R1/2 -- [Part 5]
Well, at least you're still here. The last chapter was a little wierd,
and it didn't have the action I planned for. But it's not my fault! It's
my co-author! He's getting out of control.... (OLD VOICE: That's quite
enough! That last chapter was a little dry in my opinion. Now move over,
Sonny, and let me show you what a real master can do. Ready? Here we go....)
-----------====================------------
| An Iron Dagger Production |
-----------====================------------
"Pop! I know you're in here somewhere! There's no use hiding!" Ranma
stalked around the dining room, keeping a sharp eye open for movement--that
is, other than the giggling, pig-tailed mirror of his female counterpart
hopscotching behind him wearing nothing more than a long, white, tee-shirt
(they'd find something more suitable for her later). _I'm impressed. The
old man can really make himself disappear when he wants to._
Suddenly, a large white shape dashed out from behind a potted plant and
knocked Ranma to the ground, shouting," I'm sorry, boy, but you're not
catching me that easily!" Thyme held her hands behind her back and stared
down at the the fallen boy, hoping he wasn't hurt.
The blur made a line for the open door, aiming for the pond, but when it
reached the doorway, Ukyou jumped out and tackled its feet. "I'm sorry,
Mr. Saotome, but I can't let you do that!" They both hit the ground with a
thud, but Ukyou didn't loosen her grip. Genma fell flat on his face, then
started scratching at the dirt and grass in a mad movement of arms as he
tried desperately to pull himself toward his watery refuge.
-----------====================------------
| Writen and Directed by: |
| Happousai |
| and |
| Some Collins Fellow |
-----------====================------------
Ranma and Ukyou restrained Genma's arms as they led him back into the
house. Genma pleaded, unable to break free from their combined strength,
"Let me go, Ranma, I was just going out to take a walk!"
"Nice try, Pop." They sat him down in front of the table. "Now you're
gonna tell us exactly why this guy has it in for me so bad." Genma folded
his arms and closed his eyes.
Just then, Soun came down the stairs from Nabiki's room. "Saotome, what's
all that laughter I heard...." The pig-tailed girl hopped by the staircase
as Soun reached the bottom. "Ranma! Is Akane after you again?" He then
looked over at the table and saw Ranma's boy form standing by his father.
His face went blank.
Ranma, Genma, and Ukyou gazed in Mr. Tendo's direction, unsure of what to
tell him. Thyme danced up to the striken man and jumped into his petrified
arms, threw her arms around his neck, and gave him a playful peck on the
lips, then jumped away and ran through the hallway.
Soun's eyes rolled in the back of his head and he crashed forward onto the
floor. The others blinked simulaniously in confusion.
-----------====================------------
| Based on Characters Created by: |
| Rumiko Takahashi |
-----------====================------------
Ranma and Ukyou returned to the matter at hand. Ranma pointed a finger at
his stubbornly silent father and opened his mouth to say something when
Happousai walked through the open sidedoor, drying his eyes with a pair of
polkadotted panties.
"*sob* Why did fate have to be so cruel to me! I've tried to be good!
But what have I done that's so bad that I deserve my lifeblood, the sum of
all my teachings, reduced to this?" He pointed a finger at the joyous
Ranma look-a-like casually rocking on her heels beside him.
She threw her arms around the old man and seemed to crush him. "I wove
you Poppy! Don't cwy." She released him and Happy fell to his hands and
knees. "Awwww Poppy, I sowwy. Wanna pway?"
"And Thyme was always so careful." He shook his head and dropped a tear
to the floor. Then, he stared up at his daughter/son and growled, "I won't
play with you..." He lept at her with uncanny speed. "Not until you take
a hot bath!"
Thyme sidestepped her father, and they started another bout of speedy
punches, kicks, and blocks that got them nowhere. "Weeeeeeee Poppy, this
is fun!"
-----------====================------------
| Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo |
| in: |
-----------====================------------
Thyme and Happosai rolled outside the dojo, still locked in their comical
wrestling match. Ranma called over his shoulder, "Hey, Freak, if you need
any help, you just have to ask!"
"Ranma Saotome! If I EVER need help from a meany like you...."
Suddenly, Thyme was standing still on the lawn with a small, wooden pipe
raised to the air. A tiny object darted for the sky and just as quickly
came back down, landing on the ground just a few feet from the pond's edge.
He mumbled something incoherent, then blacked out.
Thyme jumped for joy and bounded around the house.
-----------====================------------
| HELLCATS |
| Chapter V |
| "Some Hidden in Dust" |
-----------====================------------
"Ok, Pop! Spill it! What's going on?" Genma began to sweat. Ranma was
standing to one side of him, making sure he didn't run, while Ukyou stood
on the other side, bouncing the handle of her intimidating spatula in one
hand.
He looked to either side, then sighed and adjusted his glasses. His
expression became more serious. "Very well, boy. You asked for it. I was
hoping to spare you the dishonor of finding out about your old man's shady
past. But I suppose you are old enough to know the truth."
The two listeners screamed in unison, "WILL YOU GET ON WITH IT!"
Genma adjusted his glasses again.
*FLASHBACK*
"I was making my way through a small, nameless village in Shikoku after
being lost in the mountains for several days with little to eat or drink.
You were still but a tiny babe...."
A sturdy man with a tattered straw hat on his head and a bundle strapped
to his back trudged down the mountain trail toward the peaceful village of
Shizumeru (CUTE VOICE: Stupid man eat sign before read it). He stopped at
the base of the path to wipe his brow and admire the beautiful landscape.
The moderately dense trees outlining the trail gave him the shade he so
much needed to sooth his scorched skin, and the chirping of the birds
warmed his heart after hearing his own voice echo off of stone for so long.
