[Scene opens on a movie theatre.  Sitting in two chairs is Christopher
Angel, God of Moments, and Crimson, A Shieldsman.]

Voice: It's time for....C&C.

[The two reviewers wince.]

C&C: GET OFF THAT PUN ALREADY!!!

[Two small anvils appear out of hyperspace and land on the men.]

Voice: NEVER!!  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahaa....*hack* *cough* *wheeze*
Damn cold.

Crimson: Since when are we doing pure Ranma fics?
Chris: Our mighty creator thinks she deserves it.

	``Great granddaughter, this is not a very good idea.''

Chris: And the sky is blue.  When was the last time those two had a good
idea?

	``I have heard what you say.  However, I won't accept my failure yet.
I have to try this at least once.''  Shanpoo stares back at her
Great-grandmother, knowing the argument about this course of action like

the

back of her hand.  The potion worked almost everytime, provided those

involved

were not so incompatible that even the overwhelming power of the spell

could

not bridge the gap.  It was used in the village when a marriage was

falling

apart and nothing else could save it.  Half the time the marriage

desolved with

a minimum of pain, and the other half it rose from its stagger and

danced.

<*crack* *boom* *ominous thunder*>

	``Remember that I warned you.  If this fails you will give up on Ranma
and we will return to China.''

Crimson: [blinks]  COLOGNE said that?

	``Hai, Obaba.''  Shanpoo bows, then turns back to her food, tasting it
one last time before adding the last ingredient, checking the label four

times

to make sure.

****

	``Akane, I'm sorry, but I can't let you poison me anymore.  There are
three things one needs to do while cooking.  First, one must know what

one is

doing, which means you need to follow a recipe with no substitutions

until one

has some experience.  Second, one must know what one is putting in.  Does
Kasumi add vinegar when she means oil or oil when she means water?'' 

Akane

shakes her head, ``Last, one must taste what one is cooking as one adds
ingredients, or the food won't be as good as it could be.  When one is

winging

it, tasting the food is the only way to tell if it is going properly. 

You've

watched Kasumi cook, right?''  Akane nods, ``Does she call you or Soun or
Nabiki in to taste the food as she cooks it?'' Akane shakes her head,

``Of

course not.  She knows what she wants it to taste like, so she tastes it

as she

goes along.''  Shanpoo's sudden arrival throws him off track, but Ranma

turns

it to his advantage, ``Shanpoo, when you cook do you taste the food as

you go

along to check how it is doing?''

Chris: Right about now I'm irritated.  Do a mass replace on Shanpoo to
Shampoo.
Crimson: That aside, shouldn't Akne have malleted him for that remark?
Chris: Akane's being reasonable, Cologne's advocating giving up...hey look,
isn't that P-chan with wings?

	``Of course.  If not taste, how know did right.''

	``Could you demonstrate for Akane?  I'm trying to teach her to cook at
least as well as me, but hopefully better.''  Akane looks a bit happier

with

the last clause.

	``Hai!''  Shanpoo says brightly, glad to have her iinazuke ask for
something.  She pulls the bowl of ramen out of the delivery box, sets it

on the

table, pulls a pair of chopsticks out and takes a bite.

	``See?  You try it, Akane, and see that it tastes good.''  Akane goes
along with this, and quickly takes a bite, neither of them noticing

Shanpoo's

suddenly worried expression.

	A long moment passes with both Akane and Shanpoo being utterly silent.
``That wasn't very smart my love.''

Crimson: ....
Chris: ....
Crimson: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Chris: [smacks forehead with palm] Oh no. 

	``No, I can't say as it was.''

	``What are you too talking about?'' Ranma is mildly bewildered by
Shanpoo's sudden loss of her accent, and Akane's comment doesn't help. 

Akane

reaches across the table and takes Shanpoo's hand, squeezing it lightly. 

Ranma

hits quite bewildered.

	``Shanpoo brought by a love potion.  The only one that actually works
that anyone has even heard of.  Everyone who ingests it within a certain

radius

and within about five seconds is affected, and it compresses about six

months

worth of relationship into a few seconds, defusing all the situations it

can,

transfering knowledge between them, and the end result is a very strong

bond.''

Akane replies, still stroking Shanpoo's hand.

Chris: Sounds like a Skuld, Inc. device.
Crimson: Her stuff can't be that bad.
Chris: [says nothing, merely looks at Crimson.]
Crimson: [pales] eep.

