I'll just append my comments onto RG's...

On Mon, 10 Nov 1997, Redneck Gaijin wrote:

General comments:

I LOVED IT!

So did it! This was an absolutely stupendous fic! You are to be
congratulated! :)

If you'd put the characters a bit more over-the-top silly, it would have
been a masterpiece. As it is, it's an immensely entertaining Takahashi-esque
work. Kudos!

That's the same sense I got... it kinda reminded me of the day I brought
home my first Ranma 1/2 Manga compilation from Border's Books, back when I
didn't even know what Manga -was-... n.-

 So I'm walking on the fence, on my way to school as usual, right? 
Akane's at my heels, half-staring at me -- probably still mad at me 
about *something;* she usually is -- when I hear a familiar phrase 
in a familiar voice:
 "RANMA SAOTOME, PREPARE TO DIE!!"
 Yup.  Ryoga.

One of the best openings I've seen in a long time. It hooked me right from
the start. Excellent work.

Actually, I've seen this beginning too many times, and I almost skipped
over the fic because of it. Man, am I glad that I didn't, though! I also
almost skipped it because it was in the first person... why, don't ask me.
When I read the fic, though, I realized that part of the reason this fic
works so well is -because- of that... ^_^

 I suppose I oughta be grateful; it's been a while since I'd heard 

>from him.  It's kinda nice t'know he's still alive.  Y'never know, 

lost out there, the sort of things that could happen to him.  Still, 
his greeting leaves a lot to be desired, at least from a cordiality 
standpoint.  It's not even like I know what I've done to get him 
mad this time.  Not as if it matters, either.

Ranma knows the word 'cordial'?

Hmm... it depends on whether Ranma's vocalizing these thoughts or not,
which is always hard to figure out in a fic that writes thoughts in prose,
rather than enclosed in some form of brackets...

hits me -- it's iambic pentameter.  The goof; must be quoting a 
sonnet in honor of Akane Tendo.  If only he had a clue to how silly 
he looked -- even more so than when he does it in human form.

Ranma knows about iambic pentameter?

I think he would recognize it, just maybe not know what it's called. But
this scene made me laugh out loud, something which I rarely do. It's just
so -terrific- to visualize! :D ^o^


Again, I loved the fic! I wish I had time for a more exhaustive review,
but unfortunately... *sigh*. Anyway, again, it was great!


"Common Sense is what tells you that the Earth is flat."
Adam Conover
dconover@garnet.acns.fsu.edu
http://garnet.acns.fsu.edu/~dconover/main.html
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