The young Genma Saotome took in a deep breath and glanced over his
shoulder. "Don't worry, Ranma. I won't let you down. I promise that this
day, we will have a decent meal." He continued down the trail, which
became smooth cobble as it led into town.
_What am I going to do? I have no money. I don't want to have to subject
ourselves to the wilderness again._ Genma looked around, then walked up to
the back of an inn and knocked on the door.
A tall, burly man in dirty overalls answered the door. "Yes. What is it?"
Genma bowed his head slightly. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I was
wondering if you could spare any food for my son and myself. I don't have
any money, but I'd be willing to make any arrangements with your family if
you have a young daughter...."
"No. Sorry. My daughter's already engaged." Then he shut the door.
Genma dropped his shoulders and walked away. _It's always worked before._
He was about to leave the alleyway when he saw a dark-robed figure
standing in front of the door to the next building. A deep voice came from
beneath the cowl: "I hear you are willing to make certain arrangements."
Genma stopped and looked to either side, then hesitantly nodded. The
robed figure gestured for him to follow.
They soon reached a gypsy tent behind the inn, and the robed figure held
the tentflap for his guest. Genma peeked inside and saw two more robed
figures sitting at a table, both of their faces hiden, and a little
red-headed girl sleeping on a cot with covers drawn close. But what really
caught his eye was the display of lucious fruits and vegetables on the
table, complete with candles and napkins.
Genma's mouth watered and he sauntered in. The mysterious man behind him
walked around to the table and removed his cowl. He was a hard-featured
man with a scraggly beard and no hair. "My name is Sage. The other two
are Rose and Parsley." Each one nodded in turn. He still couldn't see
their faces, but Rose wore white while Parsley wore dull brown.
Sage continued: "We come from a very ancient and very powerful sect of
martial artists called the Cult of the Jaguar, but our numbers are few, and
we need new initiates. I sense great strength in your son. We could train
him like no one else could--no offense to yourself. We will take him into
our care, and in return, you may have this." Sage gestured to the table of
food.
Rose started to protest something (so rediculous), but Sage held out a
hand. "Do we have a deal?"
*End Flashback*
"... and I must admit that it was a tough decision, Son, but I couldn't
allow you to starve out there, so I made the deal and got the goods.
"That night, I quietly strapped you onto my back and slipped out. It was
a close call but...."
Ranma and Ukyou were fuming and curling their finger into the air as they
strained every muscle in their arms and gritted their teeth.
"Well, Pop! Now that you've enlightened us," Ranma picked up his father,
still in his seated position, and tossed him up in the air, "Why don't you
take your bath!" With a mighty swing from her spatula, Ukyou sent the old
man rocketing toward the fishpond. (Too bad he missed.)
* * * * *
Thyme hopped around the second floor of the Tendo home and giggled to
herself as she explored every room, only talking a cursory glance instead
of rummaging through everyone's things--that wouldn't be polite. But none
of the rooms seemed to be occupied.
By chance, Nabiki's room happened to be the last place she checked. She
opened the door and peered inside to see someone huddled under the covers
on the bed. She went to investigate.
Thyme was quiet, not wanting to wake anyone from a sound sleep. She
landed on her knees beside the bed and gasped. Hugging the blankets tight
was an extremely pale, dark-haired girl, and she was shivering
uncontrollably. She looked half-awake, but her eyes were shut tight.
Thyme felt her skin an drew back from the icy feeling.
The pale girl had been scared beyond belief, and she was closing herself
from the rest of the world. Thyme watched her for a long while and started
pouting, ready to cry; but then she looked at her own hands and smiled.
She placed four fingers of one hand on key points on the shoulder and five
fingers on her forehead like a Vulcan mind meld. Nabiki squinted her eyes
open as Thyme placed the hand by her head on top of her scalp--to keep her
from getting white hairs (Thyme liked her hair). She then took Nabiki's
hand into both of hers and used her chi energy to warm her.
Nabiki opened her eyes all the way and tried to speak. "Ran... ma?
Wha... ar yu..."
Thyme smiled and brought her hands to her chest. "I make you all better
haha."
Nabiki gathered enough energy to sit up on her elbow. "Ranma?"
The pig-tailed girl in question giggled and threw her arms around Nabiki's
shoulders. "I wike you." She mashed her lips against Nabiki's in a
cartoonish manner, then bounded out the door. "You go sweepy-by now!"
Nabiki passed out.
* * * * *
Ranma and Ukyou ran upstairs when they heard giggling, but when they
reached the top, no one was in the hall but them. Akane's door was
partially open, so they immediately checked there.
It didn't look like anyone was in the room. They entered and scanned the
area, but no pig-tailed girl. Ukyou saw a suspicious scrap of paper on
Akane's desk and picked it up. "Ranma, I think you should see this."
Dad,
I've gone shopping with Kasumi. Don't worry about me.
Everything will be fine.
,Akane
Ranma snatched the note from her to eye it more closely. Ukyou stared
over his shoulder and asked, "She shouldn't be out of bed so soon, should
she?"
"No. And they both wouldn't leave with Nabiki still sick. Something must
be wrong." Ranma started pacing.
"Things just keep getting worse, don't they?"
Ranma placed the note back on the desk. "Everything's just happening too
fast!" He spun around and propped himself up against the chair. His voice
became low and serious: "I know you've been runnin around alot lately, but
could you...."
"Go after Akane? Sure. I'm as much a part of this mess as you are."
Ranma walked over and put a hand on her shoulder. "Thanks, Ucchan.
You're a real friend." Ukyou patted his hand and looked into his eyes with
a strange flicker of satisfaction. Ranma didn't know what it meant and
drew back. "Now, while you do that, I need to see if I can catch Thyme and
change him back. He may be the only one who can stop Sage."
She nodded and hurried out the door. Ranma stood and listened for more
giggling.
