Hi Jeanne!

On Monday, October 27, 1997 4:33 PM, Jeanne Hedge wrote:

He put humor in *her*; she was so serious and fearful before he came
into her life.  Before he *became* her life, before he put life into
her.  He notes that it has been eighteen months since they have been
married, but she counts time differently; it has been thirty-five
months since they met, thirty-five months since her life began.

Um...  I'm not sure whose voice this is here.  If it's his, this
sounds like he's on a major ego trip. If it's hers, doesn't she have
any self-esteem?

It is hers, and she did have a major self-esteem problem before he met 
her.

Her life began when they met?  Sure, you're speaking
metaphorically (I *hope* you're speaking metaphorically ^_^),

Absolutely.  I am the *last* person who will write stories like, "She 
was nobody before she met a man."

A bit pushy, isn't he?  The lady has said she's not ready. What's
the rush?

Well, it was necessary to set up the conflict.  And he has to be 
non-perfect, too.  :)

Sorry, they all are sorry, as if it were their fault, but is her
fault,
it is her *fault*, a fundamental flaw in the way she was made.

I *was* thinking that this could be Ranma and Kentaro

Heh, Nick said the same thing.  I'm not as obsessed with the R/K thing 
as people seem to think I am.  :)

"Oh!"  His voice is full of comprehension, of sudden understanding.
"Is this about your secret?"

This line of dialogue sounds *really* goofy.

Well, yes, deliberately so.  The whole fanfic is supposed to be a bit 
over-the-top.

Our children will have no taint, I'll make sure of that."

My, that's mighty big of him.  IMO he's coming across as awfully
pompous here.

Really?  Hmm.  I'll try to work on it.

I'm getting REALLY irritated with her too.  To me, she's coming 

across

as a melodramatic whiny-wimp (oh, I can't live without him... isn't 

it

wonderful that he's *so* forgiving of my congenital defect... perhaps
I should just kill myself...)

:D  :D

(If this wasn't a Lawson fic, I'd have it in the trash by now
because these characters give me no reason to be interested in them)

Hmm... that a compliment or a condemnation?  Or both at once?  ^_^

I think this is WAY over the top.

You nailed it.  It's supposed to be.  That's the style I was going for.

"To bear my daughter."

oh no.....  Ikuko and Kenji?

Dingdingdingdingding.

Queen Serenity is a manipulative little bitch, isn't she?

<nod>  I don't much care for what we've seen of her character in the 
anime.  Puts her kingdom first, her family second.  "The Price of 
Heaven" spells out my opinion of Queen Serenity.  It ain't exactly 
complimentary.  :)

You must show the strength you showed tonight during the
times to come, and let our daughter do what needs to be done."

Excuse me?!  *Strength*?  That night?  From Ikuko?  WHEN?

Well, she had just, the paragraph before the previous, decided that she 
had to tell her husband, no matter the cost, and that she would find a 
way to live on despite the worst life can send her.

But that wasn't what bothered me about his fic. These characters are
so irritating (as I've said many times by this point) that I didn't
really care what happened to them. I guess I'm going to be in the
minority who didn't like it.

No prob.  Thanks for the feedback, Jeanne.  I really appreciate it.  :)

Jeanne Hedge

-Richard
sterman@sprynet.com

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