Uh, hi...

Well, I changed some stuff around for the better (hopefully), so C&C is
welcome, flames aren't.  If you actually care, Number 3 should be out
later this week.  :-)

Oh yeah, about my Evil Dead/Ranma fic... don't hold your breath.  My
original way of setting the whole situation up didn't sit well with a
few personal friends of mine, and I'm hard pressed for ideas.  Anyone
wanna give my brain a hand?  :-)

Anyways, onto the fic.
========================================================================
Two Fifty Seven:  A Piece of Ranma Fanfiction

Author's Notes:  Well, I've decided to make Ross's life in Nerima a 
living hell.  :-)  

Ross in cursed form is known as 'Hentai Ross'

This next little 'episode' is a doozy, so hang on and pay attention... 
C&C is welcome, and flames aren't.  As always, everything pertaining to 
Ranma 1/2 was created by Rumiko Takahashi and not me, so don't sue me
'cuz I'm poor. 


Enjoy. :-)
========================================================================

Two Fifty Seven:  A Piece of Ranma Fanfiction
Episode 2
Lost in a Perverted Land

"Come on Ranma, we're going to be late!"  Akane said, running down the 
street which led to Furinkan High School.  

"I know, I know... hey Ross, you comin' or what?"  Ranma looked over his 
shoulder while he was jogging to find the exchange student snoring 
against a fence.

"...airline food... doesn't sit well with ol' *zzz* Rossy..."  The boy 
muttered in his sleep.  Ranma turned around and yanked Ross from the 
fence, causing him to wake up.

"Geez, you act like you didn't get any sleep last night."  Ranma said, 
walking in front of Ross.

"I didn't.  After that little water incident, dinner came back to haunt 
me... big time."  Ross grimaced at the thought of the amount of time he 
spent in the bathroom last night.  "Man... that purple stuff even came 
out purple..."  Akane stiffened at that last remark, but kept on 
walking, which was a good thing for Ross Griffmoy.

"How far is it to..."

*SPLASH!!!*

Ross had been walking calmly down the street, when he was blindsided by 
cold water.  Hentai Ross looked around wickedly, and saw that an old 
lady who had been clearing out water with a pail accidentally splashed 
him.

"I don't like 'em old..."  Hentai Ross muttered, and looked down the 
street to notice Akane.  "Oh Akane, I... uh, wanna ask you somethin'."  

"What is it, Ross?"  Akane had made it to the front gates of  Furinkan 
High School, and was already headed in. Hentai Ross didn't care, though.

"Will you let me touch your br-"  Ranma clamped his hand over Ross's 
mouth before he had a chance to get himself hammered for free.

*BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP*

Ranma emptied the thermos of hot water over Ross's head, making him sane 
once again.  Ross looked at his hands quizzically, and kept on walking.

"It happened again, didn't it?"  Ross asked.

"Uh huh.  If I hadn't of stopped ya, she woulda knocked you into next 
week."

"Really?"

"Trust me."  Ranma said all too knowingly as the two finally made it to 
Furinkan.  They walked past the front gates as Ranma and Ross were still 
talking.

"I think I'm losing control."  Ross said.

"Huh?"  Ranma was confused.

"With my curse.  Yesterday I was able to stop myself, somewhat.  Now, I 
can't... if this happens today, I could be in deep trouble."  Ranma 
nodded.

"Well, I just hope you have better luck with water than I do... 
although, I usually get splashed where you did... ah, nevermind, let's 
go."  Ranma and Ross were ready to head inside when a voice stopped 
them.

"Who are you to accompany the lovely Akane Tendo?"  Tatewaki Kuno said 
from across the courtyard.  Ross, being the newcomer, turned around.

"Are you talking to me?"  

"Yes, heathen, I am talking to you."

"Why are you insulting me?  I didn't do nothing..." Ross said.  <Yet.>

"Akane Tendo need not be harassed by the perverted likes of you..."

"Give it a rest, Kuno."  Ranma said, placing his books to the side.  "If 
you wanna get your butt whooped AGAIN, just ask."

"I can handle this, Ranma."  Ross said, pausing to scratch his head.  
"Kuno... I don't know what you heard, but in no way am I a pervert.  
You've got me confused with someone else, I think."

"You make excuses for you know that you are wrong."  Kuno stated
flatly.  
"Now, apologize to the fair Akane before you suffer the Blue Thunder's 
wrath!"

