OK, y'all asked for it.  This was my one and only foray into the realm of
revenge fics.  It didn't even come out as one, instead it was more me
justifying my fiction choices.

But, someone wanted a revenge fic that wasn't a revenge fic, so.....

Point in continuity:  This was written before I gave up on "The Reckoning".
 At the time, I had only done Ranma stuff.

*******************
Why I write my fics the way I do....
or
Shampoo and Ukyo Visit.

Ranma 1/2 Characters onwed by Rumiko Takahashi.  US rights are Viz's.

***

[Scene opens.  We see a man lying asleep on a bed.  He's wearing a t-
shirt and underwear, and his comforter is wrapped around his legs.  He's 
is tall, about 6'4", pale, and freckled all over.  He is built like a 
linebacker - broad shouldered, wide-torsoed, thick-waisted.  Whatever 
muscle tone he has is softened by a light layer of fat.  He's almost, 
but not quite handsome, and has a short mane of black hair.]

[The shot pans out to the whole room.  We see books, video games, manga, 
a computer, and little else.  A banging sound is heard.  From behind the 
closed door, a voice is heard.]

Voice: Hey, Chris!  Wakeup!

[The man on the bed rises, rubs his eyes, and grabs his glasses from 
beside the bed.  They're rather thick.]

Chris: [barely coherent] What?

Voice: There's two girls at the door to see you!

[Chris gets up and looks at his alarm.  6:30. He groans and falls back 
on the bed.]

Chris: Tell them to give me an hour.

Voice: [quitely]  They're really hot.

[Chris leaps out of bed and grabs his pants, pulling them on.  He grabs 
a swig of stale Coke and mouthwashes with it while he does a quick hand-
combing of his hair.]

Chris: Send 'em in!

[The door opens, and two extremely attractive asian girls enter.  One 
has purple hair and is carrying what looks like two sticks with a metal 
beach ball on the end.  She's wearing a form hugging purple outfit. The 
other has brown hair and is wearing rather masculine clothing.  She has 
a large spatula strapped to her back, and a bandolier across her chest.]

Purple-hair: You Chris Angel?

Brown-hair: Writer of [she pulls out a sheet] "Here We Go Again," "The 
Reckoning," and "Siblings"?

Chris: Yeah....[he suddenly takes a step back]...oh wow.  Shampoo and 
Ukyo!  [Sits at his computer and turns on the monitor, ignoring the 
girls. Screen comes up, and he opens a file, which he frantically starts 
to read.]  Lessee....wait!  [He turns to the two girls.]  Why are you 
two here?  Last I checked I didn't do anything that bad.  [Looks the two 
girls up and down, suddenly realizing there are two extremely hot girls 
in his room.]  Oh wow, what a dream.

[Ukyo whips out her spatula and brains Chris.]

Ukyo: Pervert!

Chris: [rubbing his head] Gimme a break, I'm 22, male, and there's two 
centerfolds standing in my room. I'd be a pervert it I DIDN'T have a 
quick fantasy.

[Shampoo brains him this time.]

Shampoo:  You be quiet and answer questions!  Number one:  Why you 
always give Shampoo stupid Mousse for husband?  Shampoo want Ranma!

Ukyo: As much as I'd hate to agree with Shampoo, why can't I get Ranma 
either?  What's with Ryoga, Tarou, and that Arito guy?

[Chris looks at them in amazement.  He reaches for a manga, and flips to 
the back page.  He shows the picture there to the girls.]

Chris: Look familiar?

Ukyo: Takahashi-sama.  So?

Chris: She says Akane gets Ranma.  'Nuff said.

Shampoo: You give stupid excuse.  Other writers no match Ranma and 
violent pervert girl, why not you.

Chris: [blushing and looking away, we barely hear him speak.] Cuz I like 
you too much.

Ukyo: [yelling, looking at him like he's a pervert] What!

