rr568@bard.edu (Roy Rim)
A Note From Kensu:
What is this? Why did we do this? What is that stuff in the inside of
Twinkies? This header will answer this question.
1. This is the result of a collabaration between four of the best known
Ranma fanfic authors on the 'net;. Me, Kensu, who wrote Mamono Hunter
Ranma 1/2 and Original Flavor. Stefan "TwoFlower" Gagne, who wrote such
memorable fanfics as "Wicked Garden" and "Ministry of Confusion". The
Legenedary John Walter Biles, who stunned the world with "Putting your
heart in the right place" "Elseworlds" "Still Waters Run Deep" and many
MANY others. And Roy Rim, who graced the world with the
lemon-psychological thriller "Split Personalites"
2. Why did we do this? Kensu (me) thought up the fact that there has
never been a Ranma 1/2 Halloween episode. Which isn't really that
strange, but I thought that it was about time someone wrote one. After
reading the Ninja High School 1995 Yearbook, I thought it would be nice
to have some of the more famous Ranma 1/2 authors write a story based on
Halloween. Thus, I sent out E-Mails. The only authors who never replied
were Christian Gadekan and Karl Rim. Well, maybe next year. :) (Does
anyone know Karl Rim's updated address?)
3>It's lard. No kidding, it's lard. OH NO, WE'RE GOING TO GET SUED! :)
]
Ahh....I'm starting to have C++ flashbacks. :)
Blahs: Hm...while writing this, a friend had just returned
from a trip across China, all by himself, and had a couple
of funny stories to tell. Here is one that I thought fit
for the occasion.
He was near some mountain, forgot the name, and had
decided that he was going to explore it. It was raining so
he put on his blue raincoat and left. He asked some monk
for directions and the monk had told him that he didn't
want
to go there. After a small argument, the monk capitulated
and pointed out a path. He followed that path and a little
later, he was lost. He had lost the path. (Actually, the
path ends anyway.)
Hours later, starving, he sees a peasant walking a
bull
through the fog. He called out to the peasant, who turned
towards him, then turned back and began to walk away.
My friend, of course, followed him since he had begun
to believe that he would die soon.
The man saw him following him and began to run!!
My friend ran after!! The peasant eventually lost
him.
An hour later, my friend found his way to a small
shrine. There, after the monks fed him and let him dry his
clothes out, he met another American traveller and my
friend
told the other American the story about the peasant.
The American guy pointed at his raincoat and said, "He
thought you were an evil spirit."
Ranma 1/2 Halloween Fan-Fic
"Halloween? What's that?" Ranma put down the card.
"It's some American celebration based on ghosts and
stuff. People wear costumes and have parties and eat lots
of candy." Akane reread the card they received from Kuno.
Ranma's eyes widened at the mention of candy. "A lot
of candy?" Already Ranma's eyes were filled with visions
of
western sweets and food that he's never tasted before and
knew would be so good as to be like heaven.
"Supposedly. Kids go about collecting candy from
different houses. I wonder why the Kuno residence is
giving
a Halloween party?"
"Does it matter? He's going to give out food and
candy, right? And all we have to do is dress up!!"
Akane sighed. "Is that all you ever think about?"
She
took a look at Ranma's glazed eyes and sighed again.
"Well,
we have to make costumes by tonight. It should be fun, I
heard Kuno invited everybody!"
P-chan oinked from Akane's arms.
Ranma awoke from his daze with a frown and looked at
Ryouga, "No you don't," said Ranma, poking P-chan in the
nose.
P-chan took a bite.
"What do you mean by that, Ranma?"
"Oh, nothing."
"Sister, your plan is devious, as usual." Kuno lay
down the picture album, gently, as one does a new born
baby.
And to Kuno, that album was like a baby to him. So much of
his life went into it. 50000 yens worth.
