The Goddess Review Office Presents:

[You know this by now, Chris, Skuld and Urd are in a theatre.]

Chris: [looks around] What happened to Belldandy, anyway? 
Skuld: [absently] She said she needed some help from Keiichi on some
studying.
Chris: What subject? [starts to drink some Coke]
Skuld: [shrugs]  I dunno, the text had the words Kama Sutra on it, though.

[Chris snarfs loudy and painfully]

Chris: It had WHAT written on it?! [shakes his head] I didn't know she had
it in her...
Urd: She doesn't, that's the point.
Chris: NEVER MIND!
Urd: I bet Keiichi's going to-
Chris: NEVER MIND!
Urd: [pouts] You are no fun at all.
Skuld: What are you two talking about.

[Chris and Urd exchange a look.]

C/U: NEVER MIND!

Flashman: I'm stuffed.
Sakura: I think (holds her hand over her mouth as she burps) I could 
get to like this "Thanksgiving".
Flashman:(Smirks) Told ya. (Looks around) Where's Trident?
Sakura:(Shrugs) Got me.
Flashman: You didn't let him have any of the Death By Chocolate... 
did you?  You KNOW what chocolate does to him.
Sakura: Uh oh.

Chris: Bah, stupid Americans.  Should put Thanksgiving in October where it
belongs.
Urd: Just scream the fact you're Canadian, why don't you?
Chris: I just spend 14 hours today at the office, I'm allowed to be pissed
of.
Skuld: YOU'RE the one up at 12:30 reviewing fics.
Chris: *grumble*

(Trident comes in and back flips all throughout the theater.)
Trident:(Singing) I am the very model of a cartoon individual!  I'm 
comical, unusual and also rather whimsical.
(Trident continues singing as Flashman and Sakura stare at him and 
when Trident reaches the far back of the theater...)

Skuld: Oniichan?
Chris: Yeah?
Skuld: Can I have him at my birthday party?
Chris: I'll see what I can do.

Trident: HALF TIME! (He collapses to the floor and starts snoring.)

Urd: [snort] Just like a man, falls asleep just when things are getting
interesting.

Flashman: (Shaking his head) Alcohol doesn't do a thing to him, but 
give him the tiniest piece of chocolate and he falls apart.
Sakura: Guess this means we're not reviewing tonight.
Flashman:(Grumbling under his breath) Not like there's many good 
pickin's.  RPM.... grrrrrr.

Chris: Yeah, I was even going to write some spamfic just to fill some
space...but then work showed up, and I started having this idea on OMB (it
will be a while...I'm thinking of a 'visit home' arc of chapters).  But
then this came out...and...well...thanks.

Sakura: Want to work on TRIO?  I'll help, especially with the fight 
scenes.
Flashman: Okay.

Chris/Urd/Skuld: YAY!  More TRIO!!!!!!!!!
 

(Flashman pulls out a remote and turns on the screen.  However, 
something other then TRIO pops up.)

Chris/Urd/Skuld: BOOOOOOOO!!!!

Flashman: What the...
Sakura: What's this?
Flashman: I don't... wait a minute.  I remember this, I was working 
on TRIO and one day got stuck on something in it and wrote this.
Sakura: Hmmm... ANOTHER SM/R1/2&DBZ fusion?

Chris: I'm sensing a theme in your works, Flashman.
Skuld: This from the man who's favorite subject is overprotective personas.
Chris: [Sniffs] Work with what you know.

Flashman:(Shrug) So sue me.  I thought it would be cute.
Sakura: You know, this is pretty good.  How about we continue it?
Flashman:(Shrug) Why not?  Sounds like fun... and who knows... maybe 
this will earn me more respect from the FFML and earn me SOME respect 
from the RRML.  Maybe this will earn me....
Sakura: ...MST's?
Flashman:(Coughs) Sure... those too. (Aside) How does she always see 
through me like that?