* * * * *
Ryouga shuffled down the empty street in despair, now and then picking at
some sticky stuff that he couldn't seem to get out of his hair. That goop
he found himself stuck in that morning looked like something Ukyou would
have concocted--not that it mattered. He had missed his chance to catch
Ranma, and it was pure luck that he found and recognized that particular
overpass to begin with. After he got himself unstuck, he flew off in a
rage to find his nemesis, and he had only managed to get himself lost.
_Why do I always get myself lost? Why can't I ever find my way? By now,
I could be halfway to.... *growl* But I want my revenge NOW! Ranma and
Ukyou must pay *sniffle* for what they've done to Akane... and... me!_
Ryouga felt like throwing his fist through the wall beside him. But what
good would it do. He felt too depressed to think about destroying property
(CUTE VOICE: Stupid pig boy has to think?). He just rounded the corner and
hoped he had reached the coast by now so he could drown himself.
His eyes widened and his vision became five times sharper. _Could it be?
Is it a gift from the gods?_ Ukyou ran around a corner up ahead and
started jogging away from him. _Fate HAS destined me to have vengence on
those who have broken poor Akane's heart!_
He started running, reaching for a bandana as he started catching up with
her. "Ukyou! Turn around and fight me!"
Ukyou turned around without stopping. _Oh no! Not now!_ She sped up,
turned the corner, and lost him. (CUTE VOICE: That quick.)
* * * * *
Ranma ran out the door when he heard a bubbly voice singing, "You go
sweepy-by now!" Ranma entered the hall in time to see a half-naked,
pig-tailed ball bounce out of Nabiki's room and ricochet off the walls a
few times before heading straight for him.
"Now I've got you, you little...." Ranma reached out to grab her, but she
managed to somehow evade his grasp. Instead, she latched onto his neck and
swung around his back, landing in his outstretched arms; She then quickly
planted a big, mushy kiss on his mouth.
Ranma pushed her away and wiped his face with his hands. _Ugh! I just
kissed myself! I am a pervert!_ Then he realized that he had just let the
little girl out of his clutches and groaned.
She rocked on her heels in front of him and chuckled. "I wike you. You
funny. Wanna pway?"
Ranma shuddered to think of what that request might entail coming from
Happousai's kid. (OLD VOICE: HEY!) "So you wanna play, do you? Well let's
try this game!" He threw his arms out again, but she just dodged. Again,
but she just ducked. He steadily accellerated his grappling, but the
little mite merely stood in one spot and weaved through his hands like
quicksilver. He started to feel like Akane when she sparred with him.
He broke into a furious chestnut fist, trying to grab her wrists, or at
least some part of her that would make her hold still, but she countered
with the same speedy manuever he was using and was having the time of her
life... er... half-life. When Ranma speeded up, so did she. It seemed to
him like she was just using enough energy to block his hands rather than
try any kind of attack. Ranma decided to try something else.
Thyme looked into Ranma's eyes with glee, and that gave him enough of a
distraction to throw his foot out and knock her off balance. As she put
her arms down to catch herself, Ranma grabbed her shoulders, but then
blinked when he was only holding an empty shirt.
Thyme rolled to her feet farther down the hall and looked down at
herself--now totally naked. Ranma stared at her, then the shirt, then her
again. He wasn't sure whether or not to be ashamed of himself for seeing
somebody else's daughter in the nude--but it was his body too. Thyme
looked up at him with a smirk. "You no pway fair!"
She launched herself and clasped onto Ranma's waist before he even thought
about stopping her. "That Ok! I wike this cowor more!"
Ranma tried frantically to brush her off, but he couldn't seem to touch
her. Soon, he found his own shirt pulled half-way over his head. "Hey,
what're you doing! Stop that!"
"Weeeeeeeee!" Thyme spun around, swinging the shirt through the air with
Ranma still in it. She snapped the garment when it came full circle and
Ranma went sailing out the open window at the end of the hall. Then she
heard a big splash. Thyme held her new red and gold shirt in front of her
and cooed.
Without unbuttoning it, she turned it right-side-in and smelled the
fabric. It had a sort of dreamy smell that she couldn't quite put a name
to, but she knew she liked it. She raised it over her head and started to
slip it on.
"Now let's see who's faster than who, you little creep." Ranma-chan
tossed a leg over the window sill and pulled herself over. _If my male
half is too slow, maybe my female half will be more of a match._
Thyme turned to run and hide while she finished fitting her new shirt but
stopped when she realized that her playmate's voice had changed. Ranma
took a step closer, but when she read her movements, she stopped, confused.
Thyme thrust her head through the collar and gazed at her new opponent.
Thus began the momentary face-off between the topless pigtailed girl and
the bottomless pigtailed girl. (OLD VOICE: Can I get it on pay-per-view?)
(CUTE VOICE: Hey! No look at my husband like that?) (CHEF'S NOTE: Eeew!
Your own son, er... daughter?!)
Ranma took a battle-ready posture and waited for the other to move, but
she didn't even budge. It seemed like Thyme was content just to stare at
her. In fact, the longer they stared at each other, the wider Thyme's grin
became. Ranma looked down at herself to see what was so interesting, then
started making that noise like she was going into severe hypothermia. _I
hope this kid's past breastfeeding._
"NANNA!" Thyme bolted like lightning and latched herself onto Ranma's
neck, nestling her head on a shoulder. Ranma was petrified holding her in
her arms with one thought going through her mind: _If it moves it's head,
I'm gonna kill it._
Thyme brought her head up to Ranma's and each stared into her own mirror
image. Everything seemed to stop when Thyme quickly flicked her tongue
across Ranma's lips, then rested her head back on her shoulder. (CUTE
VOICE: AAAAAIIIIIIEEEE! *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM*) (OLD VOICE: Look at all the
beatiful... pan... ties....) (NOTE: Don't worry, I got it!)