	``We both still like you, Ranma, but the potion only works once every
twenty years or so on an individual, and you wouldn't like the left-out

feeling

you'd get if you came with us.  We don't want to hurt you like that.'' 

Shanpoo

continues, still accentless.

	```Come with you'? Where are you going?''

	``I'm going with my wife to China.''  Akane smiles happily, zoning out
into Shanpoo's face.

[Crimson and Chris facefault]

Chris: Hooooboy. 

	``What?  Aren't you the least upset about this?''  Ranma demands,
thinking about her ready way with a mallet.

	``I got over that a long time ago.  There was nothing else to do about
it.  Shanpoo made a mistake, but that's OK, I love her anyway.''

	``We think Ukyou might be able to help you cope with this, perhaps you
should call her.  The potion will still be potent for another couple

hours.

You should tell her what it is first, however.''  Shanpoo says, drawing

Akane

to her feet and starting up the stairs.

	*Nan tte koto!* Ranma suddenly hears the chopsticks he had in his hand
snap, looks down to see a slow trickle of blood begin.  *maybe I should

call

Utchan* Ranma starts to his feet, holding his palm to stop the bleeding.

Chris: Umm...there's something wrong here.
Crimson: You JUST noticed?
Chris: Don't be a twerp.  I mean, Ranma's taking this awfully well, don't
you think?
Crimson: [shrugs]  Hey, after living his life, I'm suprised anything fazes
him.

	``Moshi moshi?  Utchan?  I need to talk to you right now.  Could you
come over?  Please?  It's kinda urgent.  Thank you so much.''  He sets

the

telephone reciever down, drifts to the bottom of the stairs and listens

to the

happy laughter from upstairs.  *she's happy.  I have to be happy for her*

After

a bit the laughter dies down and he hears Akane's door open and their
footsteps.  He walks quickly into the dinning room and sits down next to

the

bowl of congealing ramen.  ``Will you write me?''  He asks as they walk

by,

each with a pair of suitcases.

	``Yes, we will.''

	``Thank you.  I don't think I could stand to lose you as friends
as well.''

	``Don't worry about that.  You will always have a special place in our
hearts.''  Akane smiles at him as Shanpoo speaks, nods emphaticly.

	``Hello?  It's me.''  Ukyou's voice comes from the front, and Ranma
follows Shanpoo and Akane toward the door.

	``Ukyou-san, please take care of him.'' Akane asks her after she opens
the door, waves her in.

	``What happened?''  Ukyou sounds totally confused, and the look on her
face as Shanpoo holds the door for Akane matches the feeling.

	``Shanpoo brought by a love potion to catch me with, but I was trying
to get the basics of cooking through Akane's skull so she caught Akane
instead.''

	``How does it work?''

	``From what I heard it provides six months of virtual time to be alone
together in and some prodding of some sort to make things develop into

love.

Shanpoo said that the potion will work for another couple hours, so are

you

willing to do this?''

	``Of course!  How long does it take realtime?'' *Finally he will be
mine!*

	``A few seconds.''  Ukyou blinks, then makes a `lead on' gesture.

Crimson: I'm taking bets on whether this goes well...
Chris: No takers here.
 

	``We eat at the same time and it will kick in almost instantly.''
Ranma picks up a pair of chopsticks, looks at Ukyou.  Unknown to either

of them

Kasumi had walked into the room, and looking at the bowl of congealing

ramen,

decided it would be a shame to let it go to waste.  She'd served herself

some

and wandered back to the kitchen.  Ranma and Ukyou pick out a pinch of

noodles

each and, in a move that makes them both smile, offer it to the other. 

The

screen splits as Ukyou, Ranma, and Kasumi all take a bite of the ramen at

the

same time.  All three go still for a few moments, Kasumi leaning back

against

the kitchen counter.

Crimson: ...
Chris: ...
Crimson: I saw something coming...
Chris: But it sure as HELL wasn't THAT!  [shudders]
Crimson: You have to admit, it's original.

	Ranma and Ukyou blink, pick up the bowl of ramen and walk into the
kitchen.  ``'Sumi-chan, what should we do with this?  It's too dangerous

to

leave about.''

[Eerie music starts playing in the theatre.]

Chris: Appropriate.  This is like something out of a late night horror
film.

	``I don't know, Ran-chan.  Shanpoo said they'd only be good another
couple hours, so if you flush them they won't be any more trouble.''

	``Un.  Wakatta.''  Ranma walks off to the toilet while Ukyou moves to
slice the daikon Kasumi had set out.

