R1/2 -- Chris Collins (1clc0772@unixstew.tstc.edu)

	[Hey!  This is the voice from oblivion again with another disclaimer
message that the author was too lazy to write himself.  Hmph!  If you'd
read his last fanfic whatchamacallit, you'd have noticed that I had to
waste my precious time and throw in a disclaimer at the last minute to keep
this guy outa trouble--the lazy bum!  Just because he can write a story and
he can put up with his good-for-nothin staff, the jackass thinks he can do
anything and get away with it.  Well, he's wrong!  Well, since I'm here,
I'll tell ya that all the poeple in this story created by Takahashi or
whoever--they're hers and we're not layin any claim to em or nothin.  The
new characters appearin here aren't copyrighted and I don't give a damn
what happens to em.  There.]

	Thank you voice from oblivion.

	[Ahw, go to hell.]


	Nii hao.  Here I am again, back with all the Iron Dagger Production staff.
(CUTE VOICE: Nii hao.) (CHEF'S NOTE: Hiya, Sugar.) (OLD VOICE: Miss me?)  I
hope you enjoyed our last production, that is, if you've seen it.  (CHEF'S
NOTE: That's HELLCATS, written and directed by our very own Christopher Lee
Collins and whomever else decided to take the reins at the time.  Soon to
be available at a BlockBuster near you, as well as in handy paperback at
your nearest Walden Books, for those long and chilly nights when you're low
on firewood....)  Uh thank you, Ms. Kuonji.  (CHEF'S NOTE: Anytime.)

	I was just warming up when I wrote HELLCATS, just to get a clearer sense
of the drama binding the Ranma universe--also to see if I could write worth
a damn.  Viewing our last production would be useful, but not manditory, as
it is a leadup to this month's tale.  The leadup was rather small... (OLD
VOICE: Smaller than his....) ...Ukyou!  Spatula! (OLD VOICE: I'll be good.)
 Anyway, I'll point out....  Oh, well.  Let's just start the show.

	(CUTE VOICE: *clapclap* Shampoo turn to pull curtain!  Hnnngh!):

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

	The screen fades from black and shows a beautiful aerial view of Furinkan
High.  A few doves fly by, singing cheerfully.

	A schoolbell rings through the air, signaling the end of classes for the day.

              -----------===================------------
              |       An Iron Dagger Production        |
              -----------===================------------

	"Stupid, macho chick!  I told you that's not what I meant!"

	"Just shut up!  I don't want to hear it!"

	Ranma had no idea how their simple argument over what she should wear to
the Martial Arts Exposition next week had escalated into a full-blown
screaming match over nothing--but if she wanted to fight over it, then he'd
give it his best.  Lately, it seemed like all his insults were having a far
greater impact on her than usual.

	Akane was stomping around the school, seemingly trying to get away--though
she didn't run.  Ranma was following alongside, waving his arms in
frustration.

	"Akane!  Can't you just stop and listen to me for once?!"

	"Shut up, Ranma!"

	"Man!  You can really be SO uncute!"

	Akane stopped and turned around with her hands balled into fists.  "I'M
NOT UNCUTE!"

	Ranma yelled in her face, "ZERO SEX APPEAL!"

	"TAKE THAT BACK, RANMA!"

	"And do you know why your so uncute?!"

	"If you don't take that back, you're gonna be sorry!"

	Ranma cringed back mockingly.  "Oooooh.  I'm so scared.  What're ya gonna
do?  Hit me?"

	Akane clamped her eyes tight, gritted her teeth, and slowly shook her
head.  Ranma's face lit up in confusion and he realized he was standing at
the edge of the campus swimming pool.  Akane gave a firm shove to Ranma's
chest and he fell in.

              -----------===================------------
              |        Writen and Directed by:         |
              |        Christopher Lee Collins         |
              -----------===================------------

	Ranma-chan poked her head out of the water and spit out a mouthful of
water.  "What'd ya do that for?!"

	"You had it coming!"

	"But why did ya have to do it in front of the whole school?!  Jeez!  Why
can't you just act more like a girl sometimes?!"

	Akane's eyes grew and shimmered as if she were going to cry.  "WHO ARE YOU
TO JUDGE ME, RANMA!  YOU'RE NOT EVEN A MAN!"  Her chest heaved with
frustration and she looked slightly psychotic.

	Ranma's next words stuck in her throat; she looked down at herself and
winced as Akane's last sentence resounded through her head.

	Feeling deep regret at making their fight even worse--as well as dreading
the thought of his fiancee in tears--Ranma started to open her mouth to
apologize; but then she noticed that Akane was talking to Kunou.  _Where'd
he come from?_

	Kunou seemed to get more excited with every word Akane said.  "What?  The
pigtailed girl?  Agreed to date with me?  If I can but only catch her?  And
you will allow it?"

	Ranma shrieked.