Urd: [dryly] I don't know, maybe the [MST please ^_^] in the subject might
have tipped her off.
Chris: Be nice.

DRAGON MOON 1/2

Skuld: Think you could reference another source in there?

     It was raining in Nerima.  This was a normal event.  People 
opened their umbrellas and continued on  their way.  This was also 
normal.  Suddenly, loud explosions could be heard coming from down 
the street.  This would become normal.

Urd: Ranma 1/2.

     Two forms, one a red headed girl in an orange karate gi, the 
other a panda bear, dropped down from the sky and landed in the 
middle of the street, "Listen pop," the girl said, "For the last time 
I am NOT getting married to some girl I've never even met before!"

Skuld: Ranma 1/2 meets Dragon Ball.

     The bear tried to say something but it came out as grumbling.  
"I don't have time for fiances," the girl continued, "I have to get 
back to China... and it can be around you or THROUGH you!"

Chris: Pretty agressive dialogue for Ranma...even at this point in the
history.
Skuld: Oniichan, they're Sayajins.
Chris: [considers that] Good point.

     With that the girl let out a roar of anger and with a gold flash 
of light, the red head was a blonde.  The panda looked at the girl 
for a second before it let out a roar of its own and the black hair 
that was on it became blond as well.  The two charged each other and 
traded a flurry of blows.  Suddenly, the panda disappeared and the 
girl looked around for it as she exclaimed, "Now where did he...."

[Chris suddenly cracks up]
Chris: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Urd: What's with you?
Chris: [gasping] Yellow....and....hahaha....white....*gasp*...panda.
Skuld: KAWAI!

     She was cut off as the panda whacked her on the back of the head 
with a stop sign.

     Meanwhile, at the Tendo Dojo......

     Soun wept for joy as he read the card from his dear friend.  It 
said,
<Coming soon,

Bringing son.

Your friend,
Goku>

Chris: O_O
Skuld: O_O
Urd: ooooookaaaaaay.......
 

     Soun stood and ran to gather his daughters.

     "Kasumi!"

     A young woman stopped her cooking and looked up at her father.

     "Nabiki!"

     A girl in her room stopped reading the stock reports and looked 
up at her father.

     "Akane!"

Urd: Nothing new here...
Chris: Methinks she speaks too soon.

     A girl in the dojo stopped breaking bricks and looked up at her 
father.

     "Usagi!"

[Skuld hammers Chris]
Skuld: Cheater!

     No answer.

     "Usagi?  Now where could that girl have gotten to?"

    "If you're looking for Usagi," Nabiki said, "she should be home 
right about...."

     The door opened and Usagi walked in as she cried, "I'm home!  
Sorry I'm late but the teacher gave me deten..." Usagi tripped on a 
crack on the floor and fell on her face, "OW!  WHHHHAAAAAA!!!!"

     "...now," Nabiki finished.

Chris: 7.2
Urd: Stingy.  8.6
Skuld: She's right, 8.4.

     "What is it you wanted us for father?" Kasumi asked after she 
had soothed Usagi with a batch of fresh baked cookies.

Chris: [frowns]  You know...Usagi and Kasumi in the same house just bothers
me...

     "I have wonderful news," Soun exclaimed, "I've told you many 
times about my training with my oldest and dearest friend Son Goku, 
have I not?"

     "Only about a thousand times," the two youngest Tendo siblings 
(Akane and Usagi) said at the same time.

     "Well, he's coming here after a training trip to China and he's 
bringing his son, Gohan with him."

     "So?" Usagi asked as she bit into another cookie.

     "As you also know, our two styles, The Magical Girls School, 
which one of you will inherit one day from your dearly departed 
mother,  and the Saya-Jin School have had a history of cooperation."

[Chris cracks up again]

Chris: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Urd: [sweatdrop] Magical Girls School?
Skuld: [sweatdrop] Saya-jin School?
Chris: [catching his breath] Oh man....now THAT's comedy!