*KRACKOOM!!!*

"Where the hell did that lightning come from?"  Ross wondered aloud.  
"I've got nothing to apologize about, Kuno.  I didn't do anything in the 
first place."

"Liars do not sit well with thee.  Before I make you suffer, it is only 
courtesy to ask of your name."  Kuno said, drawing his Kendo Sword.  
Ross gulped.

"Ross Griffmoy, exchange student from the United States of America."

"In that case, Ross... prepare to taste thy blade!!"  Kuno went into his 
multi slashing sword technique, and Ross ran.  He ran for dear life.

"HEY... STOP SWINGING THAT DAMN... WATCH WHERE THE HELL YOU'RE 
SWINGING... WHOA... OUTTA THE WAY, I NEED RUNNING ROOM!!!"

"He's running from KUNO?!"  Ranma said, very surprised.  Ross, in fact, 
was dodging Kuno's blows as well as he could, until he accidentally ran 
into someone who happened to be drinking a glass of water.

*SPLOOSH!*

Hentai Ross was pissed.  Someone had just called him a pervert, and he 
was, but he liked hiding it.  It made the girls heave and jiggle more 
when they got pissed and beat the crap out of him.  He turned around to 
face Kuno, looking VERY angry.

"You."  Hentai Ross growled.

"You shall refer to me as Upperclassman Kuno, Ross Griffmoy."  Kuno had 
dropped his fighting stance.  "Perhaps you 've decided to apologize to 
Akane Tendo... very well, I-"

"No, I haven't.  Hell, I was gonna squeeze those melons like I've never 
squeezed before."  The crowd gasped, and Kuno began to fill with rage, 
but Hentai Ross didn't care.  "But that's besides the point, 'cuz her 
hooters are always gonna be around, so I can squeeze them whenever I get 
the chance.  Kuno... Blue Thunder, Red Lightning, Purple Star..."

"That's Shooting Star, naive."

"Whatever.  Here's the deal... you cross Ross Griffmoy, I open up a 
special brew of Grade A whoopass just for you.  Ok?"  Kuno growled with 
rage.  No one had ever insulted him in such a manner, except for Ranma, 
but he was pretty much used to that.  No, Kuno was angry because this 
newcomer, this _exchange student_ had insulted him on his first day.   
And the Blue Thunder was ready to make him pay.  He did not announce his 
attack, but he didn't need to.  Ross's regular personality kicked in for 
a split second, 
as he took off running.  

"You shall not escape the wrath of the OOF!!!"

"Oof?  Who the hell is the 'oof'?  Hentai Ross said, noticing that Ranma 
planted his foot right in between Kuno's eyes.

"Saotome... you... fiend."  Kuno muttered between the sole of Ranma's 
shoe, right before he passed out.

"Kuno... get a life."  

"Thanks Ranma, but I coulda taken the sword swinging freak out *snap* 
just like that with my lightning 
quick hands... just ask the ladies."  Hentai Ross stated.

"Yeah right... you were too busy runnin’ from Kuno to even swing at 
him."  Ranma said, walking up to 
his friend.  Hentai Ross then noticed the crowd of girls which had 
gathered to watch the action.  He began 
to drool.

"Hey ladies... can I get some?"  Hentai Ross asked, arms outstretched, 
with a lecherous leer on his face.  He was promptly flattened for his 
attempt.

"Oh man... that will DEFINITELY leave a mark..."  Ranma muttered as he 
went to help his friend.

----------------------------------

Twenty minutes and some hot water later....

"Today class-"  Miss Hinako was cut off as Ranma Saotome and Ross 
Griffmoy burst in the room.  Ross was still dripping wet from his hot 
water encounter, and his 'nWo' t-shirt had a few rips thanks to getting 
pounded by a few girls.

"Go stand in the hall!"  Ross looked at the little teacher... and 
laughed.

"Oh man... you gotta be, what, eight years old?  Am I on Candid Camera?"

"Ross, watch it man, you don't know what you're up against..."  Ranma 
warned him.

"Huh?  What's gonna happen?  Is green slime gonna fall on me or 
something?  Hey... whatcha doin'?" Miss Hinako had pulled out a 5 cent 
yen piece...

"We'll stand outside teach, no problem!!"  Ranma yanked Ross outside the 
classroom, and in a few moments, both were holding up buckets of water.

"What was gonna happen?"  Ross asked.

"Well, you woulda got old and withered and real weak... it's kinda hard 
to explain.  What she does is she drains your chi and uses it to make 
herself look older.  It really sucks when you get hit with it..."