	Kunou turned and threw his arms wide. "Pigtailed Girl!  My undying love
will chase you to the ends of the Earth!"

	"Waaaaaa!"  Ranma jumped out of the pool and started running with the
heartstricken swordsman hot on her tail.  Akane gleemed coldly at the
spectacle, then walked away.

	(CHEF'S NOTE: Poor Ranchan!)

              -----------===================------------
              |    Based on Characters Created by:     |
              |            Rumiko Takahashi            |
              -----------===================------------

	For nearly an hour, Ranma ran as fast as she could through the streets of
Nerima in an effort to lose the obsessed kendo master, but even when she
weaved madly around houses and through alleys, Kunou seemed to take the
most direct route to her location.  _Man!  How does this creep keep finding
me?  It's like he has radar or something!_

	Meanwhile, in a secret room underneath the Kunou mansion, Sasuke sat in
front of a keyboard and a huge wall monitor showing a gridworked blueprint
of Nerima; a line quickly rotated clockwise and two red blips could be seen
progressing rapidly across the screen.  Several ninja bustled in the
background carrying computer printouts and various other documents.  Sasuke
shouted into a microphone headset he was wearing, "Master Kunou, she's
doubling back toward the school!  Make a left at the next corner!  Wait!
It seems like she's stopped moving!"

	Ranma sat on a high wall and pulled the headset from Kunou as he passed
by, but he didn't seem to notice and kept running, shouting, "What was that
last message, Sasuke?  Repeat!"

	Ranma started walking along the wall in the opposite direction, casually
tossing the headset aside.  She jumped down to the street when she reached
the end of her narrow walkway.

	Someone caught her before she could reach the ground.  Ranma gasped when
she stared into Kodachi's face and noticed that she was wearing a similar
headset.  "So, Pig-tailed Hussy, I did not see my Ranma-sama leave school
today.  What have you done with him?!"

	"Waaaaaa!!!"  Ranma jumped from her opponent's arms as she produced a
long, yellow ribbon.

	(CHEF'S NOTE: Hold on Ranchan!  I'll save you!)

              -----------===================------------
              |     Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo      |
              |                  in:                   |
              -----------===================------------

	The sun was setting by the time Ranma was able to confiscate Kodachi's
headset--too bad the gymnast was still stalking her somewhere, and with a
new vengence.

	Ranma quickly stumbled down the street toward home with a determination
that rivaled... that of any other chase she had ever been in.  Her heart
was racing and a few beads of sweat flew from her forehead.  She glanced
back to see if the Black Rose was still following.

	Suddenly, a familiar voice came rushing toward her.  "What a haul!  What a
haul!"  Ranma's eyes darted forward, but not before she collided with a
big, soft potato-skin bag, with a simultaneous punch to the mid-section by
what she guessed was the "Old Pervert".

	Ranma pulled a pair of panties from her face and doubled over to try to
sooth the queeziness in her stomach.  Looking around, she could see that
the street was littered with lady's undergarments.  Happousai was on his
knees with a bra clutched in each of his tiny hands, and he appeared to be
crying.

	"All my beautiful panties.  It's a shame to see them all soiled on the
unclean ground like this.  They deserve better!"

	Ranma glared at him strangely.  "What're you babbling about, y'old freak!"

	Happousai's eyes brightened and he looked up.  His sadness resumed and he
threw his arms wide.  "Ranma, let me have a cry in your bosom!"

	Ranma prepared for an incoming projectile, then heard from down the
street, "Pig-tailed Girl!  I knew we were fated for each other!"  In the
opposite direction, she heard, "Hohohohohohohoho!"

	"Waaaaaaaaaaaa!"  Ranma picked a direction and ran.

	(CHEF'S NOTE: ALRIGHT YOU JACKASS AUTHOR!  STOP CHASING MY RANCHAN AROUND!
*sound of knives clanging together*)

              -----------===================------------
              |             NYANNIICHUAN:              |
              |           Very Tragic Story            |
              |                Part I                  |
              |   "When You Wish Upon a Marble...."    |
              -----------===================------------

	"Oh, my.  It's getting awefully late.  I hope Ranma is alright."  Kasumi
handed Akane her hot chocolate.

	Akane stared down at her drink.  "...."

	Nabiki was sitting on the couch opposite Akane.  "Just what did you do to
him THIS time?"

	Just then, they heard a knock at the door.  "I'll get it."  Kasumi walked
to the door and opened it.  "Oh, my."

	Ranma-chan wordlessly trudged in.  Her clothes were torn in several places
and there was a yellow ribbon hanging loosely around her neck and under her
arms.  Her lids were half open and no one was certain what she could have
been thinking at the time.

	Kasumi put her hand to her mouth.  "Are you alright, Ranma?"  No response.

	As Ranma passed the couch, Akane sheepishly offered, "Would you like some
hot chocolate?"  Ranma accepted the cup and poured the contents on herself,
restoring herself to manhood, then handed the cup back and kept walking.

