R1/2 -- Chris Collins (1clc0772@unixstew.tstc.edu)

	I'm sorry!  I'm guilty!  I killed a little back pig in the Ranmaverse!
But you have to remember that this is a very tragic story.  Things have
died in the Cursed Springs.

	I suppose I could have done something like making him nearly-drown--I've
heard somewhere that someone made a Spring of Drowned Akane by throwing her
into a pit and dumping magical water over her (but I could be
mistaken)--but that would ruin the drama of the fanfic.

	(CHEF'S NOTE: In other words, what he's tryin to say is 'Get off my back,
jackass.  It's my damn story.)

	(CUTE VOICE: Now on with the show.)

              -----------===================------------
              |       An Iron Dagger Production        |
              -----------===================------------

	Doshin leaned on his shovel as if it were a cane and bowed his head in
respect while Miko, wearing a blouse and pants similar to Ranma's, slowly
and cerimoniously marched out the cabin door with a neatly wrapped cloth
bundle held close.  Ranma-chan sat lotus-style on a nearby tree stump and
watched the mournful event attentively, still trying to decide whether
everything that was happening was real and she should feel sad for the
girl, or whether it was all an elaborate dream and she should try to find
some deep, spiritual meaning in it (CUTE VOICE: Always dream of killing
'The Pig'.  Must kill 'The Pig'.).  Miko's drawn expression brought a tear
to Ranma's eye, nevertheless.

	Miko was holding herself amazingly well, trying her best not to burst out
crying (CHEF'S NOTE: Why couldn't Father build that funeral pier so we
could have Niko cremated like I've always wanted.) (CUTE VOICE: Hehe.  Burn
'The Pig'!) (NOTE: Shutup!  You're spoiling the atmosphere!), but the
trembling of her lip and the redness of her eyes depicted how much Niko's
death had actually taken its toll.

	She stopped in front of the small hole her father had dug and stared at it
with contempt.

              -----------===================-----------
              |        Writen and Directed by:        |
              |        Christopher Lee Collins        |
              -----------===================-----------

	Miko nudged the bundle against her cheek and sighed distantly.  Her eyes
started shimmering like twin, glassy pools.

	Doshin glanced up at his daughter and recognized her
I-never-want-to-give-you-up look.  He said softly, "You must to let him go,
Miko.  Niko has fulfilled his destiny."

	Her father's words only seemed to make her eyes more tearful.  She curled
her bottom lip and snapped, "How can you be so cruel?  Niko was my closest
friend.  He can't be dead now."

	"And yet you hold the proof in your arms."  Doshin quickly shifted his
eyes downward, as if he had just uttered a blasphemy.   He hated to argue
with his daughter over personal attachments.

	But instead of pursuing the matter further, she looked at the burial cloth
in her hands and sighed.  "I guess you're right."

	She glanced in Ranma's direction.  "Is there nothing you can do, Guardian
Spirit?"  Ranma furiously shook her head.

	Miko let out another heavy sigh.  "Then could you say a few last words for
him?  Please."

	Ranma raised her eyebrows and pointed to herself.

              -----------===================-----------
              |    Based on Characters Created by:    |
              |           Rumiko Takahashi            |
              -----------===================-----------

	Ranma had never been to a funeral before.  She held the wrapped body in
her outstretched arms like it was something infinitely fragile.  A bead of
sweat ran down her face.  _What the heck am I supposed to say?  It's dead!_

	"Ok, here'i goes...."

	However, finding the right thing to say was harder than she expected.
After stumbling around with her words for a few seconds, she sighed and
settled on, "Look, I'm sorry I wasn't there in time to save you.  I'm sure
you were a pretty decent pig."

	Miko seemed to be satisfied with that, and she gave a faint smile.  As an
impulse, Ranma brought the bundle closer to her face and whispered, "You
don't know how much trouble you're gonna cause me in the future, y'little
runt."

	An image popped into Ranma's head of a little, black pig nestled up to
Akane in bed; the pig winked an eye open and snickered in taunting 'bwei's.

	Ranma snorted and turned up her nose, then tossed P-chan's body over her
shoulder toward the hole.

	_Oops._  The word entered her head just after the cloth slipped from her
fingers.  Ranma quickly turned around and dropped to her knees in time to
catch Niko just inches from the hole.  Miko and Doshin glared at her in shock.

	Ranma tried to smile innocently.  "Sorry.  Must have slipped."  She then
set the bundle gently into it's final resting place.

              -----------===================-----------
              |             Ranma Saotome             |
              |                  in:                  |
              -----------===================-----------

	(CHEF'S NOTE: That's my Ranchan.  Slow with the delivery, but quick with
the save.)

	(CUTE VOICE: And who say he yours, spatula girl?)

	(CHEF'S NOTE: Well he certainly ain't yours, Garfield!)

	(CUTE VOICE: Hey!  Who you call Garfield?  I better looking!)

	(NOTE: Hey you two!)

	(BOTH: What?)

	(NOTE: It's been awefully quiet.  Anyone know what happened to Happousai?)

	(BOTH: Who cares?)

	(OLD VOICE: Hi, everybody!  Did ya miss me?  Just got back from a glorious
panty raid--and what a haul!)

	(CHEF'S NOTE:$#&@!)

