Tenchi-Muyo!  An Outland-ish proposal
by Achariyth

Note: Tenchi-Muyo! and characters are owned by A.I.C. and Pioneer 
and this situation, gleamed from Outland, was the original 
brainchild and present property of Berke Breathed.
This is a work of fan fiction not intended to be used for my
specific profit.  Remember, imitation is the highest form of
flattery!  Oh, and all Outland fans should read "Politically, 
Fashionably, and Aerodynamically Incorrect" and find the hunted lawyers
strip before you read this.

   Tenchi Masaki crouched down behind a bush bordering one
of his grandfather's many carrot fields.  "How did I let Washu
talk me into this?" he asked himself, not for the first time, 
as he tried to stay out of sight.  He turned to his left to 
face Washu, who was likewise hiding, laying in wait for some-
thing.  She frantically typed on her holocomputer, using it 
to scan the surrounding area.  Tenchi was startled to find a 
small energy pistol holstered on Washu's hip.
   "Uh, Little Washu, what exactly are we doing here?" Tenchi     
asked.
   "That's simple.  We're hunting," the twenty thousand year
old genius replied, not looking up from her computer.  Wahsu
smiled to herself as she found what she was looking for on the
display.
   "For what?"  Tenchi asked.  "The only animal eating carrots
around here is Ryo-ohki."
   "You'll see," Washu replied sweetly but not innocently.
   Tenchi began to worry.  "I didn't think any large animals
roam around here."
   "That's why we're using live bait," Washu giggled.
   "Why don't I like the sound of this?" Tenchi groaned deject-
edly.  "Uh, Little Washu, what bait?" he asked, sweating ner-
vously.  He wondered if that was the reason why Washu insisted
he accompany her on this little jaunt of hers.
   As a response to Tenchi's question, Washu pointed lazily to
the center of the closest field where a black subspace portal
opened, dropping Ryoko, Mihoshi, and Kiyone upon the field be-
low.  All three had their arms tied and were lashed togther by
a length of thick rope.  Tenchi wondered why Ryoko did not 
phase out of her bonds, until he remembered that Washu probably
was preventing her daughter from escaping.
   "Oh, Kiyone, look at the pretty birds over there," Mihoshi 
gushed.
   "Would you shut up and help me get out of this mess?" Kiyone
yelled angrily at her partner.  She tried to loosen one of her 
bonds, cursing Washu's knowledge of strong and exotic knots.
   Ryoko fumed silently, cursing at her mother through their
shared link.
   "What!  Little Washu, you can't be serious!"  Tenchi gasped
in surprise.
   "Don't worry.  They won't be in too much danger."
   Tenchi groaned.  "Where's Ayeka and Sasami?" he whispered.
   "Sasami's cooking dinner, and Ayeka..." Washu snickered be-
fore finishing.  "Ayeka's occupied."
   Inside the Masaki residence, Ayeka, Princess of Jurai, nor-
mally clothed in finery, inched her way closer to a sharp edge.
She needed to cut through the sheet that Washu had used to gag
and bind her.  As soon as she freed herself, Ayeka would rescue
her Tenchi from the schemes of that mad woman Washu.  Who knew 
the vile things that mad woman had in store for him?
   Ryoko switched from mentally berating her mother to verbal
abuse.  "Washu, when I get my hands on you..."  Ryoko then 
began to describe the many different types of pain that she'd
inflict on Washu before the day was over.
   Washu did not bat an eye.  "Pipe down, will you.  I'm lis-
tening for something."
   Ryoko's grumbling defiantly increased in volume.
   A bush rustled nosily in the background.  All animals in the
area fell silent, trying to slink away from the threat nearby.
The three women in the field stared at the bush apprehensively,
holding their breath.
   "Kiyone, I'm scared," Mihoshi squealed, backing away from 
the bush and onto Ryoko.
   "Hey!  Get off of me," Ryoko protested angrily.
   Behind her bush, Washu smiled, pleased with what her displays
told her about the animal in question.  "Its exactly what I sur-
mised!" she exclaimed.
   "What is it, Little Washu?" Tenchi asked.  He prepared to run
or help his friends escape if the creature was too dangerous.  
"Is it a bear? or a tiger?"
   "No, Tenchi, its something more terrifying than either," she
said ominously, unholstering her sidearm.  "But its no threat 
to the greatest mind in the universe," she finished in her usual
cocky manner.
   The bush rustled again.  Slowly, hesitantly, something left 
the saftey of the brush to venture out into the field.  It wan-
dered around, searching for its prey.
   Ryoko and Kiyone gasped at the sight of the creature.  They
redoubled their efforts to escape.  Mihoshi cried in fright,
clinging to Kiyone, frustrating Kiyone's attempts to escape.
   "You're right, Washu.  It is more terrifying than a bear,"
Tenchi gulped, not sure of what to do.
   "It" was a six foot Caucasian male with short blonde hair, 
brown eyes, a light tan, and wearing a Dragonball Z T-shirt and
jeans.  In his left hand, he held a small spiral notebook inside
which he wrote various ideas, good or otherwise.
   Mihoshi screamed.  "It's a fanfic writer.  Someone save me!"
   Washu aimed her pistol at the writer.
   "Let's see, what would happen if Ranma and Co. were to wander
in to Bloom County?" the slightly derranged (to even suggest 
this crossover) writer thought out loud.  Then he saw the girls.
   "What do we have here?"  he asked as his gaze rested upon the
struggling trio.  "Hi gals.  Listen, I know that you've been
busy working on Shin Tenchi-Muyo!, but if you want a change of
pace, I'm working on a series of Saturday Night Live crossover
sketches for your cast, amongst other ideas."  The last comment
was directed towards Kiyone, accompanied by a lecherous look. 
Kiyone blanched in fright and struggled all the more intensely to 
escape before he could tell about his... other ideas.
   BLAM!!  The field in front of Tenchi dissapeared in a flash of
light and heat.  The trio was thrown by the shock wave, and came
crashing down, stunned, in another field.  Ryoko took the brunt
of the landing, unintentionly cushioning Kiyone and Mihoshi.  It
would be a while before any of them recovered their senses.
   Tenchi waited for the last echo to fade before opening his 
eyes again.  He saw Washu load a new energy cell into her pistol.
Then he looked at the field.  The scene was apalling.  The damage 
to the field resembled the damage caused by the Mass when they 
attacked Ryoko.  Caught in the center of the blast was the 
stunned writer, who resembled Wile E. Coyote after many a mishap with 
dynamite.  His pen and notebook, both charred to ash, crumbled 
to the ground.  Tenchi thought he heard the writer squeak "Did 
anyone get the liscense of that semi?" before the luckless writer
collasped comically in another imitation of the Coyote.
   "I got him," Washu exclaimed triumphantly.
   "Little Washu, was this necessary?" Tenchi wondered aloud.
   "Of course,"  she snickered.  "It's essential to control the 
population of this species."

Author's notes-
    Well, this, you could say, is a re-release of this fic.  Nothing's 
been changed, but I'm putting this up on the FFML since I first 
posted it to the RAAC half a year ago.  So have fun!  MST this if
you wish.  Just don't flame me about the ending.  Oh, and the fic
writer is not supposed to be anyone in particular.

Achariyth