was seated next to her.  Suddenly,
hysteria broke loose in Shampoo's mind, and she lost track of
reality.

* * *

    Mousse stirred slightly, and groggily looked around.  There
was nothing around him, except for a giant white blur.  His
glasses slid down, just in time for him to catch a glimpse of Dr.
Tofu and Shampoo leaving the clinic, both rather uncomfortablely
close.  Struggling up, Mousse suddenly felt the extent of the
damage to his body, as he immediately lost his balance and fell
onto the ground.

    Struggling in vain, Mousse felt that the sun had been
destroyed and that he had died only to end up in eternal
damnation.  And as if anything could get worse, it did.  Ranma
staggered into the clinic.  And deliriously he shouted.  "Dr.
Tofu.  Dr. Tofu!  I feel like I'm burning up."

    Mousse finally felt his balance return, and he struggled up,
readying to pound in Ranma's skull in.  Later, he'd have to deal
with Dr. Tofu.  Sadly, Mousse reflected on the fact that the
reason he was in the clinic was Shampoo for the millionth time
had imbedded her bonbori into his skull.  Groveling in anger,
that his constant wooing had failed, Mousse felt ready to take
out his depression of the decrepit Saotome.

    However, as Mousse menacingly approached Ranma, who was
quivering on the floor, and moaning in pain, his anger was
replaced with that of sympathy.  It wasn't that Mousse was a
softee at heart.  It was because just seeing Ranma's face
crumbling in agony was enough to make even the most coldhearted
person collapse into tears.

    "Water.  Give me water."  Ranma remembered feeling like this
the previous day, and that water had taken away the pain. 
Despite the fact that he didn't like turning into his female
counterpart, he felt that he wouldn't mind turning into a little
black pig, just as long as the pain went away.  Mousse nodded,
and he rushed to the sink, and returned with a cup of water.

    Ranma greedily grabbed the cup, and contrary to Mousse's
expectation, he dumped it's contents over his head, and underwent
his change.  Mousse almost lost his breath as he watched Ranma
metamorphosize.  For some reason, Mousse found himself drawn to
Ranko.  "Ranma?"  Mousse inquired.

    Ranko looked around, and she laughed, quite girly.  "No
silly.  It's Ranko!"  She luringly twirled a finger against
Mousse's chest.  Under such influence, and Ranko's genetic
advantages, Mousse found his resistance slowly withering away. 
'No, Mousse!  You must be faithful to Shampoo!'  he tried to
convince himself, but the battle was one sided.

    'Mousse!  Forget about Shampoo!  She doesn't even love you at
all!  She always gives you the cold shoulder!'  Mousse started to
stutter, the mental shrine to Shampoo in his head slowly burned
away.

    Ranko looked down at her obviously too conservative clothing
in distaste.  "Why don't you be a gentleman, and turn around
while I change?"  Ranko rummaged though her pocket, and found her
purse.  Mousse turned around, but he sneaked a peek.

    Ranko took off the silk shirt, and pulled a lacy, wicked red
bra from her tiny purse.  (Women have a certain skill of cramming
huge things into tiny purses.)  Mousse groaned in frustration as
he watched Ranko's smooth back as she wore the bra and her
panties.  He really wanted to see some real flesh.  He wanted to
grab Ranko and get a good look, but Mousse deep down was a very
honorable person, and he would never think of forcing a woman to
do something.

    "Darn it!"  Ranko accidentally dropped her purse, containing
the rest of her clothing.  (On second thought, it wasn't really
much of an accident.)  She bent down to pick up the purse, and
Mousse almost fainted when he saw the tight fabric of her panties
slide and practically reveal Ranko's rather well formed... 
(Never mind, I know my writing is now on rather thin ice.  Sorry,
I'll have to limit this almost lemon trash to a minimum.  If you
hate this, just skip to the next scene. 4 :)  You won't have to
deal with the mess.)

    Ranko mischeviously turned her head to Mousse, and she was
almost satisfied to see Mousse quivering in surprise.  As Ranko
turned, Mousse caught an eyeful of cleavage, and it short
circuited his mind.  Mousse spun around, and fell onto the
ground, fainted.  Ranko watched in amazement, and she quickly
donned her clothes.

