Hey all,

I'll have to finish my MST of "Nekoken Let Out Of The Bag!" Chapters 2
and half of 3 during the week; my computer erased what I had finished
when Netscape crashed.  :( Anyway, here's Episode 3.  C&C welcome,
flames not. :-)
========================================================================
DISCLAIMER:

Everything dealing with Ranma 1/2 was created by Rumiko Takahashi.  I
have no money, so please don't sue me.  :-)

Ross Griffmoy created by me.  :-)

******

(Ross Griffmoy is seen sprawled out on the ground near the koi pond,
looking quite hurt.  In his right hand, he involuntarily clutches a pair
of polka dot panties.  Akane Tendo stands over him with a kettle of hot
water, and pours it on him.)

Ross: T-thanks... I'm... sorry for... stealing your panties.  I
couldn't... h-help it.

Akane:  I'm sorry too, I forgot you were cursed.

Ross:  It's ok... but can you take me to the doctor?  I can't move.

Akane:  No problem.  

******

Two Fifty Seven: A Piece of Ranma Fanfiction
Episode 3
Some Guys Have All The Luck...

"Just a little bit farther..."  Akane Tendo said, propping up Ross
Griffmoy on the right side.

"Hey Ross, can you move your legs yet?"  Ranma asked on the opposite
side.  Both Akane and Ranma had the task of taking the exchange student
to Doctor Tofu's after the boy said that he couldn't move as a result of
getting thwacked by Akane's hammer.

"I can feel them, but I can't move them. That means I'm not paralyzed, I
think."

"Are you in pain?"  Akane asked.

"Like I've never been in before,"  Ross said flatly.  "Where'd that
hammer come from anyway?"

"That's what *I* wanna know..."  Ranma added.  Akane gave him a stern
look as the task of getting Ross to Doctor Tofu's continued, but
explained how she obtained her hammer when she needed it.  Ranma didn't
really believe it, and Ross wasn't even thinking about it because he was
wondering if the pain was ever going to stop.

**********

"That should do it,"  Dr. Tofu said, pressing at a spot on Ross's lower
back.  All of Ross's limbs went to positions that looked regular, and
the exchange student sat up and moved his extremities a bit.

"Thanks Dr. Tofu.  I have a question though."

"Go on."

"Well, Akane explained my curse to you, and how I can control my cursed
actions to some extent.  The only problem is that I seem to be losing
control, and my curse starts to... fight me."

"Fight you?  How?"  Ross explained the incident in the bathroom where he
punched himself while cursed involuntarily.  "I see.  Well, I would
think that your cursed side is trying to take control.  You don't
necessarily have a form that you can change into, so your curse takes up
for that account and changes your personality to that of a pervert's. 
The problem is that you seem to have a good grasp on your actions,
unless something sends your cursed side into overdrive."

"Like when I saw Akane's underwear?  I mean, I was going to get some hot
water, had a little trouble when I met up with Nabiki in the hallway,
but I stopped myself.  I made it to the bathroom, saw Akane's underwear,
and lost it."

"What exactly DID you do?"  Ranma asked, curious.

"I started yelling 'Oh happy day'... and then I walked downstairs, Akane
saw me, I saw her, she came after me, I ran, next thing I know I see
this damn hammer and I'm outside, and I can't move."

"Ross, the best thing for you to do is to avoid cold water at all
costs.  There's no telling what your cursed side could do next,"  Ross
pulled himself off the examination table and stood up.  

"Thanks Dr. Tofu.  I really appreciate it."  Ross said.  The trio went
outside, and Akane looked at her watch.

"Ranma, do you think you could show Ross around today?  He's probably
wondering what the rest of Nerima looks like."

"I guess so."  

"In that case, I'll see you all at the dojo, ok?"  Akane headed off to
the dojo, while Ranma and Ross turned down a street and kept on
walking.  Both boys were pretty quiet, until Ross decided to ask an
important question.

"Where are we headed?"

