The Eternal Lost Lurker (EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net)

Once more into the breach...

Ranma 1/2 property of...ah, hell, you know this already. Same bullshit
applies for Sailormoon.

Nibun no Senshi Sailormoon

Episode 4: My Enemy, My Ally, My Curse

   The Sailor Senshi blinked at the piglet with the crescent moon on its
forehead. The pig looked up at them.
   Artemis stepped forward, cautiously, peering at the creature. "Charon?
How..."
   Charon once again spoke in his eerily quite, emotionless voice. "My
mistress determined that Shin Sailormoon needed an advisor, and sent me."
   Luna shook her head. "That's not what he meant and you know it. The last
time we saw you, one of the..." at this point, Luna shuddered... "One of
our ancient enemies had just slashed your belly open and spilled your
entrails."
   "And I was with you when the spark left your eyes," Artemis said. "You
were very, very dead."
   "I got better," the pig replied. 
   Everyone facefaulted.
   "Seriously," Charon continued, "My body was destroyed, as you describe,
in our civil war. But my soul was rescued at the last possible moment."
   The Senshi looked at the animals, confused. "Civil war? What's this
about?" Minako asked.
   Luna sighed. "We'll explain it later. We have to, at any rate."
   "So your soul was saved...what about this piglet?" Artemis asked.
   "I can't be much use to Shin Sailormoon as a disembodied soul," Charon
explained. "I had to...borrow a host body."
   Ranma's eyes widened in terror. "Not..."
   Charon cleared his throat, perfectly aware of the host's memories and
desires. "Yes, Tendou Akane's pet piglet. That makes it more convenient,
since I can stay here where you live."
   Ranma frowned. Charon stepped closer, and hissed where only she could
hear, "Ryouga's fine. We'll talk about it later." Ranma visibly relaxed at
this point.
   Ami frowned. "So, Charon is the Silver Millenium reading from earlier?"
   Charon nodded. "Precisely."
   Makoto frowned. "I thought Ami's computer said you merged with some
friend of Ranko's..."
   Charon sweated. "I...ahhh...I sensed dark energy. I was investigating."
This seemed to be accepted by the girls. Charon was about to begin speaking
again when...
   "Ranma-kun, are you out there? ...Ara! We have guests! Welcome!"
   Ranma sweated. Kasumi stepped out onto the veranda to welcome the
visitors. Ranma knew she had to do something quickly..."Kasumi, these girls
have come to inquire about taking classes here at the dojo."
   "Oh! I'll go get Fa--"
   "I can handle it, Kasumi. No need to bother Tendou-san."
   Kasumi frowned. "I don't know, Ranma-kun..."
   Ranma smirked. "Hey, I gotta start sometime. I'm s'posed to take over
the dojo someday, right?" <Please let Kasumi take the hint...>
   Kasumi pondered for a moment, then nodded. "Alright, Ranma-kun. I'll
mention it to Father, and he'll ask you about how it went later, alright?"
   Ranma grinned. "Arigatou, Kasumi!" He turned to the girls. "Girls,
follow me...the dojo's over here..." The four girls, two cats, and piglet
followed her into the dojo.
   Kasumi blinked. Two cats? And Ranma didn't go crazy? And P-chan was
following them..."Something strange is going on around here," she decided.
   
   Somewhere in the bowels of Hell, Satan shouted to his demon servants for
a few more blankets, his teeth chattering as he shrugged deeper into his
three overcoats.