"I see... well, thanks for getting me out of there.  Oh yeah, sorry 
about making you late."

"Don't worry about it.  It's not the first time... wait a sec..."

"RANMA SAOTOME, PREPARE TO DIE!!!" A furious Ryoga Hibiki yelled before 
breaking through a nearby wall.

"What'd I do now?!"  Ranma yelled as he dodged a few of Ryoga's lethal 
bandannas.  Water went flying left and right, and Ross frantically 
dropped his bucket out an open window before diving some ten feet away 
from the carnage.  He then curled up into a little ball, away from the 
water, not wanting to be cursed again.

"Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned..."  Ross began.

"Geez Ryoga... calm down... I sure whatever happened I didn't do it!!"  
Ranma frantically said.

"You have made my life a living hell, Saotome!!"  Ryoga yelled.  "You 
are-"  Ryoga ducked a half full bucket of water which Ranma threw at 
him, and prepared to attack again.

"Why?"  Ross asked, still on the floor curled up in his little ball.

"Who are you?"  Ryoga asked.   Ross sat up and looked at the scene while 
Ranma was glad that Ryoga wasn't in his berzerker rage at the moment.

"Ross Griffmoy, exchange student."

"Oh... well anyway, what do you care?  You didn't have you life ruined 
by this... this CAD!!"  Ryoga exclaimed, jabbing a finger at Ranma.

"What exactly did he do?"  

"He... uh, well, there's that time when he... and then there's..."  
Ryoga was sure he had a good incident to recall when Ranma ruined his 
life, but he didn't quite remember what it was.  "I just remembered what 
it was... ah, nevermind."   Ryoga sat down on the floor, while Ranma had 
a weird look on his face.

<Hey, he actually got Ryoga to calm down.  That was kinda cool.>  Ranma 
thought.

"Man, it's only been two days, and already I've been whacked by a 
hammer, attacked by a freaky kendo sword carrying freak, and stomped by 
a pack of girls..."  Ross sat up and leaned up against the wall.  "It's 
a lot more exciting than back home."

"Heh...  that's not that much."  Ranma stated.

"You'd know, Ranma."  Ryoga said.

"So, Ryoga, what's with the backpack?"  Ross asked.

"Well... I kinda get lost a lot."  Ryoga said sheepishly.

"A lot?  Hell, you get lost goin' to the bathroom."  Ranma added.

"Shut up, Ranma."  Ross laughed at that remark, and the three talked 
until Miss Hinako let Ranma and Ross back into class.  Ryoga got blasted 
by Miss Hinako after being called a delinquent for attacking Ranma in 
the hallway.  It seems Miss Hinako had heard it when the Eternal Lost 
Boy came through the wall.

"Class,"  Miss Hinako began, "we have a new student today, and he is 
from America.  Please welcome Ross Griffmoy."  Ross gave a meager wave, 
while some of the girls whispered 'Pervert' back and forth.  Ross 
frowned.

"I was hoping he wouldn't be a delinquent, but he's already arrived late 
along with Ranma Saotome."  Ross frowned again, while Ranma just looked 
around.  "Ross, you can take a seat in between Ranma and Akane."  Ross 
walked to his seat, and prepared for the lesson to go on.

It went by pretty fast.

Before Ross knew it, it was lunch time, and everyone gathered in the 
courtyard to eat.

"Damn, no lunch for me."  Ross muttered.

"Don't worry, I brought you leftovers from last night!"  Akane said 
cheerfully.  Ranma gulped as Ross was handed his 'food'.  

"Gee... thanks, Akane."  Ross said, tossing on a smile.  <Why... I had 
major bladder problems last time... this is gonna suck bigtime.>  Ross 
took a deep breath and shoveled in his food as fast as he could, hoping 
not to taste it at all.  Then, it got stuck on the way down.

"Gaaaa... *cough cough* ...whoa... what a rush."  Ross began to stare 
blankly at the ground until a person tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hiya Ross!"  Ross turned around slowly, and cocked an eyebrow.

"Hey Ucchan!!"  Ranma said, which caused Ross to be even more confused 
in his Akane-meal induced state.

"Ranma,"  Ross began, "Ukyo's a girl."

"I dress up like a guy at school... it's a long story."  Ukyo said, and 
Ross nodded.

"Whoa... I gotta go to the bathroom."  Ross said, feeling the meal he 
just ate come back to haunt him... again.  Ross walked off and headed 
for the bathroom, but not before he noticed something...