Ranma'a brow furrowed and she gritted her teeth as she started to reach
the heights of anger. _Why, I've never been SO HUMILATED...._ Thyme
closed her eyes and uttered peacefully, "Nanna," before apparently falling
asleep.
Ranma raised her eyebrows. _Nanna?_ She glanced at the sleeping girl and
decided to calm down, then started for the stairs. "Let's get you into a
nice, warm bath."
* * * * *
Ukyou made a few more turns down alleyways to make sure Ryouga wasn't
still trailing her through some miracle of cranial development--though one
turn should have done it. _Jackass. He always misses an appointment and
he always gets lost going to the bathroom, but he never goes away when you
need him to._
She decided it might be safer to take another route to... where? She had
run off to look for Akane without thinking. Well, she supposed that since
the letter said she was going shopping with Kasumi, she might as well start
at a market; although, she doubted that was where Akane was.
She passed down another narrow alley, a shortcut she usually used when she
was visiting one of her few friends across town. Suddenly, someone from
above her yelled, "Catch!", and a limp body with long, black hair and
colorful leotard fell into her reflexed arms. Ukyou was ready to scream as
loud as her lungs would allow when she saw Kodachi's face brush up against
her shoulder, but she immediately ascertained that the body wasn't moving.
Ukyou stared up at the tops of the buildings and saw Rosemary's green eyes
staring down at her from a crouched white cloak. "I did not know what to
do with her."
Even though they had just met as allies that morning, she still didn't
feel easy around the half-beast. "I... I'm not sure I know what to do with
her either."
Rose dismissed the comment. "I convinced Sage that she is unimportant in
Ranma's life, so he agreed to let her go."
"Yeah well, she doesn't bring a thrill to my day either. What's your point?"
Rose was beginning to think she brought this individual to the wrong
person. "Drop her off someplace safe." She paused as she heard thoughts
of 'dumpster', 'river', and 'asylum' go through Ukyou's head, but she was
pretty sure the okonomiyaki chef was a little kinder than that.
"Why does it matter if she's important to Ranma or not?"
Rose turned away slightly. "Because... Sage wants to destroy everything
Ranma holds dear... so he'll have no reason to stay in Tokyo anymore."
Ukyou's muscles tensed and she almost strangled Kodachi in her torpor.
"WHAT? I've got to find Akane fast! So why am I holding this psycho?"
"I do not believe in unnecessary death, Kuonji, and I can fell that you do
not either. Akane Tendo is unharmed for the time being. I shall make sure
the situation stays that way."
Ukyou started pacing, almost forgetting about the dead weight in her arms.
"Where is Akane now?"
Rose turned away even more. "She is searching for her sister, Kasumi.
But Akane doesn't know that Sage has her."
Ukyou closed her eyes tight. _DAMN! Akane doesn't even know about Sage!
And Kasumi...._ She looked back at the rooftops, but her feline informant
was gone. She looked in every direction, then ran an adjoining alley with
Kodachi in her arms.
* * * * *
"I do hope I wasn't too much trouble." Thyme, back in his original form,
sat in the warm bathwater next to Ranma, also in his original form.
Ranma closed his eyes and sighed. "Naaa. Don't worry 'bout it." _But if
you do that again, I'll make sure you stay a girl permanently._ "How much
can you remember?"
"Not much, I'm afraid. Although, I do remember seeing my reflexion, only
it wasn't a reflexion , was it." Thyme put his eyes down to think, then
cocked his head. "You've fallen into Nyanniichan too, haven't you?"
Ranma nodded sullenly. _What a coincidence._ "I was on a training
exercise with my Pop a few months ago," he muttered the rest under his
breath, "only he couldn't read the danger signs." Thyme nodded
sympathetically. "So, when did you fall in?"
Thyme crossed his arms, like that was a touchy subject (NOTE: Duh!).
"Sage defeated me in combat when he knocked me into one of the springs
almost two century ago."
_Ack._ Ranma almost jumped. "Two hundred years? How old are you?"
"I'll be exactly three hundred next year." Thyme opened his eyes and
noticed that he had upset his friend. "Do not be alarmed at my age. Poppy
discovered a secret ritual used by the Jaguars to extend aging. As for the
others, their metabolism makes them grow much more slowly than normal, a
side effect of the ritual."
Ranma pointed a shaky finger at the calm man. "You... you've been cursed
for... nearly two hundred years!?"
Thyme narrowed his eyes. "Don't think that it hasn't been a living hell,
turning in to a bubblehead every time it rains or every time I go swimming."
Ranma started to get scared. "Haven't you tried to find a cure?"
Thyme closed his eyes again. "I tried for a while, with no success.
Sage preferred me like this because he could always defeat me in battle,
and thus keep his position as our leader. He moved us to Japan for that
very reason."
"But when you change, why do you...."
"...regress to a preschooler?" Thyme knew what he was thinking and
couldn't resist a small smile. "Do not look upon my condition as a
foreshadowing of your future. My skitzophrenia is not a side effect of the
spring."
Ranma calmed down. Thyme leaned his back against the edge of the tub and
added, "You have nothing to fear about your sanity. You're not the one who
had to live with my father for sixty years." Ranma almost laughed.
"I heard that, Sonny!" They both turned and saw Happousai's diminuitive
frame standing defiantly in the window.
