(Somewhere in the weird half-space between the worlds of fanfic
there was a... surge, for the lack of a better term. The surge moved
on, undisturbed, until it met a new world that was forming. Upon this
encounter the surge changed into two individuals, a young, brown-haired
man and a teenaged girl with a reddish-brown hair, and dumped them over
the chaos that was just forming to something resembling order.)

Man:(rubbing his head and looking around)Owowowow. Where the hell are we
now, Lina?

Girl(Lina):(also looking around)I... Uhh... Don't know.

Man:Don't know?!?

Lina:The spell was supposed to take us to Lurker's hideout so I could.. discuss
things with the copycat. I didn't mean to turn us into cloud of multicolored
lights!

Man:What you meant to do, doesn't matter since...

This is just a teaser for that DBZ/Ranma crossover I mentioned. It

Man:What the heck is that?

Lina:Beats me, Jussi.

Man(Jussi):Text? This is really surreal...

may be a while before you see any more of this, depending on (a) if I

Lina:(a toughtful look on her face)Hmmm... This can mean only one thing.

Jussi:What?

sacrifice it to spend more time on my other projects and (b) whether

Lina:We're inside a fanfic. Or more to the point next to the fanfic.

Jussi:Whaaat?? What do you mean?

Lina:We can watch the fanfic but not interact with the  characters. 

or not my prereaders want to deal with it. But for now, enjoy!

Jussi:You don't mean... 

Lina:Yup! I'm afraid we're in a MST.

Jussi:But I thought you were supposed to MST fics in a theater of some kind.

(The two are suddenly sitting in a movie (fanfic?) theater, and the fanfic is
rolling on the screen.)

Jussi:Huh???!! What happened??

Lina:(sweatdrop) Uhh... Err... Probably becouse you said that there should
be a theater,
a theater was formed. Or something.

Jussi:Umm.. Let's test that. There should be a coke and a bag of popcorn here.

(nothing happens)

Lina:Apparently it wasn't that.

Jussi:Look, can we get out? I'd rather be a cloud of multicolored lights
than sit here,
watching who knows what sort of crap and not knowing what might happen to us
next.

Lina:(cocks her head to the side)I'm afraid not. Since you weren't the
reason why this 
theater appeared, there must be something else that created it.

Jussi:Like What...?

Lina:My best guess is... the author.

Jussi:You mean...

Lina:Yup. Welcome to characterhood, Jussi.

Jussi:(groans)I hate my life. And this means there's nothing we can do but
watch this
fic?

Lina:Yup.

Jussi:Well, I hope it's good, at least.

	Although it is known to few people in our day and age,
	The Earth has seen not one, but two histories.
	In the distant past, there was another Earth, populated
	by humans, dinosaurs, and beings which would seem strange
	to our modern society.
	This world had many legends, including the legend of the
	mighty king of dragons, and its legendary group of warriors
	who faced many dangerous threats.

Jussi:The same guy who beat Shabranigdo?

Lina:I doubt it.

	At the end of their natural, mortal lifespans, two of the
	powerful warriors ventured forth one last time to call upon
	the eternal king of dragons, to make one final wish: that
	their souls would be reincarnated in the future.

Jussi:Do you remember if the author said what fic this is?

Lina:*shrugs* I think he said it, but I can't remember what series it was.
The title'll come sooner or later, I guess.

	The dragon king hesitantly granted the wish, and the two 
	powerful, legendary warriors died. The dragon king returned
	to his slumber...

	It was not long afterwards, that the Earth crumbled to dust. 
	The only remains of the thriving world: a brightly burning
	ember from its core, in which a dragon slept peacefully. The 
	gods which had watched over the world sighed, gave the dead 
	planet a moment of respectful silence, and went about their
	business elsewhere.

	Time passed, and the dust of the world settled once again 
	around the hot fire warming its place in orbit of the sun.
	The Earth recreated itself, and over thousands of years
	developed once more into a thriving, living planet. Mankind
	reappeared, and before long, the gods noticed, and sent the
	descendants of Earth's original gods to oversee the new
	world.

Jussi:Huh? Descendants? What happened to the orginals?