     "To quote sis," Akane said, "So?"

     "One of you is going to marry Gohan."

     "WHAT???" Three of the four sisters exclaimed. (Kasumi of course,
 being the exception)

Chris: *sigh* You know, I re-read my early Ranma books, I REALLY like her
early characterization over her later one.  She was more fun when she
wasn't a ditz.
Urd: Belldandy got to you, didn't she?

     "Hey," Nabiki finally said when the shock had worn off, "maybe 
we shouldn't take this so hard.  This Gohan might not be such a bad 
guy."

     "Is he my age?" Kasumi asked, "Younger men are so.... YOUNG."

     "Is he cute?" Nabiki asked.

     "Hey," Usagi exclaimed, "That's MY line.  Aren't you supposed to 
ask if he's rich?"

(Sorry SKJAM, that line can be used in more then one reality right?)

Skuld: TAKE COVER!

[Everyone ducks, the screen explodes]

Chris: [looks up at the wreckage] Way to break the fourth wall, Flashman.

     "Yeah dad," Akane interjected, "what IS this Gohan like?"

     "I don't know," Soun answered, "I've never met him."

      Alarm bells rang in all four girls heads and they all looked at 
each other with "oh BOY" looks.  Suddenly, the sound of a door 
opening and someone yelling, "PUT ME DOWN" was heard.

Urd: You know, oh BOY says something completely different than what you're
trying to put across here...they sound pleased.
Chris: [nods] OH boy would be better...[frowns] Or would it?
Skuld: Maybe change that to "uh oh"

     Soun leaped to his feet and exclaimed, "That must be Goku and 
Gohan now!"

     Nabiki and Usagi, their curiosity overtaking them, followed 
their father down the hall.  Two seconds later, the three of them 
came running back as a giant panda bear with a person over its 
shoulder walked into the house.  "Pop," the person exclaimed, "Cut it 
out!  Can't you see you're scaring them spitless!"

     The panda placed its burden down and stood back.  "I..." the 
girl said, "I'm Son Gohan.... sorry about this."

     As soon as the surprise wore off Soun grabbed Gohan and hugged 
as he said, "I'm so happy you've arrived!"

     Something about Gohan, Soun noted, didn't feel right.  He 
stepped back and took a look.  A red headed girl in an orange karate 
gi looked back.  "Dad," Nabiki pointed out, "Gohan is a GIRL!"

     The lights went out for Soun.

Chris: [dryly] Some things never change....

     Later.......

     Soun awoke to see Kasumi, Nabiki and the panda looking down at 
him.  He groaned as he awoke and sat up.  "Dad," Nabiki scolded, "how 
could you have told us that Gohan was a boy?!"

     "I assumed," Soun explained, "that Gokus SON would be a boy."

[Urd and Skuld glare at Chris]
Chris: [nervous] What?
Skuld: One "Son Goku" joke out of you....
Chris: [smiles] I don't need to say it now, do I?

     The panda seemed flustered by this for some reason and shuffled 
for the bathroom.  Meanwhile, exclamations came from the dojo.  The 
group looked up to see Gohan, Usagi and Akane coming back after they 
had promised Kasumi to show their guest around.  "You should have 
seen it," Usagi blabbed, "Akane asked if Gohan wanted to spar and 
Gohan said yes and then... it was so FAST!  Gohan just avoided Akanes 
punch and..."

     "Sis," Akane interrupted, "you don't have to rub it in."

Chris: Yes she does.  This is Usagi, after all.

     "Sorry," Usagi blushed.

     "If you don't mind," Gohan said, "I'm going to take a bath."

Skuld: [frown] I hope he's keeping Gohan's original characterization.
Urd: [nods] Same for Goku.
Chris: Yeah, considering what I've seen, which is only 1/2 a season, it
would be an awful shame to give those two Ranma's and Genma's
personalities.

     "Go right ahead," Soun said, "You're a guest and thus are 
allowed all the privileges of one."