	(CUTE VOICE: Stupid author! You jinx us!)

              -----------===================-----------
              |             NYANNIICHUAN              |
              |           Very Tragic Story           |
              |                Part 2                 |
              |        "Guardian Spirit Ranma"        |
              -----------===================-----------

	"You lost the idol!  How could you be so careless!"  Emperor Fang kicked
the wolf half-way across the throneroom.  Lon glanced at his transformed
friend, who was trembling with his tail between his legs.  Fang shouted,
"Pae-Kau, you are worthless!  Bad dog!  Now get out of my sight!"  The wolf
whimpered on his way out.

	Lon faced forward and stood at attention.  The Emperor stared coldly at
the wolf for a while longer, then turned away and ordered one of the guards
to escort it out.  He turned to Lon and started pacing in front of him.
Smiling, Fang said, "I guess I should be angry with you too.  After all,
you were supposed to make sure Pae-Kau was successful.  In addition, you
allowed a stranger to best you in combat--a woman, no less."  Lon tensed
his muscles a bit.

	Fang faced him directly.  "But you are not accountable for Pae-Kau's
mistakes, and you are much to valuable to punish."  Lon smiled under his
mask.  Fang folded his arms.  "No, you are forgiven, for now.  I have much
more important tasks for you to perform."

	Fang walked back to his throne.  "First of all, I am going to need a new
guard captian as soon as Pae-Kau is," his face darkened, "formally demoted."

	They both looked toward the door, where Pae-Kau's escort was just
returning, and his lower left leg was soaking wet.  He shook his leg a few
times before calmly taking his post. (CHEF'S NOTE: It's Pae-Kau's way of
saying 'Screw you, jackass.') (CUTE VOICE: Also way of saying 'I pee on
your leg.') (NOTE: ....  Why me?)

				*	*	*	*	*

	"Damn that Pae-Kau! (CHEF'S NOTE: Oh, sure!  It's bash Pae-Kau week!) Can
he do nothing right?"  The Empress paced wildly in front of what appeared
to be a large campfire a few yards away, the only source of illumination in
the room.  The flickering and crackling light made shadows dance across her
face and around her feet as though they were laughing at her discomfort.

	"It changes nothing."  On the opposite side of the fire, sitting with legs
crossed and eyes closed in meditation, was a soft-featured woman with a
long fell of purple hair and a loose-fitting, orange-and-blue tigerstriped
jumpsuit.  "As long as your husband does not possess the idol, our plans
remain unchanged."

	The Empress stopped and folded her arms.  "I still do not like it.  I
would prefer the idol be in OUR hands."

	The other woman responded flatly, "We do not need it.  My powers are more
potent than anything that relic could bring us."

	The Empress rolled her eyes.  "Please, do not flatter yourself."

	A wispy, masculine voice calmly reasoned, "I believe that what My Queen
fears is the chance of someone else discovering the idol.  Lost items will
eventally be found."

	The Empress smiled and glanced radiantly at the court jester, who was
merely a checkered form of red and yellow in the darkness.  She nodded.
"Thank you, Liu-Sing.  And please, you may call me Chun-Mae."  The figure
appeared to bow.

	The purple-haired woman almost sneered.  "And what will that 'someone
else' do with the idol?  It's just a useless scrap of wood unless one knows
it's purpose."

	Chun-Mae shot the speaker a stern look.  "Watch your tone when you speak
to me, witch woman!  And you may address me as 'My Queen'."

	The woman clenched her teeth.  "Yes, My Queen."

	After a moment of silence, the witch woman dramatically raised her arms
over her head, then let them slowly fall to her sides.  In the next
instant, her arms became a blur as her hands quickly dipped into and out of
the flames before her.  When she was finished, she swept both arms outward
and the fire fizzled out; at the same time, dozens of torches lit up around
the room, revealing that they were in a spacious, underground cavern as big
as the throneroom itself.

	Liu-Sing, casually leaning against a rocky wall, chuckled, "Salon does
have a flair for the impressive."  The Empress nodded.

	The witch woman clenched her left fist in her right hand and !CRACK CRACK!
 The two onlookers winced at what sounded like the snapping of a small
bone.  She then cupped one hand and brought pieces of something from her
hand to her mouth.

	Chun-Mae craned her head and looked confused.  "Chestnuts?"

	Salon glanced up at her.  "What did you think the fire was for?"

	The other two facefaulted.

				*	*	*	*	*

	Ranma-chan and Miko sat down at the table, each with a plate of roots and
berries in front of her.  Ranma ate ravenously (as usual) and cleared her
plate in seconds.  Miko, however, only stared blankly at her food and
sighed, her arms hanging limply to her sides.

	Ranma spoke out of the side of her mouth as she chewed, "I'm glad to see
you're feeling better today.  You didn't look too good last night."

	"...."

	Ranma raised her eyebrows, understanding that something was bothering her.
 "Aren't you hungry?  You haven't eaten since... well, I haven't seen you
eat anything yet."

	Miko sighed heavily, "I miss him already."  She paused and looked at Ranma
for a while, making her feel uneasy, then began again, "Niko would always
sit beside me when I ate, and I'd always give him something from my plate."