Lina:Probably created new planets for their playgrounds or something.

	As the gods returned, the immortal dragon stirred in his 
	slumber, and sleepily cast the two souls from his lair,
	to be reborn as promised.

	However, the souls became trapped in transit, unfortunate
	prisoners of a place of powerful magic...

	Other souls from the old Earth had been in the care of the
	gods, and were redistributed on Earth to be reborn again. As 
	often happens with reincarnation, they began to remember their
	past lives, and made fascinating fireside tales from them.

Jussi:I wonder if this is some weird spinoff of Sailor Moon. It features
hell of a lot of reincarnation.

Lina:I don't think so. I don't think there were dinosaurs in Silver Millennium.

Jussi:Huh??

Lina:It said that there were dinosaurs in the old earth.

Jussi:Oh. Probably not Sailor Moon then.

	Upon reflection, it seems the two legendary warriors wasted
	a wish...

	-Rebirth and Confusion-

	Dragonball created by Toriyama Akira.
	Ranma 1/2 created by Takahashi Rumiko.

Jussi:Oooo-kay. That explains things. 

	Apologies to both, especially to Toriyama-san for his cameo in this
fanfic. ^_^


	"Another one of these things? Good grief," Ryouga muttered. He
examined the spheroid in his hand, and sighed. "They're nice enough
to look at, but nobody wants to buy them, and all they do is take up
space in my backpack," he groused, idly juggling the orange ball from
his right hand to his left. "Ah well...maybe I'll find a use for it
someday..." He placed the crystal sphere in his backpack, next to the
other five he'd found. If he bothered to pay attention, he'd notice
that the balls glowed briefly when they came in contact.

Jussi:(snicker) I knew the guy was thick-headed, but this is just too much.

Lina:(quiet voice)Dragonballs... He has six of the seven dragonballs...
If I could get my hands on...

(Jussi shakes Lina)

Jussi:Snap out of it! It's just a fanfic!

Lina:(sigh) You're right.

	"Argh! Now where am I?" he raged, looking around at the unfamiliar
scenery. Picking a direction at random, he headed south...or what he
assumed to be south. It turned out to be east...ironically, the
direction he needed to travel in, because he happened to be in China
at the moment.

Jussi:Well, that's a first.

Lina:Huh?

Jussi:Ryouga going to the right direction.

	Ranma lazed on the veranda of the Tendou residence, chuckling at a
Dragonball manga. "Oh man, this is great...hahahahaha!" he cheered.
"Yeah, get him! Oooh, that had to hurt..."
	Nabiki raised an eyebrow and smirked. "You know, Saotome...as much
time as you spend reading that manga, did it ever occur to you to try
to learn any of those weird techniques from it?"
	Ranma shot Nabiki a look, and snorted. "Yeah right. Nabiki, get
real. This," he said, "is just a manga. Martial artists can't really
do this kind of stuff."

Jussi:_He_ says that??

Lina:Alternate universes have alternate laws of physics and that, in turn,
means...

Jussi:Thank you, that's quite enough.

(Lina glares at Jussi)

	Nabiki favored Ranma with a sideways glance. "I'm sure you're right,
Ranma...after all, it's nothing like when you fire off a Moukou
Takabisha, or knock someone into the air with the Hiryuu Shouten Ha,
right?"
	"..." Ranma's eye twitched. "Look, Nabiki," he said, putting the
manga down on the veranda. "My techniques, and Ryouga's--"
	"--and Cologne's, and Happousai's, and Herb, Saffron--"
	"OUR techniques," Ranma continued, annoyed at the interruption, "are
*real*. They've been developed, they have a basis in the foundations
of martial arts--"

Lina:I think she hit a sore spot. Gotta remember that for HaS.

Jussi:If I ever get around to continue it.

Lina:(casting an evil eye at Jussi)You'd better...

	Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. But how can you be so sure that
the kind of things in that manga *can't* be done?" She loved teasing
Ranma, especially about insane variations of martial arts and
techniques. His reactions were always so hilarious! She didn't really
believe the stuff in that manga could be done either, but it was fun
to play with Ranma like that.
	Ranma smirked. "Sure, Nabiki...like I can just walk out here in the
yard," he said, doing just that. Turning sideways to face the Tendou
property's side wall, he called over his shoulder, "And do a
kamehameha just like Gokou."
	Nabiki shrugged. "You do ki blasts...give it a try."
	Ranma rolled his eyes. "You know what? I will...just to prove
nothing's going to happen." *Might as well make a good show of this,

Jussi:Is it just me, or is Ranma faring better than usual in this verbal
duel?

Lina:It's his specialty. Martial arts I mean.

though,* he told himself. Cupping his hands and bringing them to his
side, he focused his ki, as though he seriously intended to do the
technique. "Ka...me..."
	Nabiki's eyes widened. There...in Ranma's hands...ki!? This was
unexpected...
	"Ha...me..." *Strange,* Ranma thought, *I feel like I really *am*
doing it...*
	Unnoticed by Ranma, but transfixing Nabiki with its glow, a large
ball of ki had gathered between the pigtailed martial artist's hands.
	"HAAAAA!!!!!!!" Ranma roared, throwing forth his hands. The ki blast
erupted from his outstretched arms, slamming into the wall and
disintegrating it. 

Jussi:O_O Wow... 

Lina:Okay. Now we know who one of the two reincarnated warriors is.

	Ranma blinked. "What the--!?!?!"
	Nabiki shot to her feet, eyes wide with surprise. 
	Akane, Kasumi, Soun, and Genma scrambled from various parts of the
house. "Goodness, was there an explosion?" Kasumi asked.
	Soun looked at the wall, and wailed. "My wall!"

Lina:(snicker)

	Genma frowned. "What happened here?"
	"Ranma..." Akane said, menace in her tone.
	Ranma raised his hands in front of him to ward off his fiancee. "I
didn't do nothin'! It...I wasn't expectin' that to happen!" he said,
sweating nervously.

Jussi:Forget what I said about Ranma's verbal skills.

	"And what...exactly...*did* happen?" Akane said.
	Nabiki placed a hand on her sister's shoulder. "Akane...*this*
happened," she said, holding Ranma's discarded manga in front of the
younger girls' face.
	Akane blinked. "Huh?"
	Ranma stared at the damage to the wall, stared at his hands, and
finally stared at the manga. "Masaka...I...that's impossible..."

Jussi:(snorts) Like a Mouko Takabisha is possible.

Lina:Do you really want me to start explaining alternate universes?
(raises an eyebrow)

Jussi:I think I'll shut up.

	"What's going on here, boy?" Genma asked, crossing his arms.
	"Ranma here just learned a new technique," Nabiki said dryly,
recovering her wits.
	"A new technique?" Soun said, turning off his tears literally in a
blink. He leaned forward. "What is it, son? It looks powerful."
	Ranma nodded. "Yeah...yeah, it is. Real powerful." He stared at his
hands again.

Lina:Well, I can disintegrate a wall with a normal fireball, so...

Jussi:You're a mega-powerful sorceress, he's a martial artist.

Lina:Yeah. I forgot that.

	"Well? We're waiting, Ranma!" Akane said. Her anger at the damage
was gone, replaced by genuine interest in Ranma's new technique. 
	He shook his head. "Shouldn't be possible...I shouldn't have been
able to do that..."
	"Are you going to tell us or not boy?" Genma bellowed.
	Nabiki smirked, and held the manga up for all to see. "He
did...this," she said.
	"NANI!?" Everyone stared at the open page of the Dragonball manga,
showing Son Gokou performing his trademark Kamehameha. Genma adjusted
his glasses. Soun raised an eyebrow. Akane blinked. "What the--?"

(Jussi adjust his glasses, Gendou-style)

(Lina sighs)

	"I...I did it? I really did it?" Ranma said. He looked at the manga,
then at his hands, then at the shattered wall. "I...I *did* it!" He
laughed. "Wow...imagine that."
	"Ranma?" Akane asked. "You..." she pointed at the manga. "You did
*that*!?"
	Genma shrugged. "Possible, I guess. I mean, it's a weird place to
get a new technique, but..."
	Soun frowned. "I'm still skeptical. It's one thing to learn a new
technique from, say, the master or Cologne, but...from a manga?"

