[Camera swings into a darkened Mental Library(tm). Two people and a tiger
cub are sitting around a T.V. playing Mega Man X]

Lurker: <appearing from the lavender mists> Aha! Yet another MST crew to
torment...<MML>

Tora: <still wearing gas mask> You really go for this, don't you?

Michi: [watching her player kick the bucket] I suck at these games! Can't
we play something else, like Doom or Duke Nukem?

Cerina: Considering today's fic review topic, no. Besides, this game

kicks

ass!

Lurker: ^_^

LilTigre: Cerina, you've been playing it for three straight days now...
could you stop for a while and rest the T.V.- DUCK!

[All look on as the television suddenly overheats and explodes.]

Cerina: <piku> Uhhh.... wasn't that TV on loan?

LilTigre: (pulling out the Hidden Subspace FicProjector(tm)) Let jesica
handle it... it's her mind after all. Are ya'll ready?

<historical log file: 1997.7.11>

Cerina: (Picard voice) Captain's log, stardate-

(A Commodore Vic20 pops up out of nowhere and conks her on the head.)

Lurker: <snicker> Now that looks familiar...I think I dismantled one of
those once and made a joy buzzer out of it...

	He stopped in front of a large metal locker, which had two glass

panels in

the doors. Through each glass panel, a smooth, pale, young face was
visible. The faces were marred only by small indentures in the skin

here

and there, where bits of metal glinted, and wires ran into various

monitors

lining the locker.

Michi: O_O What th' hell...?

Lurker: It's not the Borg, I'll tell you that much...

	"The tests are achieving all the desired results, boys," the man said,
smiling kindly at the faces. "If the last set of data checks out
positively, it'll be time to bring the two of you to awareness..."

LilTigre: Aww, Dr. Soong loves his lil' Data and Lore....

(A huge plastic Godzilla foot squishes her flat.)

Cerina: Enough with the Star Trek jokes.

Lurker: <Picard voice> Indeed.

	Suddenly, an alarm klaxon blared. The man looked up, eyes wide with

shock.

The klaxon sounding indicated an unauthorized teleport into the

laboratory

confines. "Wily?" he called. "Is that you?"

Michi: No, it's Santa Claus.

Lurker: Ho, ho, ho.

	A flash of blue light ripped the air above his head, and two objects

fell

to the ground. One appeared to be a futuristic silicon clipboard, with

a

message hastily scrawled onto its translucent surface. The other...he
paled.

Cerina: A clipboard is a clipboard... I don't see how something as

mundane

as that can be futuristic.

Lurker: Ever seen the clipboards on Star Trek: The Next Generation? 'Nuff
said.

	As he entered the lab, he noticed his "partner" on the floor, weeping.
Wily, for all the darkness in his heart, was, for now, still this man's
friend. He walked over, concern--genuine concern--etched on his craggy
face. "Light? What's wrong?"

LilTigre: See? There is no pure evil in the world...

Cerina: Wanna bet on that?

Tora: I wouldn't.

	Wily shook his head. "Nooo...'we' won't be doing anything. *You* are

going

to sit down here and be a good boy, while *I*," he said, an evil smile

LilTigre: Sit, Light, sit. Good scientist!

<massive facefault>

blooming on his face, "find out what the secret of this crystal is." He
reached out and snatched a code card out of Light's coat pocket, and

walked

into the good professor's office, locking the door behind him.
	Light stood stock-still, shocked. "Wily...what in heaven's name are

you

about to do?"

Cerina: You poor, naive little man....

Lurker: Hey, if we didn't have completely naive, good-hearted people like
Light, we couldn't have villains like Wily come along and screw everything
up...and then we'd never have seen over 20 Rockman games....

	Wily's megalomaniacal laugh reached Light's ears, causing the kind
scientist to tremble in fear...

(Sailor Pluto suddenly pops up, holding an SD Michi by the scruff of her
neck.)

Pluto: Is this yours?

Cerina: Unfortunately, yes.

Tora: <snarls and slashes at Pluto>

	"You gotta be kiddin' me," Saotome Ranma replied as he leapt over an
umbrella strike by his long-time friendly enemy, Hibiki Ryouga. Ryouga

had

arrived in Nerima once again, and once again he launched himself at

Ranma,

trying to bash the pigtailed boy's brains in. Their fight was beginning

to

draw the usual crowd--Akane had arrived early, and was standing along a
nearby fence, arms crossed, scowling at Ranma. Up the street, Shampoo

was

pedaling closer on her bicycle, and Ranma was pretty sure that the rest

of

the usual crew would make their appearances anytime soon.

