This chapter is a bit of an experiment.  It uses events from the second DH
graphic novel.  I supposed OMB is now turning into a sort of
alterna-verse, in a way.  I did heavily reference the manga, but I don;t
think it detracts from the fiction any.

**********

Oh! My Brother!

Chapter 7


All Oh! My Goddess (Ah! My Goddess, Aa! Megami-sama, whatever) characters
owned by Kosuke Fujishima.  I'm poor, don't sue me.

***

I love my schedule.  Tuesdays and Thursdays especially.  Sure, I have to
get up bright and early, but at least I get the afternoon off. 
Unfortunately, I have these three sisters who are suffering under the
delusion that this means I'm all theirs.  

And my classmates wonder why I laugh when they say I'm lucky to be related
to those three.

Somehow, I got roped into going to watch another of those races the idiots
at Keiichi's Motor Club participate in.  Before you ask, no, I don't think
much of that club.  Call me silly, but I believe before you go designing
vehicles you should have at least ONE mechanical engineer on the staff. 
Or one Skuld, but they don't let her at the blueprints for some reason.

So while Keiichi parked his bike, I landed, Skuld hopped out of a puddle I
made with a water bottle and Urd stepped out of the portable TV I brought.
 The girls love this little arrangement.  I have to admit, it does bring a
whole new meaning to the phrase 'at the last second.'  I just what to know
exactly when I volunteered to be their chauffeur, as it were.

We met up with the lovebirds (I don't know WHY they blush when I call them
that) and walked through the crowds, heading towards the Motor Club tent. 
This was my first introduction to some of the stuff the girls have to go
through every time they go out in public.

"All right!  Belldandy's here!"  She smiled kindly and nodded to the men
who greeted her.  I growled at them.

"Urd's here too! Yow!"  Urd, well, acted like Urd.  Somehow the word flirt
doesn't come close to the way she acts around men.  I would have growled
at them, but it hurts Urd's feelings when I do that.

"Angel and Morisato too.  Hmm...too bad."  Keiichi grumbled while Skuld
and I laughed.  He was dating one of the most beautiful women on campus,
and he expected to be popular with the guys?  Not bloody likely.

"CHRIS!"  

I stopped, stunned, and looked down at Skuld.  "When did I get a fan
club?"  I asked her.  She shrugged, and pointed off to the side.  Looking
in the direction she indicated, I had just enough time to notice a
policeman's uniform before I was...well...glomped on.

Look, you find a single word to describe what happens when an attractive
woman jumps at you, knocks you off your feet, and initiates lip-lock.  Get
back to me, I want to know.  Until then, I'm going to call it glomping.

To say my thought processes were in disarray would be an understatement. 
To say I was frigging confused, however, would be more or less on the
mark.  It took what felt like forever for some observations to filter into
my brain.  Feminine curves.  Very nice ones.  Soft arms that were stronger
than they looked.  Red-brown hair.  A tongue like a battering ram.

Brain to body:  *Hey, it's Ami.  And man, can she kiss!*

Body to brain: *Congratulations, dimwit, I knew that.  Now, shut up, I'm
enjoying this.*

I had that little internal argument going on for a while, until they
finally agreed that as fun as this was, I kind of needed to breathe. 
Taking Ami by the shoulders, I pushed her away from me.  "Hi Ami," I
gasped.  "Greet all your friends that way?"

"Just the ones I really like," she cheerfully replied, and then a spark
lit in her eyes.  "Besides, you're not just my friend, you're my
boyfriend."  She rolled off me and got to her feet.  I looked at the sky,
or rather, what I could see of it though the gawkers.  

Where exactly did Urd get that camcorder from?

"All right, show's over," Ami commanded, her affectionate nature submerged
under a mask of authority.  "Come on, move!  Can't a girl say hi to her
boyfriend?"  I got to my feet and sighed.

"AMI," I whined softly, so what no one else could hear.  I'm good at
whining.  I spend long hours practicing my whine.  It's an art form, you
see.  "I am NOT your boyfriend!  Remember the third piece of your little
wish?"  She looked at me, and I saw a rather disconcerting change.  Ami
the cop becomes Ami the girlfriend.  Creeped me out.  "How can you call me
your boyfriend when Rachel's involved in this too?"

Poor Rachel.  We hadn't even gone on our first date, and the poor girl was
already involved with me by decree of Yggdrasil.  Sometimes life sucks.  I
expect that's somewhere in the source code of the universe too.

"I'm hedging my bets," she said seriously.  I decided not to argue with
her at that point.  Something about her demeanor told me it would be a bad
plan.

