apologies to Chris Davies... who needed those
'beyond the sea' lyrics. :)

Here it is, rough.  C&C welcome, especially those
that point out continuity goofs and such, or the
aesthetic critiques.

I tried not to get too lazy with the fight scenes, really.

-rodM


--------------------------------------------------------------
< > - English
// // - emitted from a P.S. system, telephone, or other
        electric medium.
--------------------------------------------------------------
note: Eric Jones additions

The Pursuit of Happiness
Act 2: The Kings of Nerima
Day 2: Shuffling the Deck


[Furinkan High, 4th floor, 4:15 PM]

The classroom was once more rigged with laptops and chalkboard
diagrams as Nabiki's team prepared for another day of heavy betting.
Their leader, however, was not amongst them.  Instead, she was walking
the halls in a conversation with her new supernatural consultant and
Furinkan High's local fortune teller.  The news was a little
unexpected.

"He has what?" asked Nabiki, staring at Mio in surprise.

"From what I've been able to find in the books, the abnormal aura he
has hints towards him somehow having a variant of 'soul power'."

"Soul power?"

Mio nodded.  "It's an ancient power that was never really understood
well.  There are many theories on what, exactly, it is, but there have
never been any definite answers.  They all agree, however, that the
power is an extension of the person's soul.  Whether it is an
extension the soul, or a greater force that the soul connects to, is
under debate." 

"Mm-hm.  You said Kuno may have a variant of it?"

"Yes.  Normally, Soul Power is mastered by those with inner peace. 
Their battle aura is usually a bright blue.  However, should those not
of a peaceful spirit, perhaps haunted by inner demons or consumed by
evil intent, gain access to Soul Power, the darkness of their souls
taints the power, hence the darker aura.  In turn, the power twists
the user as well.  The power in such individuals is known as Psycho
Power."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow.  "So, in your opinion, Kuno shows all the
signs of having this power?"

Mio nodded.

"Give me the worst case scenario," said Nabiki.

Mio hmmed.  "Worst case scenario?  Kuno gains full mastery of the
power and becomes a nearly unstoppable psychotic."

"And the odds of that happening?"

"Not as likely as I feared it would be," said Mio.  "I observed Kuno
earlier today, hoping to see something more in his aura that the
cameras wouldn't catch.  He's surrounded, for some odd reason, by
several spells."

"Spells?"  Nabiki's mind spun a few times, considering the
implications.  Two seconds later, it came up with the only likely
suspect:  Gosunkugi.  She'd have to ask him about it later, but for
now...  "What kind of spells?"

Mio frowned.  "An unusual assortment.  Blessings, protection against
evil spirits, much more that I can't recognize."

"You can't recognize them?"

"No," said Mio.

"The spellcaster was that good?"

"No... he was that sloppy.  I get the impression that the caster was
throwing spells frantically."

Yes, thought Nabiki, definitely Gosunkugi.

"Anyways," continued Mio, "with these spells cast on him, he should
only be able to manifest the full power when his emotions are
incredibly strong." 

"Ah, good, end of problem," said Nabiki matter-of-factly.

"There IS one cause for concern, though," said Mio.  "The way those
spells are bound to him constantly, they're in constant conflict with
his Psycho power.  There may be side effects."

"What kind?" asked Nabiki.

"No way of knowing, really."

"So, does this factor have anything to do with his current run of good
luck in the tournament?" 

"With the power running through his system, despite being being
hindered by those spells, Kuno probably has improved reflexes,
stamina, and even strength.  From what I've heard, Kuno has always
been formidable, but just below the level at which the recent influx
of martial artists." 

"That would be correct," said Nabiki.  "You think he's been nudged up
to that level at last?"

"It's a possibility."

They walked further, Nabiki looking contemplative while Mio admired
the good weather outside.  They'd nearly come full circle around the
floor, and could hear the clacking of keyboards coming from Nabiki's
operations center. 

"Something's still bothering me," said Nabiki.  "How on earth did Kuno
gain this power to begin with?"

"That," said Mio, "you'll have to ask him yourself."

*

[Furinkan High campus, 5:30 PM]

Mikado sighed, running a hand through his hair, checking his
reflection over and over.  For the first time in far too long, he was
going it alone.  The King of Nerima Tournament.  Finally, he'd be able
to prove his greatness, and rid that one blemish from his otherwise
perfect record.. Saotome.  He would fall this tourney, by Mikado's own
hands. 

The first day had been a veritable cakewalk.  Having easily disposed
of some foppish member of the martial oragami school, he'd had to
defeat that lovely yet overzealous cheerleader girl.. 

That, however, was yesterday, the past.  His attention at the moment
was focused on finding the latest fight match listings to determine
where and when his next match would be.  He idly wondered if his next
opponent would prove to be more entertaining than yesterday's cannon
fodder. 

Mikado smirked.  It was of no consequence.  None could stand before
the might of his now-perfected style.  He had far more tricks up his
sleeve than when he first met Ranma.  The matches were to begin in
about an hour's time, but first he felt obligated to go about and meet
the fans... 

*

Ryouga shook his head, growling as he made a b-line to the nearest
washroom.  He was wet, cold, and female.  Of COURSE Moh wouldn't just
leave the loss alone..  He just HAD to get vengeance back.. 

Ryouga shuddered.  He and his partner, Shem Pu had a nasty thing with
water bottles.. 

But before Ryouga was allowed to think, or move, any further, a pair
of hands pulled her from behind, leaning her back.  Almost instantly,
a pair of lips were upon her.  -Male- lips. 

Mikado smiled, raising the innocent girl back to her feet.  He sighed
dramatically, "Ah, thank you my dear, for such a message of well
wishing. Now, Sanzenin Mikado shall go forth to victory.  I shall not
forget you, my lovely.." 

With that, Mikado rollerbladed off, leaving Ryouga to stare blankly
ahead of herself.  Momentarily. 

Ryouga shook her head, then her whole body followed soon after.  Teeth
grated, and flames build up around her body.  "I'M GOING TO KILL
HIM!!"  She cried, punching the ground, hard. 

Later, when she was able to get out of the crater, she decided to
clean up and change back to a male first. 

Stopping by one of the concessions stands, Ryouga got a cup of hot
water. As he waited, he noticed the tournament schedule.  His next
match was against... ah ha. 

Ryouga smiled.  Vengeance could wait wait for an hour or so. 

*

With a sigh, another girl stepped back giggling.  Mikado himself was
looking quite pleased as he made the rounds with the people and gave
his fans the adoration they desired. 

It was a good day to be Mikado Sanzenin. 

Mikado's reverie was cut short, when he walked headlong into another
man. He took a step back, his eyes narrowing in recognition. 

Simultaneously, Ryouga and Mikado cried out "YOU!!"  Then then both
simultaneously blinked.  Mikado was the first to recover. 

"You!  You are the boy who cost me my match against that coward
Saotome! ...Hibiki Ryouga, is it not?  It seems this tourney will be
more enjoyable than I thought..." 

"Hey, you, if you EVER kiss me again I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" 

Mikado blinked, then crossed his arms and frowned.  "Excuse me?  Kiss
YOU?  I think not.  What kind of pervert are you anyway?" 

Ryouga winced.  "Ah... I said... I _said_ if you kiss MY SISTER again
I'm gonna kill you!" 

Mikado blinked, puzzled.  "Are you sure you didn't say 'if you ever
kiss me again'?" 

Ryouga's brain managed to summon up a little cleverness.  He looked
scandalized.  "Why would I wanna kiss you?!" 

"Hey, that's what I was asking you!" 

"I did NOT say I wanted to kiss you!" yelled Mikado.  "You're not even
my type!" 

"What, you're saying I'm ugly now?!" 

At this point, both men had that really bad feeling, the kind that
says, 'hey, better look over your shoulder'. 

They did. 

There was a large crowd gathered, listening to these two argue, and
plenty of whispers about sexual orientation and perversion. 

Mikado turned pale.  So did Ryouga. 

"I'll... uh... see you in the match," grumbled Ryouga. 

"Likewise," said Mikado. 

They both _quickly_ went their seperate ways. 

*

Nabiki smiled, pocketing her mini-cam tape, and loading in another. A
huge smile was on her face.  "Well, that was amusing..." 

*

                         ---------- Round 4 --------

*

The sun set on the canal, giving the fighters standing by its side a
rather cinematic quality.  The spectators chose this moment to take
lots of photographs.

Akane ignored them, she had other things on her mind.

It wasn't her adversary's _very_ dusty, unkept appearance that had
Akane a little worried.

It wasn't the way that her adversary seemed totally and utterly
relaxed.

It was the large metal radial steel wire broom that had her worried.  

Akane had seen footage of Tanya's fights, and she knew she was in for
one rough experience.  Tanya Noori was a wily foe that was entirely
willing to fight dirty.  More often than not, she drew blood from her
foe either from strikes of the steel wire broom, or nastier looking
hook-like objects she kept in her jacket.