"HOhohoHOHOhoho," Kodachi looked up from her cooking
then placed the cake in the oven. "At last, brother, we
can
achieve both our goals at the same time. The invitation to
the Tendo's residence should insure both our loves to
arrive."
"But, sister, did you have to invite everyone?"
"Of course, brother, then it wouldn't look legit."
"Halloween?" Shampoo looked up from the ramen, which
has become an almost methodical process.
Mousse held out the card he had just taken out from
the
envelope. "It's a party being held at the Kuno residence."
Mousse made sure he read it right, then checked to make
sure
his glasses were on.
"Shampoo no go to drug party." (Halloween sounds a
lot
like Heroin in Mandarin). [Author's note: We actually had
to explain Halloween in China and somebody almost called
the
police on us.]
"No, Shampoo. Halloween. Halloween. It is an
American Party. She mei go ren de tiao wu. We have to
dress up."
"Oh, Shampoo love to go!!"
The hours pass as everyone excitedly awaits the hour
to
arrive. The Kuno residence is a giant mansion done in
traditional style that generally the well to do live in.
Also the amount of money that Kuno has been rumored to
waste
on lousy photos of Ranma insures that the party (which
everyone had already figured out the real reason for) would
be done in grand style.
"Hello. Hello. Hello." Kodachi bowed each time as
the guests arrived and instructed the people where to go to
sit. Kodachi was dressed all in black like a kuroko in
Kabuto and had the veil down in front of her face. She
frowned under the veil as Tendo Akane arrived.
"Did you have to choose such a disgusting outfit?"
Akane frowned at Ranma-chan.
"What? Don't you think I look cute?" Ranma-chan was
dressed in the black bunny outfit which she had used from
time to time. Ranma had spent hours dreaming of different
foods and when he finally got down to making a costume, it
was too late to make one. "Besides, I didn't have anything
else."
"Pervert," said Akane under her breathe. Akane was
dressed in a suit, wearing men shoes, a top hat, had
painted
a mustache on, and carried a cane. She thought it was a
good costume. Ranma had already suffered the consequence
of
telling her how appropriate he thought it was.
Ranma-chan rubbed her bruise.
"Well, I think it's cute," said Nabiki, she had on an
American suit from the 1800's and was wearing a white wig
and also was carrying a fake axe that squeeked each time
you
hit something with it.
"Hello," said Kodachi, none to pleasantly. "How can
brother stand the sight of this disgusting girl," she
thought.
"Hello, Kodachi," they answered recognizing her voice.
"Where is Ranma-sama?"
"Oh, he couldn't make it," said Ranma-chan.
"Why that..." Kodachi fumed to herself zapping evil
glances toward the evil pig-tailed girl, then appeared to
calm down and said, "Oh, too bad. The main room is down
the
hall."
"Come on, lets see the party!!" Nabiki tapped Ranma
on
the shoulder.
Squeek-Squeek!!
Kodachi got out of the way as the group pushed through
followed by a drooling panda.
"Is this the Kuno residence?" Ryouga was dressed as a
demon. He had left the Tendo's early and after an hour
decided that this house might be it.
An unfamiliar woman opened the door.
"AAAHHHHH!!!!" The woman slammed the door.
"Brother!! Brother!!" Kodachi ran into the room
crying. "Ranma-sama didn't come!!" She began to pound on
Kuno's arm, hard.
"Sister, sister!! Stop would you!!" Kuno was pinning
up his hair like the old samurai's used to and instead
poked
himself in the head. "STOP IT!!"
WACK!!!
"Don't yell at your younger sister like that!!
Especially when she's suffering." Kodachi continued to
pound on her unconscious brother's arm. "My plan has
failed!! My plan has failed, so early!!"
Kuno woke up nursing a rather large bruise. "Hmph.
Has the pig-tailed girl arrived?"
"Ooh...that evil girl. She probably has him all
locked
up somewhere. See."
They both turned toward a set of monitors. Each
monitor showed a different area of the party. One monitor
Kuno already had his head glued to.