	Akane growled in a dull tone, "Fine.  Be that way.  But you deserved it,
you know."

	Ranma paused, and everyone thought he was going to say something, but then
he proceeded for the stairs at the same slow pace.

	Kasumi smiled.  "Don't worry, Akane.  I'm sure he'll feel better about
whatever you did in the morning."

				*	*	*	*	*

	Ranma-kun ambled zombie-like to his sleeping mat and collapsed to his
knees.  He grumbled quietly to himself, "That was a dirty trick Akane
pulled--using my own cursed body against me."  _But then again, it IS a
curse._

	Ranma fell back and stared up at the ceiling.  "Why does she always have
to do something like that to me?  All I said was that if she wore her gi,
people might mistake her for one of the martial artists--or at least that's
what I thought I said."

	He clasped his hands behind his disheavaled hair and sighed.  _Then she
just had to haul off and hit me.  Not even a warning.  And to think that I
almost told her she looked cuter in a dress.  Hmmph.  What a tomboy._

	Akane's threatening voice echoed through his head as if in retaliation:
'Who are you to judge me, Ranma?  You're not even a man!'  Ranma winced and
rolled to the side as the words pierced him like a knife, yet another
insult to his manhood that stabbed deep into his thigh.  Wait.  That didn't
sound right.

	He sat up and started fumbling around in his pants' pocket for the true
culprit to his discomfort.  He began muttering to himself again: "Yeah,
some man.  I have Kunou tryin to date me, Kodachi tryin to kill me because
she thinks I stole her boyfriend or somethin, and the old freak...."  Ranma
shivered, not wanting to find a reasoning for Happousai's actions.

	His fingers finally closed around a small, round object wedged at the very
bottom of his pocket.  He brought his hand up to his face to find that he
was holding a shiny, silver marble--the same marble he had been carrying
around for days without knowing why (NOTE: If you don't know where the
marble came from, read HELLCATS.) (CHEF'S NOTE: It was given to him by
Happousai's son.) (NOTE: Hey!  Don't ruin their incentive to read!) (CHEF'S
NOTE: And finding out who Happy's son is isn't an incentive?).

	He looked at it curiously, wondering for the first time why he was keeping
it, and continued talking to himself.  "And now everbody in school is
findin out about my secret, and they think I'm some sort of freak or
pervert--I get enough of that from Akane."  He tightened his fists in
frustration.  "Oh, it seems like my girl form is the cause of half of all
my problems, and I have enough of em as it is!  Why did I have to get
cursed like this anyway?"

	Ranma quickly glanced at the panda sleeping on the next mat, realizing
that his voice was getting a little loud, but his pop was still snoring
with his back turned and didn't seem to notice.  Ranma shook his head and
stared once again at the marble in his hand.

	He yawned and tossed the marble to the side.  _It was a stupid question
anyway.  What's done is done, and I just have to live with it--for now."
Ranma fell back on the mat, turned on his side, and made himself
comfortable.  Soon, he was asleep.

	The 'marble', which had nestled itself in Genma's fur, began to glow
faintly and slowly increased in intensity, awakening to respond to the
question it was posed.

				*	*	*	*	*

	"Aaaaiiii!"  Ranma-chan was startled awake when a familiar, high-pitched
scream pierced the air, followed by a low rumble of thunder.  She instantly
pushed herself to her hands and knees to find herself in the middle of a
grassy meadow with a light but steady sheet of raindrops assaulting her
back, soaking her already tattered clothes to her skin.  Cold beads of
water dribbled down to her nose and chin as she stared at the ground in
blank shock and confusion, trying to consider whether or not she was
dreaming.  Finally, she pushed back a clump of red hair matted against her
forehead and glanced to one side, then the other.  "Where the heck am I?"

	Ranma sat back onto her knees and widened her field of vision.  The rain
had pushed the clump of hair back over her left eye, but she took no
notice.  Directly in front of her stood the treeline to a jungle.
Something about it seemed familiar.  She grasped her shoulders and shivered
slightly.

	"Nooo-oo-oooo-ooo!"  The familiar scream filled the sky once more, but
this time, it hovered across the landscape for several seconds like a
passing train.  Ranma froze.  It definitely wasn't Akane, but something
about the voice struck too close to home--and it was quivering as though it
were... crying.

	With all of her protective instincts now taking control, Ranma quickly
jumped to her feet and dashed in the direction of the distress.  Moving
away from the jungle, she found that the meadow abruptly became a steep
cliff, which ran parallel to the jungle as far as she could see.  And over
that cliff, not too far down, were dozens (maybe even hundreds) of ponds
grouped closely together.  Ranma's eyes grew wide in recognition.  "It
can't be."

	"Plee-ee-ee-ease!  Don't hurt him!"  The voice brought Ranma back to her
current mission.  It was right below her!  She dropped to the ground and
peered over the edge in awe.