   In the dojo, Ranma slumped against the wall, sighing. The other Senshi
were glancing at her strangely. "Ranko? Who was that girl?" Minako asked.
   "That's Kasumi, Tendou-san's oldest daughter. She takes care of the
house."
   "So, why did she keep calling you Ranma-kun?"
   Ranma shrugged. "That's just Kasumi for you."
   From the house, they heard the distinct shout of "Akane-chan! Could you
come downstairs for a minute?"
   Ranma winced. The other Senshi raised eyebrows.
   "Anyway," Luna said, "We have a very big problem on our hands."
   "Oh, hello Ukyou-chan! Ranma-kun's with some students in the dojo, and
will probably return shortly. Won't you come in and have some tea?"
   Ranma bigsweated. "Please, Luna, continue..."
   "Our enemy," Luna said, casting nervous glances at everyone in the dojo,
"Is an ancient one. They are members of the same race as Artemis, Charon,
and myself, from the same planet..."
   "Kodachi-chan! I'm sorry, Ranma-kun isn't available at the moment..."
   Ranma's pupils narrowed to pinpoints. Everyone cringed at the maniacal
laughter which rang out across the complex.
   "...the cat we saw today is Apollo. He is a Fil."
   "A Fil?"
   Artemis nodded, picking up the tale. "Our homeworld is Mau, and that is
also the name of the race of beings which Luna, Charon, and I come from.
However, the second largest continent of Mau is Fil, where Apollo and his
kind come from."
   "Long ago," Charon said, "Long before the Mau began to serve the Moon
Kingdom, there was a great civil war between the Fil, who are very evil,
very cruel beings, and the Mau. The Mau eventually won, forcing the entire
Fil civilization off-planet in a cryostatic transport vessel."
   "Hello Shampoo-chan! Ranma-kun is out in the dojo..."
   Ranma's left eye began to twitch.
   Suddenly, one wall of the dojo caved in. "NIHAO!" rang a cute voice with
a heavy Chinese accent. A girl with a lot of purple hair promptly attached
herself to Ranma, who began to spasm violently. "Ranma! You happy see
Shampoo! Take Shampoo date now!" She looked up, and frowned. "Ranma, who
they?"
   "Uhhh..."
   "They not more fiancee? Ranma belong Shampoo, ugly Japanese girls! You
no can have!"
   The Senshi were blinking in confusion, and some were more than a bit
upset at what Shampoo had just called them. Artemis was looking around
confusedly, while Luna sighed, a large bead of sweat rolling down the back
of her head. 
   Now, one thing about stress, is that it has a habit of altering behavior
patterns. With the stress of having to pretend to be a girl, and being a
Sailor Senshi, combined with everyday stress, and now the matter of what
could end up as an ugly conflict between the other Senshi and Shampoo,
probably dragging the rest of Nerima into the mix in the process...
   Ranma snapped. She grabbed Shampoo's shoulders and forced her away.
"Ranma...?" Shampoo asked. 
  "Get..." Ranma shoved Shampoo toward the hole she'd made in the wall.
"Off..." She heaved the Amazon off the ground by the arms. "Of..." She
brought her foot back. "ME!" she finished, punting the Chinese girl across
the yard, scoring a direct hit. With a splash, Shampoo fell into the pond,
emerging as a rather annoyed cat. "Nyao," Shampoo-neko told Ranma, and
charged her.
   Seeing a cat without a crescent moon, Ranma began to freak out. Luna
sweated, and rushed to intercept the purple-white cat. With a soft thud,
the two cats collided, and Luna knocked the Amazon cat across the yard.
Landing on her feet, Luna prepared to strike again.
   The Senshi were all staring at the spectacle with wide eyes. "What the
HELL was that all about?" Makoto wondered.
   Kasumi's voice was cheerful as she entered through the side door of the
dojo and said, "Ranma-kun! I brought a kettle of hot water for when you get
through, alright?"
   The wrestling cats made their way back to the dojo entrance, and managed
to roll right into Ranma. The sight of Shampoo-neko caused Ranma to freak
out, and she stumbled backwards, tripping over a slightly warped floorboard
and sprawling onto her butt...
   ...right into the kettle of hot water, which tipped over on her head.
   "Oh SHIT," she, now he, groaned. The Senshi and Artemis collapsed. 

