Final Fantasy 7 – Revelations

Part 1: Aftermath

"Midgar?"

"The destruction was nearly complete. I’m detecting some movement around the slums’ perimeter, possibly survivors."

Cid slumped back in his chair, barely breathing as the full impact of the technician’s words sunk in. Midgar had been destroyed, and all the people who lived there were dead. All those innocent lives destroyed because of a madman’s vanity and the will of the planet.

"Sir?" The technician’s question snapped Cid from his reverie.

"Sir, what now?"

Donning his gruff attitude like an old coat Cid responded, "Whaddaya MEAN what now? Go form a rescue party and get those people the #&@* out!"

"Sir!" The technician left to gather the others. At least, those which were left. More than half of the Highwind’s crew was lost in the lifestream.

The Highwind… she would never fly again. Cid cast his eyes about the bridge, all that was left of his proudest creation, "What else is there?" he asked of the cold metal. Flying had been his life, and over the course of this adventure he had seen his fondest dream come true.

Cid remembered being in space, with the infinity of existence strewn about like so many drops in an ocean, but he had to ask himself if it was worth it. So many people had to die for his dream to come true. An entire city was leveled, just so he could see the stars.

Cid knew that it wasn’t his fault, nevertheless the deaths of thousands detracted from his own victory. It made him guilty to feel special in the wake of all this.

Slowly Cid made a circuit of the bridge, turning off the sensors and monitors as he went. He moved with something approaching reverence, quietly bidding farewell to his old friend.

"Shit," he said as he shut off the lights for the last time.

--

Shera was waiting.

Out of all Cid’s friends and cronies, she felt she was the only one who knew, or even had the slightest inkling, of what Cid was going through right now. Somewhere beneath that belligerent, insensitive, vulgar exterior, he was hurting, a lot. It didn’t show much, but Shera could see it.

Cid had begun to soften towards her, at least he wasn’t calling her a dumb bitch, which at first glance was a good thing. Except she knew that it was only because the things Cid was saying to himself were a thousand times worse.

"Jeez," She whispered, "I never thought I’d see the day when I’d want him to call me names…"

Most people couldn’t understand why Shera took such abuse from the captain. That was because most people didn’t know him before the crash. He was still gruff, but the barbs were always in teasing, unless she screwed up.

She stayed with him because without her all that anger would have had nowhere to go. Had Shera not been there Cid would have driven himself mad long ago. Her presence, however unwanted, gave him something to lash out at.

And, she reflected, he never, ever, asked me to leave.

She cared about him, that was why she stayed, why she put up with his constant insults. He didn’t have anyone else.

And now, after he saved the world, he was beating himself up for realizing his dreams. That at least she was not about to put up with.

So Shera waited outside of the Highwind for Cid to emerge.

Finally, the lights went off. She watched Cid descend the ladder from the hatch to the ground, forming the words in her mind that would either save the man or damn him.

"Cid," She began, cursing herself for not being forceful.

He acknowledged her presence, but said nothing.

"Cid, we need to talk."

He turned away, stalking toward the makeshift camp where those who remained from the party slept.

"Damn it Cid! Look at me!"

Hearing this normally passive woman yell was enough to make Cid turn in disbelief, guilt written plainly on his face.

Now that she was faced with the problem itself, Shera was at a loss as to how to deal with it. Somewhere in the flood of boiling emotions in her mind, a course of action was set.

She slapped him, hard.

"What did you do that for you bitch?" He screamed.

Shera assumed a smug expression, daring Cid’s anger to react further, "Nothing worse than what you were doing to yourself. God DAMN IT! So what if your beloved ship got smashed? You can build another one! You went into outer space for crying out loud! And even after all that, you helped save the world! Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"No one talks to me like that!" Cid’s voice had taken on a dangerous edge. For a paranoid moment Shera wondered if he had his spear with him.

"What are you gonna do about it? Hit me? Call me a bitch again? Damn! I wish you would, even that is better than the sulking you’ve been doing the last few days! What is it that has you so depressed?"

Cid’s expression grew furious, "THAT!" he cried, flailing his arm toward the ruins of Midgar. "Do you know how many people were there? Every single member of my crew had family in Midgar, kids even! We went to the northern continent to stop Midgar from being destroyed! We… we just weren’t good enough… not fast enough." Cid looked away, ashamed.

This was the greatest display of any emotion besides anger Shera had ever seen from this man. Remorse, regret, grief… these were things she was totally unprepared to deal with.

"What more could you have done?"

"I DON’T KNOW! Something, anything, maybe we did do our best, but damn it, IT WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH!"

"Think Cid, what would have happened if you weren’t there at all?" She did what every woman is born knowing how to do, she locked his eyes with hers, forcing him to admit the truth. For a long moment Cid could do nothing but stare at this woman, radiating defiance just as he knew she had been dying to do for years now.

"I know Shera," He said, anger drained, "But I can’t help but think there was something more we could have done…."

"Cid, you’re playing a game of ‘what if.’ I may be a dumb bitch," Cid winced at the reminder of his past treatment of his assistant, "But I know that playing that game can’t help anything." Her expression turned wistful, "You can’t change the past, no matter how much you want to. All you can do is atone, and move on."

Realization suddenly hit Cid, "All this time… after all I’ve done, you were just trying to apologize?"

Shera closed the distance between them, taking off her glasses and fixing him with a different look entirely, "My penance, Cid. I killed your dream. Now," Shera looked at her feet, "Maybe I’d like to give you a new one."

Before Cid could respond, Shera wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him into a loving kiss.