     Gohan nodded and walked out.  Usagi and Akane soon went up to 
their rooms as they chatted and gossiped about school mates and other 
such things.  Kasumi went back to cooking and Nabiki went to go check 
her business holdings.  As soon as they were gone, Soun heard a 
familiar voice behind him say, "Hello old friend."

Chris: And the lights go out for Soun yet again.

     A little later.....

     Nabiki knocked on Usagis door and the youngest Tendo sister 
looked out.  "Yes sis?" she asked.

     Nabiki smiled at her sister and said, "Your bath is ready... and 
by the way, do you know who that guy dad's talking to is?"

     "What guy?"

     "Never mind."

     Nabiki knew Gohan was still in the bath but still, Usagi 
embarased so easily sometimes and it was so funny when she did so.  
Usagi went down the hall and into the bathroom.  She undressed in the 
changing area, grabbed her towel and walked in...

     Only to see a naked man coming out of the tub.  A.... completely.
.... 100%.... naked.... MAN!

     Usagi closed the door, put her clothes back on, walked out of 
the changing area... and screamed.

Chris: You know, just ONCE, I'd like to see a girl get a nosebleed.

     All the people in the living room looked up at the scream and 
watched Usagi as she raced in and hid behind Akane.  "What is it?" 
Akane asked in concern.

     "There's a PERVERT in the bath room," Usagi exclaimed, her eyes 
wide in fear.

     "Someone trying to scare my little sister?!" Akane thought, 
"KILL!!!!!!"

Skuld: Hey, Oniichan, she's acting like you!
Chris: THAT'S NOT FAIR!
Urd: And exactly who decked Modi?
Chris: [growling] The jerk deserved it.

     Aloud she growled, "I'll drown him in the bath tub!!!"

     Akane grabbed the table and hefted it over her head.  At that 
moment a boy with black hair, wearing the same gi the girl had been 
wearing before, walked into the room.  "Who are you?" Kasumi asked.

     "I..." the boy said, "I'm Son Gohan.... sorry about this."

     The four sisters stood there stunned.  The table fell with a 
whump onto Akanes head.  "Calm down please," Soun said, "I can 
explain everything."

Chris: [hisses] Oooooh, that's gonna STING.
 

     He indicated the man on his left, who was attired the same as 
Gohan but his hair was longer and more frazzled looking and said, 
"This is my old friend, Son Goku..."

     "...and this," Goku said, "is my son."

     "Gohan," Gohan finished.

     Usagi just stared at him as Akane growled threateningly.  
"You're probably wondering what's going on," Goku continued, "well, 
I'll explain.  It all started with a training trip to China...."

Urd: Which we've heard the story to a thousand times...
Chris: Which is why he's not going into it again...

	Meanwhile, somewhere in deep space......

	The two small space ships landed on the planet.  The ships looked 
like giant baseballs with glass portals on them.  They opened and the 
beings inside stepped out.  "At last," the being from the ship on the 
left said, "Earth!"

	The other one replied, "This doesn't look like how you described 
Earth.  In fact, this looks like a planet in the Proxima System."

	The two of them were stark contrasts to each other.  The one on the 
left was at least six foot, with short cropped brown hair, a cat like 
face with a confused expression and wearing armor of some kind with a 
yellow top and black pants.  "Rei," he said as he turned to his 
partner, "this HAS to be the right place."

C/U/S: WHO?
 

	A small, non discript alien wobbled over to them and said, "Welcome 
to Proxima 3."

	Rei snarled, "I should have known better then to let YOU set the 
ships coordinates Ryoga," as she blasted the alien with a small fire 
blast.

Chris: [shudders] Gah.  Ryoga the Sayajin. [shrugs] The Earth is safe,
he'll never find it.