Jussi:They're awfully calm about this...

Lina:The shock hasn't probably settled in.

	Ranma shrugged. "Well, it might have been a fluke," he said. "Only
one way to find out!" 
	Everyone backed away, standing near the veranda. "Aim *up* this
time, son," Soun said.
	Ranma grinned, and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Ah,
sorry 'bout the wall, Mr. Tendou," he said. Looking up into the sky,
he brought his hands together once more, focusing his ki as he did
before. "Ka...me...ha...me...HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" A blinding column of ki
tore from Ranma's hands, rising into the sky. Everyone gaped at the
powerful blast.

Jussi:(ranma voice) Just wait Tarou. The next time you come here, I'm gonna
give you a nasty surprise.

Lina:Did you know that your jokes are really stupid?

	Ranma lowered his hands, and took a few deep breaths. "Man...that
sucker's strong," he said. 
	"He...he really..." Soun and Genma took the manga, and looked at it,
then looked into the sky where Ranma's blast had vanished. 
	It was then that everyone noticed a small, smoking shape plummet to
the ground. It bounced off Ranma's head, and landed in the yard. The
small figure's clothing and face where charred, but it was quickly
obvious who it was.

Jussi:(ROTFL)

Lina:(smirks) The Takahashi law of improbability strikes again!

	"The master!" Soun said. "Master, are you quite well?"

Lina:He and Genma didn't start dancing around Happi's charred body?

	Ranma looked down. "Oh, heya gramps."
	Happousai groaned, and picked himself up groggily. "Wha...who *did*
that?" he asked. *That ki...it seemed vaguely familiar...like I
should know it, but...*
	"Sorry 'bout that old man," Ranma said. "Just tryin' a new
technique."
	"Hmm? Wuzzat? New technique y'say?" Happousai grinned up at Ranma in
a none-pleasant fashion. "Nice trick y'got there, Ranma m'boy!" 

Jussi:none-pleasant?? Wussdat?

	"Thanks," Ranma said. 
	Happousai hopped up to chest level and elbowed Ranma
conspiratorially. "So...where'd ya learn it, hmm?"
	Ranma rubbed his head sheepishly. "From...well, it's over there," he
said. "Pop and Mr. Tendou have the book."
	"New training manual, is it?" Happousai cackled, and bounded over,
quickly snatching the book. "Hmmm...WHAA!?" he flung the book at the
ground in shock, and stared at it. "This...this is...this is just a
stupid manga!" Fuming, Happousai stalked into the house and headed
for his room.

Lina:And he didn't start crying or demanding to know where Ranma really 
learned it from??

	Ranma shook his head and laughed. Akane frowned. "I don't get it.
How could you have learned a technique out of a manga? It doesn't
make any sense."
	Ranma shrugged. "I dunno. Why don't we go ask the old ghoul?"

(Jussi holds up a sign which reads "Plot device!!!")

(Lina glares at Jussi)

	Akane scowled. "Well...alright, but I'm warning you. If you even
*think* of flirting with Shampoo..."
	"Yeah yeah," Ranma said, rolling his eyes. "Can we *go* already?"
	The two of them left, bickering loudly, for the Nekohanten.

	Cologne stood, perched on her staff, at the window of the ramen
shop. She'd sensed a powerful ki surging somewhere nearby, and then
had seen a bright flash in the sky. "Aiyah," Shampoo had said, "what
that?"
	Cologne frowned. *That was a ki attack.* The powerful ki flickered
out after the blast. Cologne had since been watching the window

Jussi:Uhhh... I think there's brief confusion in tenses here. 

intently. She spotted Ranma and Akane coming towards the restaurant.
	"Well, Shampoo, here comes son-in-law." The door opened, and the
bouncy Amazon teen intercepted the pigtailed boy. "Ranma! You come
see Shampoo! Shampoo happy!"

Jussi:You know, somebody could do a really sugary fic starring Shampoo
someday...