"BWEEE!!"  A black pig clad in a black and yellow bandanna squealed.  
Ross looked at it wide eyed.

"Hey there pig, whatcha doin' on school grounds?" 

"BWEE BWEEE BWEEEEEE!!!"  The pig squealed again, pointing his snout 
over to a familiar backpack and an umbrella.

"Hey... that looks like Ryoga's backpack... I wonder if that's his 
umbrella too?"  Ross lifted the backpack easy, but his face slammed into 
the ground when he went for the umbrella.  He decided to leave it alone.

"Ok pig, I gotta go find Ryoga and get him his stuff..."  Ross's bowels 
began to move as he spoke.  "AFTER I go to the bathroom."  Ross stalked 
off to the bathroom, with the little black pig following him.

Fifteen minutes later...

"Whew... thought I was gonna die."  Ross muttered as he exited the 
bathroom stall.  He almost fell on his face again as he noticed the 
little black pig in the bathroom with him.

"What the?!  Ah, I've seen it all already..."  Ross flicked on the hot 
water in the sink, but his watch fell off.  "Damn watch..."  Ross bent 
down to pick it up, as the little pig scampered up onto his back, and in 
the sink.

"What in the... OH MY GOD!!!"  Ross immediately hit the floor again, as 
Ryoga was buck naked in the sink. "Damnit man, put some clothes on!!  
How the hell did you get in the sink anyway?!  What happened 
to that pig?!"

"Can you just hand me my backpack?"  Ryoga said, his face a beet red 
color.  Ross tossed the boy his backpack, and turned away.

"Lemme guess... Jusenkyou."  Ross said.

"Yeah... how'd you know?" 

"Been there.  Fell in.  Got a curse.  It sucks."  

"Really?!  What do you turn into?"

"I'm too ashamed to say..."

"It can't be worse than a pig!  I hate pigs!!"

"I turn into a pervert..."

"Yikes... that is bad.   That would explain you getting pounded, huh?" 
Ryoga was finished putting on his extra set of clothes, and Ross turned 
around again.

"Yep...I think I'd better head back now..."  Ross headed out the 
bathroom, and Ryoga followed behind him.  The day generally went on 
without incident, as Ross avoided cold water throughout the day.  Soon 
after they returned home, Ranma and Ross went to the dojo.  After a good 
amount of stretching on Ross's part, the fun was ready to begin.

"Ok Ross, I'm gonna try and teach you the basics..."

"Gotcha."  Ranma went to demonstrate a simple side kick, and Ross went 
for it.

"Ok, that was good, but you want to make sure you rotate your hip
more."  
Ross executed the kick, but Ranma kept asking for him to rotate his hip 
more.

"More."

"Ok..."

"More."

"Ok..."

"Just a little bit more..."

"O-"

*KRACK!!*

"O--ouch.  Is it supposed to hurt like this?"

"That means you're doing it right.  Execute you kicks like that every 
time, ok?"  Ross still had his leg in the air, but he slowly lowered it.

"All right.  What next?"

"More kicks..."  For the next few hours, Ross was able to perfect his 
kicks somewhat, with Ranma egging him on.  After his first lesson was 
done, Ross was ready for some food.

"Dinner's ready, everyone!!"  Kasumi said.  Ross and Ranma both ran to 
the dinner table, sat down, and surveyed the area.  Genma looked poised 
with his chopsticks, but both Ranma and Ross knew that he wouldn't be 
too much of a problem.  This dinner was theirs.

"Enjoy!!"  Kasumi said cheerfully as she set down the dinner for the 
day.  In approximately ten minutes, it was gone.  Some of the things you 
would have heard in the whirlwind that was known as dinner were:

"Gimme some... hey, wait, nevermind..."

"Gimme back my shrimp, old man!!"

"All's fair in food and-- Ross, what do you think you're doing?"

"I'm eating shrimp. It's good by the way."

"Thank you, Ross."

"Is it all gone yet?"

"Yeah, I think so... wait, there's still some rice left.  Anybody want 
any?"

After that last comment, approximately three people facefaulted, while 
Kasumi just smiled.

-----------------------------------

"Ah, nothin' beats a good dinner, eh Ross?"  Ranma said, plopping down 
in front of the TV.  Ross stretched out and took up half of the couch.

"You got that right.  So, is there anybody else I should meet?"

"Well, you've met Kuno, Ryoga, Miss Hinako... oh yeah, Akane's other 
sister, Nabiki, should be home soon.  I think she was out on business 
when you got here."

"Business?  What does she do?"