"Oh, the PIG-TAILED GIRL!!" Kuno spazzed for a
moment,
eyes bulging, lips shivering as drool drooled down his
chin,
fingers twitching haphazardly gripping the monitor, as he
zoomed the camera in on Ranma-chan. Slightly recovering
and
holding in his insane laughter, Kuno reached for a set of
buttons in front of the monitors. "Gotcha!!" he yelled and
pushed the wrong button.
"Nabiki?" Akane turned around. "That's funny, she
was
right her a second ago."
"Damn!! Damn!!" Kuno fumed. "Argh, guess I should
go
down and free Tendo Nabiki." Kuno left the room and left
Kodachi, who had opened a large box and was putting
together
something large, to her crying.
"Ranma!! Ranma!!" Shampoo was dressed in a western
wedding dress and pounced on Ranma-chan.
"Shampoo!! Calm down," said Ranma-chan blushing as
their chests collided.
"Husband to be like dress?" asked Shampoo.
Mousse sighed then walked up to the two as Akane began
to slam Ranma with a hammer. Mousse had on a magician's
outfit, coat tails, cane, and top hat. Mousse and Akane
stared at each other.
Both popped flowers out of their hands and gave it to
each other with a smile.
The party room was large and decorated with black and
orange. Seats and tables were arranged everywhere as was a
large table in the back, filled with food. Everywhere,
people from Furinkan high school and other places, danced
and talked, and other party stuff.
"Is this the Kuno residence?"
"AAAAHHHH!!!" SLAM!!
"Where am I?" Nabiki had landed on a large pink bed
shaped like a heart. She looked around her. She was in a
large room with soft corners painted in white. Pink
draperies hung over the bed, as they did elsewhere around
the room.
"I'm sorry," said Kuno entering through a door in
front
of Nabiki. "I had not meant to take you."
"Kuno-chan. What's the meaning of this?"
"Just an accident. If you would follow me, I'll take
you back to the party."
Nabiki got off the bed, "Whose room is this, anyway?"
"Oh...the pig-tailed girl." Kuno turned away, a brief
flash of a dream he had hit him, as he drooled. He wiped
it
away with a handkerchief which had come into much use
tonight already.
Nabiki held in a laugh as she followed Kuno outside
then said, "Oh, Kuno. We didn't see you at the party.
What's going on?"
"I was going to arrive fashionably late, as expected."
"Kuno, this is your party."
"So?"
"The host is expected to be there."
"So?"
"Forget it, Kuno-chan. Just lead the way."
The party was in full swing as they arrived. The
Kuno's had hired a nice band to play various songs.
Several
couples were dancing.
"So, how are things at the Tendo dojo?" Mousse
glanced
over at the back table where Shampoo was feeding
Ranma-chan.
"Oh, they're ok." Akane glanced back too.
Seeing that Ranma was busy, Akane had asked Mousse to
dance. Akane had no idea why but knew that there would be
nothing wrong with it. Besides, she saw other people who
just met each other, dancing together.
Neither having any real feelings toward each other,
saw
the humor in them both dancing. Neither felt awkward at
all.
Mousse sighed again. "I was hoping that Shampoo would
like to dance with me."
"Yeah," said Akane glancing back at the table as they
both circled around, "I know what you mean."
"That girl...is going to die today," whispered Kodachi
to herself from the ceiling, her kuroko costume easily
hiding her in the shadows, "HOHOHOoops!!" Kodachi held her
mouth and looked below her hoping no one noticed.
"Is this the Kuno residence?"
"AAAHHHH!!!" SLAM!!!
Shampoo had been surprised at the way Ranma was
dressed, but Shampoo didn't care. She was going to get
Ranma anyway she could. "Here, Ranma." Shampoo held out
the cup of punch.
Ranma took it and drank it in one gulp, not taking her
eyes off Akane and Mousse. For some reason, her appetite
had lost her.