Lina:(hisses) Don't give them any ideas!!!

	Ranma sighed. "Actually, we came to see the ghoul," he said.
	Cologne hopped over, whapping Ranma on the head with her staff.
"What's on your mind, son-in-law?" She narrowed her eyes. "Did you
notice that strong ki blast in the sky earlier?"
	Ranma grinned sheepishly. "Actually...err, I kinda...was the one who
threw it," he said.
	Cologne's eyes widened. "Impossible," she said. "That ki was too
powerful, even for you."
	"I was there," Akane said. "He did fire that blast."
	Cologne narrowed her eyes, peering intently at Ranma. She used her
ancient wisdom and knowledge to look at his ki. What she found there

Jussi:Just with ancient wisdom and knowledge? She didn't use her eyes at all?
(snickers)

(Lina glares at Jussi)

Lina:DIIIIILLL...

Jussi:No! Lina! Wait!

Lina:BRANDO!!!!

(KA-BOOOM!) 

Jussi:(flying in the air)AAAAAA!! 

(THUMP!)

Jussi:That... hurt...

surprised her. "Amazing...now how did *that* get there...?"
	"What is it?" Ranma asked.
	"It seems, son-in-law," Cologne said, "that there's another ki
intertwined with your own. A very powerful ki, at that," she added.

Lina:Figures.

"I'm surprised I never noticed it before...although it *is*
interwoven rather tightly with your ki," she admitted. "Odd...the
curse is the thread binding them."

Jussi:(who has somehow recovered) Typical.

	Ranma blinked. "What's that mean?" he asked.
	Cologne shook her head. "I don't know. I'd ordinarily say you've
taken on the ki of the person who drowned in that spring, but I know
for a fact that it was a simple peasant girl with no fighting
abilities who died in that spring. This is indeed a puzzle." She

Jussi:Now, the thousand dollar question: Why did the ki attach itself to just
Ranma? The Musk Dynasty had used the Nyannichuan for years before Ranma ever
showed up.

(This time, it's Lina who is holding up the "Plot device!!!" sign. She looks
none
too pleased with the situation.)

frowned. "Tell me, son-in-law...that attack...it wasn't one of your
usual techniques, was it?"
	Ranma shook his head, and handed Cologne the Dragonball manga,
turned open to the proper page. "Actually, *this* is the technique I
used."
	Cologne looked at it, and frowned. "You're joking, I hope."
	Akane shook her head. "He did that attack, right out of the manga."
	Cologne rubbed her chin. "Interesting," she said. "If you get the
urge to learn any more techniques out of this manga, let me know
beforehand, so I can be present."

Jussi:(snicker)Somehow, this line seems just so gooddamn funny...

	"Alright," Ranma said. "Thanks, Cologne." He and Akane left before
Shampoo could attempt another glomp.
	"Great-grandmother? What you think going on?"
	Cologne shook her head, and sighed. "I don't know, but I have a very
odd feeling about this."

(The theater where Jussi and Lina sat suddenly disappears)

Jussi:That's it?

Lina:(looking around in the whiteness that surrounds the pair) Apparently.
But whoever wrote it, did a pretty good job.

Jussi:(looking down)Lina, wait! It isn't over yet!

Lina:What?

Jussi:There's some more text here.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
You know you're eating at a bad Italian restaurant 
when there's something Roman in your meal.

Jussi:ARGHH!!!!!

Lina:(groans)

Jussi:That was BAD!

---
The Eternal Lost Lurker

Lina:(eyebrow twitching)It was Lurrrrkerrrrrrr...

Jussi:(sweatdrop)Calm down Lina...

EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net

Lina:And E-mail? Good, we're going in! MODEM WING!

Jussi:No! Wait! I didn't get the chance to...

(Lina grabs Jussi's hand and the two turn into a cloud of multicolored lights
and disappear.)
-----------
Jushi, The resident Martian of cyberspace
Jussi.Nikander@alien.nixu.fi
-----------
Compared to this ice cream the human lifespan is just
the blink of an eye.
		-Jean, Nadia and the Secret of Blue Water,
		       episode 19.