* * * * *
Nabiki groaned awake for the forth time. _First it's laughing and now
it's shouting, and it all sounds like Ranma. Can't he be considerate
enough to be quiet and let me sleep._
She threw back the covers and sat up in bed. She didn't feel as cold as
she did a few minutes ago, although she was still a little chilly. She
pulled a thick comforter off her bed and wrapped herself in it. _That's
better._
She was having trouble recalling what had happened; even her identity was
a little hazy at the moment. Suddenly a recent memory flashed through her
head and she brought her hand to her mouth. _Ranma?_
_I need to go see what's going on._ She tried to stand on her shaky legs,
but only raised an inch before sitting back down. _Maybe I'll just sit
here a few more minutes._
* * * * *
The eternally lost boy wandered frantically down yet another paved road
with a wall beside it, which looked like the last road he passed with a
wall beside it, which looked like the one before and the one before. Signs
at intersections were no help, and asking for directions would be pointless.
He winced at his emotional plight. _WHY CAN'T I FIND WHERE I'M GOING! I
HAD HER!_ He was ready to cry out his pain, to unleash a devistating
scream that would most likely tear him to shreads, but in the silence
between thought and voice, he heard footsteps. Ragged, uneaven footsteps
of somebody running toward him. He opened his eyes and turned to see a
disheavaled Kasumi Tendo staggering in his direction. Ryouga was speechless.
When she reached him, she clamped onto his chest to hold herself up. Her
dress was torn in several places and her face and arms were bruised. Her
chest was heaving and her tone was raspy and shaken with tears. "Ryouga!
Thank goodness I found you!"
Ryouga put his arms around her to hold her up. "Kasumi? What's wrong?"
She started to fall, but Ryouga had no problem holding her up. "It's
Ranma! He's gone mad! Out... of control! You've got to... stop him,
Ryouga! Father and my sisters couldn't make it out in time!"
Ryouga's blood started boiling and every emotion in his being turned sour.
He stared down at Kasumi's frail form but was too angry to speak. _This
time he HAS gone too far! Everything Ranma has EVER done pales in
comparison to this... this... ABUSE!_
Kasumi lifted her head up and looked bewildered. _What are those strange
markings on his head?_ She quickly shifted her face into that glassy-eyed
stare that no one could resist. "You've... got to hurry! He's back at the
house doing who knows what with Akane!"
_AKANE! First he betrays her! Now he.... HE'S DEAD!_ Ryouga roared.
"WHERE'S THE HOUSE?"
Kasumi blinked in confusion, then turned her head and pointed at the next
house down the block. Ryouga set her gently on the sidewalk and rushed
toward his new destination like a man possessed.
As soon as Kasumi saw him bust through the wall, she jumped up and ran in
the opposite direction, laughing maniacally. _I didn't even need
Rosemary's assistance on that one._
* * * * *
"Hey, look! And speak of the freak!" Ranma tried to continue the joke
Thyme had just made, but Happousai was far from amused and Thyme was
getting ready to apologize.
Happousai pointed a shaky finger at Ranma. "And you, Ranma, should be
ashamed. Just what are your intentions toward my son?" (NOTE: Y'see, it's
like this. Happy's just not thinking straight. How would you feel if you
found out your son got cursed and you hadn't found out about it for two
hundred years and he reverted to the mind of a three-year-old every time he
got wet? Ok, you'd be dead by then, but that's beside the point. He's
trying to tell a joke to compensate for the pain, and a rather bad joke at
that. Look. I don't want to divert too much space writing a full
psychological profile on his feelings at the moment for the sake of chapter
length; also, I don't want to revert to the mind of a three-year-old
myself. Now back to the story.) (OLD VOICE: Oh, stop prattling and move
over. This is my chapter, you know.)
Ranma and Thyme looked at each other and shrugged.
Thyme faced his father and sighed. "Look, Poppy, it's just that...."
Thyme paused his explanation when the door slid open and in the doorway
stood Nabiki, robed in a yellow comforter. She took an unsteady step
forward and projected shrilly. "What's going on, Ranma? Who's that with
you? And why did you kiss me?"
Thyme and Ranma stared at each other; the former mumbled, "I think that's
my fault." They looked back as Nabiki started wobbling. Both jumped out
of the water to assist her.
Nabiki started to fall back, but she put her foot back to steady herself.
The result was her stepping on the comforter, forcing her to lose her grip
on it and stumble backwards anyway. Ranma and Thyme grabbed her arms and
kept her from impacting with the wall.
She pushed Ranma away, stubbornly insisting that she could stand by
herself, but she only lost her balance again, then flailed her arm for
something else to hold her up. Her hand landed on the chain to an overhead
shower that they all just happened to be standing under.
Thyme tried to back away from the hissing, cold spray, but just enough hit
him to trigger the transformation. Ranma ran into the shower and caught
Nabiki before she slipped and fell.
Just then, everyone heard a loud yell from outside the house--"RANMA, YOU
BASTARD!"--and a large piece of the wall close to Happousai's window
disintigrated with a loud BOOM, throwing Happy to the lawn. The resulting
dust was quickly blown by the breeze and Ryouga's eyes instantly focused on
two naked girls holding each other on the floor under a shower. "DAMN IT,
RANMA! WILL YOUR SICK MIND NEVER BE SATED!?!"
"Not now, Ryoga! Can't you see I'm busy!" _Oops._ In that spit second,
Ranma remembered that since her breasts had formed just a short while ago,
they were pressed dangerously close to Nabiki's exhausted face. Nabiki
gave a quivering grunt as the cold water pelted her still chilled
skin--which didn't make things look any better.
Thyme, still unnoticed as the second naked pig-tailed girl in the room,
darted for Ranma's clothes right outside the door and zipped around in a
flash of red. She passed Ryouga and stopped by her dizzy Poppy, at which
point, she was fully clothed and rocking on her heels.
Ryouga took a step forward and pulled off a bandana. "Put her down,
Ranma! NOW!"
_Damn! He's not going be stupid and rush under the water to get me!_
Ranma scooped Nabiki into her arms and shuttled to through the door as fast
as her legs would go.