Akane snapped out of her thoughts when she realized Noori was
approaching her.

"Tendo."

"Um, yes?"

"Just want you to know.  Nothing personal."

*

Meanwhile, in the soccer field, a rivalry of sub-legendary proportions
with a year's worth of history was about to take place.

For once, thought Ranma, he was getting a break.

"Hahahaha... so, Ranma Saotome, fate decrees that I, Tatewaki Kuno
shall cross paths with you on this day!..."

Yeah, same old Kuno, talkative as ever.

"...Know now that your participation in this tournament is at an end,
for today..." 

Blah, blah, blah...

"...SURELY destiny has seen fit that the public witness as I,
Furinkan's Favorite Son, bring you, lowly cur that thou art, to your
knees!  HAHAHAHAHAHA!" 

"Aw, shut up already!"  As was tradition, Ranma used his unmatched
speed and slid in for multiple strikes at Kuno's jaw, finishing it
with an uppercut that sent Kuno flying back, hitting the ground flat
on his back, just as Ranma expected.

Ranma turned his back on Kuno, looking smug.  "So, did I get'em under
five seconds?" he asked the judge's table.  "I'm going for that
rec-"

*SLASH*

*

The Kolholz Ice Rink was stripped of its ice, leaving bare concrete
at the floor.  It was, to Mikado, a sad sight.  He took comfort in the
fact that it was only temporary.

He also took comfort in the legions of Mikado fans in the audience,
screaming his name, proclaiming their love for him.

"Thank you!" he said, smiling and waving as he rollerbladed around the
rink.  "Thank you all!"  He deftly caught a rose that was tossed to
him from the audience and smelled its aroma.

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the rink, Ryouga was standing
there, eager for the match to begin.

The announcer stepped to the middle of the rink, beckoning both
fighters to the middle, then extracted a wireless microphone.

//LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE KING OF NERIMA TOURNAMENT!  TO
MY LEFT, RYOUGA HIBIKI OF FURINKAN HIGH!//

There was some light applause, and a fair amount of boos and hisses
from the crowd as well.  After all, this was Mikado's turf.

//TO MY RIGHT, KOLHOLZ HIGH CHAMPION MARTIAL ARTS FIGURE SKATER MIKADO
SANZENIN!//

At this point, the crowd went wild with cheers, roaring and chanting
'Sanzenin! Sanzenin! Sanzenin!'.  Mikado's smile rose a notch and he
raised his hand to acknowledge the audience's adoration.

//THE MATCH ENDS BY KNOCKOUT OR SUBMISSION!  FIGHT//

The transition from smiling, waving egomaniac to speeding, attacking
martial artist was quick, catching Ryouga off guard.  Sanzenin sped
in sliding, knocking Ryouga off his feet and onto the floor.  Before
he could recover, Sanzenin sprang up in the air in a dazzling triple
rotation, then plowed into Ryouga's chest with both feet.

Surely, thought, Mikado, that was the end of that.  Two seconds later
Ryouga booted him into the wall.

*

"Stand your ground, coward!"  *SLASH*

Ranma sprang back as Kuno slashed another canal into the field.  In
the distance, several trees and the goalposts were laid to waste,
evidence of Tatewaki Kuno's newfound prowess.

As he landed, Ranma winced and put a hand over his ribs.  He was
still angry at himself for turning his back on his enemy, even if it
was Kuno.  Genma trained him to know better than that.  Now, because
of his arrogance, he had two bruised ribs that definitely weren't
going to be healed overnight.

Kuno lashed out again, his speed not quite but approaching the speed
of Ranma's chestnut fist technique.  Ranma dodged some strikes and was
forced to block others.  The strikes he blocked left a burning,
stinging sensation.

As Kuno's attack wound down, Ranma let loose with his own speed
attack.  To his surprise, Kuno actually managed to block a few, but
for the most part his punches were finding their mark.  Ranma finished
with backhand followed by a footsweep, knocking the kendoist off his
feet and into the ground.

"There, MUCH better," said Ranma.  He took a few steps back and caught
his breath.  This was just wrong, Kuno shouldn't have been this much
trouble.  But as the match extended, Kuno had been getting better.
Something odd was going on.

The question now was if Kuno would STAY down.

"Saotome... I... fight... ON!"  

Damn.  So much for a quick end.

Kuno rose quickly and slashed again, but this time a wave of dark
energy flew from his blade.  Ranma ducked, and the ki blast flew into
the side of Furinkan High, shattering brick and window alike. 

Ranma stared at the damage, then at Kuno, who was definitely
flickering with a dark aura.  

"Aw man, all I wanted was ONE easy match.  WHOA!"

*

Mikado spun wildly in place, with Ryouga snared in his Dance of Death
attack.  Punch after punch slammed into Ryouga but the lost boy showed
no signs of collapse.  Finally, Mikado spun away, leaving Ryouga
somewhat bruised and slightly dizzy and Mikado unhurt but with the
world spinning at an alarming rate.

Ryouga recovered first and went on the offensive, hurling bandanna
after bandanna at the skater until the air swarmed with them.  With
his speed, Mikado managed to kick away or dodge them, although a few
flew in close enough to cut his clothes.

He was so busy taking care of the bandannas that he failed to notice
the really big umbrella flying towards him.  A second later, he also
discovered that the umbrella was _very_ heavy.

*

The match had gone on for far longer than Ranma liked.  Kuno didn't
land too many more solid blows, but every hit of his bokken that did
get in was going to be sore for days after.  Ranma, in turn, laid Kuno
flat on his back several times, but the kendoist _always_ managed to
stand once again.

It was after a few more minutes that Ranma realized his mistake.  This
wasn't the same old Kuno.  He was fighting him as if he was, though,
and that just wasn't working.

There was something he knew that worked on anyone.  It worked against
Happosai just fine.  It flattened Ryouga before.  Surely, it'd work on
Kuno.

After several minutes of trading shots, and lots of insults by Ranma,
Kuno was burning red hot with rage.

Perfect.

"Ya call this a match, Kuno?  Your sister fights better than this!"

"INSOLENT DOG!"

Yep, definitely hot enough.

Carefully, Ranma began retreating in a spiral pattern, with Kuno
eagerly following, accompanied by a frenzy of slashes.  Ranma
concentrated on cool, kept his focus on being cool, let inner peace
fill his mind.

Then he let loose with the attack.

"HIRYU SHOTEN HA!"

A pillar of light surrounded by a sudden whirlwind surrounded Ranma,
catching Kuno in its path.  The Kendoist flew high in the sky,
spinning helplessly in the mini-tornado that the hiryu shoten ha
generated.

A second later, The Blue Thunder crashed down to earth, finally
unconscious.

*

Ryouga had an idea.

He didn't have many, and usually not during combat, but it was only
natural that his mind evolve.  This idea was working out well.

Around Ryouga's feet was shattered, cracked concrete, thanks to the
breaking point technique.  Mikado didn't dare skate into that region,
for his mobility would be severely affected.

Feeling smug about this tactical turn of events, Ryouga stood in the
middle of the rubble, daring Mikado to enter.  

"Come on!" taunted Ryouga.  "Scared?"

Circling Ryouga like a shark, Mikado scowled.  Yes, he could leap
across for some hit and run tactics, but considering Ryouga's skill,
that would not be wise.  Even worse, he was wrecking the rink.

There was one option, but he never did perfect it.

Mikado spun in place at a fast rate and continued to spin at an
increasing rate.  Ryouga raised an eyebrow as Mikado's spinning began
to cause an air current.  The vague outline of a whirlwind was
appearing around Mikado's form.  Ryouga stabbed into the ground,
setting off a breaking point, and debris flew towards Mikado.  It did
not, however, strike the skater, but instead became captured by the
now very visible mini-hurricane that Mikado's spinning was generating.

Suddenly, Mikado stopped spinning, hunched in Ryouga's direction, and
yelled "HURRICANE NO BON-ODORI!"  The cyclone of wind, no longer held
by Mikado's spinning, blazed towards Ryouga, slammed into him,
including the swirling debris that it caught.

Skating away in a wobbly manner, Mikado dusted off his jacket.
"Well... THAT should put an end to..."

Someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"Eh?"

*WHAM*

"That was for the kiss, pervert," grumbled Ryouga.

*

"RRRRRRRRYAAH!" -slash-

Akane screamed as the steel broom tore into her again, raking more
bloody trails on her arms.  Despite the pain, Akane kept enough
presence of mind to grab at the broom's handle.  With her superior
strength, she pulled the weapon out of Tanya's hands and tossed it
far, far out of the fighting area.

That broom turned out to be every bit as painful as Akane feared,
turning parts of her gi to shreads, and the bleeding, while not as bad
as it looked, looked very bad indeed, with bloody scratches across
her back, stomach, arms, and a particularly nasty swipe across the
face.

