Ranma 1/2 - All mixed up
Chapter 5 (part 1/2)
-By Harper-

Disclaimer: The extremely funny and unique characters belong and are
copyrighted to the talanted and humourous Rumiko Takahashi, Viz
Communications, Shogakukan Inc. and other such clever companies who know
something good when they see it (ie, Ranma 1/2).

Just 'e' me if you've missed any parts at....  stroma@globalnet.co.uk 
OR if there's no reply, try...  eve147@hotmail.com   

With thanks to SlayerNext, Emily Siazon, Soren Smith, Krista Perry, Andrew M.
Petalik, Theodore Sommer, Lashawn M. Taylor (along with "R&R" ^_^ ) and
anyone else whom my -- often as bad as Ryoga's directional sense -- memory
can't remember, thankyou! 

(XXX) = actions/description       
<XXX> = Chinese (mandarin, I think, whatever the Chinese Amazons speak)
~XXX~ = sound effects       
[XXX] = signs (mostly Genma-panda but not always)

                                                   
Chapter 5: Deny (almost) everything...(1/2)

A Guy: that's right Ranma, it's me.
Ranma: but.. naah... it can't be!
A Guy: just deal with it Saotome, this conversation is getting old fast.
Ranma: ...Tsubasa?
Akane: oh, hi-de-hi Tsubasa! You want to come to our wedding in a couple of
hours? You can be best man!
Tsubasa: (ignores her) (to Ranma) now let's talk business.
Ranma: what business?
Tsubasa:  since I ditched the dress and got a life...? Oh, just some
blackmail, a little extortion and some spying. The usual. Now, you owe me
some money.  
Ranma: I don't think so.
Tsubasa: (slightly annoyed) oh, and why not, Saotome?
Ranma: 'cos I can't take guys like you seriously.
Tsubasa: guys... like... me...?
Ranma: yeah, the ones with pink Sailor Moon ribbons in their hair.
Tsubasa: (cheeks go redder than ruby) oh.. ahem! 'Scuse me a sec. (takes
ribbon out of hair quickly and pushes the curls back) (regains compusure)
(starts teasing)  ..and how did a big macho martial artist like you know what
a Sailor Moon ribbon look like, hmm?
Ranma: (grabs ribbon and stretches it out for full view) because it said "I'm
A Sailor Moonie! ^_^" on it.
Tsubasa: (lukewarm cool expression) stop changing the subject, you owe me big
time for these. (spreads photos across the table infront of Ranma and Akane)
Ranma: (looks through them at mega-quick speed) wha...? Wha..? Wha..?!
Tsubasa: so.. what do you say now? I have backups stored in a safe place,
remember.
Ranma: you're not gonna sell these!
Tsubasa: so you're finally taking me serious now. And in answer to your
question... as many as possible. (smirks)
Ranma: but if anyone sees 'em, they'll think I'm a --
Tsubasa: and you expect me to care?
Ranma: (whispers to Tsubasa) but if Akane ever gets cured.... and she sees
these... she'll --
Akane: I won't care, my Ranma-chan, because I love you for who you are, not
for other's misguided judgements! I've always loved you!!  
Ranma: (sadly) (in a low voice) not always, not before this thing happened...
Akane: yes, I did! I know I did!
Ranma: (to himself) I wish I could buy that...
Tsubasa: excuse me people, I have business to attend to and have no time for
a lover's squabble. I'll get payment from you (Ranma) later. (starts to walk
away) (stops just before the exit)  By the way Ranma...
Ranma: what? 
Tsubasa: this is going to put you into even more debt but... if you want
answers for this purple rain, I'd say go to Cologne. She knows more than
she's telling. 
Ranma: how do you know?
Tsubasa: if I told you, I'd have to kill you... Don't even think of laughing
Ranma, let's just say I still have a way with heavy blunt objects and
smashing them into people, and I've gotten better. (evil smile which lowers
room temperature by a couple of degrees) (leaves house)
Ranma: he doesn't scare me, not one bit... but I sure am cold! (walks in the
same direction as Tsubasa)
Akane: um.. my lovely, where are you going? 
Ranma: uh, I'm going to see if the dried-up old mummy has any answers for me.
You'll stay here, won't you? It's not safe outside.
Akane: (dreamy look) (sighs delicately) Of course, I will. I knew you cared
for me....! I hope Tatewaki Kuno comes by soon, we need to plan our wedding.
You will make a handsome groom, my Ranma! I'll stay here and make you
something for afternoon tea.
Ranma: I'll be back as soon as I can. (thinks) Let's hope this curse has some
good side-effects or I'm going to spend the night getting my stomach pumped.
Akane: I truly hope so...
Ranma: see ya'! (runs outside)

(Cut to the high street, still as busy as before. People are still trying to
ransack stores but they have changed from policemen and the elderly to the
Girl Guides and the Samaritans. Windows are smashed and broken and shops are
becoming like open-air markets free-for-all. No traffic can get down the busy
streets. Through the rush comes running Ranma, recognisable not because of
his pigtail or chinese-style clothing but because he is going faster than a
F1 car. Hardly anyone can spot him on his way to the Cat Cafe.)