				*	*	*	*	*

	A tall man wearing an intricately-designed, blue-and-orange robe and a
similarly painted theater mask was restraining a much shorter, red-headed
girl from behind; he had one arm slipped firmly around her waist, holding
her slightly off the ground, while his other hand was gripping a wad of her
long, crimson hair, forcing her to keep her head still.  Furthermore, her
soft blue robe was pulled over her shoulders down to her elbows, exposing
her entire naked body and successfully pinning her arms to her side.  Even
so, she squirmed in her captor's grasp as though she could still give him
the thrashing of his life.

	In front of her paced another man, shorter than his comrade but dressed
the same way.  One hand was resting on the hilt of a sword scabbarded on
his right side while the other hand was gripping what appeared to be a
small, unconscious black piglet.

	Tears were streaming down the girl's face, almost completely masked by the
persistant raindrops falling from the sky.  She made a futile effort to
throw herself forward, but her formidable restraint only tightened his grip
and yanked her head back.  She screamed in pain, but the two men did not
seem to care.  In a choked, quivering voice, she cried, "Why can't you just
leave us alone!?!"

	The pacing man ignored the plea.  "Emperor Fang is very displeased!  Your
father has failed him for the last time!"  The tall man grunted as if in
agreement.

	The shorter man stopped pacing, but did not turn to face her.  "The
Emperor had been generous in allowing your father to continue living on his
royal land.  All His Majesty asked for in return was that he tend and
harvest his personal rice plantation.  But now, it seems that YOUR FATHER
is incapable of the task."  The girl tried to speak, but the man behind her
pulled tighter, and her words stuck in her throat.

	The man in front of her drew his sword so swiftly that it seemed the blade
had just winked into existence.  "Your father is a disgrace!  You are a
disgrace!  You both do not deserve this land!"  He made a sweeping gesture
through the air with his sword, finishing the movement by gently tapping
the sharpened point onto her left breast, drawing a bead of blood.  "You
don't even deserve your dignity."  The man looked her up and down and
chuckled with some small satisfaction.

	"And this..."  He held up the pig and pointed to it with his sword.  "You
don't need this."  The red-haired girl tensed and tried to shout something,
but all she could do was cry.	But instead of impaling the little animal on
his sword, the man took a few steps to one of the pools, dropped to one
knee, and dunked it under the water.

	The girl's eyes flew wide in helpless horror.  "NIKO!"

	"Hey! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?"  The tall man looked
up in time to see a foot flying toward his face--then stars.  Ranma sprang
off of the guy's mask and landed flawlessly on the soft ground; the big man
stumbled backward with his hands clawing in front of him, and the girl he
was holding deliriously fell face-down in the mud with her arms still
pinned to her sides.

	The man executing the pig in the pond looked up in surprise to see his
taller friend staggering a bit while a red-haired girl in odd, tattered
clothes and a yellow ribbon assumed a battle-ready stance.  The shorter man
stared at the newcomer for a moment, then shouted, "Lon!  Kill her!
Aaaaarrrgghh!"  He quickly pulled his hand out of the water to find an
angered, black piglet with its jaws clamped around his first two fingers.

	Ranma stared coldly at her much-taller opponent (nearly twice her height,
actually) as he reoriented himself--she was surprised that the brute was
still standing after she slammed into him.  She heard his friend bark an
order to him.  She spat, "Lon.  So that's your name, is it?"

	Lon planted his feet firmly onto the ground and glared forward at his
challenger.  There was a long, diagonal crack down the middle of the
mask--as well as a few small chips around the eyes.  He balled his hands
into fists and appeared infinitely more menacing.

	Lon took a step forward and thrust his fist at Ranma, who dodged it
easily.  She then grabbed his arm and attempted to throw him over her
shoulder, but he stepped forward and locked his foot behind hers.
Abandoning the throw, Ranma pounded her opponent's chest and stomach with a
quick chestnut fist, landing at least seventy good blows.  Lon stumbled
back in pain and stunned disbelief, but he remained standing and seemed
more pissed off than anything.  Ranma's eyes flew wide.

	Meanwhile, Lon's companion was flailing his arm in desperation, trying to
throw the vile beast from his hand (CUTE VOICE: But is only pig.) (CHEF'S
NOTE: Sure.  The obnoxious pig FROM HELL!).  He couldn't knock it off with
his sword because his target had swung itself fully onto his hand--and he
would most likely hack his hand off before finishing the creature.
Dropping the sword, he pulled out a fairly large pouch and drove his
injured fist into it.  There was a slight *crack* as well as a *clunk* as
the pig's head collided with some wooden object inside.  He withdrew his
hand and eagerly pulled the drawstrings tight.  With a heave, he sent the
pouch sailing through the air and into one of the pools.