"All right, let's see how you fight withou... oh no."

Noori grimly pulled out what appeared to be a large rusty metal chisel
and an equally rusty hammer.

*

*WHACK*
*WHACK*

It was desperation time for Mikado Sanzenin.  The amount of concrete
left that was flat and unshattered was shrinking, and fast.  Ryouga
was closing in, and it appeared Hibiki's stamina was every bit as
tough as the rumors had said it was.

*POW*
*POW*

An ordinary man would have been out by now.  Ryouga was was just
finally breathing hard. 

At the moment, Mikado had been locked, eye to eye, with Ryouga, and
was mirroring everything Ryouga was doing.  Every dodge, every feint,
and every... 

*THUMP*
*THUMP*

... hit.

Ouch.

Quite frankly, he didn't know how much longer he could hold out.
Either the technique would finally take hold soon or Mikado would be
doomed.

The Reflection technique was a risky gambit.  Mirroring your opponent
long enough would result, if performed correctly, in hypnotizing the
opponent, rendering him/her completely under Mikado's control.

At the moment, there was the look in Ryouga's eyes... somewhat glazed,
but not quite hypnotized.  Mikado was definitely worried.

Come on, he thought, get hypnotized already!

*CRACK*
*CRACK*

Ow!

Mikado couldn't take it any longer and crumpled, clutching his ribs.

Ryouga did the exact same thing.

Mikado blinked.

Ryouga blinked.

"It worked!  It finally worked!" said Mikado, laughing crazily, and
with Ryouga doing the exact same.  So relieved was Mikado that he let
out a maniacal laugh, boosted by Ryouga's maniacal Mikado-esque laugh
echoing it.

Just to make sure things were working well, Mikado did a little jig.
Ryouga followed suit.

"Ahe... AHEHEHEE!  IT WORKED!" yelled Mikado.

"Ahe... AHEHEHEE!  IT WORKED!" yelled Ryouga.

Ryouga was wide open now.  Just one good solid 'everything Mikado had
left' boot to the head was sure to flatten the Ryouga.

Mikado hoped so.  He wasn't feeling very good at all.

Mikado concentrated hard, pulled his leg back, and unleashed a massive
spinning kick aimed at Ryouga's head.

*CRACK*

Ask anyone that had fought Ryouga before, and they'd say that his head
was the thickest thing on him.  Years of evolution had turned the
Hibiki Cranium onto one tough piece of work. 

Ranma could have told Mikado a simple truth: the Hibiki Cranium is
tough, but the Hibiki Jaw isn't quite as tough.

Mikado, unfortunately, wasn't aiming for the jaw.

This had the undesired effect of snapping Ryouga out of his
hypnosis.

And Mikado was wide open too.

*WHAM*

*

                    ---------- Intermission ----------

*

//...and so ended the spectacular match between Ryouga Hibiki and
Mikado Sanzenin.//

"And yet another impressive match for Ryouga Hibiki, eh?"

"SHUT UP RANMA!"

Once again, martial artists of every kind were gathered at King's
Cafe.  Around one table was, once more, Ranma, Akane, Ukyou, Ryouga,
and Natsumi.  New to the table today was Akari Unryuu.  Missing was
Nabiki and Kurumi Tendo

"Hey, where's Kurumi?" asked Akane.

"She is with that little womanizer at the moment," said Natsumi icily.

"Who, Prince Toma?" asked Ukyou.

Natsumi nodded solemnly.  "I swear, if he hurts her in any way I shall
CASTRATE THE BRAT WITH MY STAFF!"

This outburst set off a brief, uncomfortable wave of silence in the
cafe, except for Ryouga, who was brutally reminding Ranma that it was
-Tatewaki Kuno- that gave him such a hard time.

"Prince Toma is a nice boy, really," said Akane.  "Don't worry."

"Says the woman he KIDNAPPED," replied Natsumi.  "They were supposed
to be here five minutes ago.  I'll KILL him!"

Ranma, meanwhile, reminded Ryouga of the lack of skill of his previous
opponents, thus proving that Ranma was the superior martial artist.
Ryouga replied with a punch to the jaw.  Ranma, unhappy with Ryouga's
reply, slammed Ryouga's head into the table.

"Hey Akane, you don't look so hot," said Ukyou. "You okay?"

Akane, whose gi was shredded badly, was covered in many places by
bandages.  She also had a black eye and was holding an ice pack to her
jaw.

"I'll live," she said sadly.

"Did you..."

"I lost."

"To who?" wondered Ukyou.

"Tanya Noori."

Ukyou frowned.  "Gaijin?  Crossdresser?  Tosses soot bombs?"

Akane nodded.  "That's the one."

"How'd it happen?  What went wrong?"

A frown formed on Akane's face.  She put one elbow on the table and
rested her head on her palm.  "Well, a number of things, really.  She
was faster than me, which was one of the big reasons.  She really got
a lot of good hits in with her steel broom before I got rid of it.
Mostly, though, she kept on blinding me with those soot bombs."

"Sorry to hear ya got eliminated, sugar."

"How about you guys?" asked Akane.  "Who'd you fight?  How'd it go?"

"Took down Shinohara High's champion Rhythmic Gymnastics Martial
Artist," said Ukyou.  "Kaede the Red Star or something like that.
Kinda like Kodachi, without the dirty tricks."

"I defeated Toma's manservant, Won Ton," said Natsumi.  "It was... a
most unusual match."

"Why?" asked Akane.

"He behaved as a dog would and kept on biting my staff."  Natsumi
lifted her staff and showed them the multiple bite marks.

"So how'd ya beat him?" asked Ukyou.

"I pretended to throw my staff into the canal and yelled, 'FETCH!'."

"That's it?" asked Akane.

"That's it," said Natsumi.

At this point, Ryouga was proudly pointing out that he never, ever
resorted to his female side to gain victory while Ranma had frequently
'gone girly'.  Ranma retorted by reminding Ryouga of their lifetime
record vs. each other.  Ryouga protested, citing rampant cheating on
Ranma's part.  Ranma, in turn, demanded to know EXACTLY how he
cheated.

"Hello ladies, sorry I'm late," said Nabiki, taking a seat.  She
promptly opened her laptop and plugged a phone line into the wall
outlet.  "Business had me preoccupied."

"Have you seen my sister anywhere?" asked Natsumi.

"As a matter of fact, yes," replied Nabiki.

"Where?"

"She paid me not to tell you."

"WHAT?"

"Don't worry, they're fine," said Nabiki.  "Trust me."

*

"... whose beauty pales in comparason to your smile."

"Oh Prince Toma!"  *giggle*

*

"The matchups for the next round come up yet?" asked Ukyou.

"Let's see."  Nabiki clicked several times, the screen flickering
rapidly as she hopped across the site.

------------------------------------------------------------------
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The requested object does not exist on this server. The link you
followed is either outdated, inaccurate, or the server has been
instructed not to let you have it.
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"Again?"

"Hm?" said Akane.

"The schedules have been late every round," said Nabiki.  "It's just a
bit of an inconvenience to me, considering my current interest.  It's
really starting to irritate me."

*

[Ryouga Hibiki vs.        ]

"Let's see.... ah."

[Ryouga Hibiki vs. Kodachi Kuno.}

"Who else... hrm..."

[Ranma Saotome vs.            ]

"Hrm... who... who... OH!  Now THIS looks fun!"

*

                ------------------ Round 2 ----------------

*

Ryouga frowned.

"Ohohohoho!  Ryouga darling, how interesting that we meet in combat!"

Ugh.  This wasn't going to be fun.  First of all, he didn't like
hitting girls.  Second, Kodachi really, _really_ spooked him.
Third... that was a really... really tight outfit she was wearing.
Left little to the imagination.

"Don't worry darling," purred Kodachi lustily, "there's pleasure in
pain too."  She cracked her ribbon like a whip, her eyes never leaving
Ryouga's body. "Just leave it to me."

Oh boy.

*

Ranma sighed, waiting for his opponent to arrive.  He'd seen the
lineup for this round, saw the name, but wasn't able to get a profile
on the person.

All he knew was the man's name.  Kujo Masakari.

A passing cloud seemed to cast a shadow on the battlefield that was
Furinkan's baseball field.  After Ranma turned around, he realized it
wasn't a cloud.  It was Kujo Masakari.

He was big.  Very big.  Obscenely big.  He was taller than the Dojo
Destroyer and far more muscular.  Members of the audience could easily
imagine the behemoth starring in a film called 'Kujo The Barbarian'. 
The titanic sword and leather loincloth certainly helped in that
image. 

Ranma blinked.

"Oh boy."

//IN THE RED SHIRT, FROM THE SAOTOME SCHOOL OF ANYTHING GOES MARTIAL
ARTS, RANMA SAOTOME!//

The giant listened, committing the memory to name.  If anyone were to
ask, he'd say he was listening so he'd know what name to scribe on his
Book of Maimed Victims.

