Hiya!
All of you who are just itching to add to this thread...don't bother. Not
only is this going to end nowhere that would either be helpful or
discouraging towards fanfics or fanfiction writing, everyone here at least
agrees on the basic principle...original authors, please don't sue us. ^_^
To make my point across....
[Inside the Tendo dojo, a huge crowd of people had unceremoniuosly and
uninvitedly gathered.]
Ranma: What's all the fuss about?
Akane: I don't know? When I woke up this morning they were coming in
droves.
Nabiki: Somebody must know something.
Kasumi: Oh, my. We ran out of tea.
Soun: Saotome, I saw your wife somewhere in the crowd.
Genma: That's not as bad as what I saw.
Soun: Huh? What could be worse?
Genma: I saw your wife a few minutes ago.
Soun: What?!! [faints]
Kimiko: [Soun's wife] Oh, dear. Soun is that you?
Soun: [gagging] Ki...Kimi...
[Somewhere else in the crowd]
Ryoga: Akane? Where in the world are you?
Ukyou: Ran-chan! Ran-chan!
Ryoga: Any luck?
Ukyou: Nope. [tosses Tsubasa out of her way] Ran-chan!
Shampoo: Why is spatula-girl doing here?
Ukyou: What are _you_ doing here?
Shampoo: Shampoo doesn't know.
Mousse: Shampoo!! My darling! [grabs someone]
Kodachi: OHOHOHOHOH!!! Get off me you goof!!
Mousse: Oops.
Cologne: Has anyone seen Happy around?
[Back to where Ranma and Akane were]
Ranma: Gambling king, Mikado, Ryu, Jasmine is here too.
Akane: Hey, isn't that Shinnosuke?
Ranma: [frowns] Gee...him too. It's like everyone I know is here.
Shinnosuke: Um, excuse me. But who are you? What are you doing in my
home?
Akane: [giggles] Shinnosuke, this ain't Ryugenzawa. You're in Nerima now.
Shinnosuke: Oh, that's right. I've come to seek the hand of Akane.
Ranma: Too late for that, Shinnosuke. [keeping his cool]
Akane: [giggle] That's right I'm already engaged to Ranma.
Shinnosuke: Are you Akane Tendo?
Akane: [mood swings] BAKA! [pulls out her hammer and tosses Shinnosuke
back into the crowd]
Ranma: <Whew. And I thought she was in a good mood this morning.>
Happosai: Ranma! My darling! [glomps at Ranma but is quickly tossed
aside]
Ranma: Hey, old man. I heard you had something to do with all of this.
Happosai: Huh? Oh you mean the crowd.
Akane: No, he means Santa Clause and the Rudolf! Of course the crowd!
Soun: [recovering] My Wife! [cries] I've long to see your kind face
again.
Kimiko: I'm here now, Soun.
Ranma: [notices Soun and Kimiko] Hey, Akane. Isn't that your mom.
Akane: [looks at her father] Mom? Oh, my god. [runs] Mommy!
Nabiki: Mommy? [sees her mother] Holly sh...Mother. [runs]
Kasumi: Eh, Nabiki. I need your help here with the tea.
Nodoka: Let them be. I'm sure they're just happy to see their mother
again.
Kasumi: Again? Did she leave us?
Nodoka: Why, yes dear. Almost ten years ago.
Ukyou: Finally, someone I know. Hello Kasumi.
Kasumi: Oh, hello, Ukyou.
Nodoka: Hello Ukyou.
Ukyou: Mrs. Saotome! I didn't realize you'd be here too.
Nodoka: No one seems to be not here, Kounji-san.
Shampoo: [barreling her way] Where is my Ran-chan?!
Ukyou: Isn't that my line?
Shampoo: Oops. Where is airen?
Cologne: Happy! Finally!
Happosai: Did you bring your part of the jewel?
Cologne: Of course! What do you think?
Happosai: Good, then maybe we can all start.
[Where Soun, Akane, Nabiki and Kimiko are]
Soun: Oh, this is such a beautiful reunion.
Akane: [hugging Kimiko] Oh, mom. It's so good to see you again.
Nabiki: Same here mother.
Kimiko: I'm happy to see you again.
Ranma: Its nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Tendo.
Kimiko: Why, thank you...but who are you anyway?
Akane: Mom, this is Ranma....he's my fiancé.
Kimiko: Fiancé? Aren't you a bit too young to have a fiancé, Akane?
Nabiki: Blame Daddy, Mom. He made a arrangement with Mr. Saotome.
Soun: [gulp] Um..I can explain, Kimiko.
Kimiko: Soun! Why you...insensitive ingrate!! If I had not passed away
surely this would not have happened.
Ranma: Relax Mrs. Tendo. I love..um...I mean...
Akane: [gasp] Ranma? What are you saying?
Ranma: I love your daughter, Mrs. Tendo. And I think she loves me too.
Akane: Ranma? You said it..you love me.