	Lon and Ranma circled each other, neither giving nor gaining ground.
Ranma was still stunned that her opposition had barely been affected by her
attack and felt a bit wary of initiating another.  Lon finally decided to
try to grab her; he reached out with his powerful arms, but Ranma ducked
with no problem.  He followed his attack by thrusting his knee at her head,
which barely missed.  Ranma grabbed one of his arms and his knee, fell
backward, and sent Lon hurtling through the air.  He flew several yards and
hit the side of the cliff Ranma had descended from.

	The remaining masked warrior picked up his sword and rushed at Ranma, but
a sturdy kick sent him flying up and into one of the pools (CHEF'S NOTE:
Oh, too bad.  You fall in Spring of Drowned Jackass.  Very tragic story of
jackass that drown in spring not too long ago.).

	Lon started to get up and prepare another attack, but then noticed a wolf
noiselessly dredging itself out of one of the pools (CUTE VOICE: Oh, too
bad.  You fall in Spring of Drowned Wolf.  Very tragic story of wolf that
drown in spring one thousand... wait.  Minus fifteen, carry three, add
two... hmmph.  When stupid wolf drown?).  His friend was nowhere to be
seen, but Lon had his suspicions as to what had happened.  Ranma's back was
turned, but Lon would rather deal with such a powerful foe--even a
girl--when the odds were more in his favor.  He got to his feet, and he and
the wolf sprinted quietly around the cliff.

	After shrugging off his second attacker, Ranma ran over and knelt beside
the red-headed girl who was still lying face-down and half-naked in the
mud.  She picked up the girl and held her at arms' length, asking, "Are you
alright?"

	The dizzied girl steadied herself on her knees, but her head was still
spinning.  Ranma was shocked at how much the girl was a mirror image of
herself; even with all the mud caked across her face, Ranma could see a
striking resemblance in the eyes.  She reached over and wiped away some of
the filth covering her mouth and nose, leaving the rest for the pouring
rain to wash away.

	The girl came to her senses and stared curiously at Ranma with a mixture
of excitement and fright.  Ranma met her gaze and held it for a few
seconds, then shifted her eyes downward and blushed slightly when she
became aware that the rain had already washed most of the mud from her
chest.  The girl made no motion to fix her robe, but was fixated on staring
at her living reflexion; so Ranma reached over and pulled the garment back
over her shoulders.

	The girl instantly threw her arms around her savior's neck and pulled her
close.  "I knew you would come for me someday, My Guardian Spirit!"  Ranma
gasped, unsure of what to do.

	Ranma shivered as she slowly became aware again that the icy rain
bombarding the area was getting worse, drenching them both thoroughly--and
the girl latched onto her neck was hardly dressed for such weather.  Ranma
gently pushed her away and closed the front of her robe, and the girl held
it together with her arms.  Ranma said, "You really should get out of the
rain.  You'll catch a cold out here."

	The girl shivered, becoming fully aware of her surroundings as well, then
nodded dumbly.  A second later, her eyes flew wide as she remembered her
travelling companion.  "Niko!  Where's Niko?!"

	Ranma watched her chest suddenly start heaving insanely fast; her eyes
shimmered sightlessly and her bottom lip quivered.  Ranma, worried because
of her sudden hysterical bout, anxiously agreed to stay and look for her
pet and told her to calm down.

	It didn't take long for Ranma to spot the brown, cloth bag half-floating
just beneath the surface of the water two pools away.  She grabbed a stick
from the ground and dashed over to the spring, taking care not to slip and
fall into one of the adjacent springs.  Breaking the surface of the dancing
pond with her stick, she prodded for the drawstrings and fished the bundle
out.

	After hastily retreating back to the shore, Ranma pulled the top open to
make sure she had actually found Niko.  She looked inside and paled
slightly, then muttered miserably to herself, "P-chan?"

	The other red-headed girl stiffened when she saw Ranma's expression,
gripping her robe even tighter around herself when her blood ran just a
little colder.  She pleaded, "What?  What is it?  Is he alright?"

	Ranma closed the bag and solemnly walked up to her.  Handing it to the
girl, Ranma's voice sank, "Sorry 'bout this."

	The girl didn't even look in the pouch; she just clutched it tightly to
her chest.  She threw her head back and howled in pain as if she had been
stabbed in the heart with a knife but was unable to die.  She once again
became oblivious to the chilling rain washing across her face and beating
her flesh into hundreds of goosebumps, threatening to wash her whole body
into the damp earth.

	Ranma knelt down beside her, trying to shield her from as much of the
torrent as possible.  The rain steadily picked up.  "C'mon.  I've got to
get you out of here."

				*	*	*	*	*

	Rain dropped from the sky in sheets.  Ranma romped up the sodden trail
with the strange girl cradled in her arms.  The girl seemed so withdrawn
with her pet's death, clamping her eyes shut and shriveling into a ball,
shutting out all light from the outside world; all she could do with
determination was clutch the leather bag as tightly as possible.  She felt
cold and weak, and Ranma thought she was probably starting to get sick.
Ranma felt sorry for her and could somehow relate to her.