	Ranma stared at her, half-striken, then smiled.  "You can give me
something from your plate." (CHEF'S NOTE: Way to go, Guardian Spirit.)
After realizing what she had said, she bit her lower lip.

	But to Ranma's surprise, Miko started to smile, then let out a quick
giggle.  "Well, it seems like you do eat like a pig...."

	Ranma folded her arms and huffed.  Miko quickly apologized.  But Ranma
tilted her head to the side and said, "It's Ok.  I guess I sorta do, don't I."

	Miko looked up and joyfully nodded.  She picked up a root and held it
half-way across the table; Ranma leaned over and bit the end off, then sat
back in her chair.  Miko laughed a tear from her eye.

	She took a bite of the root as well.  "I hope you don't mind eating these
things, Guardian Spirit.  I mean... you're probably use to something
more...."  She trailed off, not sure of the right word to complete her
thought.

	Ranma put her hands behind her head.  "Don't worry 'bout it.  I had to eat
this stuff all the time when I traveled everywhere with my pop."

	Miko looked at her strangely.  "Your... pop?"

	Ranma realized she didn't understand.  "Y'know, my dad... my father."

	Miko leaned forward, interested.  "Oh?  Who is your father and where did
he take you?"

	Ranma nervously looked around the room, realizing that she wasn't prepared
to heap her whole life story on her just yet.  Miko nodded, "I understand."

	Ranma quickly sputtered, "It's not like I won't tell you or nothin.  It's
just that it's kinda complicated and...."

	Miko smiled and shoved a berry into Ranma's mouth.  "You don't need to
explain yourself, Guardian Spirit.  All that matters is that you're here."

	Ranma shrugged and chewed her food.  An uneasy silence filled the room,
and Miko stared at her half-eaten root while she though of something to say.

	Miko's face suddenly lit up as she just remembered something.  "I've got a
present for you."  Ranma glanced at her, slightly curious, when she pulled
a small, wooden statue from somewhere under the table.   Miko gleefully
handed the object to her guardian and waited patiently for a response.

	Ranma held the object up to her face and examined it with as much
enthusiasm as a wooden object could warrant from her--yet it did look odd.
It was a finely carved, oaken icon of a really fat, thick feathered bird
with a somewhat slumped forehead perched atop a smooth half-sphere.  "Man.
This is the goofiest looking bird I've ever seen."  It reminded him of one
of those mosterous, overfed, granddaddy pigeons that liked to perch atop
statues in the park.

	Miko looked a bit shocked.  "But Guardian Spirit... that's a phoenix."
(NOTE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Just like in the OAV.  I had my reasons for using
it.)

	Ranma looked at it more closely.  _It's still a goofy-looking bird._  "So,
where'd you find it?"

	Miko looked down to hide her eyes.  "*sniffle* I found it in the leather
bag with Niko.  *sniff sniff* I know you tried your best to save him, and I
wanted you to have the statue to... I don't know...."  She glanced up in
grief and embarrassment.  "You don't like it, do you?"

	A drop of sweat formed aside Ranma's face when she realized she was on the
verge of wounding Miko's pride.  She set the wooden bird on the table and
patted it gently.  "I'm very honored to recieve your gift.  Thanks."

	Miko's emotional state went from near-depression to ecstatic joy so fast
that even a manic-depressive would feel dizzy.  _She's HONORED!_  Miko
sqealed in delight and threw her arms about Ranma's neck.  "I'm so glad you
like it, Guardian Spirit!"  Ranma gasped for air.

				*	*	*	*	*

	Ranma stretched and walked around the cabin with her hands clasped behind
her back, admiring the warm morning sun as an artist would admire a
painting or as her pop would admire a large buffet--its radiance was
reassuring after a long day of cold rain.

	Miko followed close behind, mimicking her guardian's every move, trying
patiently to figure out new things about her new friend.  At that moment,
she was marveling at how light her guardian's steps were, almost a whisper
next to the monotonous crunching sound she made even in her softest strides.

	Ranma felt a bit uneasy about being observed so closely but remained
silent.  Miko had a right to be curious, and there was probably no way to
make her go away without hurting her feelings.

	They both wandered around to what could be considered the back yard.
Doshin was deep in some sort of slow exercise: it looked like a cross
between ta'i chi and kendo, where he would altenate between graceful
motions with his arms and graceful motions with his bokken.  Ranma sat down
on a nearby log and watched with interest, Miko by her side.

	Miko peered around and tried to meet Ranma's eyes, but her guardian seemed
to be captivated by her father's practice.  She spoke up anyway: "You left
your statue on the table, but then I guess you don't have anywhere to put
it, so I'll keep it for you until you need it."

	"Uh.  Ok.  Thanks."

	Miko frowned, disappointed that her guardian didn't even twitch in her
direction.  She was desperately trying to start a long, meaningful
conversation. (OLD VOICE: I guess Ranma's better conversation than nothing
at all.)  She tried asking, "How do you like the clothes Father gave you?"

	Ranma stared straight.  "They're Ok, I guess.  Why?"

	Miko looked a little disappointed--she still didn't have the attention she
wanted.  She said in a weak tone, "Oh, never mind."

	Ranma turned nervously, sure she had said SOMETHING wrong.  "I mean...
they're really nice.  I just... I...."

	Miko kept herself from gushing with emotion.  "I made them."