Shampoo smiled then said to herself,
"Great-grandmother
gave me secret Bai-Jiu (Chinese white lightning) that so
sweet yet very potent. Great-grandma say for Shampoo to
use
old get drunk method." She had poured in the whole bottle
into the punch bowl. Shampoo handed Ranma another one.
"OK, girl," said Ukyou to herself, "this costume ball
is the perfect opportunity to grab Ranma." Ukyou too was
dressed in a sexy bunny outfit and had blushed the whole
way
there. The outfit left almost nothing to the imagination
and Ukyou was definitely not used to that. She could feel
her breasts bounce almost freely compared to the way she
usually had them bound. "But lets see Ranma's eyes after
he
sees this!!" She almost giggled at the thought, Ranma had
huge eyes!!
Ukyou walked through the open door and followed the
signs with pictures of grinning pumpkins to the party
doors.
"Ranchan!?"
Ranma looked up from watching Akane dance and her eyes
bulged. "Utchan!?"
They both burst out laughing.
Shampoo fumed holding a piece of cake.
"Oh, well," said Ukyou to herself, then out loud to
Ranma, "C'mon, Ranchan, let's dance!!" At that, she
grabbed
Ranma's hand and dragged her to the dance floor, pushing
pleasantly surprised Furinkan boys out of their way.
Ranma blushed, unsure what to do. Ranma never danced
before, plus her stomach began to feel a little wheezy, but
for some reason, she wanted to. As the seconds passed and
everyone around her spun and moved and Ukyou kept grabbing
her hands and moving them, the feeling grew and grew and
Ranma began to dance, moving her hips slightly to the left
over and over, then to the right, and slowly began to raise
her arms, as did Ukyou. Ranma had no idea that her face
was
red as Christmas.
Pretty soon, the both of them were dancing furiously,
Ukyou laughing along with Ranma, who kept closing her eyes.
A space cleared for the two as everyone else watched.
Akane took off her hat, the inside lining was
scorched.
She had to keep herself from throwing her way into the
circle and kicking the living crud out of Ranma.
Mousse had noticed that Shampoo was alone and excused
himself.
Akane continued to watch the two dance and attract
everyone's attention. She felt jealous, but another
jealousy too.
"AKANE!!" Akane saw Kuno just in time and tripped
him.
"Hey, Akane," Nabiki walked up and tapped her slightly
on the head with the axe. Squeek. "Wow, watch them go!"
Akane turned back to the two dancing. "He really is
sick, isn't he!? Look at how he is dancing!!"
"Wow, sexy, no?"
Akane blushed. "Oneechan!!"
"Akane, why don't you join in, c'mon, I'll give you
500
yen."
"Oneechan!"
"Are you chicken?"
"Is this the Kuno residence?"
No one answered. Ryouga heard lots of laughing and
loud music. "Did I make it?"
Akane tapped the two boys on the shoulder, the hat was
back in her hand and she had pocketed the 500 yen. The
boys
stepped aside and tapped the others next to them. Soon, a
way opened up to the cleared circle and Akane smoothly
walked through. At the edge of the circle, she tapped her
cane on the floor and bowed. Everyone cheered. Then Akane
tossed her hat over the crowd toward Nabiki, who caught it,
and joined the two girls dressed in the bunny outfits, who
laughed and began to dance around her as Akane began to
strut to the center. The two laughed again and were on
opposite sides of Akane, who held her cane in front of her
and was looking nonchalantly away, and the two slid their
bodies down and up Akane's. Akane appeared to notice them,
tossed her cane toward Nabiki, and began to dance.
Akane blushed, still unsure why she joined them, but
she realized that she was having fun and could tell that
people liked what they were doing. She felt the warm waves
of pleasure one feels when accepted and praised by a mass.