   The four Sailor Senshi stared in shock at the black-haired boy sprawled
on the dojo floor, dripping with hot water, with a small, quickly fading
bruise where the kettle had struck him. The lavender cat was pawing at him
and mewling curiously.
   Ami reached into her subspace pocket and withdrew her computer.
Adjusting its scan mode, she silently scanned the young man, and blinked.
"This...this can't be right..."
   "Wh...what the hell is going on here?" Makoto asked.
   Ami frowned as she completed a second scan. "This is...or was...Ranko.
The DNA scan reads the same, minus one X chromosome replaced with a Y
chromosome. Energy output level is identical, the Ginzuishou is still
harmonizing with him. Only the gender changed..."
   Luna sighed. "Girls, it's time you knew the truth about our new member."
   "With the emphasis on 'member'," Makoto commented, earning a snicker
from Minako, a scowl from Rei, a blush from Ami, and sweatdrops from the
three Mau present. Kasumi had long since vanished.
   However, Shampoo was still hanging around. Luna noticed her. "You
there...Shampoo..."
   Shampoo turned, and hissed at the black cat.
   "I'm sorry, but your presence here is unacceptable. You'll have to
leave."
   Shampoo meowed the cat equivalent of "go to hell" and lunged for Luna.
Scowling, Luna closed her eyes. The crescent moon on her forehead flared
brightly, becoming visible to the other cat for the first time. Shampoo
skidded to a halt and blinked. "Meow?"
   A beam of light shot from Luna's crescent. Unlike other such beams she'd
used in the past, this one was a weapon, which Shampoo quickly discovered
as she was blasted out of the dojo and halfway across the compound. Pausing
only to unleash one final invective in cat language, she leapt over the
surrounding wall.
   Luna sank down to the floor, panting. "Whew...I haven't done that in a
very long time," she commented.
   "What *was* that, Luna?" Minako asked.
   "It's our weapon," Artemis answered as the other cat caught her breath.
"None of us have had to do that for a very long time, not since the Fil
were wiped out. Luna was one of our strongest and best sharpshooters."
   Everyone still looked confused. Charon explained. "It's a mental energy
beam. As you've observed, all Mau, as well as the Fil, possess great mental
and magical power. It's one of the reasons we were so useful to the Moon
Kingdom, aside from our long lifespans and our great skill with
knowledge...the Mau, unlike the Fil, are philosphers and keepers of lore
above all else.
   "However, when the civil war broke out, we were forced to develop the
more destructive aspects of our power. Luna, Artemis, and myself were all
generals of our nation's army. Luna here had the strongest mental energy
attack of everyone in our army. She also had the best aim."
   "Nice...to see...I've still got it, too..." Luna panted out. Finally,
she dragged herself to her paws, and turned to face the Sailor Senshi. "As
I was saying, you deserve an explanation about Shin Sailormoon."
   Artemis glared at Luna. "You knew something, and haven't told me?"
   Luna ignored him. "As you may have figured out, his real name is not
Ranko. It's Ranma. And, yes, Ranma *is* male."
   "We can look at him and tell that," Rei snapped.
   "But he *was* a girl before," Ami said. "My computer confirmed that."
   Luna nodded. "Ranma here has been training in martial arts all his life.
I saw into his mind when I was dealing with his fear of cats, and know
everything about him. He's had a rather unusual life."
   "NNnnnnn....you can say that again," Ranma said, sitting up and rubbing
his head. He looked around at the scowling Senshi sheepishly.
"Uhhh...heh...sorry about this."
   "How could you have been a girl, and now a boy? What are you?" Makoto
asked.
   Ranma sighed. "Like Luna just said, I'm Saotome Ranma, of the Saotome
school of Anything Goes Martial Arts. I've been in training since I was
very young.
   "My pop dragged me away from home at age six. I've been through a lot of
very rough training. The thing with the cats is because of a stupid stunt
Pop pulled right after we left home. He dug up some training manual for a
"Cat Fist" technique..."
   "Nevermind that!" Rei snapped. "Tell us about the reason you were a
girl!"
   "Okay okay, sheesh. 'Bout a year ago, Pop and me were in China. He
dragged me to some training grounds that were out of the way and supposed
to be great places, according to brochures he kept pickin' up. He found
this one brochure for a place called 'Jyusenkyou'. 
   "Course, Pop don't read Chinese, or he'd a'known to stay away from that
place. It ain't used because it's a valley full of cursed springs. See, for
a couple thousand years, all kinda stuff's been drownin' in those pools,
and anything that falls in a pool where somethin' drowned takes the form of
whatever it was."
   "No way," Makoto said.
   Ranma nodded. "We kinda didn't listen to the Guide when he tried to warn
us about it. Well, I knocked Pop into a spring and he came out as a giant
panda. Then, when I was tryin' to figure out what the hell happened, he
knocked me into another spring. Nyanniichuan."
   Ami blinked. "Spring where a girl drowned."
   Ranma nodded. "Right. Now when I get splashed with cold water, I turn
into a girl. Hot water changes me back, as you saw."
   Rei frowned. "And you don't know how to cure it."
   Ranma sighed. "Every cure we've tried didn't work. I think I'm stuck
with it." He looked up. "I didn't tell you straight out because I didn't
think you guys would trust me if you knew the truth." Pulling the medallion
from his shirt, he said, "But it don't change the fact that Princess
Serenity asked me to fill in for her...and she knows about the curse. So,
until she's back on her feet, I'm still Sailor Moon."
   Luna nodded. "He's right, girls. Besides which, we need him."
   Ami agreed. "Without Ranma, most of the city would have been destroyed
by now. And the rest of us would be in the same shape as Usagi, if not
worse."
   The others considered this, and nodded. "Okay, no problems with that,"
Makoto said.
   Rei looked uneasy, but nodded. "Yeah, I suppose it's okay. It's going to
take some getting used to though."
   Minako nodded. "It's cool with me." Smiling at Ranma, she said,
"Besides, he's pretty cute."
   Makoto grinned. "Yeah, he reminds me of..."
   The other three, as well as Luna and Artemis, shouted, "DON'T SAY IT!"
Makoto flushed.
   Ranma sweated nervously. "Ah...girls? Please...trust me, it'd be best
for everyone concerned if you stop those kinds of thoughts right there."
   Luna nodded. "He's right."
   Minako sighed. "I know, I know...it's not a good idea to have a
relationship with a teammate and all that, right?"
   Ranma shook his head. "That ain't it. It's what would happen if any of
my 'fiancees' got suspicious."
   "FIANCEES!?" Rei, Minako, and Makoto shouted.
   "Anou, Ranma-kun...that's illegal in Japan," Ami said.
   Ranma sighed. "Tell *them* that."
   Luna stepped in. "Ranma's attracted a number of suitors, through various
means. However, none of them are his own fault."
   "How can he get engaged and it not be his fault?" Rei fumed.
   "Twice by my Pop...well, more than that, really, but we chased off all
but two of them," Ranma said, "then there's Shampoo...the girl you saw turn
into a cat. She's a Chinese Amazon. Her village has a crazy law that if an
outsider male beats an Amazon in combat, she has to marry him. I
accidentally beat Shampoo, and she decided I'm her husband now.
   "Then there's Kodachi, who I'm not engaged to, but who is obsessed with
me..." Ranma paused, and frowned. "Let's...let's just not get into it."
   The Senshi shrugged. Luna continued to discuss the Fil with them for a
little while, then the four visiting Senshi returned to Juuban, while Ranma
and Charon talked quietly in the dojo for a while.

