[In the theater, there's a platform in the middle. The lights are dim,
but we can see Ness Carter and Star Summers, embraced and slow dancing
to Genesis' 'Hold On My Heart'.]
~ Hold on my heart. Just hold to that feeling. ~
~ We both know we've been here before. We both know what can happen. ~
~ Hold on my heart. ~
[The music suddenly stops and in steps Warhammer.]
WH: You know, I would simply love to let you two guys continue, but I
just got this fic here and I need the theater.
[Both turn to WH and frown at being interrupted.]
Ness: You know, you could have waited.
Star: Do you have ANY clue on how little time we ever get to spend alone
together?
WH: [Impassive] My heart's breaking guys. Now take usual MST positions.
[They both grumble and take their seats beside WH.]
Well, I FINALLY managed to finish another chapter of this and
hopefully, another chapter of TRIO won't be far behind.
WH: Wee! It's about time?
The Flashman
May The Spirit Preserve You!
--------------------------------------------
Ness: What was the point of that?
WH: It's his signature, don't worry about it.
DRAGON MOON 1/2
Chapter 2
Ness & Star: ?!?!
WH: Oh come on! Don't tell me you guys don't know about this.
Ness: Well� uh�
WH: [sighs] Well, if you two weren't so busy ogling at each other when
I was briefing you on this, you would've understand.
Star: Give us a break would you?
Akane came back to the dojo after her morning run and noticed
Goku
as he stretched out and went through some simple katas. Akane was
surprised that the elder Son could have been up so early. He and
Gohan had battled for much of the night and hadn't stopped until well
past 2 am.
Ness: If only I could go that long with a fight.
"Good morning Mr. Son," Akane said politely.
"Good morning," Goku replied.
"What happened to your eye?" Akane asked as she noticed the
large
welt that was under his left one.
"Gohan got a good shot in on me."
WH: Ohh, I didn't know Goku drank.
Star: I don't think that what Flashman meant.
"Oh."
As Akane walked back into the house, she thought she heard Goku
mutter, "I deserved it."
WH: Ohh, this is good. NO mannerisms of Genma at all.
Ness: From what you told me about Genma, I think it's a better idea this
way.
Later....
WH: [In '20s voice] Elliot Ness and men, speed towards Capone's
hidehout!
"School," Gohan asked, "really?"
Goku nodded and replied, "As much as it probably will annoy
you, we
are going to be here a while and it will be a good idea if you
continue your education in the..."
Goku trailed off as Gohan dashed out of sight, yelling, "See
you
tonight Pop!"
[All three hold on to their seats as Gohan's residual wind tries to tear
them away.]
Goku smiled to himself, if Gohan was still interested in his
studies,
that meant he was still the same person and, hopefully, would
forgive him for what happened, in time.
Star: Yeah, LOTS of time.
Gohan stopped at the front door as Soun blocked his way.
"Excuse me,
" the Tendo elder said, "but I can not let you leave until your
fiance has come down those stairs."
Ness: Doesn't fiancee have two 'e's in it?
Secretly, Soun has decided that Gohans fiance would BE the
first
daughter to come down the stairs.
"WAKE UP!!!"
[Star takes a trumpet and plays a usual military wake up tune, Ness
messes around with an artificial sound generator, and WH makes machine
gun noises, chicken's 'bacawk'ing and explosions.]
"Wha... what time.... AUUUUUGHHHHH!!!! WE'RE GONNA BE
LAAAATE!"
Ness: Hey Star, that sound oddly familiar doesn't it?
Star: Three guesses on who it is.
N & S: And they're all Usagi.
"Well, WE wouldn't be late if you would REMEMBER TO SET YOUR
ALARM
CLOCK!"
Star: [Imitating Usagi] Well, if you stopped breaking them when you wake
up, we'd still have 'em!
After several minutes of loud crashing sounds, both Akane and
Usagi
raced down the stairs at the exact same instant and out the door.
The two males blinked and Gohan looked at Soun and asked, "You don't
expect me to..."
WH: I could say something but I don't dare to.
[Star's and Ness' glare silence him.]
Soun vigorously shook his head no. Then Gohan looked at the
wall
clock and said, "Oh shoot. I'm gonna be late too. Is it okay if we
work this out tonight?"
Soun replied, "Well, I suppose..."
Ness: [Gesturing to Soun.] The easily bamboozled, Soun Tendou.
With a quick, "Thanks," Gohan dashed out the door.
WH: [With racer announcer's voice.] And there goes Akane in the lead,
with Usagi coming up in second, and Gohan coming up fast!!