"This place called the Nekohanten, they serve good ramen.  My... uh,
friend Shampoo works there.  Her great grandmother owns the place."

"Ok..."  The two boys headed off to the Nekohanten, as Ross was
wondering why someone would name their child 'Shampoo'.

**********

"Nihao Ranma!!  You come to see Shampoo?"  Shampoo greeted the two boys
as the entered the Nekohanten.  Ranma thrust Ross in front of him,
thwarting off a Shampoo glomp.

"Shampoo, this is Ross Griffmoy.  He's staying with the Tendos for a
year because of an exchange student program."  Shampoo poked the
exchange student in the ribs a few times.

"Hey, that tickles!"  Ross exclaimed.

"He kinda skinny, not built like Ranma,"  Shampoo eyed Ross curiously. 
"What country you from?"

"The United States."  Ross replied, looking around the resturant.  There
was a guy in white robes scrubbing the table top, and _something_ on a
stick that was scolding him.  Ross swore it was a monkey, as Shampoo led
them to their seats.

"You want Ramen?"  She asked.  Both boys nodded, and she cheerfully went
off.

"Ranma,"  Ross began, "uh... are you and her... like... you know?" 
Ranma flinched slightly, but managed to keep his composure.

"No, uh... we're just friends..."  

"Hey, um... do monkeys talk in here or something?"

"What?"

"No, seriously... there's a monkey on a stick over there."  

"That's Cologne, Shampoo's great grandmother. The guy getting yelled at
is Mousse.  They're all Chinese Amazons.

"Amazons?"

"Yep, Amazons."

"Whoa... better not piss them off then."

"Yeah..."  A few minutes later Shampoo came by with the ramen.  Both
boys ate heartily and quickly.  One thing was missing, though.

"Can I have some water, please?"  Ross asked.  Shampoo went to go get
him some, while Ranma looked at him warily.

"Hey man, you'd better watch it with the water, one splash and you're in
for it."

"Don't worry, I'll be extra careful..."

~Fifteen minutes later...~

"Shampoo, don't!!"

*WHAM!!!*

*BASH!!!*

*SLAM!!!*

"Pervert boy never come back!!!"  Shampoo yelled to a trash can covered
Hentai Ross Griffmoy.  Seems that when Shampoo brought the water, Mousse
wanted to help, but all he did was splash water over Ross. One lewd
remark later, Ross Griffmoy was sent flying into the street, and into a
pile of trash cans.  

"Sorry Shampoo... he's got a curse too.  He fell in the Spring of
Drowned Pervert when he went to Jusenkyou."  Ranma explained to her at
the front of the Nekohanten.  Shampoo, however, was not so easy to
forgive the exchange student but understood.  Hentai Ross was staggering
his way back to the Nekohanten as soon as he was able to stand.

"'S all a misunderstanding, baby.  How come WE can't be friends?  All I
wanted to do was-"  Ranma grabbed the perverted boy by the shirt collar,
and dragged him in the opposite direction.

"Come on, let's go to Ucchan's and get you some hot water."

*********

"...how was I supposed to know that Mousse was gonna come over there, go
all ga-ga over Shampoo, and splash water over me?"  Ross said, staring
at an empty plate, which was quickly occupied by another okonomiyaki.

"How is it?"  Ukyo asked.

"Light and fluffy."  Ross said, thinking about his situation.  "How am I
supposed to go home like this?"  

"We'll think of something.  We've got a year, right?" Ranma said,
munching on an okonomiyaki of his own.

"Yeah...but in a year, will I even be alive?"

"What do you mean?"  Ukyo asked.  Ranma stopped eating, and looked at
the exchange student.

"I have no formal martial arts training.  Each time I'm cursed, I get
hit hard.  Right now, my arm is killing me, and my head still hurts from
this morning..."

"What happened this morning?"  Ukyo asked, now facing the grill.

"Akane,"  Was Ranma's reply.

"Oh... well Ross, you shouldn't expect to get into too many fights. 
People around here can usually tell who's a martial artist and who
isn't."