	Ranma examined her sleeves closely.  "You did?!"  _Too much surprise.
Sounded insincere._  "I mean... you did?"  _That's better._

	Miko smiled, focusing on the implied complement rather than the tone.
"I'm glad you like it.  I sort of hurried on that one and wasn't sure if it
was any good."

	Ranma tried to show more interest.  "Why?  How long did it take you?"

	"I started on it during my morning meal two days ago and worked on it
while I ate."

	Ranma raised an eyebrow.  "And when did you finish."

	Miko's bubbled, "When I finished eating." (NOTE: Bubbling--that thing
Azusa does.)

	Ranma facefaulted and Miko started giggling like it was the funniest sight
she'd ever seen (which it probably was).

	Doshin glanced over at the two girls and shook his head.  _There she goes
again: trying to impress every person she meets._  "Miko."  Both girls
looked up in unison, like siamese twins with the same name.  He shook his
head again.  "I seem to have forgotten my bow again.  Would you please
fetch it for me?"

	Miko waved cheerfully and shouted, "Ok, Father!  Be right back!"  She
turned to Ranma and whispered, "Later, I'll show you the rest of my
wardrobe, the ones I took my time on," then she sprinted off, giggling
(like Azusa).

	Ranma watched her round the corner, wondering if she was joking, and then
turned back to Doshin.  He was now pointing his bokken, both hands on
handle, toward a log that was standing upright on a tree stump. (CUTE
VOICE: I think log called tree trunk.)  He bowed toward it, took a step
forward, and fluidly sliced the log down its center and across its middle,
so that four equal pieces of wood fell to the ground.  He bowed once more,
then saw out of the corner of his eye that Ranma rolled her eyes at him.

	He turned to her and bowed.  "Did you find something wrong with my
technique?"

	Ranma gave him a dismissing wave, but then decided to say it anyway.  She
twiddled her thumbs and tried not to meet his gaze.  "Well... it's just
that... I've found... over the years... that blocks of wood just don't put
up that much of a fight."

	Doshin thought about her words for a while and bowed once more.  "I accept."

	"Huh?"

	"I accept your challenge."

	Ranma looked to both sides to make sure there was no one else he could
have been talking to.  "You want to fight ME?"

	Doshin rested both hands on the pommel of the bokken, its tip planted
softly into the ground.  "Spar with you.  Perhaps YOU can teach me
something new, honored guardian. (CUTE VOICE: Yeah.  Like Husband better
fighter than you.)"  He turned his head and smiled.  "Don't worry, I'll go
easy on you."

	Ranma groaned and started walking toward him.  "Well, I guess I really do
need to start practicing with someone."

	"Practice what?  What's going on?"  Miko trotted toward Ranma with a bow
and a quiver of arrows slung on her back.

	Doshin took a step back and to the side.  "Your Guardian Spirit claims to
fight better than wood, and she has allowed me the privelige of testing
that theory." (CHEF'S NOTE: Fool!  You can never hope to be half the
showoff Ranchan is.)

	Ranma groaned again.  "Well, ya didn't really have'ta put it THAT way."

	Miko's face twisted in confusion for a moment, then horror when she
silently repeated them.  She grabbed one of Ranma's arms with both of hers.
 "Don't, Guardian Spirit.  Father is quite good.  You might get hurt."

	Ranma turned to her and smiled.  "Don't worry.  I can take care of myself."

	Miko stared into Ranma's eyes and concluded that her guardian wouldn't be
detered, so she returned, defeated, to the log they both had been sitting
on.  Ranma faced Doshin and smiled, but Doshin remained expressionless.

	They both bowed to each other and Doshin brought his sword before him, but
Ranma just clasped her hands behind her back.  Doshin raised an eyebrow.
"Are you not ready?"

	Ranma looked at him seriously and nodded.  "Mm Hm.  I'm going on the
defensive."  She turned her head a bit, mocking him.  "Am I moving too fast
for you already?"

	Miko chuckled.  "I think she's immitating a log, Father."

	Ranma looked up and to the side.  "I dunno.  I've seen some logs move
faster."  _Yeah.  When Akane throws 'em at me._

	Her attention was brought back to Doshin when she felt a light tap on her
shoulder.  "I have managed to overcome your mighty defenses, Guardian Ranma."

	Ranma rolled her eyes.  "Oh, gee.  I can feel my arm trying to fall off
already."  Miko almost fell backwards with laughter. (CHEF'S NOTE: Yes,
catch it all right here!  It's the battle of the egos!) (CUTE VOICE: Only
on pay-per-view.)

	Both opponents faced each other once more.  Ranma took up her 'defensive'
posture and Doshin readied his sword.  Ranma could see in his eyes that he
was going to really strike this time--well, sort of.

	Doshin swung for her left shoulder, then her right, then her left again,
then a sweep across the top.  Ranma just stood in one place and banked
right, then left, then right, then bent backwards, respectively, and
nothing connected.  Ranma straightened up and said, "You don't have to hold
back just because I'm a girl."  Miko stared in amazement.

	Doshin nodded and attacked again, swiping across both shoulders and low at
her feet so fast that it seemed as though he was drawing a triangle in
mid-air.  Ranma jumped through and landed in the same spot.  Picking up the
pace, he started a series of slashes that seemed like he was drawing a
bunch of man-sized stars, but Ranma somehow managed to evade them all.

