"Beep! Beep! Pip! Blip!"



The short blond girl sits inches in front of the TV, her hands twitch on

the buttons of the game control as she puts the latest game in the "Sailor

Delta-V" series through it's paces.



"Tap.  Tap.  Tap."  Something metallic strikes against a hard surface down

the dark corridor behind her.  It seems to be getting nearer.



Light from the living room flashes across the large glases of the figure

approaching from the darkness.  As he steps into the light his hair,

mustache and goatie are revealed to be almost as white as his suit.



His red bowtie adds a splash of color.  His formal dress reveals that he

has been out.  He stands behind the princess and waits for her to notice

him.



Shiko: (Without looking away from her game.)  "So how'd it go?"



The Colonel: "They want me back to hawk their new line of Java Fried

Chicken."



Shiko: "You're gonna be on TV again?"



The Colonel: "No, I told them I'm retired.  And it's time for you to

retire for the night Princess."



Shiko: "Will you read me a fanfic?"



The Colonel: "Very well."



Shiko: "Something with me in it!"



The Colonel: "I'll see what I can do."



Shiko sits up in her bed as the elderly gentleman enters with a book.



Shiko: "It's a story with me in it?"



The Colonel: "Well, not exactly."



Shiko: "What!  I wanna story with me in it.  Me! Me! Me!"



The Colonel: "Well, I'm sorry, but there aren't any stories with you in

them lately."



Shiko: "Why not!  It's not fair!  Waaah!"



The Colonel: "Young lady, if you keep acting like that, there won't be any

more stories with you in them."



Shiko: (Sniffs)  "Why?  Don't they like me?"



The Colonel: "No, of course not.  Everybody likes you, they just don't

understand you.  You've got to learn to quiet down and say what's on your

mind."



Shiko: "Huh?"



The Colonel: "The main character of this series is a lot like you.  She's

an alien princess who stays on Earth to be with her friends, just like

you."



Shiko: "OK, I guess.  How does it start?"

From: Seravi <Seravi@aol.com>

Urusei Yatsura: Benten's Stormtrooper

By Jared C. Lewis 

This is my first attempt at UY fan fiction. In this story, Benten starts at 

Tomobiki High School and Perm falls head over heels in love with her.

The Colonel: "That's unlikely."



Shiko: "What?"



The Colonel: "Perm is very attached to the princess, Lum.  He's met Benten

several times and he's never expressed any interest in her."

We see the beautiful Tomobiki skyline. Cut to a shot of Tomobiki High 

School. We get closer until we can see inside the window of Onsen Mark's 

classroom. Onsen Mark stands up and motions for silence. Of course, they 

ignore him. He pulls a bullhorn out of his desk and raises it to his mouth.

The Colonel: "Poor form that, using second person."



Shiko: "Who's the second person?"

Onsen Mark: QUIET! Today the Principal has a special announcement to make. 

He'll be here any minute, so be on your best behavior when he gets here.

Some of the students have their own ideas of what the announcement will be.

Lum: Oh my, I hope the Principal hasn't found out that Darling was the one 

who had 58,000 yen worth of beefbowl sent to his house.

Shinobu: I hope he's coming to tell us that Mendou and I are the Prom king 

and queen!

Mendou: No doubt he's coming to announce that I, Shutaro Mendou, have won 

yet another award for academic excellence.

Ran: I'm so happy! I just know the principal is going to announce that Rei 

has enrolled in school! [girlish giggle]

The Principal chooses that moment to enter the room.

Principal: Today I have a special announcement to make.

Ataru[stuffing his face as usual]: Duh.

Shiko: "That's what I always say when I'm eating."

Principal: Starting today there will be a new student in this class.

Ran: I'm so happy!

Onsen Mark[under his breath]: Oh god! Not another one!

The new girl steps into the classroom. Lum, Ran and Ataru can only stare in 

surprise.

Principal: This is Benten.

After saying that, the principal leaves the room. Instead of her armor, 

Benten is wearing a Tomobiki School uniform. Onsen Mark motions for her to 

sit in an empty space between Ran and Perm. Upon seeing her up close, Perm 

gets a major case of Starry eyes (ala Asuka and Tobimaro).

The Colonel: "Well, he's seen her before, but not in a dress.  I wonder

who has the firepower to pull that off?"

Ran: What?! You're not Rei! Where's Rei?!

Perm: W...what beauty...

Megane hits Perm on the head with a mallet.

Megane: Baka! You are one of Lum's Stormtroopers! You have an obligation to 

love only Lum! 

Perm: Not any more......

The Colonel: "Yes, very strange this."



Shiko: "Maybe it was something he ate?"

Megane: What did you say?!

Perm: From this moment on, I will dedicate my life to ensuring Benten's 

happiness. I am Benten's Stormtrooper!

Cut to Lum, Ataru and Benten walking home from school.

The Colonel: "Well, after that I guess there wasn't much more to say."

Lum: So, Benten, why'd you decide to come to Tomobiki High School?

Benten: Well, my dad didn't like the idea of me just cruisin' around the 

universe. He thought it was time for me to get a proper education. After 

Ran got over the fact that Rei wasn't coming to school, she invited me to 

live with her.

The Colonel: "I wonder what happened to Oyuki?"



Shiko: "Who's that?"



The Colonel: "Uh...  She's a special friend of Benten's."



Shiko: "Like me and Eiko?"



The Colonel: "Yes, something like that."

Ataru clamps onto Benten.

Ataru: Now that you're at our school we can be closer together!!

Lum: DARLING!!

Shiko: "Eiko's there?"



