Hi all, I've gone over this, taken some C&C into account, and I 
think this is rather improved.  As for the name, I'm undecided but I 
think No Need for Paradise might be appropriate.

	Kiyone stood at the entrance to The Corridor.  She shuddered as 
she contemplated the meeting she was being called to.  She looked at 
the door just inside.  It was bright red with a black 1 painted at its 
center.  Taking a deep breath she entered the gray hallway.  She had no 
idea how long it would take her to reach the black room 666.  The 
office of the fallen angel, the supreme ruler of Hell. The place she 
had dwelt since she had died.
	Kiyone walked foreword, trying to distract herself from her 
reason for being here by counting the doors as she passed them.  By the 
time she reached 600 she felt ghost pain throughout her entire lower 
body.  Ghost pain because she didn't have a real body anymore.  She 
ignored the illusionary pain as she pressed onward.  At door 665 she 
paused to stare at the next door, a dull orange door with a red 1 
painted on it.
	*I guess I've got a longer walk then I thought.*
	Kiyone pressed on.  As she walked she found herself unable to 
avoid thinking about her life and her death.  She thought about the 
afterlife she was trapped in as well.  It became a distraction from the 
false pain in her phantom body as she kept up a pace that her physical 
body would have killed itself matching.
	She thought of her death.  Ironically Mihoshi, who she would 
have bet everything she had to be it's cause, was over a hundred light 
years away when it happened.  The Galaxy Police had admitted that the 
paperwork for three of their scheduled leaves had been misfiled, and 
they were granted extended leave with a bonus to compensate.  She had 
managed to insure that she and Mihoshi spent their vacations on 
different planets, separated by  eight hundred parsecs.  Three days 
later Kiyone had been walking home from a bar with a guy she had picked 
up when she managed to trip and fall over a small bridge and suddenly 
she was here in hell.
	Hell was something else that didn't match here expectations.  
She had expected perpetual torment, but instead the torments occurred 
at seemingly random intervals.  The first time she had been reading the 
instructions for filling out the form asking for details on why she was 
in hell, and as she perused page 98 she had suddenly found someone 
else's life flashing before her eyes.  Specifically the life of 
Kamageri, who she and Mihoshi had arrested for armed robbery in their 
first year of partnership.  Mihoshi had always thought he was innocent, 
but Kiyone had gotten tired of her actions and closed the case.  Now 
she could see his life clearly, could see his innocence, and how the 
arrest had destroyed his life so totally.
	The rest of the time was a torment of a more subtle nature.  It 
didn't seem too bad, but the torment arose more from a lack than 
anything that she had to deal with.  There was no happiness, no 
kindness, no hope.  And of course the bureaucracy that she and everyone 
she knew hated so much was here, with even greater intensity and power. 
 Agony, emptiness, and frustration.  Hell was worse than she had 
imagined.
	Suddenly the fact that she had passed a black door with the 
number 645 intruded on her consciousness.  Looking up she accelerated 
her pace, coming to a halt as she reached her goal.
	She looked at the door.  It was utterly black, except for the 
red numbers proclaiming it office 666. Kiyone raised her hand and 
fought down a wave of fear.  Reaching out her hand she prepared to 
knock.
	"Come in Kiyone." said a deep voice inside the office.  Kiyone 
blinked a moment, then opened the door and stepped inside.
	"You wanted to see me..."  What was the proper title to call 
him, she wondered.
	The fallen angel looked up from a desk that looked like a red 
copy of her supervisor's.  In fact the entire office looked exactly 
like her supervisors only subtly wrong.  "That I did.  Using the Mortal 
time rate as a reference, you've been here for six years.  I was 
reviewing your case."
	Oh no...  "My. . . Case?"  She said, trying and failing to keep 
the fear from her voice.
	"Actually it was at a request from the opposing realm, but 
looking things over I have concluded that you can be released a lot 
sooner than expected, right now in face."
	Kiyone blinked.  She wasn't aware that she could be released 
from hell.  "Released?"
	"To Heaven's care.  In fact the angel who'll be looking you 
over while you make the transition should be at the gate really soon.  
If you'll just fill out the forms."
	Kiyone looked over the firms.  *There has to be some sort of 
trick.*  She thought to herself.  *Should I go along with it?  What am 
I thinking?!?  This is my chance to get out of hell!!*  She picked up a 
pen and quickly signed her name to the appropriate places.
	"Excellent!"  He raised his hand and suddenly they were 
standing by the gates she vaguely remembered passing through when she 
had arrived.  He punched a sequence in a shadow in the air by the edge 
of the gates and they silently opened.  Satan walked through the gates, 
and Kiyone followed.
	"Heaven's sending an angel to look after you while you're 
adjusting."  The dark one said.  "She should be here any minute.  Or 
less."  He added stepping aside as a brilliant light suddenly appeared 
from nowhere, and a white clad figure stepped up to them.
	"KIYONE!!"  Kiyone froze as a figure in white suddenly grabbed 
her.  She was all in white, she now sprouted wings, but the blond hair 
and that awful voice were exactly as she remembered.
	"Oh Kiyone!"  Mihoshi continued.  "It was so awful after you 
died, I mean I tried to do  my best to make you proud, but the chief 
kept yelling at me, and there were those partners who went crazy and 
had to be locked up, and finally I wasn't paying enough attention and a 
smuggler managed to shoot me.  But the worst part of it was that when I 
got to Heaven I couldn't find you.  I looked all over and I even tried 
to check with Hells records at a friends advice.  I can't believe that 
anyone actually thought you belonged in hell.  Well don't worry, I'm 
here now and we'll be together forever!"
	"F-Forever?"  Kiyone slowly turned her head and looked at the 
Devil, who was closing the gates of hell behind him with a big grin on 
his face.
	"Wait!  I changed my mind! "  Kiyone screamed as she ran for 
the gates.
	Satan smiled as he walked away from the gates of Hell, 
listening to Kiyone's screams.  "The mind is it's own place and can 
make a Heaven of Hell, A Hell of Heaven."  He chuckled to himself.