Ryouga wouldn't release his headband because he might have hurt the girl
in his target's arms. He screamed, then ran through the door.
* * * * *
Two figures sat high on a limb in a tree overlooking the new shortcut to
the bathroom that had just been made, as well as their master on the
ground, who was yelling at either Ranma or the new guy that showed up
earlier. They decided it had to be the new guy, or else Ryouga had a worse
sense of direction than they thought.
Genma folded his arms and closed his eyes. "Hmmm. I told you something
bad was about to happen, Tendo."
The pig-tailed girl ran off and their master followed seconds behind.
Soun stared down at the hole again and started to cry as he thought of the
property damages he would have to pay. "I'll say it again, Saotome, with
you and your son around, there's never a dull moment."
Genma looked to the side of the house and saw an unclad, redheaded girl
streak by (emphasis on STREAK) with a similarly-dressed brunette in her
arms. "That must be Ranma right there with your daughter."
Genma quickly reached over and kept his unconscious friend from falling
off the branch.
* * * * *
Ranma had to lose Ryouga, and he was probably smart enough to follow her
upstairs if he was right on her heels. Ranma shifted into overdrive and
practically flew through the livingroom, sending her foot into the front
door and knocking it open without even stopping.
Several bystanders stopped their daily activities to watch from the gate.
Ranma stood and shouted, "What're you looking at, you perverts?!"
Immediately following Ranma's last word, Ryouga roared and burst through
the wall beside the non-existant door. Everyone watching from the street
scattered, as did everyone for a two-block radius.
Ranma dashed for the side of the house, barely missing Ryouga's grasp.
She turned the corner as fast as gravity would allow, then screeched to a
halt. When Ryouga came into view, she landed her foot right across the
eyes with enough force to splinter a two-by-four, yet it only sent him
careening to the ground with stars jumping around in his head. _That
should slow him down for a good three seconds._
Ranma raced around to the dojo, opened the door, then continued around the
house until she reached the open window at the end of the upstairs' hall.
She pulled Nabiki tight, and with a mighty leap, she covered the sill and
landed on the floor in a roll. She then straightened up and checked her
passenger; she was fine.
Ranma took Nabiki to her room and dried her off with some of the clothes
lying around, then laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers to her
shoulders. Ranma wiped away a bead of sweat that formed on her own brow.
_Whew. Nabiki was so quiet, you'd almost think she slept through the whole
thing._
Ranma walked over to Nabiki's dresser. _I hope Nabiki doesn't mind if I
borrow a few things. If she does, she can put it on my tab. But I can't
go chasing after everyone like this._
Ranma pulled the middle drawer, quickly shut it again, and shivered. _I
didn't have to see that._ (OLD VOICE: I'm not sayin what was in there. You
just have to use your imagination.) She opened the drawer below it and
found an assortment of different-colored shorts and tee-shirts mixed with a
few bras and mismatched socks. _Man. She's not as organized as I would
have thought._
Ranma pulled out a pair of shorts and a tee at random and threw them on.
She didn't have much time, or at least that's how she felt. She started
for the door without even picking out a pair of shoes.
Ranma stopped when he heard Nabiki stirring and mumbing something
unintelligable. Ranma walked to the bedside to see what she wanted,
leaning close so she wouldn't strain her voice.
Nabiki reached up and hugged Ranma close to her. "I don't know what's
going on... but thank you, Ranma."
After a long moment of togetherness, Ranma drew back confused. _Nabiki?_
She readjusted the covers for the sick girl (sick as in not feeling well)
and quietly padded out the door. Without the other watching, they each
collected a little smile.
Ranma trotted down the hall for the window. _Is Rosemary around here
somewhere or was that really Nabiki?_ She jumped out the window, still in
thought, but then remembered something very important when someone caught
her before she could land.
Ranma cranked her head to the side and smiled at Ryouga, but by the look
on his face, he was far from reason. "Did you really think I'd check the
dojo? I was hoping you thought better of me." His voice was amazingly
calm, yet tinged with insanity.
_*gulp* I'm really in for it now._
A sinister grin washed over Ryouga's face. "That's a really nice outfit
you have on." Without warning, he dropped to one knee and slammed Ranma's
spine into it, and Ranma went limp.
He stared down at the unmoving body in his arms and shed a tear. _He was
a formidable opponent. How sad that it should end like this._ He picked
up her head, not seeing the pig-tailed girl, but instead seeing an old
friend turned bad. He held her up to stare in her sightless eyes.
Before he knew it, his face was being pelted with at least a hundred
slapping hands, aimed more at annoying him than doing actual damage. "Hey,
you stupid jerk! That hurt! Now put me down!"
When the punches started reaching the thousands, Ryoga just couldn't bear
it anymore. He thrust the fiery-headed assault weapon from his arms and
tried to keep his head from vibrating off his neck. Now, in addition to
the inversely 'Use this' tatooed on his countenance, he also had a series
of overlapping red handprints arranged like an Impressionist's
brushstrokes. "And it serves you right too!"
Ranma jumped to her feet and started running for the gate, trying not to
think about the pain in her kidneys. _I need to get back into yoga again.
If I hadn't uv been able to curve my back around his leg...." She didn't
want to think about it. (NOTE: Don't say it old man! Don't you dare say it!)
* * * * *
After dropping her unwanted bundle of gymnast off with a worried Sasuke,
Ukyou high-tailed it for the markets to continue in her briefly-delayed
search for Akane. Luckily, the Kunou masion wasn't too much out of her
way. Well, Ok. It was more out of the way than she liked, but if you
could have just seen the look on Sasuke's face....
It wasn't going to be easy to get downtown right now since school was
about to let out. Cars were already starting to litter the main streets.
It would probably be faster if she used the alleyways again.