The two Tendos were halfway to Furikan High when Gohan caught
up
with them. Akane shot him a glare and growled, "Stay away from us.
FAR away."
WH:[Sings Enya-esque] Far and away� [as he plays the castenets, the
other two figure if they should hit him. But think better of it. They
got better things to waste their energy on.]
"Hey," Gohan replied in his defence, "What did I do?"
"You SAW me in the nude!" Usagi shouted at him, "And you took a
pretty good look, I might add!"
Ness: Backstory.
"HEY!" Gohan shouted back, "I noticed that YOU gave ME the once
over
too!"
"Well.." Usagi replied as she blushed, "It was kind of hard NOT
too."
Star: Ah ha! So the tables have turned.
"I rest my case... and if it helps, I'm sorry. I should have
warned
you about my... problem... somehow."
"Well," Usagi said, "That's better."
WH: [to Star and Ness] I doubt this EVER would have happened to Ranma
and Akane.
Ness: [Sarcastically] You think so?
Akane still looked unconvinced and mentally pledged to keep an
eye
on this guy from now on.
WH: Che, sisters!
Star: I don't understand why? From what I've heard about him, he's a
pretty nice guy.
Ness: You got siblings Star?
Star: No, why?
Ness: 'Cause it's natural for siblings to act this way. I should know, I
got three of them.
As the three of them reached the high school, they noticed a
large
group of boys heading towards them in zombie like shuffling steps.
"You better stay back," Usagi warned Gohan as her voice shook with
fear, "This is gonna be messy."
WH: ARG! It's the cast rejects from 'Night of the Living Otaku'
"Besides," Akane added, her voice growing hard, "This is Senshi
business."
Star: Senshi� oh yeah! The original versions of the scouts.
"Messy?" Gohan asked, "Senshi business? What are you..."
Gohan was cut off as Akane pulled a transformation stick out of
her
skirt pocket and Usagi adjusted the amulet on her bow.
"SATURN PLANET POWER!" Akane shouted, "MAKE UP!"
All three: SATURN!!!!
WH: Saturn's power�
Star: �plus Akane's temper�
Ness: �equals BIG mess.
[In a rush, WH brings up the blast shields and energy fields to protect
them as Ness and Star change into their own tekno forms. ]
"MOON PRISM POWER!" Usagi shouted, "MAKE UP!"
Gohan made it a point to look away as the two girls
transformed.
Soon, they were wearing versions of their school uniforms that were
much shorter and tighter. Akanes outfit was highlighted with purple.
>"I am Sailor Saturn," she cried.
[Warhammer cringes in fear, while Ness and Star stand ready for the
possible onslaught.]
Usagis outfit had long red knee high boots, a blue skirt, a red
bow
on her chest and the dumplings on her head were covered with red gems.
"I am Sailor Moon," she cried, "The champion of Love and Justice!
We've beaten you all before and we shall do it again! In the name of
the Moon... we'll punish you!"
Ness: Cheesy speech and 12 o clock high!
Saturn looked at her younger sibling and asked, "Why do you
always
say things like that? You know it doesn't do anything to them."
Sailor Moon looked up and replied, "'Cause it helps me be
braver?"
[All three fall over.]
WH: I should have guessed.
Saturn sighed and shook her head as she said, "Stay here. I'll
soften them up and you finish them off."
Star: Now, define "soften'?
"Right."
"What's going on?" Gohan asked as he stood next to Sailor Moon.
Ness: [pointing at the army of zombie boys] THAT's what's going on!
"This happens every morning," Sailor Moon replied, "Our enemy,
the
Dark Kingdom, has brain washed the entire male population of the
school, using how they feel for sis and... well, see for yourself."
WH: Now, I don't understand why DIC didn't use the 'Dark Kingdom'. The
Negaverse sounds SO cheesy� but then again, I love cheesy.
Gohan did see, as the boys rushed for Saturn, shouting, "Sailor
Saturn! We love you! Take this!"
The boys attacked the older Senshi and Saturn battled back with
an
agressivness that Gohan had never seen before from a member of the
"fairer sex," with the exception of his mother.
Star: Quite an odd way of showing affection.
"DEATH RIBBON REVELATION!" Saturn commanded as she aimed her
Silence
Glave at the boys and let the ribbons knock them silly.
WH: WAIT! You're telling me that Sailor "Planet Killer" Saturn can do
all this and she throws RIBBONS?
Star: Would you rather she just end the story right then and there and
blow up the planet?
WH: No�
Any boy who got close was given a very brutal lesson in the
fact
that Akane was able to do more with her Glave then just shoot ribbons
out of it. After she had knocked the last of the boys down, Saturn
turned to her sister and said, "Sailor Moon! NOW!" as they started
to rise again.