//IN THE LEATHER LOINCLOTH, JUST ENTERING THE FIELD, KUJO MASAKARI!//

The large barbarian gave a nasty grin.  Ranma wasn't sure, but he
thought he saw some red splotches in those needle-like teeth.

//CHAMPION OF THE DEATHBRINGER SCHOOL OF ARTISTIC MAIMING!  FOUR TIME
WINNER OF THE HIMMLER AWARD FOR CREATIVE BRUTALITY!//

Kujo laughed.  Ranma thought the ground was shaking.

//AND EATER OF LIU FANG!//

Ranma stared at the announcer.  "Eater of Liu Fang?!?!"

Kujo roared.  The crowd went silent.

"Me Kujo Masakari! I eat Liu Fang, Master of the Shaolin, in combat to
death! I wrestle alligators for fun, torture children for giggles, and
burn cities for relaxation! I use redwoods for toothpicks, lightning
for a nail file, and the mountains for a back scratcher! Where I walk,
the grass withers, and my breath makes chlorine look like oxygen! 
Lions fawn at my feet like housecats, and wolves whimper and run when
they see me! My piss cuts through solid steel!" 

The audience collectively 'eww'ed.

"More than I needed to know," muttered Ranma.

"I can't look in a mirror for fear of scaring myself! The devil
shudders at the thought of my crimes, and the Spanish inquisition would
turn green and run after five seconds of my sport! The screams of the
dying are my lullaby, and thunder is a pale imitation of my laughter! 
I will have the prize this day, and dance in your skin on your FLAYED,
BLEEDING CORPSE!" 

At the moment, Ranma was thinking of several things.

Feeling, actually.  

Feeling all the bruises from the match against the Dojo Destroyer, the
needlepoint burns from Kirin, the good shot to the ribs that Kuno gave
him...

Ranma shook his head and grumbled to himself.  "One easy match, all I
ask for is one easy match."

Meanwhile, up in the stands...

"Mmm, looks like a tough one," said Hiroshi.  "How many minutes, do
you think?"

Daisuke hmmed for a moment, thinking things over.  "I'd say...
fifteen.  Any thoughts on how Ranma's gonna come through on this?"

It was Hiroshi's turn to hmm a bit.  "Wella... he's good, but he's
obviously getting worn by the schedule.  I'd say three cuts, two
bites, a dozen bruises, and maybe, _maybe_ a broken nose." 

"Wouldn't be as bad if Ranma was coming in fresh on this one," said
Daisuke.

"Of course, of course."

*

Meanwhile, in the Furinkan High soccer field...

There was a Tendo Fan Club in the stands, and it wasn't for Akane.

Natsumi Tendo, by virtue of her flashy style, natural grace, sharp
beauty, and her habit of not wearing a bra (causing some to nickname
her 'the bra-less wonder')  had inspired a cult following that had
grown as the tournament progressed. 

Unused to fanfare and admiration by a large audience, Natsumi was
flattered, very much so.

The headband looked familiar.

So did the grim demeanor.

Natsumi asked, "are you, by any chance, a Hibiki?"

"Well... no, I'm not."  Ryuu Kumon tugged his bandanna idly and
wondered why on earth people kept on asking him that question.

He peered at Natsumi's weapon of choice curiously.

"Excuse me," he asked, "is that... a rugbeater?"

*

A field in Nerima's Tai Park served as the battleground for Tanya
Noori's next match.

Tanya's next opponent didn't look particularly menacing.  Clad in an
ordinary t-shirt, denim slacks, suspenders, with a bandanna covering
his head.

<Don't look so tough> she said in English.

The boy smiled.  <I'm more than I appear to be.>

So, she thought, the boy speaks English.  <Izzat sow?>

<Mm-hm.  In fact...>  Suddenly, he pulled out a large grey cape,
covering himself.  As quickly as it appeared, it vanished.

Tanya found herself staring at... herself.

<I'd say I wos as good as yew, aye?> said her copy, perfectly
immitating Tanya's voice.

Tanya stared, bug-eyed.  <Wot th'bloody hell are yew?>

Tanya's immitation grinned eerily.  <Yew c'n call me Ken... Copycat
Ken.>

*

It was a most generous contribution from the Kuno clan that they
allowed the use of the Kuno estate for the King of Nerima tournament,
a 'generous gift to the martial arts community' said Kuno.

The fee that the tournament organizers were paying the Kuno estate
certainly was a payment for that gift.

In the majestic inner courtyard of the Kuno estate, watched by a fair
sized crowd, Ukyou awaited her opponent.  She was a little nervous,
but determined to prevail.

//IN THE BLUE SHIRT AND BLACK TIGHTS, UKYOU KUONJI FROM THE KUONJI
SCHOOL OF OKONOMIYAKI MARTIAL ARTS!//

She was here early.  Her parents had taught her about the importance
of being early and ready.

//AND JUST ENTERING THE GROUNDS, FROM THE UNORTHODOX WEAPONRY SCHOOL
OF MARTIAL ARTS, RYO MUHOSHIN!//

He walked smoothly, almost gliding into the courtyard, with a small
grin on his face and his umbrella twirling idly.

He believed in making an -entrance-.

"Hello, Kuonji."

"Hello, Muhoshin."

He peered at her, rubbing his chin in thought.

"What're you looking at?" 

Ryo shrugged, then tightened the black leather gloves on his hands.
"Nothing.  Just wondering if you'll be over or under a minute.  I have
a record to keep, after all."

//WINNER DETERMINED BY SUBMISSION OR KNOCKOUT!  FIGHT!//

*

-slash-

"YOW!"

-slash-slash-slash-slash-  "I KILL YOU MAN!  CRUSH YOUR BONES AND USE
YOUR ENTRAILS FOR LOINCLOTH!" -slash-slash-slash-

"HYAH!"  *CRACK*

"NGAH!  GOOD HIT!  HAHA!  I LIKE!"

"Aw man!"

"Wow, this guy's pretty darn savage," said Hiroshi.

"Yeah, pretty darn tough," said Daisuke.  "Pretty mean with the
sword."

"HYAH!"  -thwap-  *CLANG*

"Well, there goes Kujo's sword," said Hiroshi.

Daisuke nodded.  "Wonder how he fights witho-"

*CHOMP*

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWCH!!!"

The audience as a whole winced.

"Oooooh, that's gotta hurt," said Daisuke.

Hiroshi nodded.  "Oh yeah, definitely."

*

Ukyou and Ryo swung spatula against umbrella, striking steel against
steel.  She wielded the giant spatula with surprising speed, fending
off Ryo's numerous slashes.  Ryo, on the other hand, dodged all of
Ukyou's swipes entirely, weaving in and out between slashes in an
attempt to break her defense.

As Ukyou retreated a step, dodging a swipe to her face, there was an
audible -click-.

Both fighters blinked, then jumped away as a dozen bamboo spears shot
out from the surrounding rooftops.

Ukyou looked bewildered.

Ryo looked irritated.

The audience gasped.

Within the audience, Kuno whapped Sasuke in the head.

"Fool!" yelled Kuno, "You forgot to deactivate the traps!"

"Sorry master!"

"Waitaminute!  This isn't fair!" yelled Ukyou, right before she
narrowly dodged another slash from Ryo's umbrella.  "HEY!  What are
you doing?!" 

Ryo grinned wickedly.  "Trying to win."

*

"FIST OF THE WHITE SWAN!"

*CRACK*

Tanya few back, head first, striking the ground hard.

Bloody hell, she thought dazed, I just got struck with a potty!  

A POTTY!

She was snapped out of her daze when a stream of spear-ended chains
flew at her head. 

<YEOW!!!>

She sprung back to her feet, ignoring the pain, and wondered what her
enemy would become next.  She'd been thrown off guard and was
tenative, not knowing what to expect next from him.  His version of
Kinii of the Muscle Sword Clan was nearly devastating, and his
Happosai really, _really_ made her MAD.

At the moment, his Mousse was making her panic.  endless chains and
blades were something she did NOT like. 

<BACK OFF, YA BLOODY FREAK!> Tanya reached into her jacket and sent
several soot bombs flying into 'Mousse'.  She grinned, seeing the
bombs find their mark, and leapt high, intending to dive into the soot
cloud from directly above with steel-wire broom spinning.

She jumped, reached the apex of her jump, prepared to bring her broom
down in several rapid radial strikes....

*BOING*  <AAAW!>

... and bounced off of something massive.

She landed awkwardly a few feet away and stared at some... some
-thing- that was emerging from the clouds.  Small unidentifiable
objects were swirling in and out of the sooty depths in an almost
insect-like manner. A sudden gust of wind cleared the soot cloud,
revealing the massive form of the Dojo Destroyer. 