Kimiko: Oh...in that case.. you have my blessings, Ranma.
Ranma: Hard to believe, eh? But's its true.
Akane: Oh, Ranma. I love you too. [they hug and kiss]
[Lots of people cheer]
Shampoo: Pervert Violent Girl get off my airen!!!
Ukyou: Hey, what's the meaning of this? Ran-chan! Explain yourself.
Ryoga: Ranma!!!
Kuno: [rising above the crowd somewhere in the back] My pigtailed
Goddess! She has to be here!
Ranma: Huh?
Akane: Gee...when will they ever stop harrasing us.
[A crackle of speakers is heard above the voices of the crowd]
Happosai: Attention! Attention! The wishing ceremony is about to begin.
Cologne: Will everyone that needs a wish form a line.
[The crowd is stunned for a moment]
Happosai: This is true, folks. We have the infamous "Wishing Jewel" here
that grants an umlimited amount of wishes. Provided that you hand over
your undergarments...[WHAM!]
Cologne: Ignore him, ladies. Anyway...we are granting everyone one
wish...so if you need something, this is the perfect time to do it.
Happosai: [groaning] AHhh!
[Everyone finally gives in and forms one long line that encircles the
whole Tendo dojo several times over]
Shinnosuke: Um...what am I doing here?
Cologne: Do you have anything to wish for?
Shinnosuke: Wish? All I want is to be back in Ryugenzawa. [poof! He
disappeared]
Cologne: Next.
[Hours later]
Ranma: [steps up to Cologne] My turn, at last.
Cologne: Ah, son-in-law. You wishing for my Shampoo?
Ranma: Not in a million years, old ghoul. I came to wish I never had the
curse.
Cologne: Well, it was worth the try.
Ranma: Um..what do I do anyway?
Cologne: Next.
Ranma: Hey!
Cologne: You already made the wish, Ranma.
Ranma: Really? [runs towards the bath] This I've got to see.
Akane: [steps up] I wish that I'll always have Ranma.
Happosai: [hears a vibrating sound from the jewel] Um..sorry Akane. The
jewel refused your wish, try something else.
Akane: Hey! I thought it will grant any wish?
Cologne: Grants those that's not already granted, Akane Tendo.
Akane: [blushes] Oh...in that case I wish to be able to cook.
Happosai: Oh, oh. Jewel can't grant impossibilities too...
Akane: What?!!!
Happosai: Just kidding. Next.
Akane: [runs towards the kitchen] This I've got to see. [stumbles on a
wet but male Ranma] Huh?
Ranma: Akane, I'm cured!
Akane: [hugs] Me too.
Ranma: Really? You mean you can cook now?
Akane: Let me make you something in the kitchen.
Ukyou: [steps up] I wish to have Ran-chan for myself.
Cologne: No can do, Kounji-san. He's already taken.
Ukyou: Hey! I made my wish, grant it!
Happosai: Ok, if you insist. [the jewel glows then...]
Ranma: [suddenly appears] What the? Why am I doing back out here?
Ukyou: Ran-chan! You're mine. [hugs Ranma]
Ranma: Ucchan?! [breaks off] What's wrong?
Ukyou: You're all mine, Ran-chan. Now, we can start a family.
Ranma: But...Ucchan. I love Akane. I can't marry you, if I love someone
else.
Ukyou: No!!! This can't be...[cries] I wished for you...why?
Cologne: Jewel says it will grant you another wish, Ukyou. You must wish
for something else than for Ranma.
Ukyou: [regains her composure] Ok. [turns to Ranma] I will always love
you, Ran-chan.
Ranma: [sigh] I know. [turns back towards the kitchen]
Ukyou: [Ok] I wish for another Ran-chan, but this Ranma will only love
me.
[Poof! A duplicate Ranma appears in front of her]
Ranma2: Ucchan! I love you.
Ukyou: [grins] Much better. [leaves with her Ranma]
Shampoo: Great-grandmother, why does she have Ranma?
Cologne: You must use your wish wisely, Shampoo. Choose between your
curse or another Ranma.
Shampoo: [sigh] I wish to be rid of the curse...and have a Ranma too.
Happosai: Huh? Hey, you're in luck. The jewel considered that one wish.
[Poof. Another Ranma appears]
Shampoo: Airen!
Ranma3: Shampoo!
Cologne: Next.
Ryoga: I wish to be rid of my curse.
Cologne: Next.
Ryoga: Wait...I want to wish for an Akane for myself.
Happosai: Next.
Ryoga: Wait.
Kodachi: Um...I want to be rid of my insane laughter.
Cologne: So you do realize it.
Happosai: Next.
Kodachi: Can I get a Ranma too?
Cologne: No.
Kuno: [steps up] I want my pigtail goddess!
Happosai: Sorry, she's taken already.
Kuno: Very well, I want another pigtailed goddess for my own.
[Poof! A fourth Ranma appeared]
Kuno: Ack! Why do I have another Ranma?