Ness: They're ALIVE! ALIVE!! [snickers] I always wanted to say that!
Sailor Moon nodded, pulled a wand of some kind out of a
subspace
pocket and raised it high as she shouted, "MOON HEALING...
ESCALATION!"
WH: Activation or Escalation. Makes no difference to me.
A gold dust emanated from the wand and enveloped all the controlled
WH: [pretending to be stoned] ooh, pretty stars man.
boys. The males collapsed and all was silent. Gohan looked at
Sailor Moon and asked, "This happens every day?!"
Ness: It'd be kinda boring if it didn't.
Moon looked up at him and replied, "Yeah. But sis just broke
her
time record today."
WH: *artifical glass breaking sound* DENNIS!!
Suddenly, a rose, thrown blossom first, went flying through the
air,
where it was caught by Saturn. "Though the wrath of heaven be slow
but sure," a man with short brown hair, cold blue eyes and dressed in
a grey uniform said as he stepped out from behind a tree, "Hold
certain to the fact that the wrath of the Dark Kingdom is not and
that I, Kunoite, shall be the messenger of that wrath."
[All three groan.]
WH: MUST it be him!?
With an evil grin, he continued, "It is such a shame. For you
are
quite fair Sailor Saturn and I wish that my queen would allow me to
date with thee."
Star: Is that ALL this guy can think about?
Ness: Well, this is Kuno after all.
"You can forget it buddy," Sailor Moon shouted, "We'll beat you
again, just like we do every day."
WH: Well, at least he's still the same, constantly losing weenie we all
know and dislike.
"Be silent wench," Kunoite snarled, "You, who are of obviously
the
shame of your noble line, should not be part of the wondrous battle
that will soon take place."
Ness: Can we take a nap next time he goes into another speech? We'll
still have plenty of time afterwards.
Gohan growled. He did want to respect the Senshis wishes and
stay
out of their business, but still, he felt that such a comment was
uncalled for and he walked over to Akane as he said, "This guy needs
to learn some manners."
WH: [In a proper voice] Make sure to place the napkin on your lap and
never put your elbows on the table.
"You," Kunoite said as he pointed a bokken formed of dark
energy at
Gohan, "are being quite familiar with Sailor Saturn. Who are you?"
"I..." Gohan began.
WH: Oh boy� here we go again.
"But hold," Kunoite interrupted, "Is it not impolite to not
introduce ones self first? Very well, I shall. I am the first and
most powerful of the Four Generals of the Dark Kingdom! The ultimate
master of Kendo and the one who shall hand this planet over to Queen
Beryl on a platter spun of pure silver! The Blue Thunder of the Dark
Kingdom!"
All three: �zzzZZZzzz�
A rumble of thunder from out of nowhere accompanied his last
proclamation as he concluded with, "I am Kunoite. Age 17."
[All three wake up at the thunder clap.]
"'Blue Thunder'?" Saturn asked as she looked at her sister,
"That's
a new one."
"Yeah," Sailor Moon replied, "Last I heard, he was calling
himself
'Comet From Heaven'."
Star: Now THAT is a retarded name.
"Well..." Gohan replied in broken sentences, his timing thrown
off
by Kunoites ranting, "I'm... my name is... Son Gohan and..."
"Leave him out of this," Saturn inturupted, "He's just staying
with
us for a while."
Ness: Uh oh�
"Yeah," Nabiki yelled from out the school window, "and he's
going to
MARRY one of them."
With an automatic response, Sailor Moon pointed at Saturn and
said,
"Her!"
Sailor Saturn looked down at Sailor Moon and yelled, "HEY! What
do
you think you're doing?!"
WH: What's that about guano hitting the fan?
Before the sisters could get into an argument, Kunoite suddenly
snarled, "YOU WOULD *DARE* TO TAKE THE HAND OF THE FAIR SAILOR SATURN
BEFORE I?! SON GOHAN, I SHALL SMITE THEE!"
N & S: Shut up!
As Kunoite took a swing with his Dark Bokken, slicing a tree in
half,
Gohan exclaimed as he ducked, "I thought she was your enemy!"
WH: The fiend! He killed an innocent tree! [Whips out his warhammer.]
DIE NEGAVERSE REJECT!! [Whams Kuno on the head, but since he's so
stupid, he doesn't notice.]
Kunoite replied as he took another swing at the rapidly dodging
form
of Gohan, "A mere technicality. For I know that her heart beats
faster with love at the merest mentioning of mine name and when the
Dark Kingdom doth rule this sphere, she will be able to drop her
WH, S, & N: SHUT UP!!!
false guise of protector of this planet and become my princess of pa..