Chris: [louder] I like you too much, OK?! [to Shampoo]  What the hell is 
wrong with Mousse anyway?  He's kind, he's loving, he's smart, and he 
thinks that you are the be-all-end-all of creation.  [To Ukyo] And you!  
Ryoga's a great guy!  So he's not a jerk like Ranma, that only puts him 
one up.  Tarou's everything Ranma is with a good chunk of brains and not 
nearly half the ego!  And Arito's Ranma's superior in every way! [Under 
his breath] Besides, no one gets Ranma in that one.

Shampoo: Aiyah!  You kill Ranma!  [She tries to grab Chris by the shirt 
and lift him up.  Chris stands and Shampoo ends up lifting herself up.]  
You no kill husband!  Shampoo kill!  [She makes a strike with her 
bonbori, but Ukyo's spatula blocks.  Shampoo drops from Chris's shirt.]

Ukyo: Wait a second, sugar, I want to hear this.  If you like us so 
much, why won't you give us Ranma?

Chris: [sighs]  Look, when I write, I try to develop a personal feel for 
my characters.  Look at my writing.  Almost all of it's from a guy's 
standpoint. I make friends, in my mind, with the guys, and [voice drops 
to barely audible] fall in love with the girls.

[Ukyo looks at him in amazement.  She exchanges a glance with Shampoo that
 could only be described as 'huh?'.]

Shampoo: So you no let Shampoo have Ranma because you love her?  You 
very mean!  Why you not want Shampoo to be happy?

Chris: [yelling] THAT'S NOT IT! [Shampoo and Ukyo are shocked by his 
vehemence, and take a step back.]  When I portray Mousse, I put in a 
good chunk of me.  Mousse is the guy who falls in love with the perfect 
girl, in his mind.  There's a piece of me in there.  Ryoga's manic-
depressive personality reflects how I feel at times.  My character 
Tenno, was many times the embodyment of how angry I feel at times.  That 
entire fanfic was a release of my frustration with you people.  Andrew 
is in many ways "me with Ranma's strength".  Tarou is the cynic in me.  
Arito is the romantic.

Ukyo: [Comprehension in her eyes.] So when you're fixing us up with all  
those guys, you're in essence...

Chris: Fixing you up with a part of me.  [Grins sadly.]  Pathetic, isn't 
it?  I'm in love with the ideal of a girl like you Ukyo, and like you, 
Shampoo. [Laughs.]  Most people have one perfect woman, I have two.  I 
feel like Kuno.

Shampoo:  This wierd.  [Looks over at Ukyo.]  Shampoo not like, but 
understand.  At least Chris no write lemons. [Chris nods.]  Shampoo let 
go, but you think about letting Shampoo have Ranma once, OK?  [She turns 
on the patented Shampoo-cute smile.]  [Chris nods enthusiastically.]

Ukyo: [pats Chris on the cheek]  They're not bad guys, Chris, I was just 
getting tired of constantly being broken up about losing Ranma.  Just so 
me the same favor.

Chris: [grins]  Oh, you might.  I'm even writing that one in my head.  
Of course, in that one you're really a guy...and you're competing with 
Ryoga...and Mousse...[He pales under Ukyo's glare.]

Ukyo: There is NO WAY I'm gonna lose to Ryoga!

Chris: Right.  Mental note: Ukyo wins.

[Shampoo and Ukyo leave the room, Chris follows and shows them to the 
door of the apartment.  Chris runs back to his computer, opens up his 
calendar program.]

Chris:  [while he types]  Things to consider: Lemon fics.  Self 
insertion fics.  Lemon self insertion fics.  Lots of them.  [A sudden 
flash of metal is seen, and a spatula embeds itself in the wall.  Chris 
looks at it, pale.]  Maybe not.

***

Final notes: 

Hey, blame my subconscious, it came up with this.  After I wrote it 
down, I did realize it's kind of true.  It is simply the way I write, 
and to me, it makes sense.  I mean, how can I make a guy fall in love 
with a girl if I can't feel the same thing for her myself?

--
Christopher "God-boy" Angel
cja124@mail.usask.ca      http://www.engr.usask.ca/~cja124
'Man who eat ice cream in car is sundae driver.'
	-found on a Bazooka Joe comic.