Ukyou crossed at the next light and studied the houses around her as she
tried to remember where all the shortcuts she had blueprinted in her head
began. Her eyes faced forward and she slowed down when she noticed a brown
robe standing in the middle of an empty intersection about twenty yards
ahead of her. _Parsley. And I suppose he's waiting for me._
She started accelerating in the opposite direction. Parsley flicked his
wrists forward; inordinately long chains shot out of his sleeves like
lightning bolts and wrapped around Ukyou's ankle and waist before she could
take two steps. Everyone that was just passing by immediately ran for cover.
Parsley swooped his arms skyward and the okonomiyaki chef was yanked high
into the air at breakneck speed. The force of ascension made the chains
tighten and she felt like she was going to snap into pieces. Ukyou quickly
pulled off her battle spatula just as the chains reached their maximum
height, and she swung at them as hard as she could with the edge of the
weapon.
She sliced through both chains in one blow just as Parsley pulled down,
but by that time, she was plummeting to Earth like a rocket anyway. Even
if she did have time to land properly, at the velocity she was going, she'd
have to be scraped off the concrete with... well, nevermind.
She closed her eyes and screamed the entire way down and gasped when she
thought that she had hit the ground. But the ground was a lot softer than
she remembered, and she wasn't lying in any kind of flat position she
recognized. She winked one eye open and saw a blue and orange, whiskered
face regarding her with concern.
Ukyou had landed behind a wall, which on the other side stood Parsley, and
Rosemary had caught the chef in her arms (how she absorbed the impact is a
Jaguar trade secret and shall not be revealed). Ukyou almost screamed
again when Rose leaned her head closer, but the telepath calmed her with a
thought and whispered, "She's at the park."
On the other side of the wall, Parsley dropped his chains and shook his
head. "I hoped you better fight than this." Of course, he didn't expect
an answer. _I'm just too good._ He turned around to walk away and growled
at the people who were watching from behind cars and around corners.
Ukyou jumped up onto the wall Parsley just turned from. "Not so fast!"
Parsley turned around and smiled. Ukyou reached under the fold in her
cloth belt. "It's my turn."
She jumped high in the air and shouted, "Okonomiyaki Spicerack!",
bombarding her target with numerous salt and pepper shakers. Parsley had
already thrown another set of chains at her, but when the condiment cloud
rose up around him, he was unable to guide them. Ukyou landed on the
opposite sidewalk and watched the results.
Parsley brought his hands to his face. "My eyes! Burning! Too much
oregano!" He stumbled back onto some of the broken glass and started
hopping around on one foot. "Can't see!"
"Here! Let me help!" Ukyou ran up and smacked her spatula into his face,
then proceeded to run toward the park. Parsley wobbled where he stood as
he watched stars dance around for a few seconds, then fell backwards.
* * * * *
"Weeeeee! Becha can't catch me, Poppy!" Thyme bounce down the sidewalk
that led to Furinkan High School while Happousai pursued only a few feet
behind. She had been following a curious line of cars, most of them
parked, and she wanted to see where they led.
"Sonny! Come back! You need to take your bath, now!" Happy was pushing
himself as fast as his tiny legs would carry him, but every time he would
get within arms' reach of her (NOTE: This in itself is not very
impressive), she would just speed up and he'd lag behind.
Thyme scampered through the gates of the school eagerly, her face
revealing utter joy when she noticed all the students walking out of the
building. She screamed with excitement.
"C'mon, Sonny! These old bones ain't what they used to be!" Happousai
was getting ready to give up, but then saw that Thyme was diverting her
course toward a tall man in a samuri uniform. He had his chance. He lept
with all his might.
Kunou turned to see what the excitement was about, then threw his arms
wide. "Pig-tailed Girl!" Thyme jumped straight for his arms.
Happousai wasn't about to let his son kiss that... that... pervert (NOTE:
Hey! Look who's talkin!) (OLD VOICE: Quiet, you!). He was closing fast on
Thyme. He reached out to grab her shirt, but Thyme saw him out of the
corner of her eye and sidestepped in mid-air, and Happy fell straight into
Kunou's loving arms.
Kunou squeezed with all his heart and shut his eyes to hold back the
tears. "You don't know how long I've waited! Your so beautiful..." Kunou
opened his eyes and studied the wrinkled mass in his arms very carefully.
Happousai looked up at him with glassy eyes and smiled. "Oh, Kunou. I
never knew you felt that way about me. But it'll never work out between
us, y'see..."
A few yards to the left, Thyme jumped up and down in frustration.
"What're you doing with that big man, Poppy! I saw 'im first!"
And to make matters worse, another little girl had bounded out of the
building and came to a rest at Thyme's side, this one with long, brown hair
and a dark blue dress, both reaching down to her feet. She glared at Kunou
and Happousai, shocked. "What's going on here?"
Kunou turned to face her. "Hinako-sensei. I..." He looked at Happousai.
"I, er..." He turned back to the teacher. "I, uh...."
Ms. Hinako glared at Happy, who smiled and similarly stuttered: "I can
explain... uh... er... oh dear...."
She pointed a finger at Happy. "Is this old man bothering you, Mister
Kunou?"
Kunou's eyes widened. "THIS IS A MAN!?!"
In the next instant, Happousai was standing on the ground with his finger
pointed in the air and Kunou was shooting into orbit. "No respect for your
elders, eh?"
Hinako frowned. "You're a bad man. You cause enough trouble as it is.
Picking fights with students is the last straw."
"Oh, and what're ya gonna do now?"
Ms. Hinako predictably pulled out a fifty-yen coin. "Happo..."
"Won't work!" Happousai rushed around behind her in a flash, ready to
snatch the coin away.
She pointed her other hand at him, in which she held a five-yen coin.
"...Go-en Satsu."