"Exortion, blackmail, basically anything involving money."

"...ok."  Just then, Soun Tendo called Ross to come see him.  Ross 
hopped off the couch, and went to see what was up.

"Ross, this is my middle daughter, Nabiki."  

"Hi, Nabiki."  Ross smiled, but inside he felt like he was been
x-rayed.  
<Geez, if she stares at me any harder, she'll see through the wall or 
something.>

"So, Ross, where exactly are you from?  Daddy told me you were an 
exchange student, but he didn't say from where."  

"Maryland."

"Any interesting stories about Maryland?"  Ross cocked an eyebrow at the 
question, but shook his head.  Nabiki looked almost disappointed at the 
fact that Ross's answer was a no.  Nabiki then walked off, leaving Ross 
confused.  <Maybe she went to take care of more business or something.>  
Ross shrugged and headed back to the TV.

"I just met Nabiki."  Ross said to Ranma as he plopped back on the 
couch.  Ranma was watching some show with girls in little sailor fukus.

"Did you tell her anything?" 

"Where I lived.  After that she was uninterested."

"Good.  As long as she doesn't know about your curse, she probably won't 
mess with ya... wait, I take that back.  Just watch out, ok?"

"Ok."  Just then, Akane came down the stairs.

"Ranma, have you seen P-Chan?"

"Nope, haven't seen the pig all day."

"BWEEE?"  As if on cue, P-Chan appeared outside, looking around like he 
was lost.  He probably was.  Ross noticed the bandanna around the pig's 
neck, and immediately put two and two together.

"Hey Ranma, that's Ry-"  Ranma leaped over and clamped his hand over 
Ross's mouth.

"That's right, that's P-Chan... GET IT?  It's _P-Chan_."  Ranma added 
several elbows to Ross's ribcage to get his point across. Slowly, Ross 
got the point.

"Uh huh... yeah, P-Chan."  Ross scratched his head, as P-Chan scampered 
up in Akane's arms and the two of them headed back upstairs.  Ross 
waited a few moments after she was gone, and then spoke.

"She doesn't know?!"  

"Nope, and you can't tell her either.  It's an honor thing, ok?"

"Ok... well, I guess I'd better go take a bath.  See ya later."  Ross 
walked upstairs.

"Be sure to knock first!"  Ranma called after him.  Ross nodded, and 
continued upstairs.  He walked to the bathroom door, and rapped on it a 
few times just to make sure, then walked in.

"Empty.  Well..." Ross filled up a nearby bucket with cold water, and 
took a deep breath.  <I gotta control it... here goes nothing.>

*SPLASH*

Hentai Ross didn't like it when his sane side wanted to be in control.  
It wasn't fun for him.

"Hey... what's this?"  Hentai Ross said, noticing a pair of panties 
laying on the floor. It was almost as if someone had placed them there 
on purpose, but that didn't matter to him.  He put them on his head,  
making sure that he could see out the leg openings.

"Now this... this is the life..."  Hentai Ross muttered, and then he 
suddenly yanked them off his head.

"QUIT IT!!!"  Ross yelled regularly.  <Damn, my voice even changes when 
I'm cursed.>

"No, why are you always ruining my fun?"  Ross's curse kicked back in, 
and to his surprise, he smacked himself in the face.

"I don't believe this!!  I'm beating myself up over a pair of 
PANTIES!!!"  Ross yelled, as he made his way to the hot water tap.

"Oh no you don't!!" Ross slugged himself in the stomach, and slammed his 
own head into the sink.

"Owie... this sucks..."  Ross groggily muttered, as his hands grabbed 
the pair of panties and tried to strangle himself.

"Quit trying to take control!!  All I wanna do is have fun, grab 
hooters, steal panties, and grab more hooters!!"  Hentai Ross said while 
choking himself out.  He then dropped the panties, and scampered to the 
hot water tap to try again.

"Almost there..."  Ross turned on the hot water tap successfully, and 
forcefully stuck his head underneath, neutralizing the curse.

"Damn... better avoid cold water as much as I can."  Ross filled the 
bath full of hot water, hastily took of his clothes, and hopped in.  
<It's going to be a long year....>  he reminded himself.




[END]


Next Episode:

Ross takes a trip to Dr. Tofu's to find out the true side effects of his 
curse, and he also stops by the Nekohanten... plus, Ranma lets him know 
about his fiancée problem...


--Adam Griffin
http://www.griffworld.com

BOOKMARK IT OR SOMETHING!  :-)