.."
The butt of the Silence Glave ended up in Kunoites face and he
staggered back several steps as Sailor Moon and Gohan rolled their
eyes. "Oh brother," Gohan groaned as he turned to the Senshi, "THIS
All three: Thank you!
"And just what is THAT supposed to mean?!" Saturn roared back.
"Well..."
"Are you saying we're not good enough?! You're saying we're
just
weak LITTLE GIRLS?!"
WH: Uh oh� again.
"Err..."
"That IS what you're saying, ISN'T IT?!"
Star: Isn't she over reacting a little bit?
WH: Are you kidding? This IS a little bit for Akane.
"Sis," Sailor Moon said as she stood in front of Saturn,
praying
that look in her sisters eye would go away, "Take it easy. I think
he was just trying to say... well, I don't know what he was trying to
say, but I'm sure he didn't mean anything bad by it. Right Gohan?"
Gohan, hoping that the resemblance that the older Senshi seemed
to
share with her mother at the moment was only temporary, rapidly
nodded his head.
Ness: [basketball announcer's voice] And there's a beautiful save by
Gohan!
Kunoite, using the distraction the argument had caused, decided
to
put one of his foes out of his misery. Jumping high in the air and
aiming his bokken at Sailor Moon, he roared, "At last, one of the
Dark Kingdoms foes shall be smi..."
Kunoite never got to finish as a drilling beam of energy, fired
from
out of nowhere, slammed into him and raised a large explosion that
sent Kunoite flying back into a tree, smoking from head to toe as he
groaned, "I... shall... return... to smite... thee later," and
teleported away in a nimbus of dark energy.
WH: Any and all who are surprised?
[No hands raise.]
The three teenagers looked up at the tree and Usagi yelled to
the
green skinned, turban and cape wearing being in the tree as she and
her sister powered down, "Piccolo-san. Thanks!"
[all three blink]
WH: Piccolo?
Ness: Well, this is a xover with DB too.
"How many times," Piccolo scolded, "have I told you to watch
your
back?"
"Sorry."
With that and a shake of his head, Piccolo flew off.
WH: Scold? Piccolo doesn't scold! He beats you if you piss him off in
the least!
Star: Calm down, remember, this has different circumstances.
"Who was that?" Gohan asked.
"That," Akane replied, "was Piccolo. I don't know the whole
story
but for some reason, whenever Usagi gets in deep trouble, he shows up
out of nowhere and saves her. Then he scolds her for whatever she
did wrong to get in trouble in the first place and flies off back to
nowhere."
WH: HE'S Tuxedo Mask?!?! ARG!!
Elsewhere...
WH: Elliot Ness and his men�
Star: That joke's been done already.
Kunoite teleported in front of Queen Beryl, ruler of the Dark
Kingdom, and bowed his head low. After removing as much of the soot
>from his form that he could, he spoke. "My Queen," he said, "I have
returned."
Ness: [imitating Kuno]�with your pizza.
"So I can see," Beryl replied acidicly, "and have you succeeded
in
either of your missions?"
Kunoite winced. "Nay my Mistress, the two Senshi were able to
defeat my minions and that blasted mutant once again interfered and
prevented me from smiting the wretched Sailor Moon."
Star: you know, I can't help but feel that this seems familiar.
Beryl frowned in disapproval. "So you have failed once again.
I am
growing impatient with your constant failure. True, you bring me a
steady source of energy but that is the only reason I have not yet
removed you from your position. You have shown an ineptitude for the
task I have assigned you and if this rate of failure against those
two Senshi continues for too much longer, I may be forced to deal
with you."
Beryl paused for effect before adding, "Do I make myself
clear?"
WH: I think Flashman forgot to add that it was for padding too.
[Snickers goes all around]
Kunoite gulped and replied, "Of course my Queen."
WH: heh heh
Later that day....
N & S: [with their weapons under WH's neck] Don't say it!
The farmer looked up as the large fireball rocketed over head
and
crash landed in the middle of his field. With a worried frown, the
farmer got in his truck and drove to the sight where it had crashed
to inspect the damage.
What he saw when he arrived, shocked him to the core.
WH: It was a little baby boy in a pod that used to be shaped like a
spikey crystal.
Sitting in the middle of the crater the impact had left, was a
base
ball shaped space pod.
Star: When the gods play marbles!
[Ness and WH snicker.]