	To Miko, his next attack seemed like one continuous blur, like it was
everywhere at once, but her guardian seemed to be winking in and out of
existence in the nick of time.  Within seconds, they were moving too fast
to see, and her own heart started racing with worry.  She heard her
guardian call to her, "You're right, Miko!  He is pretty good!"

	Doshin broke from the blur and proceeded with a flurry of jabs, whereupon
Ranma executed a chestnut fist that countered every blow.  Suddenly, the
swordsman spun around and kicked for Ranma's head, and she only barely
blocked with a similar kick, and the struggling pause lasted long enough
for Miko to see that neither one had sustained an injury, but they both
were noticeably sweating.

	After a quick duel of fast-paced kicks and a few more failed sword swipes,
Doshin flipped backward to a small tree stump and slashed at its base.  The
stump flew from its roots and shot like a frisbee toward Ranma.  Miko
gasped and peeked through her fingers.  Ranma did another chestnut fist,
and the stump seemed to hover in front of her until it was reduced to sawdust.

	Meanwhile, somewhere off in the dense trees and bushes, a pair of robed
arms pushed past the leaves and notched an arrow on a bow, aiming it toward
Miko.  She was still a good distance away, but she was also unmoving--it
would just be a matter of aiming.  However, a massive hand reached out and
grasped the arrow where it crossed the bow, and the weapon slowly withdrew.

	Doshin rushed at Ranma with sword held high, but Ranma halted it in
mid-slash by gripping onto the wooden blade.  Her attention seemed to be
focusing on something else.  She asked, "Did you hear something?"

	Doshin cocked his head toward the wind and listened, then muttered, "You
mean like a bowstring being drawn tight?"

	"Uh... yeah, something like that."

	He rested his bokken on his shoulder.  "I think we should go inside now."
Ranma nodded.  They both bowed to one another, then walked back toward Miko.

	Miko jumped up and started running toward them with a ghastly look on her
face.  She grabbed Ranma by the shoulders and shook her violently,
shouting, "Please, don't scare me like that ever again!"

	Doshin took his daughter by the shoulders and held her close to his side
while they walked back into the house, making sure he was standing between
her and what he had heard.  Ranma glanced back at the looming jungle and
frowned--she had a bad feeling they were being watched.

				*	*	*	*	*

	Miko poured some hot tea into her guardian's cup and asked curiously,
"Again, where did you say Father went?"  She sat down and filled her own cup.

	Ranma-chan glanced out the window.  "He... he wanted to find something for
us to eat for lunch."  Miko looked confused.  "...We eat it during the
middle of the day?"

	Miko nodded.  "The mid-day meal."

	Ranma nodded.  "Yeah."

	"And that's why he took his bow?"

	Ranma took a sip of her tea.  "Uh huh.  He wanted something besides nuts
and berries for a change."

	Miko twisted her face.  "Father?  Hunting?  Hmmm.  Father very rarely eats
any meat."  Ranma looked a little nervous, thinking her story wouldn't hold
up, but then Miko glimmered, "Oh!  I guess with you here, Guardian Spirit,
today is a VERY special occasion."  Ranma let out a sigh of relief, then
Miko added, "I guess he's gone to get something for a sacrificial offering
in your honor." (CUTE VOICE: Wha?) (CHEF'S NOTE: I knew it!  She's a
witch!) Ranma gasped, hoping she was just kidding.

	Miko sipped her tea, and after a short silence, let her expression fall a
bit.  She murmered, full of regret, "I'm sorry, Guardian Spirit."

	"What for?"

	Miko cast her eyes downward.  "I shouldn't have yelled at you like I did
earlier.  But you did scare me."

	Ranma smiled as best she could.  "Don't worry 'bout it.  Believe me, if
there's one thing I'm used to, it's being yelled at."

	Miko was about to ask why a spirit would be yelled at, but she saw in her
guardian's eyes that that was another of those 'complicated' stories, so
she let it go.  Instead, she said, "You really are an exceptional fighter.
I really had no reason to be worried."

	Ranma blushed slightly and started fumbling with her pig-tail.  "Your
pop's a really good martial artist too.  That was one of the best workouts
I've had in a while.  Sometimes it gets kinda boring fighting MY pop every
day when we both know each other's moves."

	Miko brought her cup to her lips and froze.  "Guardian Spirit, did your
father teach you how to fight?"

	Ranma set her tea down and put her hands behind her head, "Yep--well, sort
of.  Though nowadays, it seems like I'm learnin to do more stuff than he
knows."  Miko was awestruck.  "Hey, why doesn't your pop teach you to
fight?  Y'know, so ya can look after yourself."

	Miko dropped her head and stood up to get more tea from the counter.   _I
might have been able to save Niko *sob*...._  "But I'm just a girl, and
Father says girls are too weak to make good fighters.  Girls are more
suited for cooking, cleaning, and managing the home." (CUTE VOICE AND
CHEF'S NOTE: GRRRRR!)

	Ranma folded her arms and snickered. (CHEF'S NOTE: You tell her, Ranchan!)
(CUTE VOICE: Yeah, you tell Chinese hussy.) (OLD VOICE: It never worked
before.) (CUTE VOICE: Huh?  What you mean?) "It's a good thing your pop
doesn't live with me and the Tendos.  Akane'd send him through the roof if
he said something like that to her."