	``I'm still sorry we didn't check before we ate those.''  Ukyou looks
down at her hands as she deftly makes paper-thin slices.

	``Don't worry Utchan, it wasn't your fault.  I should have heard them
talking about it having a love potion in it.  Besides, why should I be

upset at

having such cute spice?''  Kasumi finishes gathering the supplies for

dinner

and moves to start on the daikon when she realizes that Ukyou has already
started it.  She takes another knife and starts the carrots.

	``That is a really nice thing to say, 'Sumi-chan.''  Ranma says as she
walks up to the other two, hugging them both.  Ukyou shivers at the touch

of

her wet hair.  ``Sorry 'bout the hair.  Oyaji got after me for wasting

food and

tried to dunk me in the pond.  I got splashed when I threw him in.''

	``I know you have to do that, Ran-chan, but do you think it would have
worked to tell him that there was a love potion in it?''

	``No, but we'd better tell them all what happened.  Mom'll be by for
dinner, so we'll catch them then.''  Ukyou strokes Ranma's cheek as she

speaks,

then turns back to the mostly sliced daikon.

	``Un.  'Sumi-chan, what should I do?''  Ranma lets them both go as she
asks.

	``Fill that pot, start it, and string the peas.''  Ranma starts to
work.

Chris: Oh man, the fur's going to fly.......
Crimson: I bet they'll blame Ranma.
Chris: No bet

	``Obaba, you were right.  Shanpoo didn't catch who she wanted.''

	``Can't say I didn't warn her.  You look happy enough about how things
turned out.''

	``I'm besmitten, so I can't be objective about these things, but I
don't see how I could have been so upset about how much attention she

paid to

Ranma if I didn't fancy her.''  Akane smiles at her new love.

	``This is a bit personal, but do either of you plan on having
children?''

	``Hai.''  They both reply.

	``OK, do either of you plan on having any soon?''

	``Not me.  I'm not done growing yet, so it'd stunt my growth.''

	``I've hit my full potential, at least according to the doctors.  If
she wants to I'm willing.''

	``In that case you may want to ask Ranma for a donation.  He has good
genes, even if his father is scum.''  Akane promptly turned pink.

Chris: How umm.....
Crimson:  Technical?
Chris: I was thinking 'obvious'.  THAT is something I expect outof Cologne.
 

	``Wouldn't you mind?''  She asks Shanpoo.

	``Why would I mind.  You know the village laws too.  Any children
either of us bear are both of ours.''  Akane makes a few incoherent

noises,

then resorts to hand gestures.  Obaba understands them first.

	``You've got it wrong.  Nothing like that is necessary.  You take in a
clean bottle or film can and say `Ranma, Shanpoo and I have decided to

have a

child and we'd like you to make a donation to the cause' or some such.''

[Chris starts to cough]
Crimson: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Chris: [snickering] Can you imagine Ranma's face at that?
 

	``It's still embarassing.  I'll do it, though.  A child with her
eyes. . .''

	``That's right, we may not build nuclear weapons, but we do know how
babies are made.''  Shanpoo smiles at Akane, who brings herself out of

her

reverie to smile back.

****

	``You fed my little girls a love potion!''  Soun's tears make everyone
draw back from the flood.

	``No, father, Ran-chan didn't feed either of us the love potion.  We
both ate it of our own free will.  Ranma did tell Akane to taste the

ramen it

was in, but that was because he was trying to make her realize what she

was

doing wrong as a cook.  How was he to know that Shanpoo had drugged the

ramen?

It isn't something she's ever done before.''

Chris: EXCUSE ME?

	``That's right.  And I ate the ramen because I wanted to help Ranma
cope with losing Akane.  Heck, Akane said that we should do it.''

	``This isn't the way things would have gone if Shanpoo hadn't brought
by that bowl of ramen, but it isn't as bad as you are making out.  The

potion

doesn't make one fall in love with someone.  It just puts one in a

position

where one will come out of its influence either loving or at least
understanding the other people who went under with one.''  Ranma looks at

the

scab on her hand, ``In our cases it ended up being love.  I know I can

trust

these two,'' she gestures to Kasumi and Ukyou, ``with my life and my

soul, and

they know the same about me.  They are the only people who I can say that
about.  If that isn't true love, I will never know what it is.''

	``You set a high standard there, son.  It makes your mother proud of
you.  Are you going to marry either of them?''

