Prefectural High School Earth Defense Force:
     The Tomobiki Incident

written by Kevin Eav

Urusei Yatsura is copyright Shogakukan, AnimEigo, Rumiko Takahashi, and
everyone else.  Prefectural High School Earth Defense Force is
copyright... someone.  It's not mine. 

Author's Notes:
<text> indicates thoughts.
If this seems insane and silly... it's supposed to be.

Chapter 1: Clash!  The Phone Pole Team Relocates!

     "Tomobiki High School, in Tomobiki-cho.  A quiet, three-story
building, lonely clock tower perched and slumbering.  This school is the
most feared in all Japan.  Unruly teachers are sent here to be
disciplined."

     "Well, I guess it's time."  *ring* *ring*

     On the other end of the line, a calm, almost tired voice sounded.
"Moshi moshi?  This is the Principal of Tomobiki High School.  Who am I
speaking with?"

     "WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! *ahem* ... Hello.  I am <insert name here>,
the leader of the Phone Pole Team.  I have called to inform you that we,
an evil organization dedicated to world conquest, have recently relocated
our headquarters to Tomobiki-cho.  We intend to start our conquest with
your school."

     "Ahhh.. I see... young man, are you sure that you want to do this?
We have many fine students here, and I'm sure you know of the existence
of the Mendou Defense Force... We--"

     "Enough! Look out your window."

     Obediently, the Principal wandered over to his window, phone in
hand.  "What am I supposed to be seeing?"  

     "Are you sure you want to know?"  

     "Yes, of course I do."

     "Very well then... it's... YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

     In reaction to the loud scream, the Principal simply held the phone
away from him.  Moments later, he heard the *piff* of a tennis ball
hitting the side of the school.  A look down revealed the yellow orb on
the ground.  

     "Aaah, kouchou, gomen!"  A brown-haired girl came into view and
picked up the ball.

     The Principal set the phone on the windowsill and waved.  "Daijoubu,
Miyake-san!"  Turning away, he looked at the clock. "Ara... it's almost
time for tea.  Kotatsu-Neko-san... where are you?"

     Forgotten, the insane cackle of the leader of the Phone Pole Team
continued until his ten minutes were up. *click*

^_^

     Ataru was aware of none of this, as he strolled into the classroom
the next morning.  <Oooo... Shinobu-chan, when did you start doing your
hair like that? Aaaah, Iyanako-chan, kawaii!  Gyohohohoho... you're so
perky, Yuki-chan!>  

     A sweet, lovely voice chimed in from his right. "O-ha-yo, Dahling!"
This joyful sound was accompanied by two slim, smooth arms wrapped around
his chest.

     "Lum."  Ataru closed his eyes in irritation. "Don't be so familiar,
we're in public."  Quickly, he pushed her away and slid over to Shinobu.
"Shin-o-bu-chan!  You're looking lovely today, let me give you a kiss!"
By the time he had completed the sentence, his arms were locked in a Jaws
of Life grip around the young girl.

     Shinobu was trembling.  Shaking, in fact.  "ATARU......"  She
reached back. "SHI-NE!!!!!" *BOOM* Ataru flew gracefully, his mouth
spread into a goofy grin, out the window.  "Shinobu-chan, sukida!!!!"

     Immediately, Megane, Chibi, Perm, and Kakugari cheered, waving fans. 
Mendou shook his head. "That fool Ataru... a man should be more suave
when approaching a woman."  Lum flew out the window, hoping to catch
Ataru before he could recover.

     Thusly, only the Stormtroopers, Mendou, and Shinobu were present for 
one of the most shocking events to hit Tomobiki since the day the Oni
tried to invade Earth.

     
<Author's notes:more to come. Much much more. ^_^>


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