Cologne: You asked for your pigtailed goddess.
Happosai: If you don't want her, I'll take her.
Kuno: But...this is Ranma?
Ranma4: [splashes himself with water] Oh, no I'm not. I'm your pigtailed
goddess!
Kuno: What?
Ranma4: Let's go, kuno-baby.
Kuno: A transvestite? Could it be?
Nabiki: [steps up but stares at Ranma4-chan and Kuno] Unbelievable.
Cologne: What do you wish for Nabiki?
Nabiki: [grins] What else?
[Poof! A big filofax drops on her hands]
Happosai: What is that? A notebook?
Nabiki: [laughs] Don't make me laugh. [opens the filofax and it
literally burst out with a huge line of credit cards] Unlimited credit!
Forever.
Kasumi: [steps up] Can I wish for a husband?
Cologne: Why?
Kasumi: [whispers to Cologne] ...
Cologne: I understand...[giggles]
Happosai: What did she tell you?
Cologne: You'll just faint, pervert.
Mousse: Can I wish for my sight be restored and a Shampoo for my own.
Cologne: Oh, well...
[Hours later everyone is happily partying in the Tendo dojo. Everyone had
been cured or his or her wish granted. And Happosai and Cologne are about
to wrap up the wishing queue]
Happosai: Next.
Cologne: Is this the last?
Happosai: Almost.
Soun: I...wish for a son.
Genma: Hey...what's the big idea.
Soun: I just want a son...but Ranma will still inherit the dojo, Saotome.
Genma: Well in that case.
Happosai: Sorry. You already have a wife for that.
Soun: Oh, yeah. In that case...I want to be able to beat my old master.
Happosai: Grante...hey wait a sec.
Soun: Too late! [brawls]
Happosai: Arrrrgh!
Genma: I wish to be rid of the curse.
Cologne: Granted. Whew...last one.
[A woman, with long dark hair and glasses steps up to Cologne]
Cologne: And what would your wish be?
Woman: I wish...
[Everyone stares at her, as if they know her]
Ranma: Hey, isn't that... [while eating Akane's cooking]
Akane: I know her. But...
Woman: I wish all previous wishes were not granted.
[An uproar filled the dojo, and everyone's wishes fell through]
Ranma: What?....Ack! What in the world is this that I'm eating?
Akane: You mean it's awful again?
Ryoga: Bwee!
Ukyou: Hey! No fair!
Shampoo: Who took airen from me?
Kodachi: OOHOHOHOHOH! Oh, oh.
Mousse: Ooops..sorry I thought you were Shampoo.
Kasumi: [comes out of the bedroom] Oh, my. Just when I was having fun.
Nabiki: [falls on her knees] NO!! This can't be.
Kuno: My pigtailed goddess? Bah...who needs her...she's a man inside.
Akane, my fair Akane.
Genma: Grawl
Nodoka: Genma? Why did you turn into a panda?
Soun: Where is my wife? Kimiko?
Kimiko: Soun, I've got to go now. Happosai wished for me to be alive
again, but since the wishes had been cancelled I have to go back.
Soun: What? My old mentor wished for you to be back alive. I ...
Kimiko: We'll see each other again. [vanishes]
Soun: No! Who's responsible for this!
Ranma: Hey! You! Where do you think you're going?
Woman: I'm going back to the real world now, Ranma.
Akane: Why did you cancel all of our wishes?
Woman: They were infringing on copyrights, Akane. Besides, Ranma 1/2
wouldn't be funny anymore if everyone were normal.
Ukyou: But...we were all happy!
Shampoo: True! Shampoo had never been happier in my life.
Woman: Sorry guys. Hey, look on the bright side. There are a lot of
folks out there writing fanfics about the lives you just had a while ago.
[Poof! She vanishes]
Ranma: Oh, well. [brings out a gift and hands it to Akane] Merry
Christmas, anyway.
Akane: A gift? What is this for. [unwraps it and reveals a sponge mallet]
Ranma?!!
Ranma: I just thought you needed the upgrade.
Woman: [reappears] I'll take that... that too infringes on copyrights.
Akane: Hey. This is mine...[whack the woman with the sponge mallet]
Eeeps. Ranma this doesn't hurt at all.
Ranma: I know. [grins]
Akane: BAKA!!! Die Ranma! [giggles as she continuously pounds Ranma on
the head]
Ranma: Ouch. Ouch. [chuckling as he makes the illusion that he's suppose
to be hurt]
Akane: Had enought? [laughs]
Ranma: Nope. [laughs]
Woman: Gee...These guys are nuttier than I thought. [Poof! She vanishes]
[The End]
-----
Notes:
Ok, laugh your ass out if you want...but don't blame me if you get a
hernia, or something.
Disclaimer: All characters are not mine, but are those in Ranma 1/2,
created by Rumiko Takahashi, copyrighted by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogukan
Inc. Kitty Films, Viz Comics, Viz Inc. etc...
Please don't sue ^_^