    Through the haze in his eyes, Mousse could see Ranko walk up
to him, and plant a juicy kiss on his mouth.  After a long
moment, while Mousse felt his lungs burning for air, Ranko stood
up.  "You seem like a great guy.  Perhaps we can get more
intimate."  With a wicked smile, Ranko wriggled a little, perhaps
to give Mousse a rather limited preview of what she was capable
of doing.  Mousse fainted blissfully.

(Roy:  What the hell!?  (Roy is a fellow fanfic reader who
happens to be a neighbor in my dorm.  He likes to preview my
stories.)

 Michael: Heh heh heh.  (Michael is me.  I've recently have been
deprived of sleep, so I'm a wee bit on the insane side.)

 Roy:  What the f**k is happening?  Why are you writing like
this?  What's wrong with you?  Are you sick?

 Michael: Heh heh heh. 

Moral of this scene: If a fanfic story starts to edge into lemony
content, it's a clear indication that the author is slightly
insane.
)

* * *

    Shampoo wandered besides Dr. Tofu, not to know whether she
was in a dream or whether she was awake.  She looked at Dr. Tofu,
and noticed a magnetism in his personality that she had never
before seen.  Half walking floating beside him, Shampoo walked
the streets in Nerima beside Tofu.  Heck, she would have gladly
walked to the ends of the earth as long as Tofu was beside her.

    Shampoo thought she was falling in love.  "Dr. Tofu, you so
handsome!"  Shampoo buried her purple hair into his shoulder.  

    "And you are one of the most beautiful women I have ever
seen.  You remind me of the purple haze that appears just before
the sun completely sets, beautiful and fleeting."  Well, it
seemed that as the Mega-playboy, Tofu had the gift of sweet
talking to girls.  His words, although their full meaning were
somewhat lost in the mental translation from Japanese into
Chinese, Shampoo managed to grasp the meaning.

    Shampoo sighed as she basked in the warmth of Tofu's sweet
melifluous words.  "Shampoo love Dr. Tofu."  She exclaimed.  "Hug
and kiss Shampoo!"  she demanded.

   
    Now, for some strange reason, Dr. Tofu a.k.a. Mega-playboy
didn't take Shampoo's invitation.  He gave her a quick friendly
peck on her cheek.  "I would love to kiss you passionately, but
are you forgetting something?"  Shampoo looked quizzical.  Tofu
patiently reminded her.  "Mousse?"

    Shampoo's face unlocked as her rationality and intelligence
took this moment to seize control and depose raw instinct. 
"Mousse!  Shampoo leave him in clinic!"  Well, Shampoo also
regained her senses partially because Dr. Tofu had just reverted
back to normal, and just in time too.

    Shampoo dragged Dr. Tofu back to his clinic, and every step
along the way, Shampoo was amazed how she could be so
irresponsible.  'Great-grandmother will be angry if she found out
that I left Mousse in the clinic, and left the restaurant
unattended.'  Shampoo dashed into the the clinic, with Dr. Tofu
right at her heals, and she was surprised with the sight before
her.

* * *

    Mousse laid back on the table as he savored the moment he had
with Ranko, and just at that moment, Shampoo burst through the
door.  Shampoo looked at Mousse, his hair was messy, his robes in
a disarray, and there were traces of lipstick on his face.  In
short, it seemed that he and some other girl had a wee bit too
much fun.

    If Cologne had been there, she would have been overjoyed that
Mousse finally found a distraction to leave Shampoo free to
pursue Ranma.  But then again, this proved to be such a sudden
change to Shampoo.  For her entire life, Mousse had been
passionately seeking her love, and had gone as far as to follow
her to a different country.  And now, out of the blue he was no
long interested in her.  "Mousse what happen?"

    Mousse looked tiredly at Shampoo, his eyes somewhat dilated. 
"I don't know, but all I can say is 'what a woman!'"  Mousse got
up to his feet, and brushed his long hair back, and without
another word, he left the clinic, he left Shampoo and Dr. Tofu
hanging, wondering what the hell was going on.