	Miko stood by Ranma's chair and absently poured tea into her cup, then her
own.  "I know you are a girl and can fight very well--maybe even better
than Father--but you are a guardian spirit...."  She cocked her head. (CUTE
VOICE: Why Miko cock head.) (NOTE: Oh, crap.  Don't start this again.)
(CUTE VOICE: What?) "Who's Akane?"

	Ranma bit her lower lip and reached for her cup.  "Well... she's sorta...
my fiancee...."

	Miko facefaulted, and her kettle would have dropped to the floor if Ranma
hadn't have been close enough to catch it.  "You have a fiancee, and she's
a girl!  But... but....  I've heard some people in the village say that
that sort of thing went on in the southern regions, but... I thought that
was only a joke."

	Ranma looked down at herself, then started frantically waving her arms.
"No no no no, it's not like that at all."

	Miko looked at Ranma like she was the strangest thing on the face of the
planet.  "I deeply apologize if I've made you feel uncomfortable, or if
I've given you reason to believe that I...."  She trailed off.

	Ranma slumped forward and sighed.  She rested the tea kettle on her lap
and stared at it.  "I guess I had to tell ya sooner or later.  I hope ya
don't take it the wrong way."  She started to say something else, but then
just dumped the entire kettle of tea onto her head.

	Right before Miko's eyes, her guardian's features changed, her hair turned
black, and her body grew until her blouse started stretching beyond its
limit.  Miko's remained dumbstruck (CHEF'S NOTE: Dumb, anyway.), and she
was quiet so long that Ranma thought she might never speak again, but she
finally gasped, "Guardian Spirit, you're a man!" (OLD VOICE: Astute, ain't
she?)

	Ranma-kun looked down slightly.  "Sorry 'bout this."

	Without warning, she threw her arms wide and squealed, "Guardian Spirit!"
Ranma immediately recognized the 'Wo Ai Ni' gaze trasposed over the same
look Azusa would give an inanimate object, and he knew he'd never be able
to escape in time.  Before he could twitch a muscle, Miko was curled up in
his lap with her arms draped under his and her head resting on his broad,
masculine chest. (NOTE: Apparently, she forgot about that 'fiancee' part.)
(CHEF'S NOTE: Grrrr!  Well, maybe if Ranchan would just mention his other,
more powerful fiancee....) (CUTE VOICE: Oh?  Thank you, Spatula Girl.  No
thought you care.) (CHEF'S NOTE: I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU, MORON!)

	Ranma sighed.  _Why me._  Miko crooned in response.

				*	*	*	*	*

	Doshin crept around each tree as if it was ready to lash out at him.  He
could smell his foe in the breeze, but it was difficult to determine where
and how many.  He held his bow firmly in his left hand, but left his other
hand free in case he needed it in close combat, confident that he could
draw, notch, and fire an arrow within a split-second's notice.

	He stopped before he reached a small clearing and twisted his head upward
to listen further.  The birds had stopped chirping and many of the faint
but everpresent insect noises had died down.  Doshin fell to a crouch.

	He quickly swiveled his head when he heard a twig snap on the opposite
side of the clearing, but he saw nothing moving.  He then heard a momentary
rustling of leaves far off to his right, as if someone were haphazardly
chopping through the dense foliage with a large knife.  Before he could get
up to investigate, he heard another rustling of leaves directly behind him.
 He turned around as a large blue-and-orange jungle cat shot from the
bushes and crashed into Doshin's chest, forcing him to drop the bow.

	Doshin fell flat on his back and gasped for air as the big cat beared down
on his torso and started licking his face.  Doshin frantically waved his
arms upward and croaked, "I'm happy to see you too, Twilight, but you're
CRUSHING me!"

	Twilight backed off and Doshin sat up to give his companion's ears a good
rub, though he kept an eye cocked in the direction of the rustling.  He
gave the cat a final pat and whispered, "Now is not the time for reunion,
old friend."

	Twilight drooped slightly in disappointment, then her ears perked up as
she tried to listen for something.  Doshin nodded and crept toward the edge
of the clearing in which he did not hear anything, picking up his fallen
weapon along the way.  _I fear that my friend has made a bit more noise
than I would have liked._

	Suddenly, a massive hand reached out from behind a cluster of trees and
bushes and latched onto Doshin's throat before he had time to react.
Twilight growled at the arm and prepared to pounce at it, but from out of
nowhere, a large, gray wolf jumped onto the big cat's back and bit into her
shoulder (the cat's female, in case you were wondering).  Twilight shook
violently and managed to throw the wolf to the side, but it landed on its
feet and instantly rammed into the cat's side.  Twilight tumbled into the
middle of the clearing and sprang to her feet, then prepared to attack, her
eyes glowing a faint red.  A robed man stepped up with a long pole with a
noose at the end and quickly slipped it around the cat's neck, holding her
in place.

	Lon stepped into the clearing, still holding Doshin by the thoat; the old
man assaulted his captor's arm with his bow, but the big man didn't even
seem to feel it.  Three more robed figures came out of hiding, seemingly a
little disappointed that their prey didn't put up more of a fight.
Everybody, except Doshin, looked at the strange jungle cat in awe and
started whispering loudly.  "It's a shimmercat!"  "I never thought I'd see
one!"  "I thought they were only a legend."  "This must be the only one in
the whole jungle!"