Ukyou laughed in delight. She hadn't had so much fun
in so long. The regret she had felt when she saw that
Ranma
had come as a female didn't last long as her feelings gave
way to an older, more platonic memories. The days when the
two had played together seemed so far yet so near and Ukyou
blushed as Ranma grabbed onto Ukyou and pressed her face
into hers and began to give her tempting gazes.
Ranma-chan laughed and didn't give a thought to the
way
most of the men around her were staring and drooling. Nor
did she give a thought to how red her face was or how
seductive Ukyou looked or how handsome Akane was. She was
just dancing to a bunch of blurry objects that cheered and
laughed for her. YeeHAH!!
Ryouga pushed his way into the crowd and nearly lost
it
as he saw Akane dance almost erotically with Ranma-chan and
Ukyou. Ryouga just stood there as his brain liquified and
his mask turned red.
"Shampoo," Mousse stood next to Shampoo, "please, have
a drink."
Shampoo ignored him and watched the three dancing in
the center.
"Shampoo?" Mouse had already asked her five times.
"Fine," Shampoo grabbed the cup and gulped it all down
and returned her gaze back to the dancefloor.
Panda saw the punch bowl after stuffing its tummy with
half the table. It stuck its big mug in the bowl and began
to gulp it down.
"Hey, make space," Mousse filled another cup and
returned to Shampoo's side.
The panda looked over, burped, then stuck its mouth
back in the punch bowl and began to drain the entire thing.
Shampoo grabbed the cup and drained it and tossed it
at
Mousse's head. "Stupid Mousse," she said and lost her
balance.
Mousse caught her. "Shampoo!! You okay!?"
"Oh, Shampoo fine," Shampoo burped and laughed at
Mousse, who was holding her closely. She never realized
how
handsome he looked.
"Shampoo?" Mousse didn't recognize that look in
Shampoo's eyes. He was familiar with the uncaring look,
and
easily recognized the deadly "I'm going to kill you" look,
but this one was unfamiliar. He sniffed. "Liqueur," he
said as Shampoo all of the sudden hugged him. Mousse began
to cry.
"Oh, Mousse so nice looking today, why Shampoo no
notice before!?" Shampoo rubbed her body on top of Mousse
who had totally lost it.
This was it!! The stupid girl had left herself wide
open!! Kodachi locked the last piece of the rocket
launcher
in place. "Die, Pig-Tailed Girl!!" Kodachi pushed the
trigger.
"PIG-TAILED GIRL!!" Kuno had plowed through the
crowds
and grabbed Ranma-chan in choking arms, who drunkenly hung
in his arms.
"Hey!!" Both Akane and Ukyou were pissed.
"DOOOOHHHH!!!" Kuno's back blew up!!
"Oh, BROTHER!! DEAR BROTHER!! I'M SORRY!!" said
Kodachi as she launched another rocket then another one.
"AAAHHHH!!!" Ukyou and Akane pried Ranma from Kuno's
unconscious grip and ran, as did everyone else in the room.
Panda snored in the bowl.
The explosion woke up Mousse and he put his glasses
back on in time to see the rocket head towards the both of
them. "AAAHHHH!!!" Mousse threw Shampoo in the air as he
got hit with a rocket.
"HOHOHOhohoHOHOHOhohoHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOO!!!" Kodachi
flipped to the other side of the ceiling, uncaring where
she
shot the next rocket.
The party was over. [Author's note: Yes, it's over.]
"Goodnight, girls," Nabiki went up to her room.
"Night, Oneechan," Akane waved.
"Night, Nabiki," said Ukyou.
"Haha, we had fun tonight," Ukyou held Ranma-chan's
head in her lap, as she drooled on the floor, "funfunfun
fun." Ranma fell asleep.
Ukyou laughed as did Akane.
"Is this the Tendo residence?"
"AAAAHHHH!!!!" SLAM!!!
"Mousse, you OK? Shampoo feel dizzy."
"Brother? Brother?"
Panda snored.
END.