Midnight. 

	I wake up wondering why I punish myself like this. 

	School has exacted a terrible toll on my mind and body. I cannot feel the
mood or anything else for that matter descend upon me. What can I do? It
has become almost like a ritual waking up at this ungodly hour for over the
year writing my pet projects. Of course, they may only be two fics I'm
working on right now, but I know with fear that some more are blooming lke
crazy in the depths of my mind. Too many for me to control but with luck I
may just not write it in the near future. 

	A part of me reminded me of my past obligations. I stare at the pieces of
paper that lay strewn across half my filing cabinet. It was the one thing I
held most dear. The one thing that embodied everything that I am. Part of
my soul rested in it. 

	I said to myself. Soon. Very soon I would begin anew upon it. 

	I hate doing this to myself. But only during this time do I get the peace
that has always eluded me. Peace and quiet. A rarity in any household save
during the deadest of the night. My computer beeps as it alerts me to its
final activation phase. 

	I sigh. The words seem unable to come to mind. 

	I cannot even begin to think what I must do. 

	The block has reamined strong. Months had passed yet I cannot break it. 

	Is there any hope??? 

	I stare at my computer so. As if it could help me divine some means of
escaping this fate I fell into. I feel myself growing tired. I try to fight
it but in vain. I close my eyes and dreamt til dawn. 

	3:00 AM. 

	That's what the clock said. 

	I wake up and find myself sitting in an uncomfortable position. No wonder
I feel like hell. I once more open my word processor and begin to type what
may hopefully come to mind. What happened next came as a surprise. I did
nothing to stop it. 

	A crazy smile crept on my face. 

	The feeling of accomplishment drew close as the morning sun slowly rose. I
felt my sould, my very essence guiding me in my writing. people have always
told me that writing was not something you could live on or entrust with
your future. But why should I care as I saw the miracle I wrought before
me. No reward was better than the one I found myself facing.  

	It was enough. 

	
Nikholas "Radler" F. Toledo 
mail me here!! <radler@tri-isys.com> 
===========================

Member of the Zu, known to them as Tripper Joe, and all around anime fan
My Homepage in the Zu at http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3145/radler.html

===========================

Radler: What the hell am I doing in this crazy place!! 
	<rattles the adamantium bars that hold him> 
	Argh!!!! 


A fool who knows he is a fool cannot be called a fool anymore. 
He should be called a genius...