	They both needed to get to someplace warm and dry, and to Ranma's relief,
she spied a cottage ahead--on top of the next small hill.  As she was
hoping, assuming that she really was in Jusenkyo for some strange reason,
the Jusenkyo Guide's house had to be nearby.  Ranma sloshed through the
puddles a bit faster.  The rain slacked up slightly as if allowing her to
seek sanctuary.

	Wasting no time, she kicked the door in and ran inside, but was stopped
short (no pun intended).  Standing before her was a balding, middle-aged
man in a samurai outfit--like Kunou wore--with a bokken pointed directly at
her (NOTE: No, it's not Kunou.).  He rubbed the side of his head with his
free hand as though he had a really bad headache.  His initial expression
was one of surprise, as if he weren't expecting company so soon, but then
his face contorted into a cross between anger and confusion.  Ranma
remained perfectly still, not wanting to provoke an attack with a sick girl
in her arms.

	"What manner of sorcery is this?! (NOTE: I repeat, this is not Kunou.)  Be
you some sort of apparition?  A doppelganger, perhaps?"  The man cocked an
eye at the girl in Ranma's arms, and his face darkened.  Ranma took a step
backwards.  He roared through his teeth, "If you have harmed my daughter in
any way...!"

	Ranma gasped and shook her head furiously, then prepared to retreat back
into the downpour (it looked alot safer out there).  Suddenly, the man's
eyes lit up, then his expression became placid.  Ranma raised her eyebrows
as he rescabbarded his sword and said thoughtfully, "No.  I don't suppose
you did.  And spirits do not usually leave puddles of water in people's
houses."  She looked down at the trail she was leaving.

	"Follow me."  He turned and walked into a room somewhere in the back.
Ranma looked back toward the front door, on the other side of which was a
steady torent, and weighed her options.  "We cannot waste time!" came the
old man's voice.  She hesitantly followed.

	Ranma entered the small room in which the man was waiting--showing more
patience than she would have expected from the girl's father.  He lit a
candle and two incense sticks and set them on a small table under the
window, then gestured toward the bed.  Ranma laid her gently on top of the
covers as bidden--the girl was more relaxed now and seemed to be sleeping.

	The old man felt his daughter's forehead and grunted noncommitally.  He
gently pried the pouch from her fingers and set it on the table.  "Now help
me get her undressed."  Ranma reflexively hesitated.

	The man pulled open her robe, then noticed that he was recieving no
assistance.  He stared back and met Ranma's shocked face.  "Do not tell me
ghosts are developing a sense of modesty now.  And even if you are not a
ghost, a girl should not find shame in another girl."

	Ranma huffed, somewhat irked, and stepped up to the bed.  She slipped her
arms underneath the girl's back and knees and raised her slightly, allowing
the man to slip the clinging fabric from his daughter's cold frame and pull
back the covers; she then set her back down with a soft sigh of relief.

	Drawing the covers to her neck, her father whispered, "Everything will be
fine, Miko.  You have a new friend now."  He stood up and rested a hand on
Ranma's shoulder and gently said, "I just need to get some medicine.
Please watch her."  He then left the room.

	Ranma knelt by her side and studied the almost lifeless features of her
face, still amazed at the nearly identicle resemblance to herself--no,
actually, exact resemblance.  The girl stirred a bit, and Ranma whispered,
"Don't worry, Miko, you're pop says you'll be fine."

	She cooed, "Guardian Spirit,"  and smiled.

				*	*	*	*	*

	"Excuse me for not introducing myself earlier.  My name is Doshin Lee."
He bowed slightly in his seat.

	They were seated across from each other at a small table in what Ranma
guessed was the kitchen.  The room was dim, lighted only by a few candles
and a dull lantern hanging from the ceiling.

	"Ranma Saotome," she roughly introduced as she stared at the lovely
blue-and-green blouse she was wearing that her host gave her from Miko's
wardrobe.

	"I am very grateful that you saved my daughter's life.  I owe you my life."

	Ranma glanced in his direction and gave a brief wave of dismissal.  "Peh.
It was nothin.  Forget it."

	Doshin raised his eyebrows.  "Taking on Emperor Fang's personal guard
--especially Lon--is no mean task.  It was because of Lon that Miko was
taken from me so easily.  No.  You are very special indeed.  I owe you a
great debt, and I would take it as an insult if you did not accept."

	Ranma sighed heavily.  "Ok."  Everything that was happening to her seemed
both real and unreal, like a vivid dream (or a slightly atypical day in
Nerima); whether it was or not, he/she would not insult Doshin's honor with
an argument.  After a moment of thought, she said, "You can start by
telling me why those creeps were getting ugly with Miko back there."