Michi: Sometimes I wonder if Sailor Pluto, Skuld, Urd, and Belldandy are
behind all the coincidences behind that....

LilTigre: <piku> You said something halfway intelligent... (grabs her by
the throat) Okay, you, what did you do with the real Michinoku?

Lurker: Pluto musta whacked her upside the head with the Garnet Orb...

which she responded to by pulling a loose board from the
fence and hurling it at him. It smacked Ryouga in the face instead, and
Ranma leapt away, laughing. Akane blushed. "Sorry about that,

Ryouga-kun!"

	Ryouga shrugged. "Don't worry about it." He returned his attention to
Ranma. It seemed like it was going to be another average day in Nerima.

LilTigre: Isn't that last sentence a little repetitive?

Lurker: Not especially. To put it in God-boy's words...<*crack*boom*ominous
thunder*>

	"What the hell!?" Ranma wondered.
	"Aiyah! What that?" Shampoo asked.
	Akane stared wide-eyed at the enormous airship. Ukyou, who had just
appeared, smirked and said, "Odds are whatever it is, Ranchan didn't

have

anything to do with it this time."

LilTigre: Ain't that just a little OOC? I can't see her being that

calm...

Lurker: I can. Ukyou's like that. That's why she's cool. ^_^

	A skeletal robot, carrying a large steel hammer, took a swing at

Akane.

The short-haired girl scowled, and grabbed the haft of its hammer. The
robot's jaw dropped as Akane wrenched the weapon free of its grasp.

Akane

raised her new mallet, and smashed it over the robot's head. It

collapsed

to the ground in a heap. "Alright, who's next?" Akane growled. Several
mechanoids began backing away from her fearfully.

Michi: I'd be afraid of her even without the mallet...

Cerina: You've been reading Zen's "Bitter End" again, haven't you?

Lurker: <snicker>

	The melee lasted for over ten minutes, as the martial artists pounded
various mechanical creatures into the ground. Mousse had arrived, and

at

some point had appropriated a blaster from one of the robots, employing

it

against them. 

Michi: You da bomb, Mousse!

Lurker: ^_^

Just as it seemed the onslaught was nearly over, and Ranma
and Ryouga had a moment to catch their breath, a sinister cackle from

above

caught their attention.

LilTigre: Somehow, I sensed that coming...

Lurker: Of course. Would there be a point to having a horde of robots show
up that the Nerima gang could trash so handily, if there wasn't a Big Bad
Boss Bot (tm) coming in behind them?

	The other robot was supporting itself in the air by means of a rocket
pack. It had a great many appendages, with two large, humanoid legs at

its

base, two smaller sets of almost ornamental-looking legs above those,

and a

pair of arms which ended in very sinister claws. Its head was small,

with

bulbous eyes...and from the base of its body, curled slightly up

between

its legs, was a long, multi-jointed tail, with a pointed apparatus at

one

end. It shucked its rocket pack, and dropped to the ground, landing on

its

lower legs. The tail swung up and back, reappearing over its head,

looming

ominously. Ryouga flinched, having seen a tail much like that on a

certain

arachnid in a desert he'd travelled...that was a scorpion's tail.

All: ARACHNIDS??? EWWWWW.....

Lurker: <solemn expression> Respect the arachnid, lest it take you down a
peg. Especially scorpions...<shudder>

	"Who the hell are you and what do you want?" Ranma demanded.
	The bird robot looked at him, and smirked evilly. "I am called Strike
Vulture, and my companion is Burn Scorpus. And we're here to destroy
mankind." 

Cerina: The Aragami are making robots?

Lurker: Baka! <drops a bronze gong on Cerina>

	Shampoo blinked. "Is bird-thing for real?"
	Akane frowned. "Sure sounds like it."
	Ranma scowled. "Well, you can try, but I don't care how tough or ugly

you

are, we'll stop you!" he shouted.

Michi: In the name of the Moon, I'll punish you!

Lurker: <drops a bronze gong on Michi> This isn't Nibun no Senshi
Sailormoon!

	Ryouga shook his head. "Ranma's right, Ukyou. You're all good

fighters,

but we don't even know what we're up against here. It's best if you let

the

two of us handle it."

Cerina: Sexist pigs. 

LilTigre: Takahashi-san made them that way, so blame her.

All: <sweatdrop>

	Vulture shrugged. "Don't ask me. I got programmed with this blasted

sense

of warrior's honor. Makes me say stupid junk like that, and live up to

it."

LilTigre: Uhhh... ok....

Lurker: <grin>

	Scorpus grumbled. "Anyway, get ready!" 
	Ranma and Ryouga assumed their stances, each facing off against an
opponent. Vulture sneered down at Ranma. "Prepare to die, little

human."