Voice: (to Ranma) My sweetie!! Over here!

(I did say _hardly_ anyone...) 

Ranma: (stops immediately) huh? Mom?
Nodoka: (comes running out of one of the less-burgled shops, clutching the
hand of a young boy) how are you doing, son? We managed to avoid the rain, I
hope you didn't catch a cold running about like that.
Ranma: we?
Nodoka: oh yes, I'd like to introduce you to your future brother!
Ranma: my... future brother. Who?
Nodoka: yes, I've decided to adopt this adorable little sweetheart. (steps
out of the way to reveal a shy but starry-eyed boy of Ranma's age behind
her.)
Boy: (in a pastel coloured suit with a flowery tie. He seems to wearing
make-up and his hair is greased back) h-hi! I -I'm a big fan of yours, Ranma
sensei. Y-you couldn't sign my autograph book for me, could you? It would be
a real honour!!
Nodoka: sweetie darling, this delightful boys name is...
Ranma: ...Pantyhose Tarou??!!
Nodoka: what a bright little sonny-boy I have, yes! I'm sure you and Panty
will be great friends!
Pantyhose Tarou: I do have a nice name don't I, sensei? It is such an honour
to hear you address me! (bows) One day I hope the Great Master Happosai will
do the same. (sighs wistfully)
Ranma: look mom, I --
Nodoka: mummy, please! Remember?
Ranma: uh... "mummy", I have to go now.
Nodoka: but you haven't picked your dress, yet!
Ranma: (hedges) I have to go... for a manicure. 
Nodoka: oh, that's okay then! You better go if you don't want to be late,
cutie!
Ranma: later, mom!
Nodoka: mummy!
Ranma: uh... whatever. (continues at racing car speed) (fades away into the
distance)

(Five minutes later.... Outside the Cat Cafe shop... which seems eerily quiet
but infact is not because weird smells of Amazon potions are seeping through
the streets.... Ranma comes to another sudden halt just inches from the door.
He listens for a few seconds, hears Cologne's voice and decides to go in....
He wanders quietly through to the kitchen. Cologne is balancing on her cane
and stirring ingredients in her cauldron... ahem, I mean boiling pot. She has
her back to Ranma and seems quite involved with what she's doing. Ranma tries
to take a peak at what the elderly Amazon is up to.)

Cologne: (whirs round) why hello again, son-in-law. Please don't make such a
noise next time.
Ranma: but how --?
Cologne: what can I do for you, groom?
Ranma: don't call me that!
Cologne: OK, son-in-law.
Ranma: ....
Cologne: I have to get back to my search for the cure. Now what is it you're
after? 
Ranma: I heard that you know more than you're saying...
Cologne: why would I? I don't want my Shampoo stuck like the way she is!
Ranma: I guess...
Cologne: (whips a cup out of nowhere) you must be thirsty, here have some
tea. It's native to the Amazon region.
Ranma: thanks! (puts it to his lips)
Voice: NO!!! (speeds out of the shadows and goes for the cup that Ranma is
drinking. Cologne sticks out her cane and trips him up. He bashes into an
unsuspecting Ranma, who accidently swallows the whole lot and stands looking
dazed -- all of this in 1.1 seconds) (comes to halt) (it is the old man who
helped Ranma earlier) No! I'm too late!!! And Ranma's too gullible!! Aaargh,
what a combination!
Cologne: <I thought it was you interfering... such a pity that you failed.>
Man in black (and silver): (determined) <I can't let you win again,
Cologne....>

End of first half of chapter 5...

Yes! Another cliffhanger! And it's not even at the end of the chapter!!!
Nya-hahahaaa!!
Sorry this took so long to get out, starting a new university course takes
some adjusting to.
In the 2nd half of the chapter, we'll see what Cologne gave Ranma to drink
and who the punctually-challenged man was. C&C taken with much appreciation,
especially on description, since it seems that that is my weak point. But any
kind taken with kindness.