	Rei was a woman with black hair that spilled down to her waist, 
wearing a white shirt, with a red bow on her chest as well as an 
unreasonably short red colored skirt, a sneer perminantly attached to 
her face.  The only thing the two had in common was that both of them 
wore devices over their right eyes.  The devices were Scouters, small 
machines with the ability to gauge a life forms power level.  Right 
now, the two of them were scanning the terrain.  "Hmph," Rei muttered,
 "might as well get some exercise while we're here.  What do you say?
"

	Ryoga grinned, "Why not?"

	The two of them lifted off the ground and went flying off to cause 
some damage.

Chris: OK, Vejita and what's his nose types...
Skuld: This one is going to get messy, I can tell.
 

	Flashback....

	{Two months ago, Jusenkyo China}

C/U/S: AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGH!!!!

<SNIP>

Chris: I am NOT going through another one of those.

	Back to the Tendo Dojo (Present day).....

	Gohans hands tightened into fists as Goku finished the tale.  The 
Tendos just sat there in shock and after several minutes, Soun 
finally said, "So, the legendary training ground of Jusenkyo.  It's 
true horror has been reveled at last."

	"TRUE HORROR!!!" Gohan roared as he turned towards his father, "You 
never said anything about any 'true horror'!!!"

Skuld: This will be REALLY messy.
Chris: Skuld, could you sound just a LITTLE less enthused about the
impnding carnage?
Urd: And I'm the half demon.  Sheesh.

<SNIP>

	Goku-panda grumbled something in response and Gohan-chan shrieked, 
"AND STOP TRYING TO TALK WHEN YOU'RE A PANDA!  DIDN'T THAT GUIDE 
TEACH YOU THAT SIGN TECHNIQUE!!!!"

	Goku-panda pulled out a sign from behind his back that read, <Boot, 
I haven't gnat the hinge of it yak.>

Chris:<snicker> Good one.
 

	Gohan-chan suddenly seemed calm as she said in a quivering whisper, 
"Excuse us for a moment Mr. Tendo.  Dad and I need to work out a few 
things."

Skuld: Hopefully with a lot of prperty damage.

	With that, the two cursed, Saya-Jin School Of Martial Arts masters, 
flew up into the air, powered up and collided in a violent battle.  

Skuld: WAAAAAAH!  No battle scenes!
Urd: Deal.

"Well," Akane said, not completely able to hide the satisfaction in 
her voice, "I guess this means no fiances."

	"I wouldn't say that sis," Usagi replied in a whisper, "we know Papa 
better then that."

Chris: And my Amazing Sense of Impending Doom(tm) just kicked in.
 

	Soun looked at his daughters nervously and said, "We can figure this 
whole thing out in a little bit, but let's give them a few minutes to 
come back to themselves."

	Back in deep space.....

	The silent explosion of the planet brought a rare smile to Reis face 
as she watched along with Ryoga onboard their ships.  "Nice shot," 
Ryoga complimented, "I bet they never saw that one coming."

	"Why thank you," Rei replied, "now, shall we try for Earth again."

	"Sure.  I'm certain I've got the coordinates right this time."

	"You'd better."

Skuld/Urd: Oniichan?
Chris: Thank you.  [deep breath] NOT BLOODY LIKELY!

	A few hours later....

	The ships opened.....

	"AHHH!  Earth at last!"

	"This ISN'T Earth."

	"WHERE IN THE COSMOS ARE WE NOOOOOWWWWW?!!!!!!!"

Chris: [bows] Thank you, thank you....
Urd: Not a bad work, BUT...
Skuld: Your using the classic Ranma characterizations for the Sons/Saotomes
was a bit disappointing.
Chris: I don't know, maybe it's my general tiredness WRT Ranma,
but....sheesh, don;t you feel kind of dirty making Goku and Gohan act like
that?

--
Christopher "God-boy" Angel
cja124@mail.usask.ca      http://www.engr.usask.ca/~cja124
'Man who eat ice cream in car is sundae driver.'
	-found on a Bazooka Joe comic.