Chris: Nodoka's taking this well.
Crimson: Soun's about right.
 

	``I remember hearing about a Shintou priest who will do ceremonies for
`odd' families.  We talked about going there with Shanpoo and Akane.'' 

Ranma

stops speaking and goes back to eating.

	``That would be nice.  I don't think the government will recognize
such a marriage, unfortunately.''

	``True.  However, it won't be much of a problem to get our names
changed to match, and the gay rights laws are finally starting to take
effect.''  Kasumi says before emulating her new iinazuke, eating with a

speed

and efficiency that the others had never seen in her.

Crimson: You know, I just realized a problem I have with this fic.
Chris: And that is?
Crimson: Everyone's too...reasonable.
Voice: Watch it there...you're cutting a little close.
 

	``Ano, could we speak to Ranma for a moment?''  Akane asks from the
doorway.  A quick look is exchanged and Ukyou, Kasumi and Ranma stand up

and

follow the two young women into the garden.

	``Hazukashii nan desu kedo,'' Akane breaks off, flushing.

Chris: Too much Japanese.

	``We've decided to have a child, and were wondering if we could get a
donation,'' Shanpoo holds out the carefully washed film canister that

they had

brought, ``If it is OK with you.''  She looks at Kasumi and Ukyou.

	Ranma follows the glance, and raises one eyebrow, shrugging her
shoulders slightly to say `It's your choice.'

	``I don't mind,'' Ukyou shrugs.

	``Nor I,'' Kasumi continues.

	``Guess you can,'' Ranma finishes.

	``Onee-chan, I didn't know you were interested in Ranma.''

	``I wasn't.  I took my bite of ramen at exactly the right moment,
though, so now I get to keep them.''  She wraps an arm each about Ranma

and

Ukyou.

Chris: [raises his hand] Can I have that recipe?
Voice: Shaddup, you're nto getting off that easily.
Chris: [shrugs] Worth a try

	``Could you come in and tell the family your plans?  Oh, and we were
planning a Shintou wedding ceremony, and we were wondering if you would

like to

have one too.''  Ranma asks over her shoulder as Kasumi turns all three

of them

back towards the house, ``Oh, and pass me the container,'' She catches it

one

handed and stuffs it into a pocket.  ``I should have it for you by

noonish

tomorrow, OK?''  She hears a muffled noise of assent from behind her.

Chris: I'd like to point out some medical problems with that proposal.
Crimson: [nods]  There's a reason it's frozen, kids.

	``Oh, and would you two like some dinner?  We made enough,'' Kasumi
looks back over her shoulder at the edge of the house.

	``Um,'' Akane looks at Shanpoo, who nods, ``Sure, I guess.''

	Dinner passes with a few annoyed looks exchanged between Soun and
Shanpoo, and then between Akane and Soun when she notices.

	``Ja mata ne,'' Akane takes her leave, Shanpoo echoing her a moment
later.

	``Ja,'' Ranma waves, a bittersweet smile on her face.  After they have
gone she turns to her mother, ``Okaasan, I hadn't expected you to take

this as

well as you have.''

	``Why shouldn't I?  You're the happiest that I've seen you, ever.  Your
iinazuke are lovely, and you all actually know how to express affection

without

violence.  It would be hard for things to get better.''  She smiles at

her

child, strokes her cheek with one finger, and Ranma leans into the caress

ever

so slightly.

[Chris and Crimson exchange a look]
Chris: You don't think...
Crimson: It couldn't be...
[They both shake their heads violently]
C&C: NAHHHHHH.

Epilogue:

	``Oh, yeah, Kunou-sempai, you wouldn't have heard.  Akane went off to
China with Shanpoo, and last I heard they were expecting their first

child.''

Ranma dodges the fountain of blood and watches amazed as Tatewaki passes

out in

the schoolyard.  ``Coming, Utchan?''

C&C: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

	``Un.''  And the two walk into school, fairly pleased with their summer
break.

Chris: OK, aside from our little points above, this is an awfully good fic.
Crimson: It really was a fun read.
Chris: [look up to the ceiling] Satisfied?  I've still got a love life for
you to screw up some more.
Voice: Don't tempt me.

Crimson: You know...I just realized why we're doing this.
Chris: Oh?
Crimson: That Tenchi/Ranma fusion by the same author.
Chris: [nods]
Crimson: HE [indicates the voice] wants to encourage her to write more.
Voice:  HEY!!!!  It's still a good fic!

--
Christopher "God-boy" Angel
cja124@mail.usask.ca      http://www.engr.usask.ca/~cja124
"Love is stronger than justice."
-The Munificent Seven by Sting