Coming soon to a computer screen near you...
  Courtesy of The Sound and The Furry...

                            -==-

[Fade-in.]

[A figure sits, head bent over a computer, look at a screen
 which is the sole source of light.  Because you are looking
 at this mysterious figure from behind, all that you can
 make out is that he has dark, shoulder length hair, and
 wears a baseball cap.]

Figure:  This should guarantee my spot in infamy!  Bwha-ha
         -ha-ha-

[Suddenly, the lights come on.  The figure is revealed to be
 have brown hair and a purple jacket.]

Figure: -ha-huh?

[The figure glances, and the camera moves (slowly - we're
 not paying the cameraman much) to show a second figure by
 the light switch.  This figure has short, blonde hair and
 sports a grey trench.]

Second Figure:  What are you up to this time, Will?

[Will pushes his glasses up and raises his hand in
 greeting.]

Will:  Hey, Eric.  Just the person I wanted to see.  I've
       got working on my submission to The Sound and the
       Furry, but I need your help on it.

Usagi: You mean the mysterious "Figure" wasn't Tuxedo Kamen?
       WAAAAHHHH!!!!

Will & Eric: SECURITY!!

[A large spatula flattens Usagi into a into a pancake which
 is quickly removed.]

Will: Sorry about that folks.

Eric: Anyway, what's it about?  There's no way I'm letting
      you drag me into this without me knowing what 'it' is.

Will: Well, I've got to explain this to Ranma too, so why
      don't you come along so I don't have to explain this
      twice?  Plus, you get the added bonus of watching me
      force Ranma into co-operating.

[Eric grins evilly.]

Eric: Love to.  As long as you don't use a corny sparkly
      change of scene to get us there.

Will(innocently): Would I do something like that?

[One corny sparkly change-of-scene later.]

Eric: Yes.

[Eric glares at Will.]

Will(grinning):  I mean come on, it was an easy shot.

[The camera swings around (quicker this time - we found
 someone willing to work for less) and shows that Eric and
 Will are now in Ranma and Genma's room.  Since it's the
 middle of the might, Ranma-kun and Genma-panda are asleep
 on their futons.]

Will: Aww, nuts!

Eric: "Nuts?"

Will: Hey, this is a family fanfic.  But the real problem is
      that I forgot to get rid of Genma.

Eric: A family fanfic, huh?  [censoredcensoredcensored]

[Will glares at Eric.]

Will: Cut that out and help me figure a was to get Genma
      outta here.

[They ponder for a moment.]

Eric: Why don't you just get rid of him?  You're the one
      writing this thing.

Will: Do you know what the words "plot hole" mean?

Eric: "Star Trek" in most languages.

[They ponder for another moment.]

Eric:  I've got it!

[Eric kneels over beside the sleep Genma and puts his mouth
 near the furry ear.]

Eric(whispering):  Midnight snack.

[Genma, still sleeping, gets up and sleepwalks out of the
 room.]

Will:  That'll do.  Now how to get Ranma up.

[Eric and Will exchange evil grins.  Will pulls a bucket of
 water out of nowhere - ]

Eric: I thought you were worried about plot holes.

Will: This one's O.K.  It's an established plot hole.  Where
      _does_ Akane's mallet come from anyway?

[- and dumps it on Ranma-kun's, er..., Ranma-chan's head.
 Ranma wakes up spluttering.]

R-chan:  You kawaiikune tomboy!  Whaddya - Huh?  Who are you
         two bozos?  The last time some guy appeared in my
         room...  Ahh!!!  It can't be!  Please say neither
         one of you is John Biles.

Eric & Will: Neither one of you is John Biles.

R-chan: That's not what I meant!

[The camera cuts to Eric and Will, and they're wearing dark
 three piece suits.  They pull sunglasses from somewhere and
 slide them on.]

Eric: He's Will.

Will: He's Eric.

Eric: And we're with The Sound and The Furry.

Will: Anyway, I've got a crossover for you to star in.

R-chan(suspiciously):  Do I end up in a Sailor fuku?

[As the camera cuts back to Will and Eric, they're back in
 their normal clothes, without sunglasses.]

Will: Gods, no!  That's been done before.  I believe it's
      time for something completely different.

Eric: You wouldn't.

Will: I would and I will.

C-Ko: Didn't you already say your name?

Will, Eric, and R-chan: SECURITY!!

[A large spatula flattens C-Ko into a into a pancake which is
 quickly removed.]

Will: Sorry about that folks.

R-chan: What were you two talking about anyway?

Eric: You mean you didn't catch the reference?  Here, I'll
      give you another clue.  "It's...."

[Silence...]

R-chan: Yes, go on.

Eric: That's it.

R-chan: But you haven't given me the clue yet.

Eric: Yes I have, "It's..." the clue.

R-chan: What's the clue?

Eric: "It's!"

R-chan: It's what?

Eric: "It's..." is the clue!

R-chan: Isn't that redundant?

Will: Who's on first base?

Eric: Not Ranma.

R-chan: Hey!

Eric: I mean, come on.  Don't tell me you haven't heard of
      Monty Python.

[Ranma-chan pales visibly.]

R-chan: M-m-m, m-m-m, m-m-m -

Will: Yes!  Monty Python's Quest For Akane!

[Ranma faints.]

Eric: He took that better than I expected.

Will: So you'll help then?

Eric: Of course, what are conspirators for?

[Fade-out.]

                        THE BEGINNING

                            -==-

Monty Python's Quest For Akane!

The first installment coming next week....
   whether you want it or not.