	Lon, still dismissing his captive's blows, chuckled to himself, noting
that the cat was about twice as massive as the wolf.  "Pae-Kau, either you
are incredibly brave or incredibly stupid.  Either way, I like you."  The
wolf raised its head high and wagged its tail excitedly.

				*	*	*	*	*

	Ranma sat on the floor with his legs crossed and stared meekly around the
room as if he were in a completely different house.  Miko had placed thick
blankets over all the windows, making the livingroom seem almost pitch
black.  She then sat on the floor in front of him and lit a circle of
candles between them.

	After drawing something from a small, cloth pouch, she held her closed
fists over the circle and started chanting in hushed tones (CHEF'S NOTE:
ACK!  She is a witch!  Run, Ranchan!).  Ranma stared at her curiously and
asked, "So, uhhh... do you do this often?"

	"Shhhh.  Guardian Spirit.  You'll have to be quiet for the other spirits
to come."  Ranma made a long face and glanced around the room again.  When
she was through reciting her incantation, she opened both hands and a pair
of dice fell from each.  She stared down at them and seemed overly pleased.

	Ranma cocked his head at the dice on the floor. (CUTE VOICE: Why....)
(NOTE: Please, just be quiet.)  Each one had a different picture carved
into the side: a black bird, a yin-yang symbol, a white bird, and a skull
and crossbones.  "Soooo... what's that supposed to mean?"

	Miko clapped her hands gleefully.  "Just what I thought it would say!  The
crow stands for a stranger--a mysterious stranger--namely you, Guardian
Spirit.  The dove stands for protection, which is what you do, and the
skull represents the danger you are protecting me from.  And the
yin-yang.... *giggle*  Well, it makes lot of sense now that I know you can
change into a man."

	"Hey!  I am a man!"

	Miko cringed a bit.  "Oops.  Sorry, Guardian Spirit.  I forgot you
mentioned that."  Her expression immediately became joyful again.  "Let me
see your hand."

	She took Ranma's left hand in her right and held it over the circle, palm
up, then held her own left hand next to it, also palm up.  Her eyes moved
up and down as if she were reading a book, and her face brightened as if
she had just found the meaning to the universe.  Ranma looked a little
cautious.  Miko squealed, "It's more than I hoped for!"  Ranma raised his
eyebrows as Miko continued, "Both of our lifelines cross, and mine becomes
one with yours!  We're destined to be together forever!"

	When Ranma's hand was returned to him, he stared at his palm in confusion.
 Miko yipped and spread her arms outward.  The candle flames flickered, but
only one of them went out.  Ranma stared at Miko, who just smiled and
shrugged.  With one more sweep with of arms, they all went out.

	The room was almost completely black and a long, silent pause elapsed.
Ranma's voice could be heard: "Uh... Miko... could you turn on the lights?
Miko?  Miko?  ACK!  What are you doing to my shirt?!"  Miko giggled.

				*	*	*	*	*

	Lon chuckled menacingly as he poked a finger at Doshin, who was facing him
with his hands and feet tied back around a tree.  The giant then glanced at
the pitiful excuse for a shimmercat lying between two guards with her head
pinned to the ground by two noose-poles; she stared up at her captors like
a puppy lost in the rain.  He folded his arms and muttered, "Y'know, that
cat must have been then runt of the litter.  A fitting familiar for you,
witch man."

	Doshin growled, finding insult in every word his foe uttered.  "I was
honored to receive such an enchanted creature from the heavens."

	Lon looked at Twilight in mock-curiosity, sizing her up.  "I'd say it
weighs no more than four hundred pounds.  More likely the gods were just
looking for a way to get rid of it."  Doshin's battle aura started shining
and the ropes started sizzling, but they were too strong to break.  Lon
glanced at him in amusement.

	Lon grasped Doshin by the neck once more, disregarding the searing chi
energy.  "Oh, well.  Now where were we?  Ah, yes.  Have you come across any
small, wooden idols lately.  Acording to Pae-Kau, you're daughter may have
recently aquired one, since it is not where he last left it."

	Doshin spat as close to his interrogator's face as possible, but remained
silent.  Lon sighed and pulled back his free hand to offer a death blow.
"I don't even know why I bothered to ask.  I'll just have to ask your
daughter directly.  Maybe she'll be more... receptive."

	A tear formed in Doshin's eye.  "COWARD!  Why don't you fight me
fairly--without these bonds?!"

	Lon tilted his head sideways.  "But everytime I do, you run away.  Best to
finish you now...."

	Everyone turned when they heard a rusting of leaves to the north.
Doshin's aura died down, and everyone became deathly quiet.  Lon gestured
for one of the soldiers to investigate.

	But before the soldier could take a step, the leaves in that direction
started rustling and a tall man (about as tall as Ranma's male form)
wearing a samurai robe stepped out into the open.

	He looked a bit surprised to see anyone.  He rested his bokken on his
shoulder, put his other hand behind his short, jet-black hair, and smiled,
revealing a set of fangs.  "Excuse me, but am I interrupting anything
important?"  