The door to the pod opened and a young woman, dressed in a
Sailor
fuku with orange highlights, her long blonde hair reaching to her
waist and a scowl on her face, stepped out and then floated up to the
edge of the crater. She looked at the farmer and said as she tapped
the eye patch like machine that was on her right eye and grumbled,
"Medea has failed. The beings on this planet are still alive."
WH: Oh no!!
Star: What'd she say?
Ness: Who failed?
The farmer, not liking the way that the young woman was looking
at
him, reached into his truck and pulled out a pump action shotgun.
WH: Oh swell, it's turned into Quake all of a sudden.
The alien woman looked at him and scoffed as she read the reading on
the device over her eye, "Your Combat Prowess is only Level 4. You
can't fight me."
Ness: [frowning] Don't be modest or anything.
Star: [pointing at the fuku] You call THAT modest?
WH: [hiding, not liking where this is going] I'm not here.
The farmer fired anyway but the girl caught the bullet and
looked at
it in an almost scientific fashion before she flung it back at the
shocked man...
Where it pierced his skull and killed him instantly.
[All three wince.]
WH: Ouch!
Star: Take two aspirin and call the morgue.
After the man stopped moving, the Senshi checked her scouter
and
grinned as she read a Combat Prowess of 324. That HAD to be Medea.
With that, the woman flew off in search of the source of the
power.
Ness: Now who's Medea?
An hour later. Some thirty miles outside of Tokyo...
[Both Star and Ness aim their power blasters, which are ready to fire,
at WH. He stays silent when he was about to say the same joke again.]
Piccolo sighed as he meditated on the mountain top. Was it his
imagination, or was Usagi getting more and more careless? As he
ocasionaly did, he asked himself why he went out of his way to
protect a girl who made it seem like she would NEVER learn how to
protect herself.
As usual, he answered himself with, "Because she was the first
one
to ever treat you like a friend."
[Star and Ness hug at the sweet thought of Piccolo being treated nice by
Ms Moon.]
WH: Good job there, Flashman.
He was brought out of his reflective state as he felt a strong
closing rapidly from far away. He stood and was greeted by the sight
of a woman in an orange Sailor fuku and with long blonde hair,
landing several feet in front of him. "Oops," the woman said as she
looked at him, "You're obviously NOT Medea."
Ness: Well, if this Medea person is anything like you and you use
Piccolo here as an example, I don't think they'd look like it.
"Who are you?" Piccolo snarled.
WH: The God of Hellfire!
N & S: What?
WH: Never mind.
"I," the woman replied with an over dramatic bow, "am called
Minaitz.
I'm looking for my twin sister, Medea."
All three: OH NO!!
"Leave me alone," Piccolo growled.
"You'd like that," Minaitz chuckled, "wouldn't you."
"GO AWAY!" Piccolo roared as he fired a strong blast of ki at
this
annoying woman.
WH: [in talk show host voice] Can this relationship be saved?
The smoke from the ki attack billowed and Piccolo grinned
devilishly
at what he had done. Then his pleasure turned to fear as he realized
that he could still feel Minaitz power.
The smoke cleared and the alien Senshi was still there, fully
intact.
"My my," Minaitz joked, "you certainly have quite a temper."
Minaitz raised her right hand to face level and a small gold
orb of
power began to form. "Oh well," she said, "you know what they say...
Three strikes and you walk."
WH: Geez! Even in this form, she doesn't get it right!!
The orb reached full size and Piccolo grit his teeth as he felt
the
enormous power radiating from the golden ball. "I call this attack,"
Minaitz said, "LOVE AND BEAUTY..."
Star:�[imitating Minaitz] MAKE OVER!! [pretends to put make up and
lipstick on Piccolo. ]
[All three laugh.]
Minaitz stopped from saying the final word of the attack as her
Scouter suddenly beeped and displayed a new Combat Prowess Level to
her. "Combat Prowess... 329. That HAS to be Medea."
So, Piccolo quickly forgotten, Minaitz flew off in search of
the
higher ratings source.
WH: Hmm, I think I smell even more plot trouble�
Piccolo looked in the direction that the alien was flying in
and
quickly realized that her course would take her to Tokyo...
And, more importantly, Nerima.
Ness: Incoming plot collisions!!
TO BE CONTINUED...
[all three get up and Star and Ness change back to their human forms.]
WH: Good job Flashman.
Star: Yet, there all things that could be a bit clearer.
Ness: But that makes it all the more fun.
WH: Well, I'll let you two get back to your time together. See ya, Can't
wait for the next chapter.
[The platform returns, and then Ness and Star hop back on and WH starts
the romantic music disc on the stereo. Star and Ness begin to dance in
each others arms again as Warhammer leaves.]
______________________________________________________
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