	Doshin looked confused, then decided he caught the gist of what she was
asking.  He let out a deep breath, then began his story: "Many years ago,
soon after Miko and I moved here, a group of religious zealots visited the
villages in the area proclaiming a new ruling dynasty for the people of
China.  'Bring China back to the Chinese!' they preached.  And among the
leaders of the public rallies was Emperor Xi Fang."  Doshin spat the name
sourly.  "I don't know why I still call him Emperor--he is no...."  He
looked sideways at Ranma, who was staring at him in wide-eyed disbelief.
"Is there something wrong with my tale?"

	"What'd ya mean 'new ruling dynasy' and 'Bring China back to the
Chinese!'?  Who's runnin the country?"  Ranma hadn't expected that.

	Doshin looked at her curiously again.  "The Wei.  Fang protests their
occupation.  He decrees that he will overthrow the 'northern barbarians'
and take over as ruling Emperor of China."

	_Uh, Ok._  Ranma bit her lower lip and muttered, "Yeah, go on."

	"As of yet, the Wei have no knowledge of Fang's presence, even though he
claims most of the Qinghai region.  He threatens the villagers into
submission and few others wish to deal with him.  Anyone who crosses 'his'
land must pay a tax."  He cleared his throat and began more slowly.  "I was
unable to pay the tax.  Miko and I only wanted to be left alone, but Fang
swore he'd lock us in the dungeon if I didn't pay.  So I struck a bargain
that he found acceptable.  I could keep my property if I managed his royal
rice field.  At first, I, with the help of my daughter and many of the
villagers, was able to handle the task.  But now, most of the villagers
have either been enlisted into Fang's army or they are in debtor's prison.
I am unable to fulfill my half of the pact with so few workers left.  He
says I have dishonored the agreement and he seeks reparation."

	Ranma had her head resting on her folded arms.  She stared up at Doshin's
face, half-listening to his voice and half-wondering what the heck was
going on.  She nodded slightly to signify that he hadn't lost her--completely.

	He leaned closer, bringing his eyes more level with hers.  "Even though I
owe you much already, I must ask you an important favor.  Emperor Fang will
now try to harm Miko because he knows it would pain me more than anything
else that he can do to me.  I beg you.  Look after Miko and make sure she
stays safe."

	Ranma nodded expressionlessly.

				*	*	*	*	*

	Emperor Fang sat atop his raised throne with arms crossed, half-smiling in
amusement as his colorful court jester pranced and tumbled clumbsily around
the inner chamber.  His wife sat on a stool by his feet and hummed a gay
tune as she thoughtfully sewed the hem of his robe.  She herself had on a
blue Japanese-style, flowered kimono.

	The jester performed a series of complicated backflips, crossed his arms
and legs in mid-flight, and barely managed to unfold himself and catch
himself with his hands, his nose only a fraction of an inch from the floor.
 The Empress spoke softly, "Truly, Husband, I do not understand how you can
find pleasure in watching the court fool stumble about the room like that."
 She did not look up from her work--but didn't really need to to know what
was going on.

	Fang's smile widened, but his eyes remained fixed on the clown.  "Ah.  But
that is because you do not care to look for the grace belying his art.
Despite his awkward and careless manner, I have seen him take several of my
best men in combat.  Whatever he may be, he is no fool."

	His wife gave a dull sigh and continued humming to herself.  The tune
almost offset the jester's blundering. (CHEF'S NOTE: What, Barnum & Bailey?)

	The jester finished his routine with a deep bow sweeping all the way to
the floor.  He fanned his arms outward as he rose, like a graceful swan
preparing to take flight, and balanced himself on one foot.  The Empress
glanced at him and grinned--she knew what was coming next.  The jester drew
in a breath and emitted a smooth, crisp note that echoed throughout the
chamber.

	But before he could follow into the song any further, a pair of guards
opened the main doors and one of Fang's personal warrior's burst in--by the
exceptional height of the man, it had to be Lon; he walked half-way to the
throne and bowed.  Fang bowed at the new arrival and dismissed his jester
with a wave.  The woman resting at his feet began to protest, but quickly
remembered her place.

	Fang raised an eyebrow when he noticed that Lon's mask had been damaged.
His wife also looked up in surprise.  Lon spoke in a heavily grated voice,
"We have had some difficulties.  The girl still lives."

	Fang slammed his fists into the armrests, damning the first shred of bad
news he had heard all day.  "What!  How could this be?  And where is Pae-Kau?"

	Lon cringed back a bit, then bowed forgiveness.  "A strange girl descended
from the sky to challenge us.  She fought like a demon!  I was unable to
defeat her.  She threw Pae-Kau into one of the springs."

	Emperor Fang, calming down, rubbed his chin and stared blankly at the
floor, deeply disturbed by the news and what it could mean.  His wife
dropped her needle in frozen shock.  Lon added in a low tone, "And another
thing, Your Majesty.  I could have sworn that the stranger looked exactly
like Doshin's daughter."  Fang's eyes widened once more and his wife turned
pale.