"Yeah, but being a pervert gets you pounded either way,"  Ross said
dejectedly.  

"I'm teaching you stuff, right?  You'll be fine learning from me!" Ranma
said a little too proudly. 

"Learning stuff each day doesn't match up to a life's worth of
training... one splash and I'm screwed."  Ross muttered.  All the while,
Ukyo was forming a plan.  She leaned over to Ranma and whispered
something that Ross couldn't hear.  Ranma looked at her funny, Ukyo
nodded, and Ranma suddenly stood up.

"Ross, you know the way back, don't you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Uh... I have to go back... alone."  Ukyo rolled her eyes at Ranma's
excuse, but Ranma decided to try and say something better.  "Ukyo can...
uh... use a hand cleaning up, and I have to... um... make sure
everything's ok at the Dojo."  Surprisingly, Ross bought the excuse.
Ranma waved, and left.  Ukyo went to the back, and Ross just stared at
the wall.  <I'm screwed... how come my dad couldn't have signed me up
for Kim's Karate or something stupid like that... great...>

"Ross?"  Ross looked to where the voice was coming from... and was
splashed.  Immediately he shut his eyes and tried to control himself.

<No no no no grab no no no no squeeze no no no no no fondle touch no no
no no>  was the boy's thought pattern.

"If you run away from your curse, you can't really control it, can
you?"  Ukyo said, holding an empty bucket.  Ross struggled to form a
politically correct sentence.

"You shouldn't have..."  He struggled to say.  Uyko looked at the
exchange student closely.  He was trembling, shaking, almost as if he
was straining to keep himself from doing something he didn't want to. 
Slowly, Hentai Ross turned around... and ran at Ukyo.

When the female population of Nerima is faced with the likes of a
pervert, that pervert tends to get clobbered.  As much as Ukyo didn't
want to, it was more reflex than anything else.  Her spatula connected
with Ross's head, sending him flying backwards and he landed on the
floor.  He didn't move for a few moments, so Ukyo went to get some hot
water.

"I'm _REALLY_ sorry,"  She said, dousing the boy with hot water.  "It
was a reflex more than anything else."  Ross slowly got up, and headed
towards the door.  

"I was right, wasn't I?"  Ross smiled in spite of his situation, amazed
that he had all his teeth.

"Yeah..."

"Thanks for hitting me though..."  He added surprisingly.  Ukyo looked
at him confusedly.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because...  if I'm going to get hit, I'd better be used to it."  Ross
smiled again, and headed out the front door.

**********

	Ross was ready for a good night's sleep when Ranma walked into the
room.  He looked like someone knocked him through a roof.

"What the hell happened to you?"  Ross asked.

"Got knocked through a roof."

"Why?"

"Uh... well, it was because of Akane's cooking..."

"When you threw up it sent you through the roof?"

"No, stupid."  Ranma chuckled a little bit, and continued.  "She found
out I was at the Nekohanten and Ucchan's."

"Why the hell would she do something like that?"

"'Cuz she's convinced I'm running around with Ukyo and Shampoo, but I'm
not..."

"Why does she care?"

"Because she's my fiancee... and so is Ukyo, Shampoo, and Kodachi, but
thank God you haven't met her yet."  Ross was speechless for a few
minutes.

"...damn.  That would explain why Shampoo was so happy when she saw
you..."  Ross lay back on his futon.  "How did..."

"Long story.  I'll tell you when I have the time."  Ross was quiet for a
few more moments.

"Some guys have all the luck."  He said flatly.  Ranma situated himself
in his futon.

"Oh yeah, well at least you don't turn into a girl."

"That's better than being a pervert..." 

"Yeah, well I get called a pervert AND a transvestite..."

"At least you don't get hit every time you get cursed..."

"You haven't been sent through a window yet, have you?"  The two boys
discussion continued until they both fell asleep.




[END]

Next Episode:  Ross follows Ryoga on one of his 'trips' after an
incident at school... this one could be long.  :-)



--Adam Griffin
http://www.griffworld.com

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