	All the guards gasped and whispered to themselves.  "By the gods!"  "The
old man has summoned a vampire!"  "Maybe Lon shouldn't have made him
angry?"  "We're going to die for sure!"  The new man stared around the
clearing in confusion.

	Lon slapped his forehead against his palm, adding another crack to his
mask.  "Just get him you idiots!  Stab him through the heart if it makes
you feel better!"

	The new man still looked confused, but didn't move. (CHEF'S NOTE: Is this
just a momentary lapse or was this guy born stupid.) The soldiers
hesitated, but then agreed that they would rather face the undead than
answer to Lon, so they fanned out to surround their opponent.  The jungle
cat that they just left unattended just sat there and stared at the event
like a damsel waiting to be rescued.

	The samurai walked further into the clearing while scratching the back of
his head.  "Is there something going on that I should know about?  I could
come back if...."  Each guard pulled out a pair of butterfly swords from
somewere within his robe and prepared to attack.

	The samurai lit up in shock, then gave a slight bow.  "I accept your
challenges.  Now will that be one at a time or all at...."  They all rushed
at him at once.  The samurai quickly rolled backward as a trio of blades
sliced the air, then quickly rolled to the side to avoid three more, but
the final two pinned the edges of his robe to the ground, leaving him prone
on his back.  He planted a kick into his attacker's stomach and sent him
flying into the other three.

	Dropping his bokken, the samurai quickly crossed his arms and pulled the
swords from his robe, then jumped into a battle-ready stance.  Two guards
attacked at the same time, one of which received a kick to the face before
he could strike and was sent into a tree; the other struck both high and
low with his sword, but the samurai blocked both blows and knocked both
weapons to the ground.  Dropping his own weapons, he grabbed onto his
opponent's shoulders and swung himself around to deliver a powerful kick to
the soldier behind him.  Landing on the ground, the samurai pulled the
guard he was still holding and threw him over his head and into the
remaining guard.

	Lon screamed and turned around to quickly finish Doshin, but he wasn't
there.  A hard and annoying kick to the side alerted him that his former
captive was now behind him.  Lon turned around to punch him, but Doshin,
aura blazing anew, grabbed his arm and threw him into a tree and into some
bushes.

	As Doshin took the nooses from around Twilight's neck, the samurai bowed
and introduced himself: "Reikiba Hibiki at your service."

	"This is no time for introductions!  Get your sword and let's get out of
here!"  Reikiba was taken aback by his harsh tone, but he collected his
bokken and followed the strange man and his even stranger pet tiger.

	Lon looked up in time to see them go, his poor mask lined with yet another
crack.

				*	*	*	*	*

	Doshin, Reikiba, and Twilight each slowed to a jog as they neared the
cabin.  Doshin quickly introduced himself and Twilght, then sent the big
cat to wait for him in the back yard--no sense in startling Ranma with too
many new surprises.

	"...And so Fang will now try and harm my daughter."  Doshin kept glancing
in every direction, almost sure he was being followed but unable to spot
any movement other than themselves.

	Reikiba rubbed his chin.  "Oh, my.  Your story does sound bad.  I hope
someone has been watching her."

	Doshin nodded as they reached the door.  "Miko has receintly made friends
with a spirit named Ranma Saotome.  They should both be waiting inside."

	Reikiba smiled and clapped his hands.  "I can hardly wait!"

	Doshin paused when he heard the sounds of two people struggling on the
floor.  His eyes flew wide and he kicked the door in.

	The chairs and table were overturned and the windows were half-covered by
blankets.  On the floor, Miko was straddling a dark-haired boy wearing the
same clothes he had given her guardian spirit the night before, and
somehow, Miko had torn the boy's shirt and slipped it over his shoulders to
his elbows, pinning his arms to his sides.  She had not yet noticed anyone
enter, and appeared to be trying to kiss him.

	Reikiba blushed slightly and tried to cover a smile.  "My, your daughter
certainly is... feisty." (CUTE VOICE: You not kidding.  Why I not think of
that?)

	Doshin ground his teeth.  "MIKO!"  Miko and Ranma both turned with mouth
gaping.  Doshin took a step forward.  "What's going on here?  And where is
your guardian spirit?"  Miko and Ranma rolled away from each other and
started stuttering simultaneously for an explanation.

	Reikiba chuckled and closed the door just as Lon appeared in the doorway.
Lon pushed hard against the door, almost sending Reikiba into the wall, but
he stopped himself and kicked against the wall as hard as he could,
slamming the door shut with an earshattering thud.  Everybody threw their
hands over their ears and cringed, then looked at the samurai with murder
in their eyes.  Reikiba just smiled rediculously and shrugged.

	Outside, Lon went flying down the hill, his mask somehow holding together
despite the spiderweb fractures throughout.

	Twilight stared at the cabin with wide eyes, worried because she heard
shouting from within, which was only compounded by the fact that she could
understand everything they were saying.

	"Wait, Daddy, I can explain...."

	"What were you doing with my daughter!"

	"Wait!  Mr. Lee!  It's not what it looked like!"

	"Daddy!  Please put the sword down!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Phew.  I'm finally done with this chapter.  I've been having trouble
writing it, but I guess it's Ok now.  Hope you like it.