<Aw bloody h->

*WHAM*

*

Kodachi kept her distance, lashing out with her ribbon and a few
occasional pin strikes.  Ryouga deflected the pins with his umbrella
and retaliated with a few bandanna projectiles of his own.

And then she changed her tactics.

Without warning, she charged at him, ribbon lashing at him furiously. 
The ribbon left its mark on his face, arms, and chest.  He fell back,
snapping open his umbrella for cover.

Kodachi took advantage of his defensive stance and flipped over him,
glomping herself to his back in a -tight- embrace.

It was proven to Ryouga at that moment beyond a doubt that Kodachi's
leotard was made of _very_ thin material.  That, and her bosom was
indeed impressive.

"H-hey!"

"Mmmm, Ryouga darling, you're so tense," she purred into his ear,
running her hands along his chest.  "Let me loosen you up."

And then she wrapped her ribbon around his throat. 

*

Natsumi advanced on Ryuu with lighting fast swipes of her rugbeater
staff, speedy enough to send dust and leaves flying about and
constantly in the air.

Ryuu was nimble enough to dodge her strikes, and puzzled her with his
lack of offense thus far.

It was mildly offending the Tendo girl.

"Why" -slash- "are" -slash-slash- "you" -slash-slash-slash- "holding
back for?!"

"Holding back?" asked Ryuu, taking a defensive jump back.  "I wasn't
holding back.  I was finding all your weaknesses."

Natsumi barely had time to dodge when Ryuu suddenly barreled forward,
feet first, surrounded by flaming spirals of ki, yelling "RYUZANSHO!"

Landing some feet away, Natsumi turned around to see a giant crater
where Ryuu had landed, and him standing in the middle of it.  He
pulled his arms back, then swept them both forward, yelling,
"RYUUKUSAI!"  Two ki blasts, shaped like blades, flew towards her.

Natsumi swung her staff with a cry of "SHINKUUZAN!" and a swirling
tornado whipped out from the rugbeater, colliding with Ryuu's attack.

Unfortunately, the ki blasts cut right through it.

*

The only benefit of having Kodachi strangle him was that it kept his
mind off of her breasts pressing into his back and hips grinding
against his rear.

"G-get... off..." croaked Ryouga.

"That's what I'm trying to do, darling," said Kodachi.

"Gaaah!" Panic finally sent Ryouga an idea.  He flipped in the air,
Kodachi still firmly attached to him, and slammed back-first into the 
ground.  He felt the ribbon loosen and stumbled to his feet.

Planted firmly in the ground, knocked out, was Kodachi.  And she
stayed down.

Ryouga breathed a sigh of relief.

*

The match between Tanya and Copycat Ken had suddenly and dramatically
turned around in momentum.

It began when Ken took the form of a certain bandanna-clad boy.

<YOU!>

"Nani?"

<KIIIIIIIIIIIILL!!!>

And then it seemed Noori became unstoppable, with a bold, fearless
barrage of attacks right in Ryouga/Ken's face at a speed his form
couldn't keep up with.

Steel wire raked across flesh, soot bombs were slammed into his face
at point blank range, and to add to the uter brutality of it all, she
slammed a soot scraper in his crotch. 

Multiple times.

<KILL YOU, BLOODY SONOFABITCH!>

Ryouga/Ken staggered helplessly away, then fell to the ground as his
mysterious cloak enveloped him entirely.

<GET UP, YA BLOODY GIT!>

She reached down, pulled the cloak away, and froze.

It was Konatsu.

Bloody, brutalized, beaten Konatsu.

The Kunoichi looked up at Tanya with pleading eyes.  "Noori-sama... 
please don't..." 

<K... Konatsu?>

Tanya reached down tenatively.

And then Konatsu suddenly lashed out with a lightning quick and
devastating kick to Tanya's skull.

The last thing Tanya saw, before fading into unconsciousness was
Konatsu's mocking, laughing face.

*

Meanwhile, back at the Ranma vs. Kujo match...

-CHOMP-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

Daisuke whistled.  "Man, never saw anyone get Ranma this flustered."

"No kidding," said Hiroshi.  "I've never even heard of him BITING an
opponent until now.  Guess Kujo really got him mad."

"PUNY BOY!  LET GO OF MY ANKLE!"

*

Ukyou was breathing heavily, worn down by the very frantic nature of
the match.  Across the battlefield, spears and arrows were planted in
the ground, trap doors were open, and Kodachi's pet alligator was
finally making its way back into the outside pond where it belonged.

Somehow, Ryo didn't seem terribly fazed by the onslaught of traps.
Instead, he kept on being the aggressor, forcing Ukyou to back away
all the time.  He met her spatula attacks stroke for stroke, batted
away the flower bombs, and used his umbrella like a shield when she
flung her spatula shuriken at him.

It was feeling to her like a game of cat and mouse, and she wasn't the
cat.  This smelled of a setup.

Ryo charged again, this time swiveling the umbrella in his hand.
Ukyou lashed out, but found her spatula caught by the hook end of
Ryo's umbrella.  With a twist of his arm and a kick to her arm, she
lost her spatula.  It went spinning in the air briefly, then was
caught in Ryo's left hand.

He held Ukyou's weapon, smiling.  His grip on the giant spatula
shifted slightly, shattering it into several pieces.

Ukyou turned pale.  "My spatula!"

Ryo quietly laughed.  The Kuonji girl relied far too much on her giant
spatula.  Without it he doubted she was going to be any trouble.  Just
might get the first submission of the match.

"You're weaponless.  Surrender?"

Definitely beaten, he thought.

She answered with a sudden and unexpected boot to the head.

A moment later, Ukyou was pleasant surprised as Ryo stumbled back a
few steps, almost falling.  There was a barely audible click.

And then the giant pineapple statue fell on him.

A few seconds passed.  Ukyou blinked.

An unusual way to win, but she wouldn't mind.

//THE WINNER, BY KNOCKOUT, UK-//

The giant pineapple statue shattered violently, cutting off the
announcer. Chunks of concrete flew everywhere, stinging Ukyou and
causing everyone to look away, else their eyes get struck by shrapnel.

Before Ukyou looked up again, something seized her by the throat,
lifted her into the air, and slammed her into the ground face first. 
She yelled in pain, twitching slightly, then felt a knee slam into her
back.  Ukyou tried to get up but her arms were quickly grabbed, pulled
back, and tied by something. 

In her ear, Ryo asked quietly, "surrender?"

"Go to hell!"

He rammed his knee into her back again.

"Surrender?" he asked once more.

"Never!"

"Your nails," he said.

"Er, what?"

"Your nails," he repeated, gently caressing her fingertips, "they're
very strong."

"What are you supposed to be now, Martial Arts Manicurist?" she
replied angrily.

"Well, no.  Bakusai-ten-satsu."

"Huh?"

A jolt of pain hit Ukyou, as she felt an explosion hit her left pinky
finger.  It was stinging and shuddering and she could feel the blood
flowing down her arm.  She tried not to scream.  She wasn't sure if
she did. 

"Now," said Ryo, again talking close to her ear, "that was just a
fingernail."  She felt him move slightly, then heard the telltale
-click- of a mechanical device.  A moment later, there was a long,
narrow needle, attached to the tip of Ryo's umbrella, in front of her
eyes. 

"See this?" asked Ryo.  "I use this to make your bones explode.
Surrender?"

Damn him, she thought.  Sadistic bastard.

"Oh, forget I asked," said Ryo suddenly.  "I'll do it anyway."

Ukyou twitched, both in pain and fear.  "N... no!  NO!"

She felt sharp metal graze against her fingers and fought the urge to
scream again.

"First we start with the fingers.  Won't be able to cook your
fab-u-lous okonomiyaki anymore, eh?  And then we start on the teeth. 
Oh, you'll rea-" 

"RYO!  NO!"

Ukyou recognized that voice.  Akari.  Yelling from the stands.

"DON'T DO IT RYO!  PLEASE!"

The metal ever-so-slightly pierced her finger.

"RYO!  STOP IT!"

Ryo snarled.  "Damn that bitch," he hissed quietly.

"PLEASE!"

"Damn it all," spat Ryo.  "I hate her."

Ukyou felt something strike against the back of her skull.

Someone screamed.

The world went black.

*

                ------------ Wrapup -----------

"Hrmm."  Ranma peered to the left, then the right, and to the left
again.  He pounded fist on palm and nodded sagely.  "Seperated at
birth, definitely."

"SHUT UP, RANMA!" echoed Ryouga and Ryuu.

Akane applied a swift and firm elbow to Ranma's side.

Ranma held his hands up in a sign of surrender.  "Hey, just joking!"

This seemed to pacify the bandanna-clad duo, as they both grumbled,
giving him one last evil glare before they turned their attention
elsewhere.  Ryouga looked idly at the television screens while Ryuu
chatted with Natsumi most enthusiastically about martial arts. 