	"Don't count your eggs before they're hatched, you metal chicken from
hell," Ranma retorted.

Cerina: Corny as hell, but I like it.

Lurker: ^_^

	"It'll take more than a little flash fire to take me down," Ryouga

said.

Diving to the ground, he jabbed his finger into the pavement. "Eat

cement!

BAKUSAI TENKETSU!" Scorpus was knocked off his feet as the ground

exploded

beneath him.

(Eat-man runs through, gobbles up the cement bits, and runs back off.)

All: O_O

Lurker: O_o

	Ryouga saw what had happened, and became worried. Dodging another
fireball, he flung several bandanas at Scorpus, and backflipped over to
where Ranma had landed. "Hey bud, you alright?" he asked.

Cerina: "'Hey, bud?'" That is WAY OOC....

Lurker: <shrugs> Not particularly. When there's a really *tough* situation
like this, they have a comraderie that's uncanny...

	Ranma nodded, clenching his teeth. "Just took a nasty cut from that

damn

feather," he said. 
	Meanwhile, Scorpus roared out in rage as two of Ryouga's bandanas

sliced

effortlessly through his ornamental limbs, severing them. "GODDAMNED

BRAT!

(Out of nowhere, a professor shows up and hands the group a citation for
foul language.)

LilTigre: Hey! We didn't say it, that thingy did!

Cerina: That's what we get for going to a Southern Baptist university.

Lurker: <chuckle>

	"Those fireballs Scorpus is throwing...you think if you get a near

enough

miss off one, you can use it to do the Hiryuu Shouten Ha?"

Michi: Ryouga has a good idea? I like it...

Lurker: ^_^

	Ranma rose from the ground, and immediately scrambled to avoid another
talon assault from Vulture. "Ready for more?" the bird taunted.
	Ranma grimaced. "Give me your best," he spat.
	"Hahahahaha! I like you, you stupid little shit," Vulture said. "RAZOR
DOWN!"

Michi: (Beavis laugh) He said shit, huhuhuhuh huh huh- URK!

(Beavis and Butthead start following Michi as she runs away, saying,

"Hey,

baby, you wanna do it?")

Lurker: O_O

LilTigre: Shouldn't we kick them back to their own universe?

Cerina: Nah, she deserves it.

Lurker: <cackle>

	Vulture's wings tore free of his back, sending up a shower of sparks.

The

robot grunted in pain, but the wings sped forth. Ranma tried to dodge,

but

the wings tracked him. Folding into a V-shape, Vulture's wings slammed

into

Ranma at the chest, the crook of the V hitting just above Ranma's

groin.

Ranma screamed in agony...

Cerina: O_O Oh, no....

Lurker: Oh, yes...

	Ryouga taunted Scorpus. "You're a lousy aim, stupid bug."
	"I'll show you lousy aim!" Scorpus said, moving closer. He readied

another

flame blast. Ryouga held his ground until the last possible second,

then

launched himself into the air, headed straight for Scorpus. Grabbing

the

scorpion's tail just behind the blaster, he moved as though to suplex

the

robot, but instead, plunged the sharp, burning end of the tail directly
down into Scorpus' head, and held it there. Scorpus screamed as his

blast

erupted...straight into his body.

LilTigre: All right!! You go, Ryouga!

Lurker: ^_^

	The Grudge Wing had severed Ranma's arms, legs, and the lower part of

his

torso. Blood flowed freely from what was left of the pigtailed martial
artist. Vulture limply picked himself up off the ground, and tapped his
comm unit. "Skybase...one to teleport, emergency priority." Vulture
teleported away in a flash of light, leaving the smoldering remains of
Scorpus behind.

LilTigre: :,(

Lurker: <solemn nod>

	The girls looked at each other, and took off running. Mousse looked

down

at the bodies, and softly said, "Hang in there, both of you. There's

still

hope."

Cerina: Whoa.

LilTigre: Yup. You better finish part 2 soon.... 

Lurker: It's on the way, soon as I finish up a shortfic I'm doing that's
almost done...

(As the cameras fade out, Michi can be seen cornered between B&B.)

Michi: HELP!!!!!!!

Lurker: <snicker> <lavender mists billow, and Lurker's entourage fades
away>

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Another Not Gonna Do It production...

"Senshi....Sailorize!"
"Anima-mates...Terrorize!"

Transformers: Sailor Wars
Not gonna do it...wouldn't be prudent.

---
The Eternal Lost Lurker
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net

"Ore wa bakemono? Che...ore wa akuma da."
-------------------------------------------------------------------