She drained his aura quickly and he floated to the ground like paper.
"Curses, foiled again."
Thyme watched the battle with amusement--if it could be called a battle.
She was surpised when the little, coin-toting girl grew twice her original
size, in more ways than one, and Thyme looked down at herself wordering why
she couldn't do that trick with her breasts.
Ms. Hinako then turned toward the pig-tailed girl. "I've heard you've
been skipping school, Ranma. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Thyme smiled and threw her arms wide. "I wike you." She hurled herself
at the fully-blown Hinako, and the teacher quicky formed a triangle.
Hinako sputtered, "Happo Tsurisen Gaeshi", but the pig-tailed girl
deflected her arms upward at the last second, sending the chi energy
harmlessly into the air with a sharp whistle, and locked her lips over the
shrinking girl.
Passing students muttered what a pervert Ranma was.
The once-again childlike Hinako backed up in surprise. Surpried because
she had been kissed, but also surprised that the pig-tailed girl wasn't
Ranma--her aura was different. She shook her head and tried to figure it out.
Thyme aked, "What wrong?"
"Not sure."
"Wanna pway?"
Hinako looked up and jumped up and down, a special technique she used
frequently to clear her mind. "Ok!"
* * * * *
Akane was sitting on a parkbench with her head in her hands, her weeping
audible to anybody passing; she rejected any offer to help comfort her--she
needed to be alone. But hadn't she done enough crying in the past few days
to last her a lifetime?
_It's all my fault. Ranma probably never wants to see me again. And now
I... I hit Kasumi... and now she's run away. Where could she be! If I
don't find her, how can I look Dad in the face ever again? I might as
well...._
A tired and worried Ukyou had finally reached the park and was now
cautiously approaching the depressed girl. "Akane? Are you crying?"
Akane muttered a low, "Go away."
They both heard a low whistling sound and turned their eyes upward to see
some type of fireball shoot into the sky. Akane looked back down,
apparently uninterested.
Ukyou looked around for it's possible origin. _I think that came from the
school. Chances are it has something to do with Sage or something. It's
worth a look. But I can't leave Akane._ "Hey, Akane. Wanna go see what
that was?"
Akane's tone was still dull. "No. Now just go away. I'm too tired to
fight you now."
Ukyou was taken aback. "But Akane, I don't want to fight you."
Akane just sighed.
The okonomiyaki chef looked back in the school's direction, then back at
Akane, then smiled. "I guess this means you're giving Ranma up, huh?" No
response. "I guess this means he's all mine now. Right?" Akane twitched.
Ukyou strode behing the bench and placed a hand on Akane's back. "I guess
you just weren't good enough to keep him. You weren't good enough to beat
me."
Akane started to boil. She sprang out of the bench, her aura flaring
wildly. "HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME! HOW DARE YOU TAKE HIM!"
She pulled out her dimensional mallet and the chase was on.
* * * * *
Soun and Genma reached the sidewalk immediately facing Furinkan High after
following the chi enegy blast back to it's origin. They stood beside a
parked car and folded their arms.
"Something big's about to happen, Tendo? Are you ready?"
Soun nodded.
They turned and watched as a tall, dark-robed figure stepped out from
behind a tree, followed by a shorter, white-robed figure, neither of which
took any notice of them. The figures stopped in the middle of the street
in front of the archway entrance. The tall one shouted, "I know you're in
there, Thyme! I've been expecting you! And I'm ready!"
Just then, they heard, "RANMA, I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU GET AWAY WITH
THIS!" Soun turned and saw Ryouga coming into view, chasing a pig-tailed
girl wearing blue shorts and a shirt with "Bite me" written across the
front and back. They both ground to a halt at the intersection. Ryouga
stared at the robes. "Who the hell are they?" The robed figures did nothing.
Genma looked at the opposite intersection and saw Akane chasing Ukyou with
a mallet. They both stopped and Akane asked to no one in particular, "Who
are those guys?" The figures did nothing.
Soun and Genma then watched as another redheaded, pig-tailed girl stormed
out of the school gates with Ms. Hinako, who looked lost.
Sage smiled, but only Thyme could see it. Sage raised a pointed finger to
the air. "It ends now, old friend!" There was no telling what he was
about to do.
Sage started to say something but was interrupted when a crumpled form
blew his way like a plastic bag. He reached down and caught it, then
smiled again. "Why, it's Thyme's old man."
Happousai begged dryly, "Could you kindly let me drift by?"
A thin red aura formed around the two and they seemed to meld together,
but only Happy was left when the light faded. Everyone looked in horror.
Happy raised his arms to the sky and cackled. "Oh! Such POWER! I never
thought he'd have so much POWER!" Thyme took a step back. Genma stated:
"We're really in for it now." Soun nodded his head: "What's the point of
running." Everyone else was frozen.
Happy stared coldly at his pig-tailed enemy. "Now where was I? Oh yes...."
Soun's eyes flew wide. "He's not going to do what I think he's going to
do...." Genma pulled a kettle of cold water from somewhere and turned
himself into a panda.
The little man chanted: "Happo Watashi No Sukina Hadakano No Keshiki!"
For a second, it appeared nothing had happened. But then they discovered
that each and every person on the block was utterly stark naked, their
clothes in a pile at their feet.
Ranma shrieked, "AAAAAA! He's an even bigger pervert than ever!"
Mr. Panda held up a sign {{The Happo 'My Favorite Scene of Nudity'
Technique}} Soun grabbed the sign and covered himself.
* * * * *
(OLD VOICE: NOOOOO! STOP IT!!!!!)
(CUTE VOICE: I got em!)
(OLD VOICE: Get off me you ingrates!)
(NOTE: Hold him! I'll get the ropes!)
(OLD VOICE: Why are you so mean to me!)