The Colonel: "No, that's what Lum calls Ataru.  And I thought you agreed

to stop calling Eiko that?"



Shiko: "Sorry."

Lum yanks Ataru off Benten and gives him a super duper electric lynching.

Lum: DARLING NO BAKA!!!!!

Out of nowhere Perm runs up to Benten and starts walking beside her. 

Perm: Miss Benten, may I carry you're books for you?

Shiko: "She's a book?"



The Colonel: "No, simple grammar error.  It's good to see that you're

finally getting the hang of that."

Benten gives Perm her bag.

The Colonel: "This is very strange.  Benten shouldn't trust earthmen at

all."

 

Benten: Perm, right?

Background behind Perm turns to pink with red hearts all over.

Perm: Oh my god! She knows my name!

Cut to the local beefbowl restaurant where the remaining Stormtroopers are 

stuffing their faces.

Megane: How could Perm abandon Lum?! This is unforgivable!

Kakugari: Yeah! How could he abandon his eternal quest to ensure Lum's 

happiness?

Chibi: Actually, that Benten is kinda cute. 

Megane and Kakugari hit Chibi with mallets. Cut to a shot of Ran's ship. 

Fade to the inside. Benten is relaxing in an armchair while Ran is cooking 

dinner. Both are in their alien outfits.

Ran: Benten! Dinner will be ready in a minute. 

Benten: Okay! Sheesh! What a tiring first day at school.

Suddenly, the phone rings. 

Benten: I'll get it! Moshi moshi? Oh, hi Perm!

Cut to split screen between Perm and Benten.

Perm: High Benten! Um, I was wondering. would you like to go out with me 

Saturday?

Benten: Well... sure! I'll meet you at the beefbowl restaurant in front of 

Tomobiki High School at 4 o'clock..

The Colonel: "Hmmm... I begin to see.  This so called Benten is an

imposter."

Perm: Okay. Bye now!

Benten: See ya.

Benten and Perm hang up. Cut to full screen of Perm. Perm jumps for joys and 

starts chanting.

Perm: Goin' on a date Ben-ten! Goin' on a date with Ben-ten!

Perm's mom calls him from downstairs.

Perm's Mom: Son! Your friends are here!

Megane, Chibi and Kakugari come into Perm's room and sit on the floor.

The Colonel: "I would expect them to crowd him more."

Megane: Perm, we need you to become a Stormtrooper again!

Chibi: Yeah! We need you!

Megane: How can you abandon Lum for someone with but a fraction of her 

beauty?

Perm: How can you say that about Benten?! Her beauty is more than a match 

for Lum's!

Shiko: "Why, what's she look like?"



The Colonel: "The author doesn't say, does he?  Take my word for it young

lady that they are comparable, but no match for you."

Kakugari, Chibi and Megane gasp in sheer terror.

Megane: Well... it's obvious that there's nothing we can do here.

The trio walks out the door.

Cut to Perm looking in a mirror admiring himself. He picks up a yellow comb 

of him dresser and combs his hair. Cut to Benten sitting alone in the 

beefbowl restaurant.

Benten: Perm should be here soon.

Benten sees Perm come through the door. He sits at the counter next to her. 

Perm calls to the waiter.

Perm: One beefbowl for two, please! Hello, Benten!

Benten: Hiya.

Perm and Benten eat, talk and laugh together. After about forty minutes Perm 

looks at his watch.

Perm: Oh no! We're gonna be late for the movie.

Benten: Oh no were not...

Cut to Benten soaring over Tomobiki on her airbike with Perm holding on 

tight. 

Benten: How do ya like the ride. What? A billboard in the way?

Benten pulls out her bazooka and blows the billboard away.

Benten: That takes care of that obstacle.

The Colonel: "Now that is more like Benten.  Pity that Perm didn't react."



Shiko: "Maybe he's used to explosions?"

Cut to after the date in front of Perm's house.

Benten: Er, I really had a good time, Perm.

Perm: Yeah. Me too.

Benten: Well bye.

Perm: See you at school!

Benten: K' bye.

Cut to Ran's ship Monday after school. Lum, Ran and Benten, still in their 

school uniforms are sipping tea at the table.

The Colonel: "Hmm... Why would Lum let Ataru wander around without

supervision?"



Shiko: "Maybe he's in the hospital from the lightning?"



The Colonel: "Or maybe, she's got Ataru and Jariten watching each other

again."

Lum: So, Benten, how did your date with Perm go?

Benten: I... I think I've fallen in love with him:

Ran & Lum: What did you say?

Benten: He's not that good looking. It's his personality I fell in love 

with. He's funny, and I like that. But I ain't the kinda gal he wants...

Cut to that night. Benten is riding on her airbike. She reaches Perm's house 

and sees him sleeping peacefully. She blows a kiss to Perm a then rides of 

into the sky, trailing behind her sparkling tears.

The End

Any comments on this story should be sent to Seravi@aol.com. Don't think, 

however that this the end of Benten. I will write another story eventually.

The Colonel: "I pity Perm."



Shiko: "Why?"



The Colonel: "I fear that he may catch a cold."



Shiko: "Oh Daddy, you're so funny.  Say..."



The Colonel: "What?"



Shiko: "Daddy, would you like to meet Mommy some time?"



The Colonel: "Uh... No, I'm afraid I just couldn't."



Shiko: "Why?"



The Colonel: "Er...  Well, she'd ask me too much about how I raised you

and such.  No, I'm afraid that I simply can't make the acquaintance of the

Queen."



	Henry J. Cobb	hcobb@slip.net          http://www.io.com/~hcobb

    Any sufficiently cool technology is indistinguishable from religion.