This is the second part of the first part of Evangelion - For a change.
Confused? Good. Me too.
Actually, I'm starting this off with a three part story. After that, we'll
see.
I'd like to say that I already know what the last scene of the last part
will be. It's the rest of it that I'm quite unsure of.
I wrote this part in the morning. That explains the change in the tone of
the humor. Don't worry, part 3 is being written at night.
Thanks to everyone who sent words of encouragement.
Enjoy!
Tom
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Neon Genesis Evangelion - For a Change. 1.0
Part 2: In which several people get jobs.
Spoiler Info: This occurs in the alternate universe that is defined in
episode 26 of the series. Or at least, it's inspired by
it, sorta. Not really.
Don't archive this version, except in the FFML archives. I'll post
this to the Eva ML and RAAC in an archivable form.
Evangelion is copyright GAINAX/Project EVA. Luckily, they have better
things to do than sue fanfic writers (I hope!).
This is perhaps the first fanfic to include a few lines of working
PERL in the middle. PERL is under the Artistic license.
This fic also uses far too much artistic license. Anyway, on with the
show.
"Time grows short, Ikari. You must make your move, or we will be
forced to move for you."
"Those aren't the rules of our little game. Or perhaps you've
forgotten..."
--------------------------------------------------
"Is this the place?", Shinji asked.
Asuka checked the information that she had written against that on
the door. "Seventy-Ninth sub-basement, room 1138, R. Akagi... Looks
like this is it." She pressed a contact next to the door, and it slid
open.
A low chanting could be heard from the occupant of the room's sole
desk. "I'm gonna get some pilots... I'm gonna get some
pilots... I'm..."
Asuka cleared her throat, causing Ritsuko to notice the presence
of the two teenagers. "We'd like to apply..."
"You're hired." Ritsuko said this quickly, as if not to give them
time to change their mind. "Go down the hall, third door on the
left, and my assistant will brief you."
"Thank you." both teenagers said, bowing to Ritsuko. As the doors
slid closed, the older woman could be heard to start chanting.
"Now I have some pil..."
--------------------------------------------------
"First Slide, please."
The large purple face of Unit One appears behind Misato. She
begins reading from note cards. "This is the Multi-Purpose Humanoid
fighting machine 'Evangelion', which mankind has finally developed."
She paused for a second, then continued. "Any questions?"
Shinji had one. "Teacher Misato, what are you doing working for
NERV?"
"Well, it's hard to make ends meet on a teacher's salary."
In flashback, she holds up a stack of bills from the Yebisu
brewing corporation.
"Since Kensuke's new program gives me no need to grade papers
anymore, I could take an after-school job, same as you. So, here I am."
And here she was, a broad smile across her face.
"We have to ask Kensuke about this one." Shinji whispered to
Asuka.
-------------------------------------------------
22 days previous.
Kensuke's room.
Kensuke sat typing on his computer. The code flowed freely as his
fingers danced over the keyboard. Within seconds the program was
completed, and he could continue on to checking his email.
------------------------------
#!/usr/bin/perl
# Kensuke's AI Grading System.
#
# See file COPYING for the license.
# To use: Enter the names of the students you want to grade, one per line.
# The program will retrieve the work to be graded, analyze it, and
# spit out the name and grade. It's like magic.
# You don't want to read past here.
# Go get some beer.
srand;
while (<>) {
chomp $_;
$score = 80 + rand(20);
$score = 100 if (/kensuke/i); # For calibration purposes.
print sprintf("% 30s %3d\n", $_, $score);
}
-------------------------------------------------
Misato lead the two pilots into the huge room two of the massive
Evangelion. "These are Units One and Two. I'll be assigning you two to
pilot them."
"Shinji, you will be the second children. You'll pilot Unit
one. Asuka, you'll be the third children..."
She was interrupted by Asuka's shout. "What! That jerk comes
before me! No way! I'll be the second children! Take it or leave it."
Misato sighed, and made a few changes to the clipboard in front of
her. "Fine. Asuka, you'll be the second children, and pilot unit
one. Shinji..."
Once again she was interrupted by Asuka. "What! I have to pilot
that purple monstrosity! No way! What a lousy paint job! I want the
red one!"
Misato flung the clipboard into the sea of red liquid surrounding
them. It quickly sank. "Fine! Have it your way. Asuka, you can be the
second children, and pilot Unit Two. The red one. Shinji, you can be
the third children, and pilot Unit One. Is everyone happy?!"
Asuka looked like she was about to speak, but Misato's outburst
stopped her. "Good!"
-------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, on the Astral Plane.
"Four." said Zeruel, the so-called "Angel of Might."
"Go fish." said Gaghiel.
And so their game continued, as it had for so long.
An announcement came over the Astral PA system. "Sachiel, please
report to the staging area. Sachiel, to the staging area."
-------------------------------------------------
Misato had left to get a new clipboard, leaving Shinji and Asuka
alone on the bridge in front of Unit One.
"Asuka, one thing bothers me."
"What's that?"
"Well, you're the second children, and I'm the third."
"So?"
"So, who's the first children?"
The door to the Eva cage chose that moment to slide open,
revealing none other than Ayanami Rei.
"Pervert!" both girls shouted simultaneously.
To Be Continued.
Next Time in Evangelion - For a change:
- Meet Ayanami Rei again for the first time!
- Shinji launches into battle!
- And a particularly gratuitous bit of self-insertion.
Don't miss it!
1.0 7 Oct 1997
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Send your comments to tom-cnc@tr.ml.org