Meanwhile, Kurumi was looking glum since her Prince Toma was away on
some personal matters he had to attend to.  She was glaring daggers at
Ryuu, and irritated that Natsumi wasn't paying much attention to her.

"Heard ya got eliminated today," Ranma said to Ukyou.  "You okay?"

Ryuu complimented Natsumi on her speed and sharpness of form.  Natsumi
complimented Ryuu on his impressive use of ki.  Kurumi blew Ryuu a
raspberry, but was easily ignored.

"Yeah, Ranchan, I'm fine," said Ukyou, waving her hand casually in
dismissal.  Unfortunately, that only drew attention to the bloodied
bandage that was wrapped around her pinky finger. "Just a little
rattled, and I still got a headache." 

Ryuu took Natsumi's hand and brushed a bandage that was put across her
hand.  He asked if she wasn't hurt too badly.  Natsumi blushed
slightly and said she was quite fine, thank you.

Kurumi huffed.

"What happened to you, Ranchan?" asked Ukyou.  "You look like you had
it worse than me."

Ryouga grinned.  "Yeah, tell us about your match, Ranma.  Especially
that all-powerful Anything Goes Ankle-Biter Technique?"

"SHUT UP, RYOUGA!"

"HAHAHAHA!"

"Ranchan, what's he talking about?" asked Ukyou.

"She's gonna find out sooner or later, Ranma," said Ryouga smugly.
"So, you going to tell her or me?"

"I will, okay!  Sheesh."

"So... what happened?" asked Ukyou again.

"Ibittheguy," he mumbled.

"What was that?  Couldn't hear you," said Ukyou.

"Yeah, Ranma, say that again?" teased Ryouga.

"I bit the guy, okay?" said Ranma angrily.  "You happy now?"

"Bit him on the ankle," added Ryouga.

"Hey man, it was a tough fight!"

"Sure, Ranma, riiiight," said Ryouga.

"He bit me first!" yelled Ranma.

Ukyou frowned.  "He did?  Ew."

"On Ranma's butt," filled in Akane.

Ukyou and Ryouga burst out laughing.  Ryuu and Natsumi were in a world
of their own.  Kurumi was doing her best to destroy that world. 

Ranma glared at his fiancee.  "Akane!  What'd ya go and tell'em for?!"

"Oh please, they'd have found out sooner or later," said Akane.  "If
we hadn't arrived here first they'd have seen it."

"Seen what?" asked Ukyou.

Akane looked at Ranma.  "C'mon, show it."

"No way!" protested Ranma.

"C'mon, Ranchan, let's have a look," teased Ukyou.

"Come on, it's not that bad," soothed Akane.

Ranma scowled.  He stood up and turned around, revealing two distinct
bitemarks.  One was a nasty set of rips along his arm, the other was a
definite big chomp to his left posterior cheek.  Through the holes,
his boxers and some bandages were visible.

"Happy now?" asked Ranma grumpily.

"Yes dear," said Akane, smirking.

"Hey, Ranma, that was two bite marks?" asked Nabiki, not bothering to
look up from her laptop.

"Um, yeah."

"How many bruises?" asked Nabiki.

"What?"

"Just answer the question.  How many bruises?"

"A dozen, I think."

"Damn.  Cuts?"

"Three.  Nabiki, why a-"

"How many minutes was the match?"

"It w-"

"Nevermind, got it here.  Fifteen minutes thirty-two seconds.  Damn."

"Huh?"

"Did the guy break your nose?"

"No."

"Whew!  Dodged a bullet there."

"Nabiki, why are you asking me this stuff?"

"Your injuries are part of a gambling pool.  Just needed to
confirm'em."

"WHAT?!"

>From across the room, Hiroshi could faintly be heard crying.
"Everything but the broken nose!  So close!"

"Cheer up, man," said Daisuke.  "We can still recover from this."

Ukyou took a moment to glare angrily at a certain slim, arrogant
figure that was seated across the cafe, cozying up in a couch with a
certain pig-obsessed girl.  She was very much worried about Akari's
welfare.

*

"What's that on your tie, Ryo-kun?" asked Akari.

"Hm?  This?"  He put down the small stack of paper he was reading over
and examined his tie briefly.  "I think it's Miss Kuonji's blood." 

Akari 'eep'ed and turned away, repulsed by the sight of blood.  "Ryo!
You shouldn't wear it now!"

He gave her a questioning glance.  "But this is my favorite tie."

"Ryo, please?" asked Akari.  "Please?"

"Geeeh."  He narrowed his eyes, mumbled under his breath for a moment,
then removed the tie.  "Anything for you, dear," he said with a forced
smile.

"Thank you, Ryo-kun," said Akari.  "I wanted to ask..."

"Hm?"

"Did you have to be so rough with Ukyou today?"

"Yes," he replied simply.

"But-"

"Akari, dear, we're martial artists.  We expect this sort of thing."

"But-"

"Darling, relax.  It's normal.  Really."

Akari sighed.  "Well, if you say so."  She sat back again, putting her
head on his shoulder and lazily read over the paper he was reading.

"Ryo?"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"What's that you're reading?"

"Oh, this?" he asked, waving the paper slightly.  "A list of the
remaining fighters in the tournament.  See?  There's Saotome, Kumon,
Hibiki, Magical Girl... aheheh... Kuruma.  Aheheheh."

Akari frowned.  "Magical Girl Kuruma?  Ryo, what's so funny?"

"She's pathetic, that's all.  Aheheheh.  Ah.  Nevermind."  He shuffled
through the papers more, 'hmm'ing every now and then.

"Why are you looking at all this?" asked Akari.

"Know thy enemy, Akari," said Ryo sagely.  "Best way to prepare.  Oh, 
look at this one, PANTYHOSE Taro.  What a name, eh?"  Ryo laughed
slightly while Akari frowned again.

"That's his name?" asked Akari.

"Seems to be," said Ryo gleefully.  "Either that or he's quite a
pervAAAAK!"

Ryo Muhoshin found himself lifted up in the air, by a single arm,
belonging to a very irate young man in Chinese clothing.

"Watch your mouth, skinny," said the man solemly.

Ryo blinked, still dazed from the sudden change in altitude.  Then he
noticed something:  the person who was currently  responsible for his
sudden change of altitude seemed to have a very peculiar sash.

"Say," he said, looking at it.  "Is that a pantyhose sash you're
wearing?"

"So what if it is?" growled the other.

Ryo met the other's glare with a maniacal stare of his own.  "Would
your name happen to be... PANTYHOSE?! HAHAHAHAHAAA"

His umbrella was just within reach, leaning on the couch.

He reached for it. 

>From across the room, King frowned.  "TAKE IT OUTSIDE, YOU TWO!"

*

Ukyou stood up slightly.  "Uh oh."

"Uh oh what?" asked Ryouga.

"Trouble."

"What kinda of trouble?" asked Ranma, also standing up slightly,
although wincing from the bites.

"Looks like we might have a brawl break out.  Look."  She pointed
across the room, where someone was holding Ryo up by the collar of his
shirt.

"Damn," said Ryouga.  "Him."

Ranma nodded and narrowed his eyes.  "Taro."

"Who?" asked Ukyou.

"Pantyhose Taro," said Ranma.  "Tough fighter.  Jusenkyou cursed too."

Ryouga nodded.  "Looks like he's about to start something with-"

Before he could finish, Ryo started laughing maniacally.

-CRASH-

Taro tossed him through the window.

"Brawl it is," said Ukyou.

Ranma and Ryouga sat back down.

Akane looked a bit confused, then shrugged.

"What're you guys doing?" asked Ukyou.

"Taro's a jerk, Muhoshin's a jerk," said Ryouga.  "We shouldn't
interfere."

In the distance, thunder rumbled.

"Sounds like rain," observed Ryouga.

"This is gonna be messy," said Ranma.

Ukyou tapped her foot for a moment, then frowned when she saw Akari
make her way to the front door.

"Someone's gotta stop that girl from getting in trouble," Ukyou
muttered.

*

Ryo landed on his back, outside on the sidewalk, but recovered nicely
with a roll and was back on his feet.

He was in trouble.

He didn't have his umbrella.

As Taro stormed out of the front, Ryo dug in his pockets and quickly
put on his leather gloves.  Not as good as umbrella, but better than
nothing.

He could have backed down.

He could have apologized.

He'd been given the lovey-dovey treatment by Akari for the last month,
and desperately needed to maim someone, and he didn't care who.

"Come on, PANTYHOSE!" he spat.

Behind Pantyhose, a small crowd spilled out into the street to watch
the match.  Akari was there, but being held back by Ukyou.

Taro roared in blind rage and charged.  Ryo stood his ground.  The two
threw a furious round of punches and kicks at each other.  Ryo managed
to land only a few, with Taro dodging gracefully from most of his
strikes.  Ryo was struck with a good number of Taro's punches, but
seemed only to sneer more with each blow.

In truth, those punches hurt, but he wasn't about to show it.