Time to change the subject. "So you're a cop?"  I REALLY have to read that
dossier.  "What are you doing here?"

"Crowd control," she responded.  She yelled over to one of the other cops
that she was going on break, and we walked after the goddesses, while I
tried to reconcile the image of the overly affectionate girl I knew with
the image of a cop dealing with a rowdy crowd of race-goers.  A girl her
height, no less.

Look, we've established I'm obsessed with height, haven't we?

We reached the booth, and I was struck by a rather amusing sight.  Tamiya
and Ootaki were staring slack-jawed at the booth bunnies that were
wandering around, and Keiichi was trying very hard not to.  He was
succeeding, too.  Of course, Belldandy's painful grip on his ear might
have had something to do with that.

I'd also like to point out I had enough control of myself to NOT stare.  I
was rather proud of that.  Especially since I had the feeling that if I
had stared, I would have been dealing with a rather angry policewoman.  

Maybe I should explain to you all my definition of girlfriend - the female
you report to.  I've found it makes dealing with women so much easier when
I keep that in mind.  It also helps me avoid doing things that might get
me in trouble.

After the guys regained control of their libidos (in other words, several
minutes later), we went out to the pit area, where they had the go-kart
ready for Belldandy to race.  Something bothered me about that kart, and
it took me a few minutes to figure it out.  It looked...right.  Well
built.  Not a bit of the usual Motor Club jerry-rigging.

"Hey, Tamiya," I called the giant over.  "Did you guys build that thing
from scratch?"

"Uhh, nope," he admitted.  "Bought a kit.  Real good one too."  Well, that
explains that.

I went and sat down out of the way with Skuld and Ami.  Keiichi helped
Belldandy into the kart, and gave her a quick pep-talk.  I saw a couple
Americans show up and razz the two.  "Who's that?" I wondered out loud.

"Diana Lockheed and David Proter.  He's one of the top stock car racers in
the US, she's the champion of the US go-kart circuit," Ami answered.  I
raised an eyebrow at her, and she blushed a little.  "Well, I kind of know
a bit about the racing scene."

"Right," I said condescendingly.  "And you just HAPPENED to be on duty for
this little event."  She blushed a little more and I sighed.  *Oh well, so
she's got one little fault,* I mused to myself.  Skuld caught my glance
and made a show of rolling her eyes.  *Man, I'm going to have such fun
when she starts dating.*  "So how'd two pros get in with an amateur
event?"

Ami shrugged and made hushing noises at me as the race began.  We watched
as Belldandy pulled ahead to an early lead, then spun out on the first
turn.  Awfully amateurish error to make, in my opinion.  "Skuld," I asked
the teen beside me, "does Belldandy know how to drive?"  Skuld shook her
head vigorously, and I groaned.  "This is going to be fun."

Belldandy got back on the track, and was about two car-lengths behind that
Yankee girl (look, I'm Canadian, all Americans are Yankees in my books). 
She seemed to be doing a little better, but she wasn't gaining much on the
other driver.  As the two rounded a curve, I realized why.  Belldandy was
copying the other driver!

Quickly, I murmured a spell under my breath.  "Glow with rays for only my
sight, let all magic be revealed with light!"  Neat spell that.  A sort of
grey film dropped over my view, and I looked around.  There was Ami,
beside me, a soft white glow around her - the effects of her wish.  Skuld
was glowing a brilliant blue. Looking down at my hands, I saw I was doing
the same, but there were flickers of white running through the glow.  The
spell was working, so I took a look at Belldandy.

The girl was glowing blue as I expected, and there were a few streaks of
white, but around her there was a faint aura of purple.  "That cheat," I
breathed.  "I never knew she had it in her."  The purple glow told me
Belldandy was using one of her inherent abilities - clairvoyance.  By
watching what Lockheed was doing, she was able to do the exact same thing!

As they came upon the final lap, Belldandy pulled ahead to win the race. 
I went over to congratulate her (after being put through Ami's version of
a goodbye - she had to go back to work), and caught the end of a
conversation between Tamiya and Keiichi.  Something about the rather
extravagant expenditures Tamiya had made for the race.  Belldandy caught
the end of that speech too, and her cheerful disposition was dashed away.

"Nice work, Bell-chan," I said, and she gave me a wan little smile, and
went to wish Keiichi good luck in his heat.  He took it with little grace,
and climbed into the kart for his heat.  *What's his problem?* I wondered.
 Belldandy went to change, her face etched with worry.  She returned a few
moments later dressed in tights, a short skirt, and a leather jacket.  It
looked like something Urd would wear.