   Apollo furiously paced the council chamber. "Dammit!" he snarled.
"Blasted Sailor Senshi! Cursed Mau! Why does this have to be so difficult?"
   "Patience, Apollo," spoke a calm, quiet voice from the shadowed end of
the chamber. "I felt the power these Senshi now weild. It will be difficult
to eliminate them."
   Apollo muttered, "You don't know the worst of it."
   "Oh? And what is that?"
   "Their leader...she's...she's one of *them*."
   "Them? I don't know what you're referring to."
   Apollo stopped his pacing. "There are two races of beings which the Fil
cannot stand. One is the Mau, those who drove us from our homeworld. The
other, we encountered when we emerged from cryostasis sixteen centuries
ago. When they discovered us, they managed to destroy over half of us
before we could escape." He sighed. "If the new Sailormoon is one of them,
this could be more trouble than we bargained for."
   "And who exactly are these beings?"
   "I'll have my aide prepare the data on them for you, Lord Adonais." With
a respectful bow, Apollo left the chamber.
   Sitting in the shadows, Adonais considered this new information. He was
not one of the Fil, and had only recently discovered their existence as a
small group of them attempted to return to their homeworld. He had a score
to settle with the Mau as well...especially two particular Mau who he had
learned were still alive, and on Earth. 
   He also had a score to settle with the Sailor Senshi. A very, very big
score.
   The chamber's lights played dimly across Adonais's face as he stroked
the slight growth of golden beard on his chin. His jade-hued eyes gleamed
in the soft lighting. "Most, most interesting indeed," he said, and leaned
back into the shadows, chuckling evilly.