	The court jester sat on the floor across the room and listened.  He folded
his arms and twisted his face, musing at the strange turn of events.  He
then glanced over at the dark form of a woman peeking from behind a heavy
curtain leading to some hidden chamber.

				*	*	*	*	*

	After eating a handful of roots and berries that Doshin had handed her to
eat, Ranma decided to get some sleep.  It took at least half an hour to
convince her host that he didn't need to give up his bed for her sake--she
always slept on the floor anyway.  He eventually ended up giving her a
heavy blanket and a makeshift pillow so that she could bed down on the
livingroom floor.

	However, visions of the day's events dwelled within her and prevented her
from finding a comfortable position.  Ranma rolled onto her back with a
sigh and stared up at the ceiling, listening to the dying patter of the
rain as it bounced off the roof.  Since she woke up that morning,
everything that happened seemed radically out-of-place.  Was it really
morning when she awoke?--the sky was so murky that she couldn't tell what
time of day it was, and she could have been wandering through the rain with
Miko for hours for all she knew.

	Ranma was wide awake, not even sure if she should be tired.  _Oh, man.
What's going on here?  Where am I?  Could this really be Jusenkyo?_

	_The old man said that the Wei were in control of China.  I think I
remember the history teacher one time sayin somethin about the Wei taking
over China a really long time ago or somethin like that.  And China used to
have alot of dynasties. (CHEF'S NOTE: Spoken like a true student of
history.) So am I somehow in China's past?  How could that be?_

	She closed her eyes.  _The Old Ghoul!  I bet she has something to do with
this.  Oooooh, when I get my hands on her...._ (CUTE VOICE: HAH!  Oh, sorry.)

	She growled to herself and dismissed that thought for the moment.  _Those
pools out there did look like the Cursed Springs... and from the outside,
this does look like the Jusenkyo Guide's house... But if I'm in Jusenkyo's
past...."  The voice of the Jusenkyo Guide haunted through her head,
"...Very tragic legend of pig that drown in spring one thousand two hundred
year ago." (CHEF'S NOTE: Wow.  And Ranma wasn't even there when he said
it.) (NOTE: Oh, be quiet.)  Ranma swallowed heavily when she remembered
looking inside the bag and finding Miko's little black pig, who did look
more waterlogged than anything.

	The Jusenkyo Guide's voice rose up again, "...Very tragic legend of girl
that drown in spring one thousand five hundred year ago."  Ranma shook her
head.  _Why'd I have to think of that?  That's three hundred years apart._
(NOTE: Very good, Grasshopper.) An image of herself popped into her head,
and a different voice she vaguely remembered said, "You also remind me of
the girl who drowned in Nyaniichuan so many years ago."  Yet another
distant voice, which sounded like her own, sputtered, "I wike you.  Wanna
pway?"  _Huh?_  "Guardian Spirit?"  _Wha?_

	Ranma opened her eyes to see herself staring upside-down at her--no wait,
it was Miko.  She was standing over Ranma's head, shivering as she held a
blanket tightly around herself.  Ranma kicked back her cover and quickly
sat up, still fully clothed.  "Miko, what're ya doin up?"

	Miko sniffled a few times and her teeth chattered.  "I'm scared, Guardian
Spirit.  Could you sleep in my room?  Please."

	Ranma stared into her glimmering eyes and found that she couldn't deny her
request.  Anyway, she was still in danger--possibly in more ways than one.
_Just as long as she doesn't ask me to sleep in her bed._  Ranma gave a
slight nod and Miko's face brightened.

	Ranma collected her own blanket and pillow and started for Miko's room.
"Come on."  It didn't take her long to notice that Miko hadn't moved.  She
looked back and saw a tear roll down Miko's cheek.  Ranma raised her
eyebrows.  "What's wrong?"

	Her voice shook, "I can't take another step without falling."  Her legs
did look kind of shaky.  Ranma rushed to her side and helped her walk.

	After helping Miko lay back on the bed and then readjusting her covers for
her, Ranma spread her own blanket on the floor in the middle of the room
and settled down.  Ranma felt a little more at ease--Miko was certainly
looking better than she was earlier, and a little more color had entered
her cheeks--and finding a comfortable sleeping position wasn't so much a
problem.

	Ranma closed her eyes when Miko murmered, "Guardian Spirit."

	Ranma guessed she meant her.  "Yeah."

	"Thank You."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Well, that's my first installment of Nyanniichuan: Very Tragic Story.
Hope you like it.  It's definitely darker than I planned to write it when I
started (CUTE VOICE: You not kidding.).  Tell me what you think. (CHEF'S
NOTE: Another Chinese bimbo to chase my Ranchan around.) (CUTE VOICE: Hey!)
(CHEF'S NOTE: Ha ha!  Made you look!) !Bonk! (CUTE VOICE: Stupid spatula
girl.)

	And while we wait for our kind editor to recover from her concussion, I'll
be signing off.  Until next chapter!