Finally, Ryo went for his 'trademark' move of the tournament so far.
Ignoring the half-dozen quick and powerful punches that landed on his
chest, he reached forward and grabbed Taro's neck in an iron grip.

Ryo lifted Taro up in the air, prepared to slam him into the ground,
then reeled back as Taro's foot slammed into his jaw.

He refused to let go.

Then Taro kicked him again.

Then he let go.

"AaaaaaghACK!"

And once again he found himself lifted up by his collar, staring into
Taro's enraged eyes.

High above, stormclouds brewed.  A streak of lightning ripped across
the sky.  Both looked up.

Taro began to laugh.

>From the shattered window of King's cafe, Akari cried out.  Ryo really
hoped she wouldn't interrupt.

"What's so funny, PANTYHOSE?" snapped Ryo.

Then it began to rain.

*

>From inside the cafe, Ranma and co. heard the crowd outside shriek in
terror.

"Think it started raining yet?" asked Ryouga.

There was a monstrous roar, shaking the glass in the building.

"I think so," said Ranma.

*

A large amount of the crowd that was watching scattered.

Akari was screaming for Ryo and was being held back by Ukyou, who
could only do that and stare in disbelief.

Ryo was shocked.

Speechless, really.

It seemed his adversary had suddenly turned into a titanic minotaur-esque
creature, taller than the cafe they had just recently exited.  Even
worse, he was being held tightly in the monster's fist.

That wasn't quite right.

No, that was impossible.

"Erah..."

The creature seemed amused, and snickered in a bull-esque sort of way.

Ryo blinked.  "You... you're Taro?"

The thing seemed to grin.  It had really big teeth.

The old Muhoshin wit finally came back to him.  So did the Muhoshin
knack for scheming.  He had a plan.

"So," said Ryo, finally back to looking snide, "how did this occur?
Your mother get too friendly with the livestock?"

Taro roared angrily, causing the remaining few of the crowds to cover
their ears.  A few windows broke.  Car alarms went off.

Ryo grinned, reaching down swiftly with his hands.  "Die."

The next thing Taro experienced, to his shock, was a fair amount of
pain as his fingernails exploded.  His hand opened in reaction to the
pain and Ryo landed neatly at Taro's feet.

Muhoshin grinned as he landed.  The monster had hooves.

As quick as a snake, Ryo reached out.

*

"You think Taro's done beating Ryo into the ground?" asked Ryouga.

"Still lotsa noise coming from out there," observed Ranma.  "Where'd
Ucchan go?"

"To make sure Akari didn't get in trouble," said Ryouga.  "Hope she's
all right."

"As long as she doesn't try to butt in on the fight," said Ranma.  "I
don't see why..."

He was distracted as a roar bellowed out again.  This time, however,
something was different.

Ranma frowned.  "That... kinda sounded like Taro was hurt, didn't it?"

"Yeah," said Ryouga.  "I wonder wha-"

Ryo, dripping wet, stormed back into the cafe, grabbed his umbrella,
and stormed back out.

"What the heck is going on out there?" asked Ranma.

"Well, let's find out."

*

"You son of a bovine-screwing wench, GET UP!"  Ryo looked down at the
collapsed form of Taro, his feet reduced to two bloody unusable
stumps. 

"Come on, PANTYHOSE!" taunted Ryo.  He held his umbrella up and a
rapier-like end sprang out of it.  Ryo stomped around Taro and slashed
at his limbs whenever Taro tried to lash out at him.  The rain still
fell, mixing with Taro's blood to make a muddy red bog of mud under
Taro's form. 

"PANTYHOSE!  PANTYHOSE!  HA!"  Ryo strode within Taro's arm reach,
then lashed out with his umbrella as Taro's hand lumbered out to swat
him.  Five more fingernails exploded.

"Ryo, that's enough.  Please?" said Akari timidly.

Muhoshin ignored her completely.

"Get up, COW!  GET UP!"

Ryo stomped again towards Taro's feet and gave them several swift
kicks.  Taro reacted with violent thrashing and a bellow of pain and
rage.

"HA!  HA!  FEEL THAT?!"

And then Ryo grinned like the devil.

"How could I forget the HORNS?  HA!"  He stomped around again, easily
avoiding Taro's flailing limbs, but was unable to get past them so as
to detonate Taro's horns.

"He's beat okay?" said Ukyou.  "Stop already!"

Ryo didn't bother to turn around.  "Why, Kuonji, you talk as if it was
human."

"It is," said Ukyou firmly.  "True martial artists don't pick on the
weak."

"Whatever," dismissed Ryo.  He turned his attention back to Taro. 
"Don't you know when to stop moving?" he spat.  The umbrella made a
mechanical noise, and the rapier-like tip was replaced with a blade.
"If I have to cut your arms off first, I will!"

He reared back, getting ready to slash.

A hand grabbed his, stopping the slash.

"That's enough."

Ryo narrowed his eyes.

He turned around.

Hibiki was holding him back.  Behind him, Ranma, Ukyou, Ryuu, Natsumi,
and Kurumi stood ready.

"Hibiki, tell everyone to stay out of my recreation."

"You've beaten him, that's enough," said Ryouga firmly.

"Ryo-kun, please, let's go?" asked Akari, clearly shaken by what just
happened.

Ryouga tightened his grip on Ryo's hand.  They both knew Ryo wouldn't
be able to break that hold.

The blade snapped back into the umbrella.

"Fine," hissed Ryo.  With disturbing abruptness, he quickly moved his
hair back into place with his hands, wiped off the blood on his face
with a hankerchief, popped open his umbrella (despite the fact that he
was already drenched from the rain)  and smiled a pleasant, warm,
smile at Akari.  "Let's go, dearest." 

With Akari by his side, Ryo walked away whistling happily.  Ukyou
stared at them both and frowned deeply.  She -had- to convince Akari
to leave him before things got bad. 

Ranma stared at the mess Taro was.  His fingers and feet were bleeding
steadily, and he was afraid to guess at how much of Taro's feet would
be gone when they poured hot water on him.

"Damn... this is a mess."  Ranma looked to Akane. "Go get Dr. Tofu." 

*

"HYAH!"

*POW*

"GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooowwwwwwf!"

*SPLASH*

"Like that?" asked Kyoko, smiling happily.

Soun smiled, a tad nervously, and nodded.  "That... was very good,
Kyoko-chan.  Yes... very good."

"Wai!  Waiwaiwai!"  The little girl hopped around with glee and far
more energy than Soun felt humans should be with.

She was still bouncing around.

He was tired.

Saotome was unconscious.

"That's... all for today Kyoko-chan."

"Aw.  Okaaay."

The two bowed respectfully to each other, but with Soun keeping a wary
eye on the girl.  Afterwards, they entered the house, welcomed by
Kasumi's call to dinner, the smells of yet another Kasumi Tendo feast,
and the sight of a small gathering of young martial artists... 

"Why, Ranma?!  Why couldn't ya let the guy break your nose?" *SOB*

"Aw, cut it out Hiroshi!"

"Akane-neesan!"

Akane had little time to react before she was bowled over by a
charging Kyoko, tumbling slightly along the floor.  Fortunately, she
was sitting down already, so it wasn't that bad of a tumble.

"Hyperactive little bundle, isn't she?" noted Ukyou.

Soun soon followed and joined the rest at the table.  "So, how was the
tournament today?  My little girl still going strong?"  He laughed and
gave a warm smile to Akane, who returned it with a halfhearted smile
of her own.

"Sorry, dad.  I... was beaten today."

Kyoko gasped.  Soun looked somewhat melancholy for a moment, then
gave Akane a solemn look.  "The path of a true martial artist is one
filled with adversity, but so long as you tried your best, you have
nothing to be ashamed of."

"Y'think he's gonna burst out in tears?" whispered Hiroshi to Daisuke.

"Bet you he won't," whispered Nabiki.

"You're on."

"Well, I did try the best I could," said Akane tenatively.  She knew
what was coming.  So did everyone else.

"I'm so proud of my little girl!"  Soun wrapped Akane in an
affectionate hug and his eyes threatened to burst into tears.

Hiroshi and Nabiki held their breaths.

"Daaaaaaad," said Akane, in that 'Daaaaaad' way that said, basically,
'I'm getting embarrased'.

Soun released Akane, wiping a small tear from his eye.  Immediately
after, Kyoko resumed her glomp.

"Aak!"  *THUD*

"Ha!  Waterworks!" hissed Nabiki to Hiroshi.

"You call that waterworks?!" hissed Hiroshi back.  "That was just a
drop!"

*

Taro was mad.

Sitting in Dr. Tofu's clinic, fingers and feet bandaged, anesthetic
running through his veins to dull the throbbing pain and numb his
mind, Pantyhose Taro still felt rage.

Finally, a chance to get a REAL name, a chance that he had a REAL shot
at, crushed by some anonymous jerk!  How DARE he!!!