Speak of the devil, and she appears.  Urd came up and congratulated her
sister with a knowing smile on her face.  My turn. "You," I sternly said
to Belldandy, "cheat.  Don't you feel even a little guilty?"  She blushed
a little.

"Oh, come on, 'Niichan," Urd defended, "she was just keeping the playing
field level."

"Yeah, Oniichan, Belldandy didn't do anything wrong," Skuld said from
behind me.

Three against one, I was in trouble.  Too bad I didn't see it.  "You have
GOT to be kidding me!  And how exactly was that Lockheed woman supposed to
have a chance?  She wasn't competing against Belldandy the woman, she was
competing against Belldandy the goddess!"

Belldandy looked down at the ground, and spoke softly.  "Kei-chan needed
me to win."  Leave it to a female to ruin a perfectly good argument.  

I threw up my hands in disgust, and went to watch Keiichi's race, trailed
by the goddesses.  Keiichi was doing great, coming up fast from the back
of the ranks.  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a flash.  Looking
over, I saw Aoshima signaling someone with a mirror.  Almost immediately,
Urd started yelling about some jerk in kart 666.

I whipped by gaze back to the race, and saw Keiichi being harassed by some
jerk.  The guy was more interested in screwing up Keiichi than he was in
driving a good race.  Conclusion: Aoshima paid somebody off.  *One of
these days I'm going to be able to prove his little games and then I'm
going to...well, I'm not sure what I'll do, but it'll be nasty,* I
promised myself.

Sometimes, Urd is brilliant.  This was not one of those times.  She
flipped Belldandy's skirt up 'for inspiration.'  It inspired Keiichi all
right.  It inspired him to drive straight off the side of the track.   On
the upside, the guy in kart 666 also went off the track.  The rest of the
Motor Club went into gales of laughter, and even I snickered, more at the
cause of the accident than the accident itself.

Don't get me wrong, I'd be the first (OK, maybe the second, after Keiichi)
to say that Belldandy is beautiful.  But grown men being mesmerized by the
sight of Belldandy in tights is a little ridiculous, if you ask me.  Am I
the only male in Japan who can control himself?

Keiichi climbed back into his car, and went to continue the race, but he
was wandering all over the track.  He seemed to be fighting the kart every
inch of the way.  "Oh man," Ootaki groaned, "his alignment's all screwed
up!  And we don't have time for a pit in!"

"Only one thing to do, sis," Urd said with a gleam in her eye.  She and
Belldandy began to chant.  "Wild rampaging steed...Let thy wounded
forelegs be healed!"  I felt a tug on my jacket, and I looked down into
Skuld's panicked face.

"Quick," she said, "Take cover!"  She began to drag me off to hid behind a
nearby stack of hay bales (What do you think they use at go-kart tracks?).
 "Urd's improvising, and that's trouble."

I gave Skuld an amused glance.  "You are hardly one to talk, Skuld."  She
returned an irritated glare.

The two goddesses were still chanting.  "Calm thy raging heart and
race...Forward, forward, o'er the road beyond."  Belldandy stopped, and
staggered a bit, looking drained.

"And let thyself run...Wild and free!"  Urd finished, pointing at the
kart.

"Urd no!  What did you say?" Belldandy demanded.  Urd said nothing, and
merely looked in satisfaction at the kart and Keiichi.

I followed her gaze, and saw the kart zooming around the track at
impossible speeds.  Go-karts just don't go that fast!  Keiichi was
screaming bloody murder, and the other drivers could only look on in shock
as Keiichi's kart passed them like they were standing still.

"Chris, we have to do something!"  Skuld insisted.

"What can I do?" I asked her, and winced as Keiichi rocketed around a
corner.  The way he was being tossed about, I was hurting just from
watching it.  "If I try to pull him out, either I'll get clobbered or
he'll be killed.   Basic physics, remember?"  It was a moot point anyway,
as Keiichi whipped over the finish line and went on to crash into some
more hay bales.  "Yeesh," I hissed.  "That's gotta hurt."

I was about to go see if Keiichi needed help, when I felt a strong grip on
my arm, and I was whirled around.  I registered Rachel's presence mere
moments before she would up and slapped me.  "Playboy!" she growled, and
ran off.

I held my cheek and and watched her disappear.  "Oh hell," I cursed, and
looked down at my sister.  "See ya later, Skuld," I told her as I went to
follow Rachel.

I'm had SO much explaining to do...and I didn't even know where to start. 
How do you tell a girl the guy who asked her out is a god?


--
Christopher "God-boy" Angel
cja124@mail.usask.ca      http://www.engr.usask.ca/~cja124
"Love is stronger than justice."
-The Munificent Seven by Sting