"Tough luck, Pantyhose."

Taro was too tired to try and smash him.  A tired, resigned, "what the
hell do you want?" was what he said instead.


"Tsk tsk tsk, you sound so defeated," said Happosai, jumping out from
the window and by Taro's bed.  "That's no way for a martial artist to
talk."

"Shut up, old man, I'm not in the mood for it tonight."

"How bad's the damage?"

"Fingers are okay, just bruised and bleeding a little.  Bones in my
toe are fractured or broken.  I won't be walking for a while."


"I see, I see," said Happosai, nodding sagely.  "That kid's more
vicious than I though.  Didn't think he had it in him."

In a voice that expressed a promise of painful, fiery, bloody
vengeance, Taro asked:

"Who?"

"Hm?"

"Who was he?"

"Ryo Muhoshin, a more recent addition to the neighborhood."  Happosai
took a long drag from his pipe, then blew a few smoke panties.
Wistfully, he watched them drift away.  "Just what an old man like me
needs to keep his edge, don't you think?"

"Is... is that all we are to you?" asked Taro, his voice slurred a
bit.  The sedatives, he observed, were finally hitting hard.  "Just...
just here to... amuse you?"

"When you've lived as long as I have, you end with interesting
hobbies."

"So... my name stays... P... as it is now?"

Happosai mulled it over briefly.  "Hrm.  Yes, I guess so."

"Damn."

"Well, try again next year, hm?"

"Next... year?"

"Yes, the next King of Nerima tournament!  You WILL be there, won't
you?"

"The same... deal?"

"Of course."

"You can count on it."

*

There was a noticeable chill in the air that suddenly swept the Tendo
home.  It began after the door opened.  Of course, Kasumi didn't
notice it.

"Muhoshin-san, hello!"

"Good evening, Kasumi-san."

Ryouga blinked.  "She didn't just say..."

In from the hallway, following behind Kasumi, strode Ryo Muhoshin.  He
still looked a bit soggy, with disturbing red stains remaining on his
shirt and his ever-present umbrella tucked under his arm.  The room
fell silent and still, with all eyes watching him carefully.  Ranma
and Ryouga tensed.  Ukyou scowled.  Hiroshi, Daisuke, and Nabiki kept
a careful watch of his actions as well.

"Kyoko is done for the evening, I trust?" asked Ryo.

"Yes, in fact she had dinner with us."

Ryo smiled.  "You're entirely too gracious, Kasumi-san."

"Let me go get Kyoko-chan, I think she's in the dojo with Akane."

The moment Kasumi left the room, Ryo's face snapped into a cold,
condescending, arrogant mask. He took a moment to slowly look at each
person in the room, examining them like insects under glass.

"My, it seems quiet in here," he said mockingly.  "You'd think someone
almost died."

More silence.

"Well, it is a martial arts tournament.  People get hurt.  Isn't that
right... Kuonji?"

Ukyou stood up, not caring that she wasn't armed.  "Now listen, you-"

It was at this moment that a 12 year old bundle of hyperactivity chose
to shatter the moood.

"Oniiiiiiiiii-SAN!"  *GLOMP*

"Awk!"  -thud-.

"You missed Kasumi-neesan's dinner!" said Kyoko, pouting.

"Ah.  My loss.  Now let me stand, brat."

Kasumi entered, followed by Akane.  Seeing the commotion, Kasumi
smiled and giggled.  She always did so like happy little children
at play.  "Oh my."

Akane, on the other hand, immediately frowned.

Ryo's face morphed once again into that alien look of actual normal
human behaviour and politeness.  "Well, we'll be taking our leave
now.  Come along, child."

After they left, Akane shook her head in disbelief.  "How can a girl
like that be the younger sister of a jerk like him?"

"Well, look at Kasumi and look at you," said Ranma casually.

*WHAM*

"Ooooow..."

*

The walk, he was hoping, was going to be a peaceful, quiet thing.
With a child like Kyoko, he should have had lower hopes.

"What's that stuff on your shirt, oniisan?"

"Blood, Kyoko.  Dried blood."

"Why?"

"I battled a large bull-thing and turned its feet into bloody stumps."

"Oh."  Kyoko blinked repeatedly for a moment.  "So you won?"

"Yes."

"Wai!"

"Wai indeed."  Ryo took a deep breath.  "Well, do you have your
analysis of the Anything Goes style ready?"

"Want ice cream!"

"Er, what?"

"Ice cream!"  Kyoko pointed at a Yojojimbo's 42 Flavors ice cream
parlor.

"Ice cream," said Ryo flatly.

"Mm-hm!"

"Right."


-a few minutes later-


"Happy now?"

Kyoko, with eyes wide and sparkling, looked happily at her
five-scoop ice cream cone.  "Mm-hm!"

"Okay, now abou-"

"I'm tired."

"Eh?  Tired?"

"Mm-hm."

Ryo frowned, then backed away with a slightly agitated look on his
face.  "You are NOT going to ask me to..."

"Please, oniisan?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeeeease."

"No.

"Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseple-"

"OKAY, OKAY, JUST STOP IT!"


-a moment later-


Ryo looked upwards with a scowl on his face.  "Do NOT let that ice
cream drip on me.  Understand?"

"Mm-hm!"

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

"Yep!"

"Right."

This, in his mind, was not good.  He had an image to keep up.  Ryo
Muhoshin, the 'Dapper Destroyer' as the television people were
beginning to call him, giving his little sister a ride on his
shoulders?  He would be terminally embarrased.  Witnesses would have
to be killed.

"Well, how did things go at the Tendo's today?" he asked.

"Went good!"

"Right.  Learn anything interesting?"

"Mm-hm!  The essential philosophy of the Anything Goes School of
Martial Arts!" she said proudly.

"Ah.  Good.  Tell me when we get home, I'm too tired to listen now."

"Oh.  Okay!"

They traveled through city blocks, quiet roads, and serene bridges in
silence.  That was exactly what Ryo was hoping for, and the ice cream
served its purpose, keeping her too busy to chatter away at hyper
speed.


-splat-

"KYOKO."

"Oopsie.  Sorry."

Well, there was a drawback, but...

-splat-

"AHEM."

"Oopsie!"

"Grrr..."

*

ednote: toma scene

"Come away with me," said Prince Toma in a suave (well, as suave as
one can get with a squeaky pubescent voice) manner.  "You'll be the
princess of my kingdom isle."

"Oh Toma," sighed Kurumi.

They held hands.

They embraced.

The bridge exploded under their feet and they tumbled through the air
for what seemed like an eternity until they hit the water below.

"Why'd ya do that?" asked Kyoko, peering curiously over the jagged
edge of what was left of the bridge.

"Stress relief," said Ryo, twirling his umbrella, "just a little
stress relief.  Feel much better now."  He took a moment to kick some
rubble into the water as well, then resumed on his way. 

"Oh.  How'd ya do in the tournament?" she asked.

"Did well."

"As usual?"

"As usual."

"Oh.  Wai!"

"Yes yes yes, wai wai wai."

"Where's Akari-neesan?"

"Don't ask."

"I don't see her a lot," she said, pouting.  "You don't let me talk to
her enough."

"Oh my, really?"

"Mm-hm!"

"Oh well."

"Oniisan?"

"Hm?"

"Could you... um..."

"Say it."

"Could you sing that song for me?"

"_What_?"

"Sing the song you said Mommy used to sing, I wanna hear it again."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pleeease?"

"N... all right, but you have to analyze some extra combat footage of
Ranma and Ryouga for me, okay?"

"Okay.  Sing!"

Ryo sighed.

He took a deep breath.

"Nobody had better be in earshot aside from you."

"Sing!  Singsingsing!"

"Right.  Sing."

"Wai!"

Ryo rolled his eyes up.  "Wai me?"

"Ahem!"

"Ah, right."


o/" Somewhere... beyond the sea...o/"
o/" Somewhere... waiting for me o/"
o/" My lover stands on golden saaaaaaaaands o/"
o/" and watches the ships that go saaaaaaaailing o/"


"Your turn, kid."

Kyoko nodded happily, and belted out in a cheery voice:


o/" Somewhere... beyond the sea o/"
o/" She's there watching for me o/"
o/" if I could fly like birds on high o/"
o/" then straight to her arms I'd go saaaaaailing o/"


"Duet!" yelled Kyoko.

Ryo sighed.  "Right, right."

And together they yowled...

o/" It's faaaaar, beyond the staaaaaars o/"
o/" It's neeeear, beyond the moon o/"
o/" I knoooooooow, beyond a doubt! o/"
o/" My heart will lead me there soon! o/"
o/" We'll meet, beyond the shore o/"
o/" Then we'll kiss, just as before o/"
o/" Happy we'll be beyond the seeeeeeeeeea 
o/" and never again I'll go saaaaiiilin'.  o/"

-end part 2-